Two Pair
Ever since Edgar lost to Terra that night, he'd been wanting to challenge her to a rematch. It wasn't so much that he wanted to beat her—he wasn't a sore loser like some people—it was that poker would be more exciting if she played more often. And in his own humble opinion... the more ladies, the better.
Poker night had gotten even bigger since that day, especially now with the party back in full swing. Edgar continued to play with his usual buddies—Setzer, Celes, Sabin, and now Locke—even Relm and Strago came to play on some nights. But it just wasn't the same without Terra. She had only played that one time and never again, because she still followed her absurd routine of going to bed way too early, never giving herself a chance to play a second time. So Edgar had eagerly waited, hoping she'd have one of those sleepless nights again so she could come and play with them.
When it finally happened, it happened under perhaps the most unusual circumstances. It happened on a night where Edgar had decided not to play, for he had important matters to attend to regarding his kingdom. He had allowed everyone to spend the night in Figaro Castle, with Terra taking the vacant room next to the king's bedchamber, a safe distance away from the party room. That was where he saw her, up and about past midnight after he had returned from his meeting with the chancellor. She was out on the balcony, gazing out over the desert under the starlit sky.
"Perhaps a game of poker will help clear up your mind," he suggested, smiling as he pulled out a deck of cards. Terra was homesick and had been thinking of the kids in Mobliz.
"Oh... like last time," she mumbled in reply. "It's been so long, I don't know if I remember how to play..."
"But you remember how fun it was."
"Mhm, I also remember that I cheated," she giggled.
"Ah, yes. You had everyone fooled that night." Edgar paused as a strong gust of wind blew into their faces. They looked out into the night again, side-by-side in companionable silence. And then he asked, "Do you want to play with me?"
Terra looked at him. "Just the two of us?"
"I don't see anyone else here," he said with a shrug. "Come on, I'll show you the ropes."
"Alright... I'm game."
Although Edgar had envisioned a bigger party for the rematch, this would have to do. Just himself and the lady in his royal bedroom with nobody else in sight. He thought a little more as he guided her inside, and realized that this could actually be better than what he had initially anticipated. As soon as she was seated at the table, he reached for the cabinet above them and grabbed a bottle of Figaro fine wine and two wine glasses.
"It's been a long day. Please, drink your fill."
"Thank you," Terra said, staring at her glass blankly. Edgar knew she didn't drink much, but he'd be a terrible host not to pour her one. "So, uh, who's dealing?"
"Since there's only the two of us, I'll deal and play at the same time." As he shuffled the deck, he paid close attention to the pink two-piece pajamas she was wearing, as well as the cute moogle slippers on her feet. "And since we don't have any poker chips, I'm afraid we must try the other way of keeping score..."
"And what might that be?"
A mischievous smile played on his lips. "Instead of betting chips, whoever with the losing hand will take off a piece of clothing."
"Edgar!" she gasped. "Are you sure?"
"I didn't make the rules," he said, playing it off innocently. "Poker has always been played this way. It's called strip poker."
"Oh my..." Terra paused as a light blush appeared on her cheeks. "That does sound... interesting."
"I need to hit the shower after this, so it works out rather conveniently, wouldn't you say? That is, if you can beat me, of course."
"But you already have the upper hand," she protested, her brows furrowed. "I hardly remember the rules!"
"Which is precisely why you're getting a head start," Edgar replied, and without warning, he proceeded to pull off his royal cape, pauldron, and sash in one swift motion. He stood up and took off his undershirt and bracers, before undoing the belt holding his pants up. Once that came down, he kicked his boots free and shuffled his feet around to separate himself from all the loose clothing on the floor. It took him only a few seconds to completely undress himself, for now he was down to nothing but his bright blue boxers. All this time, Terra watched him in utter silence, her eyes wide with shock and intrigue.
As he sat back down, he reached for his wine glass and sipped. "Forgive me. Today was most stressful... for the both of us."
She was still staring at him, as if hypnotized by his bare, muscular frame. "I can't believe you just did that..."
"Hmm!" Edgar chuckled. "In any case, I believe this to be fair. You need only—" He paused, lowering his glass with one hand and reaching for the back of his head with the other. He pulled off the ribbons holding his ponytail, letting all that luxurious blonde hair fall to his shoulders. "You need only win one round, for I have only my underwear on," he continued, "While you, my dear, are still fully clothed, meaning I must win six rounds in order to strip you completely nude."
"Okay!" Terra clapped her hands—surprisingly, in a rather lively manner. "Challenge accepted... on one condition. You have to teach me how to play first."
"Of course, milady. It would be improper of me to leave you hanging like that."
Dirty thoughts plagued his mind as he went on to explain the basic rules of poker to his female friend. He had seen her naked before—numerous times, in fact—while she was in her morphed state. Terra was beautiful even as an esper, beautiful as she was deadly, and Edgar couldn't wait to see how she looked in her purest form. All he needed now was a winning strategy, and he felt pretty good about his odds knowing how clumsy she was the first time she played. (Remember—she had only won because of Setzer.)
After briefly explaining the rules, he dealt himself and his opponent the first hand, and the game was underway. For Edgar, it was business as usual as he handled his cards like a seasoned pro throughout the draw phase. Terra, on the other hand, looked completely lost. Judging by her expression, he could tell that she had more questions about the rules of the game. She was hesitant, opting to hold her tongue instead of speaking up. Edgar almost felt bad for her.
"Are you ready, Terra?" he asked, wondering what piece of clothing she was going to take off first.
"I think so," she said with a sigh, and set her hand down. "I think it's a straight flush."
Edgar froze—tell him he did not just hear "straight flush"...! His eyes shifted downward, meeting the cards laid out on the table. The six, seven, eight, nine, and ten seemed to mock him—all of hearts... he could not believe his eyes. A straight flush in her first hand! How was this possible? He looked at his inferior hand, and then at his boxers, and frowned.
"N-no..." He paused as he caught himself stuttering. "I mean, not a bad hand..."
"What do you have?"
He paused again, his mind scrambling to find a way out of losing. "Sorry, but I've got two pair..." he mumbled, shamefully revealing two jacks, two threes, and a lonely king. "And two pair... beats straight flush."
Terra matched his frown. "Really...?"
"Yes! It's the rules... two pair beats straight flush."
Edgar felt his heart rate increase tenfold as she stared at him in dead silence. She had a strange look of skepticism in her eyes—one which he had never seen before, and it almost made his lips quiver. She had either seen right through him or was even more confused than she had been to start... whatever it was, he couldn't tell in the moment as he was too focused on making himself look credible, but he knew he was failing miserably at that.
Finally, after the longest ten seconds of his life, Terra reached for the pink ribbon on her head and began to untie it. He had done it—the king of cheats had twisted the game in his favor and claimed round one. "Okay... onto the next one," the girl said, smiling nervously as she straightened out her bright green hair.
Edgar sipped his wine and laughed loudly to himself. He couldn't believe what he had just done, cheating in the most ridiculous way imaginable.
The next four rounds passed, with the king claiming victory in each of them (though unlike the first round, the victories were legitimate). A second pile of clothing had formed alongside his own, and the owner of that pile had a deep frown on her face. Edgar, on the contrary, was all giddy-giddy as he leaned back on his chair and admired the magnificent view in front of him: Terra Branford, stripped down to her bra and panties.
He shuffled the deck for round six, eyes moving back and forth between the cards and his unclothed opponent. Unlike Setzer, he didn't know how to rig the deck via shuffling, though it wasn't like Terra had suspected him of doing so anyway. He shouldn't have needed to cheat against her and he still couldn't believe how that first round had played out. His excuse, if she were to find out what he'd done, was that this was "revenge" for when she cheated the first time.
Once the sixth round of cards were drawn and both players were ready to show their hand, they looked at each other with the same, contrasting expressions. Edgar's smirk was wider than it had been a moment ago, while Terra's lips were slightly curled despite her efforts to keep them straight. She was holding her cards clumsily with her right hand and holding her right shoulder with her left hand, almost like she was trying to shield her cleavage from him.
"It's time," he said, wine glass at his lips—an indication that he had yet another good hand. In fact, he had a very good hand. "Show your cards!"
"You first, Edgar," Terra gently insisted.
"Very well!" He set his glass down, and then his cards with a theatrical flourish, revealing five cards of the same suit (spades), in consecutive order from eight to queen. "Straight flush!" His eyes quickly roamed towards Terra's bra, and then her panties, waiting for either one to come off.
"Hah!" But the half-esper woman jumped from her seat instead, laughing as she laid down her cards. "Two pair!"
"But—" Edgar stuttered, the pairs of fours and fives staring him in the face. He then realized, in that moment, that he had screwed up big time.
"Boxers," Terra commanded, "Off. Now." She sounded like an angry mama scolding her children for not eating their veggies.
"But... but—" The king cut off with a grumble, and knowing there was no escaping the angry mama, he stood up and slid off his royal boxers.
Terra covered her mouth immediately. "Oh... my... god..." she murmured, staring wide-eyed at him, or to be slightly more specific, a certain part of his anatomy. "Edgar, it's—"
"I gotta shower," he interrupted her, and with his head down, began his walk of shame towards the bathroom. "Goodnight, Terra."
