A/N: This is for Jilytober Fest 2022, Prompt #3: Teaming up when they aren't really friends.
Warning for language, underage drinking, and implied/referenced underage smoking.
"Oi, Evans! Evans! Hey, Evans!"
A panting James Potter skidded across the stone floor and stopped just short of crashing into the wall. His quidditch robes were splattered with mud, and his messy dark hair was wet and dripping. He smelt of grass and sweat. Lily instinctively stepped backwards, narrowing her eyes.
"Hello?" she said, raising her eyebrows. James leaned against the wall with one hand as he caught his breath. The rest of the quidditch team came trooping through the Entrance Hall, leaving puddles in their wake, though they headed up the Marble Staircase rather than descending on her. "Did the showers in the changing rooms break?"
"I've been wanting to talk to you," James said, instead of answering. She looked him up and down and pursed her lips.
"Oh. Wonderful." She hugged the textbook she carried to her chest, as if it might protect her from a wild Potter attack.
"Don't look like that," James said. One of his teammates shouted out to him, and he waved them off.
"Like what?" she asked. "Busy? I do have things to do, I wasn't standing around waiting for you."
"Aw. Weren't you?" he pouted exaggeratedly. She rolled her eyes.
"What do you want?" Lily sighed. Better to get it over and done with. Maybe if she didn't argue, he'd get bored and head off to bother someone else. A rivulet of water ran down the side of his face, dribbling into his askew hood. When he next put it on, he'd end up with a wet head. An even wetter, head, if he did it this morning. God, he was an idiot.
James grinned. "You know Remus?"
"No," she said flatly.
"No? No, you don't know Remus?"
"No idea."
"Evans."
"Potter," she replied, shifting the book in her arms. "It was a stupid question." She glanced over her shoulder at the door to the Staff Corridor. It was still closed, with no sign of who lay inside. She needed to get this book back…she didn't want Professor Flitwick thinking she was flaky. Of course, if she told him she'd been accosted by James Potter, he'd probably understand, but all the same. Droplets of water smattered her cheek, and she looked back at James, who ruffled his hair. Disgusted, she wiped her cheek. "Are you an animal?" He looked oddly amused by the question.
"I didn't shake it," he said. "Anyways, Evans, I know that you know Remus -"
"So why did you ask?"
He tutted. "Sh." She glared at the ceiling. James began walking back and forth, shaking his legs out as he did, tapping his hands on his cheeks like a fidgety child. "As you presumably like him, because I don't know anyone who doesn't, I'm assuming you'll be willing to pitch in for his birthday? It's two weeks from now." Lily was a little surprised by the topic.
"Yes, it's in March, isn't it?" she said. "He's the best person born in March I know."
"Bugger off."
"Mm, I wish, but you've been wanting to talk to me," she said. "What do you want me to 'pitch in' for? Are you getting him a big present or something? I was thinking of getting him some muggle records, I know he's heard a couple. Does he have Bowie?"
"Bowie?" James repeated, looking frazzled. The sight brought a smile to Lily's face. There was little better than seeing James Potter look completely clueless. "Oh, is he the one with the funny eyes? And that song – you know -" he began humming 'Ziggy Stardust' very out of tune, and doing a terrible dance to match. Lily's smile turned into a grimace as he butchered it.
"That's the one."
"Oh, I dunno. He might do." Lily shut her eyes, trying not to strangle him.
"You're so helpful."
"I know," James said. She peeked at him, and he was beaming like he was a corrupt politician who had just saved a small child from a minotaur. That is to say: insufferably.
"You know who you remind me of, when you smile?" Lily said, taking care to sound gentle, almost admiring. James' brows furrowed curiously.
"Who?" he sounded almost touched. Lily thought of the muggle newspaper she'd read in a waiting room over the school holidays.
"Margaret Thatcher." Milk at lunch was a human right, if you asked Lily.
"Oh." James looked bemused. "Thanks."
Lily smiled sweetly. "You're welcome."
He coughed and ran his fingers through his hair again; she didn't know how he could stand being so dirty. Even his glasses had flecks of mud on the lenses. It was annoying to look at. Distracting. She kept looking at his glasses and then making eye contact with him; his gaze burned her.
"Remus," he said, getting back to the point. "We want to throw him a surprise party."
"For Remus?"
"Yes." Lily stared at him. James scratched the back of his neck. "It's his seventeenth. We want it to be special." Lily kept staring. He rubbed his face. "I'm not asking for your opinion, I'm asking for your help. I don't care if you think it's a shit idea." Lily flung a hand over her heart.
"You're so nice," she gushed. He shot her a sceptical look.
"C'mon, Evans, you're as bad as I am today." Lily at once dropped the dramatics.
"Am not."
"The point is, you patrol with him that night, don't you?" James drummed his fingers against his leg. Lily bit her lip, able to guess where the conversation was headed. A fleck of mud on his glasses slipped, and she looked right into his eyes as she watched it. A mischievous light glinted in them. A lump swelled in her throat, and she shifted her gaze away.
"I can cover him that night," Lily said, blowing out air. "But if I'm missing his birthday, I want compensation, okay?"
"I don't want you to miss his birthday, I want you to bring him there. Get someone else to cover you. Your boyfriend." Lily pressed her lips together, an uncomfortable knot in her stomach turning over.
"He'd think it was 'irresponsible'," she said. James shrugged.
"It is irresponsible," he said. "But we're teenagers. Isn't that sort of the point?" She could've launched into the lecture she'd given him before, when he'd teased her for being uptight, prissy, boring. It was different for her. She couldn't drink and skip lessons and get detentions to the point that she got a reputation, because in the wizarding world, she had nothing but herself. Hell, even in the muggle world, she had her mother and Petunia (kind of) and a council house. She wasn't James Potter, or Sirius Black, or even Peter Pettigrew with a little vault in Gringotts and a backup plan if You-Know-Who came knocking.
But today, she wanted James to be right.
She hoped she would never think that ever again.
"Fine," Lily said. Relief sagged James' features. "So I keep him occupied, arrange some other prefects to pop in, 'surprise! Happy birthday! Why don't you have a night off?', and lead him to your devilish clutches?"
"That," James said, "would be brilliant. Cheers, Evans. You're a lifesaver, you know that?" She twisted her lips awkwardly.
"Actually," she said, bending in towards him as if to share a secret. He frowned and, easily taken in, leaned forward too. "I was a bit of a murderer when I was younger. I tried to make the ants at the park go to the beach, because I really wanted to go but we never did. So I used to fetch a pail of water and pour it on them." James recoiled, looking vaguely horrified.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Evans?" he said. "Are you – are you serious?"
"No," she said. "I just wanted to point out that you were using the term 'lifesaver' kind of flippantly. For all you know, I skin flobberworms for fun."
"Nobody would go within ten miles of a flobberworm for fun," James contradicted. "I'm going. But honestly, thank you. I'll see you around." He raised a hand in farewell and started off, hair still dripping, leaving a trail of watery mud in his wake. Lily hesitated, practically mauling her bottom lip.
"Hang on!" she called out. James stopped halfway to the stairs and turned around.
"You haven't changed your mind?" he said warily. Lily shook her head and approached him, pulling her wand out. James put a hand over his pocket, where he was obviously keeping his.
"I'm not going to hex you," she said, eyeing his pocket. "Hold still. Fervens Caeli." She wriggled her wand. Hot air rushed from the tip, and she carefully dried James off. His hair stuck up at all angles, but was no longer soaked; the growing pool in his hood vanished, and his robes, while still bedraggled, were no longer dark and clingy. She guided her wand down and dried off his boots, and then the flagstone floor. When she was finished, she shook herself and tucked her wand away. James looked at her incredulously. Lily tried to look both nonchalant and annoyed; judging by the twinkle in his eye, it wasn't working. Crap.
"You know," he said, after a long while, "my boots are waterproof. Dragonhide and enchanted." Lily wasn't even surprised.
"Go away, Potter," she said. "Before I really do change my mind." He grinned at her so infectiously her own lips twitched; she ducked her head.
"If you insist. Cheers, though, Evans. For helping out with Remus, and for the spell."
"It's nothing," Lily said, trying not to give him points for actually being decent, the bare minimum of what a human should be. When had her standards got so low with him? Wow, he has manners. That shouldn't be a big deal. If he wasn't usually such an arse, you wouldn't even notice. Pull yourself together, Lily. "Now go have a shower, you stink."
"Of victory?" James asked.
"Of sport," she said, wrinkling her nose. She waved him away. "No, really, I can't stand it. Go away." He chuckled and walked off, swinging his head from side to side stupidly, walking with his legs sticking out. Was that really what amused him? God. It was barely even funny. She was just smiling because otherwise she'd scream. Truly.
"You'll be smelling this when we make Amortentia!" James called, waving at her as he went up the stairs. Lily pulled the textbook tighter against her chest, watching as he disappeared upstairs. He really was ridiculous. She couldn't even say why she'd agreed to help him with his stupid surprise party plot. Remus would hate it anyways. But there was something about James that made it impossible to say no.
The door behind her creaked, and she spun around to see Professor Flitwick leaving the staff corridor, four or five scrolls almost as long as he was tall tucked under his arm. Thank goodness. Someone rational to talk to.
"Professor Flitwick!" she called. As she hurried over to him, she slipped, and if Professor Flitwick were not so quick with his wand, she would've fallen. Muddy tracks clung to the floor where James had wandered around as he spoke to her – bits she'd missed when she dried him off.
Honestly. He was such a pain.
But she was still smiling a little.
"That was nice of them," Remus frowned, looking back at Lily's boyfriend and one of his prefect friends. Lily nodded vaguely, trying to remember the directions. Why they had chosen to have the party in a classroom that moved was beyond her. Remus turned the corner towards the Gryffindor common room and she grabbed his sleeve.
"Erm – it's a nice night, isn't it?" Lily said, flashing him a big fake smile. Whatever James Potter was, she was forced to acknowledge he was brilliant and mustering a grin that seemed genuine. Remus looked mildly concerned.
"I was just – going to see James and Sirius and Peter," Remus said awkwardly, pulling at his collar. "Erm. We haven't any plans, but – well, I think Peter said something about going down to the Kitchens…" Lily and Remus were friends, but she wasn't on the level of him and his dormmates. Fuck.
"But – I haven't given you my present yet!" she improvised wildly. Her present was wherever Marlene had taken it – hopefully to the party like Lily had asked, but who knew. Nevertheless. Remus blinked.
"Oh," he said. "Er. Alright." Remus stepped back towards her, and she took off, seizing the opportunity. He trotted behind her like an agoraphobic dog being walked by an eight-year-old. "Thank you," he said, after a bit, "for getting me something. I only got you those Sugar Quills."
"I love Sugar Quills," Lily said, grimacing as they came to an intersection. James had said to go right, hadn't he? She gritted her teeth and started in that direction. She strained, trying to pick up the sound of music or chatter or the lingering scent of tobacco. After another two minutes, they turned a corner and came across a seventh-year with a lipstick stain on his cheek. That was promising.
"Er, Lily," Remus said, pulling his sleeve from her grasp. "Erm – I don't mean to – well – I was wondering if everything's alright?" Lily shrugged, a touch confused.
"Yes? We're nearly there, I think." Remus nodded, fiddling with a loose thread on his robes.
"It's just – you're a good friend to me."
Lily's eyebrows nearly flung off her face.
"You're a good friend to me too, Remus," she said pointedly, and he went pink. "I'm not so much of a tart that I'd get my boyfriend to cover my patrol." Remus winced.
"Of course. Yes. Sorry," he added. "I don't think you're a tart at all."
"Good. Now come on." Fantastic, now Remus thought she'd been trying to proposition him. Why was she doing this? Bloody James Potter.
Finally, the distant echoes of a saxophone reached her ears – Changes, she realised, grinning – and she spotted a door flanked by two gold balloons. Remus stopped in his tracks behind her.
"Oh, no," he said. "No. No. Lily."
"James was nice to me for this," she informed him. "That's how much he wanted it. Come on, don't let it be in vain." She knocked on the door. Remus sighed, then gave her a little sidewards smirk.
"James?" he said. Lily swallowed.
"James," she repeated quietly. Not Potter.
The door was thrown open and the room inside turned dark. The music played for a moment or two until someone switched it off. Lily looked at Remus and stepped inside, beckoning him to follow her. Begrudgingly, he did.
"Three," she heard James, Sirius and Peter whisper in unison, not subtly at all. "Two. One."
"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REMUS!" Yellow light flooded the room, and Lily stumbled as three boys rushed forward and knocked Remus over. Confetti fell from the ceiling. People screamed, apparently just because they could. Lily straightened, brushing herself off, and regarded the pile on the ground. James on top of Peter on top of Sirius on top of Remus, of whom only his shoes were visible, poking out from beneath Sirius' dark robes. Lily clapped along with the others until the four wheezily stood up, coughing and rubbing various bruised body parts. James had a shiny gold party hat strapped to his head and no glasses; maroon robes that fit tightly around his torso and flared at the ankles. She spotted something a few feet away and bent to pick it up. With a quick spell, she mended them.
"Evans!" James said, finally pulling out of the crush to see her. So as far as he was concerned, they were still on a last-name basis.
"Potter," she said coolly, and held out her hand. "You lost these?" He picked up his glasses and slid them on. That looked better; he was naked without them. It was like seeing someone's bare bum.
"You're brilliant, Evans," James said, beaming from ear-to-ear. He seemed a little tipsy, so that explained the compliment, but she found herself beaming back at him nevertheless. It was probably because they were at a party, and it was Remus' birthday, and the atmosphere just sort of got to her. She shrugged, looking at the floor.
"I nearly got lost," she said.
"That's half the fun," James said. Lily rolled her eyes. "No, it is. But seriously, Lily, before I get too pissed: thank you. Thank you. I mean it." Lily. He put his hand on her shoulder. The touch was foreign, but his hand was warm, and she didn't shrug it off.
"Yeah," she said. "It's fine. It's for Remus, anyway."
"Yeah," James said. They both looked over at their friend, who now had a drink in each hand and was being subjected to some animated explanation of Sirius'. It was weird, looking in the same direction as James, probably thinking much the same thing as him, his touch still burning through her robes.
Fortunately, she thought, it was the last time it would happen. There would be no reason for her and James to team up again.
