It was supposed to be negative.
It was supposed to be negative.
It was supposed to be negative.
Mika Macklin rued the moment she opened her eyes and saw the two pink lines glaring at her. She wasn't- she couldn't have been. Mika quickly put the test down on the bathroom sink of her shoutout recovery room and rushed to pick up the box she had bought it in. Maybe it was expired and that's why it was giving, hopefully, false results. Mika searched for the label blinking away any possible tears, she wasn't going to cry because she wasn't pregnant. When she found the ridiculously small date, her chest started to close in, it wasn't expired, far from it.
Mika picked the pregnancy test back up and stared at it, raising it to light, hoping to find something else, anything else. Her eyes flickered and Mika caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her eyes were stuck there, looking at herself. She brought the test down and her small hands gripped it. Her throat started to ache and she put a gentle hand on her stomach, she wouldn't cry. All these emotions came at her at once and she was overwhelmed. She begged to be let out of this nightmare.
Mika took a deep breath, then slightly turned to the side, and pulled her shirt back to make it seem tighter. So that's what it was, she thought. Her belly had been bloated for the last four months and she thought it was simply because she kept on eating so much.
All the symptoms that made her take that dumb test started to make sense, her crazy appetites, cravings, nausea, tiredness, headaches, etc. As a matter of fact, she couldn't remember the last time she had her period. She had been too grateful that she wasn't experiencing intense cramps that she completely overlooked the fact that something might have been wrong.
She left her shirt alone and nearly lost her balance processing how real this was. She held onto the sink counter to keep her up and the puke down. Her hands started to shake and she brought them to her hair clawing deep into her scalp trying to get a grip. Mika told herself to calm down before she exploded, she was a thinker and she needed to think now more than ever.
They used protection. But maybe it was defective, she doesn't recall them checking it first. They were seventeen and sex was new to them, so they were bound to do things wrong but it wasn't supposed to be this wrong. It was in the moment and she would be lying if she said she didn't remember it well. She remembers nearly every small detail from that night, it was the most surreal thing she'd ever experienced. It had been slow and graceful and awkward and passionate and overall the most complete they'd ever felt.
Mika looked at herself in the mirror and placed a hand over her stomach again, only this time she was trembling and tears threatened to fall down her face. She covered her hand with her mouth to muffle the broken sobs that were coming. She shrunk to the floor weeping, her back against the door. Mika curled her legs up to her chest for some comfort but she still felt cold. She buried her head into her knees and wept unrulily.
How could I be this stupid, this irresponsible?
What was she gonna tell everyone?... What she was gonna tell Bose?
)))))))
Bose had noticed that for the past month Mika hadn't been herself. She was very moody, no longer took part in doing the things she liked, was tired all the time, always had a dull expression; which was different from her usual happy-go-lucky smile, and had socially withdrawn herself from people, including him. Of course, he tried to talk to her about it but she would always say that it was all in his head and she was fine.
However, it kept getting worse and worse. She hadn't been treating him like he was her boyfriend in so long. They barely hung out together anymore because she always had some type of excuse and anytime he said he was okay with tagging along just because he missed her, she got upset. When they did find time to be together, she didn't talk much and he was sure she was ignoring him when she didn't wanna cuddle.
A week ago, they were supposed to go out but she canceled last minute claiming 'something came up'. He asked for more details then she completely snapped, "Would you stop that? We don't need to be together every single second of the fucking day! I'm not your babysitter Bose!" and then she stormed away from him.
Bose nearly cried that day and he had been stressing out over her for what felt like forever. He didn't get it, did he do something wrong? He tried everything to try to ease her and make her feel comfortable enough to tell him what was going on. This definitely wasn't his Mika. He tried talking to Miles about it and he told Bose that maybe she needed some space because he rarely saw her at home either, she was always in her room but sometimes came out for dinner. Although she had been eating a lot lately, he once saw her carrying plates and plates up to her room and he was gonna comment on it but he remembered what she once told him, "Never comment on how much a woman eats".
Anyways when Miles suggested she needed space Bose immediately started to panic, every time a relationship needs space' it usually meant 'i'm done with you'. Was Mika planning on breaking up with him? It couldn't be that, things had been going so well before she started acting differently.
Maybe it was that night that was bothering her, but it was nearly five months ago and they've been doing it ever since so why would it be bothering her now? Perhaps she regretted it, he thought. He would be lying if he said he didn't about those days often. He loved Mika, there was no doubt about it, however, being with her in such a special way seemed to have opened up another level of intimacy between them. They couldn't get enough of each other after their first time, they felt so close and in love, the happiest they'd ever been.
Bose cherished the moments and wished he could back to that time when everything was the epiphany of perfect.
