Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money

Side Notes: If you haven't seen or read about the movie Spaceballs? Please do because this is a sequel to that movie.

There are slight to moderate hints at Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Wars the Prequel Trilogy, and more science fiction movies and TV shows. But, reading about or watching either of them is not required.

Prologue: Prophets of Post Production

Outer space along with a text crawl appears on a screen.

The text crawl says this:

Chapter Twelve

It's been five years after planet Druidia was saved by Lone Starr and his friends. Lone Starr and Princess Vespa have been happy together in their castle. They have a five year old daughter named Amidalala.

Dot and her droid husband Comma have been living happy lives together. Barf and his half dog-half woman Wawg wife Barkizabeth have been living happy lives together. Comma and Barkizabeth just get mentioned because they didn't want to be actors in this movie.

Anyway... Recent days have led the Prophets of Post Production to have a galactic emergency meeting.

The Shell Company Federation is threatening to replace everyone in the galaxy with "shellball" copies of themselves unless the Prophets of Post Production can revitalize the galaxy with a sequel to the Spaceballs movie.

Unbeknowst to Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, Dot, and Barf... But knowst to those reading this movie's text crawl... They're going to be pulled into a next generation adventure to help save the galaxy from The Shell Company Federation.

And... There are yet more screwball twists to come for them.

No flash photography or flashing clothes while in the theater. There are parents and young children who want to watch this movie too.


Then... A bunch of opening credits go by while Spaceball pods are zooming left and right.

Some of the Spaceball pods explode in space. Some of them crash land into planets.

After the opening credits... Planet Spaceball explodes in a pile of metal debris and crumpled Derri-Air cans of air.

The view cuts back from a gray TV monitor. A TV monitor in a council styled planetarium room for the Prophets of Post Production.

Several cloaked guys are sitting in gray toilet styled chairs around the monitor. They're all wearing dark green cloaks with yellow lines across. Their chairs each have PPP written on them in sparkling bright yellow.

One of the Prophets of Post Production somewhat nervously voices, "and this is what happened when we ran out of ideas for writing the Spaceballs into the sequel. They were running out of air and patience, and so they piloted themselves away from our voices in their Spaceball pods just to spite us. They had air in their pods anyway. But, that's not the point. The point is time is running out for this galaxy, and we need to write a movie quick to save the galaxy from The Shell Company Federation. Any new writing options since our last galactic meeting?"

The others use their Schwartz rings to show in green cones of light what other writing options they've come up with.

One of them shows in a green cone of light Tom C. and Tom H. with a red x by them. One of them shows in a green cone a thought bubble that says "licensing disagreements" and the Muppet Babies with a red x by them. One of them shows in a green cone of light a certain Marvel character named Wade Wilson with a red x by him...and with part of the red x being over one of his hand gestures.

The first Prophet of Post Production frustratedly sighs into his hand. His Schwartz ring is shown as he does.

One of them asks, "well, what about Rick? Did we get him?"

In a familiar voice... A third Prophet of Post Production figures, "well... Only my voice is not too busy to come to the movie. I'd like to help more with the sequel to Spaceballs. But, well... Hollywood sometimes. You know how it is."

The second Prophet of Post Production kind of awkwardly says, "that's a nice little impression of him. But... We were looking to cast Rick M. himself."

The third Prophet of Post Production awkwardly goes, "um... What were we talking about? I kind of blanked out for a second there."

He was speaking in his usual voice again. Most of the Prophets of Post Production look wide eyed in shock at him.

The second Prophet of Post Production awkwardly asks, "what? Did I sleepwalk levitate myself again?"

Most of the Prophets of Post Production try hard not to chuckle. They're smiling.

The first Prophet of Post Production insists, "no, no. It's okay."

A fourth Prophet of Post Production assures, "we'll figure out a way to write in Rick's voice."

The third Prophet of Post Production concludes, "ohh! I got it. A CGI replication of Dark Helmet's face. The audience will never know."

Most of the Prophets of Post Production lightly go, "that's brilliant!"

They are clapping for the third Prophet of Post Production. He smiles at them.

There's a knock on a door. The door has "casting call" written across it in near whitish blue letters.

The second Prophet of Post Production says, "come in."

A water elemental with a black hat and a matching eye patch comes swirling in. A waterfall is on the other side of the door.

The first Prophet of Post Production says, "Captain Gregory Typhoon. Have you found our stars?"

Captain Gregory Typhoon nods.

The third Prophet of Post Production is quick to assume, "new stars, and you didn't tell us?!"

Some of the Prophets of Post Production start to argue.

The first Prophet of Post Production assures, "PPPs, please! I didn't get new stars. You'll see. Send them in."

Captain Gregory Typhoon says, "very good sir."

He puts his water elemental hands into the waterfall. He absorbs the waterfall into himself.

Lone Starr and Princess Vespa go through the door by somewhat nervously walking around water puddles on the floor.

Lone Starr kind of awkwardly asks, "um... Hello. Where are we?"

Princess Vespa realizes, "wait: These are the famous Prophets of Post Production. Yogurt is part of this circle."

She and Lone Starr smile wide.

The fourth Prophet of Post Production points out, "he usually likes to work on merchandising on the moon of Vega. But, you're welcome to leave a message for him."

Princess Vespa awkwardly starts to say, "umm... Well... I wasn't quite prepared for..."

Lone Starr deduces, "well, we've talked to Yogurt a lot. We hang out summer and winter holidays too. So... Maybe just "hello. Hope the merchandising continues to go well"."

Princess Vespa adds, "great answer. I'll go with that too."

Most of the Prophets of Post Production smile.

The fourth Prophet of Post Production adds, "I'm sure he'll be pleased you stopped by."

Princess Vespa and Lone Starr say thanks.

Lone Starr looks around at the room.

He lightly goes, "wow. So, this is the writer's room. Prophets of Post Production... Why are you calling us over here to the writer's room?"

He kind of lightly gestures over to the Prophets of Post Production.

The second Prophets of Post Production reasons, "because we need Druidia's approval to start filming the new movie, and Princess Vespa is a great ambassador for this movie because you won't argue too much with her anyway."

Princess Vespa chuckles. Lone Starr annoyedly glares.

Lone Starr kind of tensely questions, "you told them my secret?!"

Princess Vespa puts a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Princess Vespa tries to assure, "sorry sweet starry. But... Please at least think about this movie deal: Of how much more money at the box office we'll all make if..."

Sounding better already... Lone Starr asks, "money?"

Princess Vespa nods.

She and Lone Starr smile.

Princess Vespa lightly urges, "well?"

Lone Starr suggests, "you already had me at money, my royal dear. All right guys: It's a deal!"

Most of the Prophets of Post Production lightly call out, "great!"

The third Prophet of Post Production tries to assure, "and don't worry. Both of you, Dot, and Barf get top billing and action scenes."

Lone Starr figures, "even better!"

He raises his arms up as he does.

Princess Vespa wonders, "well... Do I have to get my hair shot or use a gun?"

Everyone makes a awkward face.

Most of the Prophets of Post Production lightly insist, "not at all!"

The first Prophet of Post Production tries to assure, "we're leaving this movie in your capable hands."

Princess Vespa voices, "great! Then count me in the action scenes."

All of the Prophets of Post Production lightly call out, "deal!"

Lone Starr adds, "great. This is going to be so great! Later guys."

He casually waves to the Prophets of Post Production.

Princess Vespa sincerely says, "it's a honor meeting with you, Prophets of Post Production. Please don't write me badly."

She goes on, "I know what happened to Tasha Yar on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I know a Rick B. guy had a wrecking ball for Star Trek: Voyager and Star Trek: Enterprise, and I deserve better! I deserve better damn it! Ahem. Please and thank you."

Princess Vespa politely bows.

Lone Starr smiles wide at her. Most of the Prophets of Post Production awkwardly smile.

Lone Starr concludes, "come on, Princess Vespa. We got a goddamn blockbuster movie to make with Barf and Dot."

Princess Vespa chuckles. She lets him lead her by the hand through the casting call door.

Soon after... The second Prophet of Post Production argues, "in their capable hands?! Saving a planet is one thing. But, this is movie production. Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, Dot, and Barf don't know how to make a good movie by themselves! They need the help of Yogurt."

The fourth Prophet of Post Production awkwardly brings up, "yeah. About that... I ate all the yogurt in the refrigerator."

Most of the Prophets of Post Production annoyedly groan.

The second Prophet of Post Production calls out, "not what we meant!"

The first Prophet of Post Production suggests, "well, if they really need Yogurt... The Schwartz will tell us when."

The second Prophet of Post Production scoffs. He remarks, "now that's just lazy writing."

Most of the Prophets of Post Production start to argue.

Suddenly... A hologram of Yogurt appears in the center of the room.

Yogurt calls out, "hey, hey! Settle down. I'll be the judge of when I should show up in this movie. So there!"

He kind of lightly points to them on the last part.

Most of the Prophets of Post Production are quick to conclude, "that works."

Yogurt smiles.

He says, "thank you. Now... I'll be going back to making merchandising. You guys want any?"

He offers two toy Spaceballs Winnebagos.

Most of the Prophets of Post Production try hard not to laugh in front of him.

The first and third Prophets of Post Production politely add, "thank you Yogurt. But, we're good."

Yogurt adds, "you're welcome. May the Schwartz be with you."

The Prophets of Post Production echo, "may the Schwartz be with you."

Yogurt casually adds, "bye!"

He waves bye.

Text goes across his hologram. It says "Qui-Gon parody bit first; then on to Act I".


Yogurt's hologram goes away.

The second Prophet of Post Production comments, "hmm. If the rings are all bupkis... Why are we still using them?"

The third Prophet of Post Production all too lightly remarks, "hey! It beats giving our wives wedding rings."

Most of the Prophets of Post Production chuckle at that.

The third Prophet of Post Production kind of awkwardly points out, "umm... Only two of us have public marriages. Obi-Wocka-Wocka and me, Quill-Gong Barrel, aren't tied down to that life."

Quill-Gong Barrel gets a ring on his cell phone.

He apologizes, "sorry. I got to take this call. It's from my secret...wife... Oops."

Most of the Prophets of Post Production annoyedly glare at him.

The second Prophet of Post Production uses the Schwartz to pull his cell phone away from him. He crushes it with a glowing green hand.

The second Prophet of Post Production's name is Lace Wind-up.

With a glare... He says, "Quill-Gong Barrel... Go to your room and think about what you did! This is too far even for your whims, and we do have a few standards around here. Not a lot. But, they're less complicated than trying to literally suppress all emotion."

Quill-Gong Barrel annoyedly sighs. He says, "yes, Lace Wind-Up."

He slowly is walking back to his room. He pouts as he does.

The other Prophets of Post Production sigh somewhat nervously.

The first Prophet of Post Production is named Obi-Wocka-Wocka.

He calls out, "Quill-Gong... Do you want to hear a bedtime story soon?"

Quill-Gong Barrel awkwardly murmurs, "yes please."

Obi-Wocka-Wocka tells him, "I'll be there soon, Quill-Gong." Quill-Gong Barrel adds, "thank you."

Quill-Gong Barrel walks out of the room through a back door.

Obi-Wocka-Wocka comments, "at least some things never change about him."

He and the three other Prophets of Post Production smile.