Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money
Act III: The Shell Company Federation Strikes Back
On the viewscreen... The Shell Company Federation's main ship has just gone to ludicrous speed.
It's a planet sized green blimp with two blimp like claw machine arms. It has logos all over it: Of the Antediluvian Broadcasting Company, Amazon, The Blue Sun Corporation, Weyland-Yutani, The Umbrella Corporation, EA, Warner Brothers & Undiscovered Discovery,Facebook, AT&T, The Planet Kamino, Fox News, etc.
Lone Starr angrily calls out, "Kahn! !"
He does so with one of his hands clenching his fist.
Princess Vespa points out, "wow. You haven't been this mad since the Self Driving Wars destroyed your Winnebago."
Lone Starr admits, "I know. But, I'm mad at myself: Not them. I also always wanted to say that line from Star Trek: Wrath of Kahn."
Princess Vespa, Barf, and Dot nervously chuckle a little.
Barf somewhat awkwardly says, "well, you almost scared me. I... I wasn't scared of us going to ludicrous speed."
On the last part? Dot and Princess Vespa give him a doubtful look.
Lone Starr adds, "well, I'm sorry anyway Barf." Barf adds, "thanks boss."
The movie studio ship's bridge crew conducts scans.
Barf assures, "and okay: We've thrown some **** around on set. But, we all have clean paws now."
On the last part? Princess Vespa and Lone Starr chuckle.
At the same time... They apologize, "I'm sorry for unintentionally ignoring a part of you."
They awkwardly smile wide. They hug each other tight.
Barf smiles wide. Dot's eyes light up bright yellow in excitement.
Dot declares, "I knew it! I knew my movie scene would help them."
Barf brings up, "for Vespa? Sure, and that's great. But... Lone Starr's first reaction to your movie scene was coming up here and..."
Dot sternly warns, "don't ruin this moment for me." Barf just says, "okay."
Princess Vespa and Lone Starr pull away some.
They're about to ask what Dot and Barf were talking about.
But... Pecker says something first.
Pecker divulges, "umm... Captain Lone Starr? The Shell Company Federation didn't just take your daughter. They took the whole movie budget. What are we going to do?!"
Princess Vespa mutters, "oh ****! We bet my kingdom's budget on this movie. Daddy is going to be really mad at us."
Lone Starr concludes, "that's your first worry? What about the galaxy and our fans?!" Princess Vespa concludes, "yeah. There's all of that too. But, we'll save everyone."
Barf kind lightly adds, "hey, I'm all for a happy ending. But, how do we do that?"
Dot brings up, "yeah. The ship went by so fast the scanners didn't pick up where they went. They could be anywhere."
Suddenly... A Labyrinth movie styled tree beams in.
Yogurt walks out of the tree. The tree beams away.
Yogurt declares, "have no fear. With my extra earnings from merchandising this movie? The cameras are still running. And, I'm here to save this movie."
Everyone on the bridge cheers and claps.
With a smile... Yogurt highlights, "thank you. God bless you all. Mel B? Wonderful guy. Goes golfing with Gandalf and me on weekends. Spaceballs The Animated Series set for 2008? It, after the 2-parter pilot episode, becomes sourballs and mashugana. Why did Mel sign off on it anyway? I'll never know. Now... I know you guys are more like the crew from the show Firefly than the main cast of the Star Wars trilogy. You all in a screwball way will do whatever the hell you like while going up against a evil organization and save Amidalala. Hell, you've been doing some of that already. So... Here's what my seminar for you is going to look like."
Yogurt pulls out a chalkboard on wheels from who knows where.
And... This is what it says on it:
New plot point choices for Spaceballs II. All these choices for this movie would be PG rated versions. Lord of the Rings, Jurassic Park, The Terminator Robots vs. Robots(PPP? I think we're safe on this one now), Grand Theft Auto, Pirates of the Caribbean(wait? Is Lone Starr and his crew going to Disneyland now?), Fast and Furious, The Mighty Ducks, Goldfinger(so King Midas then?), A Titanic Adventure, Ocean's Eleven(the 2001 movie version), or Spider-Balls The Movie(forget that one; it's not for kids)?
Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, Pecker, Sunack, Barf, and Dot are laughing hard.
With a smile... Yogurt says, "it's a gift."
He winks at a camera.
Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, Pecker, Sunack, Barf, and Dot are catching their breaths. Everyone is smiling wide.
Lone Starr pinpoints, "wow. A seminar where I don't have to study. I'm already liking this class."
Princess Vespa lightly punches his shoulder. She chuckles some.
Yogurt says, "you're welcome. Shall we begin?"
Everyone sits down in chairs on the bridge to listen to Yogurt's seminar.
A hour later, on The Shell Company Federation's main ship...
The CEO of the Shell Company Federation is having drinks with some lawyers in black suits. He has medium frontless white hair and burning red glasses. His name is David Zasvain.
There are three Las Vegas styled casinos around Mr. Zasvain's office. His casino suite is across the hall from his office.
Across the vast corridors of the ship... Most everyone is either a shellball or a corporate lawyer.
Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, and Barf are disguised as corporate lawyers to sneak past security. They're wearing black sunglasses.
Lone Starr whispers, "okay. Let's go over our plan one more time. Step one: Spying around for any sign of anything suspicious on the ship."
Two men disguised as corporate lawyers pass them by. They are Xavier Picar and Will Tucker. Xavier Picar is bald. Will Tucker has a medium black hair, a beard, and a mustache.
They both give a thumbs up to Lone Starr. Lone Starr gives them a thumbs up too.
Xavier Picar and Will Tucker continue walking to another casino.
Lone Starr whispers to Princess Vespa and Barf, "step two: Xavier Picar prepares to cut the power to Mr. Zasvain's suite. Step three: Key cards. Uhulu and Rhonda steal some key cards from some guards. Step four: Uhulu sneaks in a device in the security grid that gathers intelligence to our ship. Step five: Constructing a perfect holographic replication to lay over the security cameras. Then... We kidnap Mr. Zasvain with Dot's help. We get The Shell Company Federation to trade him for Amidalala and the rest of our movie budget before his reinforcements arrive."
Princess Vespa recalls, "the goal part and step four were all from me."
The three of them smile to each other.
They walk over to a bar. They sit on some bar stools.
Several bar stools away... A bartender is serving some drinks to two corporate managers.
With a familiar voice... The bartender says, "here you go."
The two corporate managers politely say thank you.
The bartender lightly waves and chuckles. It turns out to be Rhonda the waitress in disguise.
Over a earpiece... Princess Vespa checks, "Uhulu? Rhonda?"
Over her earpiece... Uhulu reports, "I got it. Security data is heading up to our ship."
Rhonda goes over to Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, and Barf.
Rhonda says, "I'm sorry for the wait. Here are those drinks you ordered."
She hands them each a drink.
On the bottom of each bottle? There's a metal rimmed yellow key card taped to it.
Rhonda smiles in a knowing way toward them.
Princess Vespa, Lone Starr, and Barf start to have their drinks.
A lift up the bottles a little so they can take the key cards.
Princess Vespa adds, "great job."
Rhonda says, "well, thank you Ves... I mean miss lawyer. Chuckle. Sorry. I almost messed up. I'm more used to working in a diner. Excuse me."
She lightly waves and chuckles.
She goes to serve drinks to some guys. They have black cloaks and big black ties.
With a warning glare... Princess Vespa sarcastically remarks, "well, dear... I hope you packed light for your "early birthday present" for her: Because I'd be changing the locks on my bedroom."
Barf kind of lightly winces. He adds, "ouch."
Lone Starr whispers to Princess Vespa, "come on, my royal highness. I'm not cheating on you. She asked me out on the movie studio ship and I turned her down. No one could make me change my mind about you."
He puts a comforting hand on Princess Vespa's.
With a smile... Princess Vespa tells him, "aw. That's really sweet of you. Thank you."
She puts a comforting hand on top of his.
Lone Starr says, "you're welcome."
Barf lightly assumes, "so... Vespa's and Starr's Eleven is a go."
Lone Starr reasons, "hold on, Barf. I'm about to check up on Xavier."
Barf says, "sure, boss."
Over a earpiece... Lone Starr checks, "Xavier? Xavier, come in."
He just hears static.
Lone Starr mutters, "oh...****!"
Barf calls out, "get down!"
The mystery guys in cloaks fire anti-Schwartz red beams at Lone Starr and Princess Vespa.
Barf knocks Lone Starr down to get him out of the way of incoming fire in time. A woman disguised as a corporate lawyer knocks Princess Vespa down to get her out of the way of incoming fire in time.
The mystery woman has medium dark red hair. Her name is Doctor Beverly Brass.
She says, "you're welcome for the backup." Princess Vespa adds, "thanks."
Doctor Beverly Brass acrobatically flips away from Princess Vespa.
Lone Starr adds, "thanks Barf." Barf adds, "no problem."
One of the mystery guys reveals himself to have mannequin styled cyborg head plates around his head.
He politely says, "hello Lone Starr and Princess Vespa. I'm afraid Mr. Zasvain is busy right now. I'm a Anti-Schwartz Helmet called General Pinball. These are my Anti-Schwartz Helmet associates Dark Spammer and Ventureress. It's a honor to have you walk into our trap."
The other mystery guy has a dragon styled head with red and black stripes. He's Dark Spammer.
There's a half bat half woman in a black cloak. She has a bald head. She is Ventureress.
She laughs. She has a Anti-Schwartz lightsaber aimed right at Doctor Beverly Brass.
Lone Starr and Princess Vespa have their green Schwartz lightsabers ready. General Pinball has several red Anti-Schwartz balls ready to throw. Dark Spammer has a double sided Anti-Schwartz lightsaber.
Venturess urges, "lower down your Schwartz, or you all die."
Barf nervously asks, "now what?!"
Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, Rhonda, and Doctor Brass nervously gulp.
Around then, back on the bridge of the movie studio ship...
There's Ialas overseeing scanner readings on the bridge.
There's a half telepath half human woman named Dana Troy. She wears blue dress robes. She has long curly black hair.
There's a mawg named Firewall. He has mostly black fur and a patch of red fur around one eye.
Two figures have beamed back onto the bridge. One of them is lying unconscious.
With a mechanical voice... The other figure says, "Will never made it to the mission. He was in the way. Our thoughts are one with The Shell Company Federation. Our thoughts are one with The Shell Company Federation. You're next."
He has cyborg sparks around his face. It turns out Will Tucker was replaced by a shellball before the mission.
Ribbons of anti-Schwartz red beams are around the unconscious Xavier. Shellball Will Tucker still has his Anti-Schwartz Beam Shellball Tubules out.
Teary eyed... Dana Troy cries out, "no! !"
Shellball Will Tucker charges for her.
But... Firewall angrily tackles Shellball Will Tucker.
They're exchanging fists and tumbling across the floor.
Dana Troy tensely calls out, "Ialas! Uhulu's device has located Amidalala. Beam everyone up!"
Ialas presses several buttons on a bridge console.
She tensely responds, "I'm trying. But, there's a lot of Anti-Schwartz inference."
Dana Troy angrily mutters, "damnit! !"
Suddenly... Time itself seems to be froze.
Dana Troy wonders, "what the hell?"
Ialas explains, "the movie budget for this action scene has frozen."
She and Dana Troy bittersweetly smile.
Dana Troy all too lightly reflects, "ohh. Then I got time for a shower, and to save at least two hunk guys that like me for more than my looks. Great! Call me tomorrow when we're back on set."
The teariness in her eyes is drying up.
Dana Troy and Ialas are walking off the bridge set in different directions.
Ialas all too lightly says, "I will!"
The sound of two cars driving off is heard...while Shellball Will Tucker and the two guys on the movie studio ship's bridge are still frozen in time.
In not frozen time, on The Shell Company Federation's main ship...
Suddenly... Some bombs go off around the three Anti-Schwartz Helmets.
They all reactively cough hard some.
In seconds... Doctor Brass acrobatically flip kicks off of Venturess hard.
Venturess crash lands into a casino table. She falls unconscious.
Doctor Brass lands back on her feet.
Lone Starr, Barf, and Princess Vespa start to ask in confusion, "what the...?"
Dot reveals, "it's a good thing me, Sunack, and Pecker brought some bombs in case."
She, Sunack, and Pecker lightly wave to Lone Starr, Barf, and Princess Vespa.
They smile back. Pecker is smiling too.
Barf laughs at General Pinball. He comments, "and what are you? A pinball wizard?"
General Pinball complains, "well, I wanted destroyer droids. But, I never got good presents for Christmas!"
Dot, Pecker, Barf, Princess Vespa and Lone Starr laugh hard some.
Princess Vespa says to General Pinball, "wow, you got issues."
General Pinball and Dark Spammer angrily charge for Lone Starr and Princess Vespa. General Pinball fires several Anti-Schwartz balls.
Lone Starr and Princess Vespa use their Schwartz lightsabers to slash through the incoming Anti-Schwartz balls. Barf ducks for cover behind the bar.
Sunack and Pecker pull out phasers. They fire at General Pinball and Dark Spammer.
Dark Spammer blocks phaser fire with one end of his double sided Anti-Schwartz lightsaber.
He swings the other end hard at Lone Starr. Lone Starr barely blocks it with his Schwartz lightsaber.
From her earpiece... Princess Vespa hears Uhulu say, "my security device found your daughter Amidalala in the Shellball Mold Room next to a mirror. But, communications from the movie studio ship and the transporters have been getting Anti-Schwartz interference."
Princess Vespa whispers, "thank you, Uhulu. I'll find her."
General Pinball gets out several Anti-Schwartz lightsabers. He's twirling them faster and faster from his metallic cyborg arms.
Dark Spammer hurls his double ended lightsaber at Pecker's and Sunack's phasers.
They quickly duck. But, their phasers explode in the air.
Princess Vespa lightly calls out, "Barf! Lone Starr! Give me the key cards. I know where Amidalala is."
Barf and Lone Starr smile. They toss their key cards to her.
And... The song Hero by Chad K. and Josey S. is playing.
Dark Spammer and General Pinball angrily try to grab Lone Starr and Princess Vespa.
But... Lone Starr and Princess Vespa side tumble out of the way.
Lone Starr wonders, "are you thinking what I'm thinking, dear?"
He and Princess Vespa smile knowingly to each other.
They use the Schwartz together to make a big Schwartz slingshot behind General Pinball.
General Pinball starts to call out, "what the...?!"
The Schwartz slingshot sends him crashing hard into Dark Spammer. They're both groaning hard on the floor.
Soon... Barf, Dot, Pecker, Uhulu, Sunack, and Rhonda are beamed up to the movie studio ship.
Princess Vespa makes a Schwartz conveyor belt. She and Lone Starr step on to it.
Princess Vespa has her Schwartz conveyor belt extend out and twist like a snake through door after door. She, door after door, uses key cards to automatically open them.
Lone Starr kind of sarcastically says, "great service. Can I come too?" Princess Vespa adds, "of course you can. You're my starry."
They both smile. They both chuckle.
Shell Company Federation CEO David Zasvain angrily glares at them.
He calls out, "they're heading to the Shellball Mold Room. Stop them, Shellballs! Stop them! !"
A army of Shellball versions of Lone Starr, Barf, Dot, and Princess Vespa are firing Anti-Schwartz beams from their hands at the Schwartz conveyor belt.
Lone Starr and Princess Vespa gasp.
They jump tumble off of the Schwartz conveyor belt...just before it evaporates.
They're soon in a hall and surrounded by Shellballs. The door to the Shellball Mold Room is nearby.
Lone Starr plans out, "it'll be okay. I'll hold them off. Go!"
Princess Vespa quickly nods. She fast walks through the door.
Lone Starr, for a second, focuses only on the Schwartz. He closes his eyes.
The army of Shellballs fire Anti-Schwartz beams at Lone Starr.
But... He unleashes a large dome of green Schwartz energy into them all at once.
The army of Shellballs short circuit and fall unconscious to the floor.
With a smile... Lone Starr comments, "damn, I'm good."
Around then, in the Shellball Mold Room...
There's a golden lined mirror with vacuum tubes on top called The Mirror of Fading Images. There's a giant claw machine holding a metal slab sideways with a liquid carbonite slab on top. The room is styled like a Bespin cryogenic chamber. Giant refrigerated shelves of carbonite slabs are in the back.
Amidalala is looking closer and closer at The Mirror of Fading Images. She sees little girls in black and white ballerina dresses dancing around smiling swans of black and white. A image of The Sorcerer's Stone is floating in the mirror.
Amidalala sees herself as one of the little girls in the mirror. She sees the images of her parents smiling at her in the mirror.
Sounding in a trance... Amidalala is saying, "I'm...ready to dance. Wish me...luck..."
She's about to step through the mirror. The claw machine is about to launch liquid carbonite from the other side of the mirror.
Teary eyed... Princess Vespa cries out, "Amidalala! No! !"
Princess Vespa run jumps in front of Amidalala.
She puts up a Schwartz shield in midair...blocking the liquid carbonite splatter in time.
Princess Vespa lands hard on the floor. She groans hard some.
Amidalala asks in concern, "mommy?! Mommy!"
Princess Vespa gets up. The teariness in her eyes starts to slowly but surely dry up.
She says, "I'm okay now darling. I... I thought for a second I lost you. I'm so glad you're okay. You had me and daddy worried."
Princess Vespa hugs Amidalala close. She hugs her back.
Amidalala says, "I knew you and daddy would save me. Thank you."
They both smile.
Then... Both of them and Lone Starr are beamed up to the movie studio ship.
Soon, back on the movie studio ship's bridge...
Time has gone back to normal. Dana Troy and Ialas are back on the bridge.
Firewall has torn off circuitry from Shellball Will Tucker's head. Shellball Will Tucker has short circuited and fallen unconscious.
Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, Amidalala, Barf, Dot, Uhulu, Pecker, and Sunack are back on the bridge. Doctor Brass and Rhonda are on the bridge too.
With Shellball Will Tucker unconscious... Xavier wakes up.
Xavier somewhat nervously looks around. He wonders, "wow. What did I miss?"
He's getting up.
Pecker is pouring a big bag of money into the hole under the bridge.
Lone Starr and Barf ask, "Pecker? How did you...?!"
Pecker explains, "I fired a transporter tag onto it just before I beamed up. I did it! I saved the movie budget, proving I can captain again whatever this ship is called!"
He goes on, "I win Lone Starr! I win the ship. Not you. I win!"
He's doing a cartoonish happy dance around the hole.
Lone Starr kind of annoyedly rolls his eyes.
He and Barf annoyedly say, "oh brother."
Most everyone laughs.
Princess Vespa turns to Pecker.
She says, "well, thank you very much anyway for saving the movie." Pecker adds, "you're welcome."
Rhonda playfully grins. She says, "well... You're quite a man."
Ialas warns, "back off. He's my man."
Pecker and Ialas smile some. Rhonda makes a awkward face.
Rhonda figures, "umm... I'm going to go back to my diner now."
She turns to Xavier.
Rhonda offers, "want to come with me, handsome?"
Xavier reasons, "well, I like women that don't mind how much I stumble in front of them. Well gorgeous? I think I just talked myself into it."
Rhonda chuckles.
She and Xavier smile wide. They walk off the bridge set together.
Doctor Brass, Dana Troy, Firewall, Lone Starr, and Barf look amused.
Before Lone Starr, Princess Vespa, and Amidalala can say something?
Ialas reports, "Captain Pecker... Captain Lone Starr... The Shell Company Federation ship was about to fire Anti-Schwartz cannons on us. But... They're all down."
Pecker sits in the captain's chair.
On the viewscreen... A big electrical ball has just hit The Shell Company Federation ship.
Lone Starr is in the midst of asking, "isn't that a good...thing?"
Suddenly... Another big electrical ball is heading for the movie studio ship.
Pecker tensely calls out, "oh ****! Evasive maneuvers! ! Oh right. Nervous laugh. My chair is configured to handle navigation too. Hold on!"
He barely steers the movie studio ship away from the incoming electrical ball.
A big nebulous umbrella shaped storm cloud is coming after them.
And... It is firing another electrical ball at them.
