Ginny suddenly tensed, and felt her grip on her rifle go tighter as she desperately tried to calm herself down, "I beg your pardon, sir?"
Scott stared at her, "Come on Ginny, after what we just went through? I might have been born at night, but it wasn't last night. The way you're gripping your rifle there pretty much confirms it, and I couldn't prove it until just now either"
Ginny let go of her rifle and dropped into the couch beside the desk, and she could only say one thing back, "Shit. We were so careful..."
Scott nodded, "You were, at least until the last few days. It took me a while to put the pieces together, but the picture's there if you take the time to look at it. It's on both of your faces, especially when you two get into your little pissing contests"
Scott took a seat on the couch next to Ginny and kept a respectful distance from the Major, "Look, I'm not here to chastise you, and you're not in any trouble. You and Dean are the same rank, so it's not an issue with supervision or authority. And there's no regulations that say you can't interact with each other in that particular way either"
He sighed again, and then continued, "And if it helps, I'm a believer in the old thing that says what happens between adults in private is their own business. The only reason I mention this is because this affair between you and Dean might affect the larger issue at hand. Do you trust him with this, Ginny?"
Ginny had sunk her face into her hands. She felt like everything she had lied about to Ryhr was about to explode as though her universe was undergoing her own big bang.
"Judging by that reaction, I'm guessing you aren't sure about the answer" Scott added.
"Can I be honest with you, Scott? Like, just as a friend, if we are friends?" Ginny asked with uncertainty.
Scott, very respectfully, patted her gloved hand, "Yeah, absolutely. You can tell me anything you want, as a friend"
Ginny stared back, "And you promise to listen to all of it, and at least not judge me until I'm finished?"
"I promise. I need you at your best, and I can tell you've got a lot to unload on me" Scott replied, bracing himself.
Ginny took a deep breath, and dived in head-on, "I've been fucking Dean for two years now. That's the best word to use. Because it's not romance, or love, or any bullshit like that. It's fucking. I don't care about him. He's just a toy to me, and I use him to blow off steam. And it works because he must feel the same way. I can't date normal men. I hate flowers, or romantic dinners, or walks on the beach, or any of that lovey dove shit"
She took another deep breath, "I need men to fuck me like they hate me. I need them to hurt me, and I need them to try their best to hurt me because I want to fucking hurt them, so, so much. Yue is so beautiful, and Cyron is so adorable, but it would kill me if it ever became more than friends with them, because if it did, the same feeling would take over. I'd want to fucking hurt them, and I know that neither Cyron nor Yue could keep up"
Ginny stood up and kept unloading, "Now, you're probably wondering why I need to be hate fucked by guys like Dean, especially after me and him beat the living shit out of each other in the port side observation lounge on deck nine after our first dinner two years ago. It's because it's the only way I know to keep this feeling inside of me under control. You know what that feeling is?"
"Hate," Scott said, calmly.
Ginny snapped her fingers, "You got it. Hate. I hate everything. I'm mad at everything. But not just hate. When I shoot something When I kill a target...I get, excited. And not just excited like winning a poker tournament, or discovering an Iron Star"
Ginny continued in a half seductive tone, and half hatred, "I get turned the fuck on by killing. That excites me more than anything else, and it makes me feel so, so good. If I keep talking about killing, I don't want to stop. I want you to come over here and fuck me, Scott, like you, hate me, because if you don't, I'll fucking hurt you."
She took a deep breath. Ginny took her assault phaser out, unloaded the power pack, and exposed the battery to make that weapon safe. Finally, she took her combat knife and placed it on top of her other weapons, before walking away from the desk as far as she could.
"But then, I met Star and experienced all those things she showed us...And I don't want to feel like this anymore. But I don't know how to make it stop. I'm probably insane, and I should be locked up somewhere right now. So, if you're asking me if we can trust Dean with something so massive like Star, I'm the wrong person to ask, because all this has me out of my fucking mind!" Ginny screamed.
She collapsed on the floor and began sobbing, heavily. Ginny Tatum had just unloaded three years of pent-up aggression, hate and sorrow in thirty seconds, and she was all but certain that her Captain, Scott Hathaway, was either about to shoot her or order security into the room to take her to the brig in irons.
But he surprised Ginny. Instead of shooting her, or ordering her locked up, he stood, calmly, and spoke with confidence, "On your feet, Major! The floor is no place for a Federation Marine to be. That's an order!"
Training took over, and Ginny instantly stood up and snapped to attention in front of Captain Hathaway, who continued barking at her, "Is that how you respond to an order from your superior officer, Major Tatum? Stand up straight and salute me!"
Her right arm snapped in place at her brow, and she sharply replied, "Sir!"
Scott stared at her for a long moment, and then returned her salute, something that Starfleet Captains were not required to do officially, but something he did anyway as a sign that he respected Ginny, deeply.
"I think the fact that you can still respond to orders proves you're not insane," He said, in a calmer tone of voice.
He put his hand on Ginny's shoulder, and continued, "What you just told me, Ginny... that takes a lot of strength. More strength or courage than I have. You are, without any question, the strongest person I've ever met in my entire life. That's why I rely on you, and that's why Tirpitz relies on you, because of that strength"
With his own strength, he pushed Ginny into a guest chair and sat her down, "You've got some personal issues. So do I. I'll never look at another woman again because I'll never get over my wife. There's not a single person alive that doesn't have issues."
"I've known Dean for twenty years, but I don't actually know all that much about Dean Bowers, and that scares me. Yue hides her fear behind her makeup, and the more she puts on, the more afraid she is. Kath tries to put her logic ahead of the desire to kill everything around her, and it's not a question of if that time bomb goes off, but when."
"Selar is the best doctor in the fleet, but it chafes her not to be in control, and if she decided she wanted to take control by force, I'm not even sure you could stop her. Cyron is too absent-minded and naive to be in space, and it kills me to have to destroy her innocence more every day. And SC? He's a robot. I can't even tell what goes on his mind if his mind even works the same as ours."
Scott continued, "Even Star, an all-powerful creature that could probably kill God, was crying a few minutes ago just like you were. But what makes you strong is that I know, in a split second, that If I give you an order to carry out, you'll carry out that order without hesitation, to the best of your ability unless it kills you. Look how you offered to kill another God for your friend, Star"
Scott knelt in front of Ginny so he could look her directly in the eyes, "I'm not that strong. So, I need you to keep being strong for me. And If that means we can't trust Dean, then I need your strength to keep him in check, along with anyone else who might try to use Star's power for evil shit. Are you with me, Guinevere?"
Ginny, finally, smiled, "I told you that only my dad called me that, and only when he was upset with me. It's just Ginny"
Scott returned a smile, "I remember. And I do it anyway to keep you pissed off and to make sure that you're paying attention"
Ginny nodded, and calmly rose to retrieve her weaponry, but stopped to ask a final question, "Scott... You never showed me a picture of your wife"
Scott nodded and hit several buttons to link Enterprise with Tirpitz. A personal file pulled up, and Ginny suddenly felt all her anger and sorrow coming back again.
Scott was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sitting on a lounge chair on a beach somewhere. On his lap, and staring at a PADD, had to be Clarice Hathaway. She had brown hair, brown eyes, and rimless blue glasses. And Ginny knew instantly that she had met Clarice once before.
"Fuck... I did know her" Ginny said quietly.
"You did? Where did you meet her?" Scott asked innocently.
Ginny turned, and let tears come out of her eyes once more, as guilt took over the place of anger, "Tranbir Nine. I killed your wife, Scott. She was the first person I shot that day, and I made a point to remember her face out of everything else. I'm so fucking sorry..."
Scott collapsed into the guest chair and had nothing to say in response. His own eyes were lost.
Ginny made a final decision. She loaded the assault phaser, set the weapon to full power, and placed it on his lap. She then unzipped her TAV and spread her arms out wide before saying, "This...this is the only way I know how to make up for that. I won't stop you. Aim for my head and put the beam through my temple. It'll look like a suicide when Yue comes back. That way, you won't get in trouble. Just squeeze the trigger."
Scott picked up the phaser and stared at it for the eternity of thirty seconds. But instead of squeezing the trigger, he unloaded the power pack, exposed the battery, and placed the weapon back on the desk.
He then stood up, and as hard as he could, punched Ginny across her jaw. She collapsed on the floor, and looked back up, stopping herself from hitting back, but feeling that sickening mixture of anger and arousal enter her body again.
The Old Man throws a fuck of a punch Ginny thought to herself.
"What did you expect me to do with that? Shoot you?! Do you listen to what people tell you, Ginny? I told you the first time I met you, I don't blame you or hold you responsible for Tranbir Nine. You killed my wife. So what?! Killing you doesn't bring her back or bring me to whatever dimension she's in now according to Star. Stop acting like a fucking idiot and let go of this guilt already" Scott said, harshly.
Interpreting those words like an order, Ginny stood back up, retrieved all of her weaponry, and made herself ready for further orders, "Ready, Sir. But If I might ask, why did you hit me if you weren't going to shoot me?"
Scott pulled his uniform jacket down and made himself official, "To get the message across in the way you'd understand, and because I felt like it. Good enough?"
"Good enough, Captain Hathaway, Sir" Ginny smiled.
Scott was about to her order her to get back to work when Black Sheep's comm system interrupted both him and Ginny with Yue's voice, "Skipper, we just got a flash from Tirpitz, we've got a new problem"
Hitting his comm badge, Scott answered back quickly, "What is it, XO?"
"Kath's got three Romulan Warbirds coming in on an intercept course. They'll be here in thirty minutes, and Cyron needs at least an hour to get the warp core going again" Yue's voice said urgently.
"Understood, I'm heading back now with Dean. You stay here with Cyron and the Major. I want you to cut power and play possum until I say otherwise. Black Sheep might just have to be lucky for us once if I can't talk the Romulans down" Scott replied quickly, walking towards the door.
He took one last look at Ginny and played his final card, "You keep our girls safe, Major, or I'll strap you down and let Yue kiss you as many times as she wants. Is that enough of a threat to get your head out of your ass and into the game?"
Ginny pulled her charging handle back on her rifle and nodded, "Aye, Captain. She got her kiss already; I'm not letting her get a free show. I'll stack up all the Rommies I need to make that happen"
