Let me tell you a story.

It begins with a wayward young man. He —

— Wayward? Really?

— Young? Are you sure?

Yes. He was a wayward young man. His life had been one of journeys but not destinations. Trials without resolutions. But there was some good parts, too. Maybe even one or two triumphs, when he proved to himself and to others that he amounted to more than what they imagined him to be.

— This is all quite philosophical. Who would have guessed?

— So what happened to him?

He was wandering through a desert when he met a mysterious wizard. The wizard told him of a quest he was undertaking, one that promised trouble and adventure and glory. Help was requested from the wayward young man. And reluctantly, because he knew what the old wizard did not, that trouble never fully left him and instead clung to his clothes like a musty smell, he accepted.

— This wayward young man certainly thought highly of himself.

— He wanted to help the old wizard?

He did. And the two of them each came with a friend, a friend who was loyal and forgiving but also had reasons of his own for undertaking the quest. Reasons that didn't always make sense and wouldn't be fully revealed until later.

Their quest took them to a dangerous place, a black castle that surrounded a never-ending maze. At the center an evil dragon lorded his power over others. And somewhere in the maze a princess was trapped and needed rescuing. Recalling the troubles that never quite deserted him, the wayward young man proceeded with caution.

Caution. Right.

— But he still helped?

Despite his caution, the wayward young man donned a disguise and fought his way through the castle's maze. He had help from his friends and from the obliviousness of the maze's inhabitants.

Eventually they made it to the princess's cell. He came to the door and looked inside. And he saw a girl.

Girl?

— I thought she was a princess.

At that moment, he just saw a girl. Young and beautiful and brave. Though also quite irritating. He didn't much like her at first. But it was obvious she fell in love with him the moment she laid eyes on him.

— I'm not even going to bother.

— He was stupid, then.

Hush. Our wayward young man would learn many things, things about himself and about this princess. But first they had to escape from the castle, which, he was forced to admit, they accomplished mostly because of her. And then they had to destroy the castle. The old wizard's friend brought the castle down, though the wizard himself did not survive, and the evil dragon barely escaped with his wings intact.

And there was a celebration among the wayward young man and the castle-destroyer and the princess and all of their friends. And there was a ceremony, and the princess stood serene and beautiful before him, and that is when our hero began to think of her as his princess.

— You will be devastated to learn that I was barely aware of your existence at the time.

— And then what happened?

There were still dark times ahead. The dragon recovered and began to build a new castle. The friends were marooned on far-off lands and were forced to fight against the dragon's army. For a time they even lived in an ice palace. It was cold, very cold, and that made them cranky sometimes, especially the princess. But there was one night that was different.

— I'm going to be cranky now if you don't stop hogging the blanket.

— Was there a ball?

There was a ball. All of the friends dressed up and gathered under strands of colored lights. There was music playing and ice sculptures that glistened and sparkled and never melted. It was still very cold. But the princess looked beautiful and the wayward young man was starting to realize that he loved her, so he asked her to dance. And she said yes.

So they danced. And talked. And danced some more. They were nervous at first, but as the night wore on he held her closer and closer. He thought she smelled like a flower, the only flower that bloomed on the ice world. He never wanted to let her go.

— Mmm. That was a nice night.

— Did he kiss her?

Sadly he did not kiss her. There were obstacles in their way that neither of them knew how to defeat. But if he had kissed her, he was pretty sure she would have professed her undying devotion to him.

— I don't know who you think you're telling this to.

— I want to hear the part when he did kiss her!

Unfortunately the evil dragon discovered their ice palace and attacked it with his army. The wayward young man and the princess had to escape. They flew away on his winged beast, the fastest beast that ever existed. They flew high and they flew hard and eventually they came to a stop in a strange cave. And it was there that the wayward young man kissed his princess.

— If only it had been that simple.

— Finally!

And they realized they both loved each other, despite the waywardness and the crankiness and their unfortunate habit of landing in the bellies of giant worms. But they were not destined to live happily ever after just yet. The winged beast was injured and needed help and in that time of need the wayward young man was betrayed and taken captive.

He was put into a deep sleep, so deep that he didn't realize he was sleeping. But somehow he still missed his princess. And after a long and arduous search, she found him and rescued him and woke him with a kiss.

— I always like that part.

— I think she's the hero.

So do I. But the slug king who imprisoned them did not want to let them go. So they had a fight ahead of them, a fight for their freedom. And they were assisted by the wayward young man's friends and by the castle-destroyer who was now a wizard himself. During a picnic away from the slug king's lair, they tricked him and destroyed his much slower winged beast and escaped.

Their relief was short-lived. The evil dragon returned and once again they had to destroy his castle-maze. The wayward young man and his princess traveled to a forest, and with the help of the creatures who lived there, they were able to bring down the black castle.

— It does sound like a bad novel, doesn't it. Very repetitive.

— Did the evil dragon die?

The evil dragon was finally destroyed. And once again there was a celebration and a ball, only this time it was held under the stars at a much more ambient temperature. Their new friends, the creatures of the forest, swung from tree to tree and played goofy music and generally got in the way when the wayward young man and the princess tried to sneak off together.

— That's certainly the most accurate part of this story.

— And then did they live happily ever after?

And then they got married and lived happily together and eventually they made a princess of their own. And how the story continues from there, I can't say.

— I have an idea. Come here, you wayward young man.

— Can we still fly tomorrow? Like you promised?

Whatever you want, Princess.