Return to Mayfield

Mr. Colin Bridgerton wanted to tell his friend all about his recent travels. But it appeared as though Miss Penelope Featherington was avoiding him. Now he was totally confused. At first, he presumed it was an honest mistake, that she had been unable to approach him at his mother's welcome home event. He was the guest of honor and everyone wanted to speak with him. He knew Penelope was not big on crowds and assumed she had gotten tired and left before she had the opportunity to greet him.

He was not worried at the time. But he knew she saw him at the Queen's ball. Colin had spotted her across the room and their eyes met. He had smiled at her but she did not, her eyes darted around the room. He had started to approach her, but as he moved through the crowd, he lost sight of her and she slipped away and he didn't see her the rest of the night. She must have left, he finally decided. Her actions were a shock to him and he did not understand. Even more frustrating was her switch at Lady Danbery's home which was the catalyst for Colin Bridgerton to say he had enough. At the next event, he was going to speak to her no matter what.


"Pen!" The familiar male voiced called out behind her.

Penelope Featherington had been unable to talk her mother out of making her attend this ball. She knew it would be hard to avoid Colin and she was right. She winced as she realized she couldn't flee undetected this time. She did not want to speak to the man now approaching her but she squared her shoulders and plastered a polite smile on her face as she turned to face him.

"Mr. Bridgerton."

Colin's face fell, probably at the formal greeting, she thought, but he tried to be polite, "You look lovely tonight." His eyes slid over her appearance.

Penelope was not thrilled at her mother's choice for the dress—yellow again—but with Colin observing her she felt much better, attractive even.

Do not fall for him again! She told herself as her eyes took in the physical changes. He was tanned from the sun of the middle east. And it looked good on him. Do not enjoy looking at him! She cursed her treacherous heart.

Unbidden, the memory of the overheard words stabbed her again but she held back her emotions, "Thank you."

"I have been hoping to speak to you to tell you all about my travels." He told her.

"I heard you were in town." Her non-committal, vague answer seemed to puzzle him, "I wrote to tell you I was returning."

"Perhaps you would have been delayed." Penelope looked past him trying to come up with something to extricate herself from the situation, "I did not want to bother your family to ask."

"You did not write me." It was not said accusingly, but he looked hurt, "I enjoyed your letters on my previous travels but not one letter from you this time. I could understand one or even two being lost or delayed. But none arrived for me at any point."

Pen bit her lip, "I felt that it would be wrong to write you."

"Wrong?" Colin's eyes widened in surprise

Her mouth felt dry so she licked her lips, "I realized that is a breach in etiquette for an unmarried woman such as myself to send letters to a man I am not related to or has an…understanding with." She stumbled over the last words.

"No one has mentioned it before and I enjoy our letters, Pen. I really missed them."

Her heart twisted as she stared into his eyes. He liked her. She had to struggle internally to tamp down her own matching feeling.

"Only because no one knows. How do you think your mother would respond if she knew about them? And my mother would fly into a rage and demand we stop communicating…or make it official." She mumbled the last part before moving on, "I do not know why Brierly has kept my secret this long but he always gave me a disapproving look when he brought your letters to me."

"We are friends Penelope. Friends communicate with eachother."

Friends. That hurt because Penelope knew, No, we are not.

"I did not write you because I did not know if you had others you needed to write."

"Others?" Confusion covered his face

"Your sister and brother have now married and I was certain that your mother would have her eyes on matching you with an eligible young lady and I thought perhaps she would be writing you while you traveled." Penelope looked away, a blush gathering in her cheeks.

"You are the only one I want to write." He told her earnestly, "But ever since I returned to town, you have avoided me."

"I have not been avoiding you." Penelope responded instantly.

He raised his eyebrows, "I was to sit next to you at Lady Danbury's dinner party but you switched name settings—I saw you do that, though I did not realize what had happened until we had sat down. I was forced to sit next to a Miss Carpenter. I do not believe she stopped talking the entire night." He groaned at the memories as he gathered his thoughts, "Penelope, we were friends, good friends…what did I do that deserves your ire?" His tone conveyed the loss she also felt, "Why are you treating me like this?"

She looked away, "I simply needed some time away from you."

"But why?" Colin looked even more confused, "I must have done something to offend you. What did I do?"

Penelope closed her eyes, the memories assaulting her. She had to tell him, "The night…after our ball…mama's ball" She stumbled over her words before she got a hold of herself, "After you revealed that Cousin Jack was a fraud."


Colin remembered that night. He had been stressed as it required him to get close to Miss Cowper to get the ruby necklace given to her from Lord Featherington to prove his theory. He had been so relieved when she handed it over to him. Then he wanted to talk to Penelope.

He blinked, "Lord Featherington and your mother walked in."

"After that." She moved away from the party stepping into a quiet hall and Colin followed, "I heard you talking in the garden."

"About what?" He had focused so much on his scheme to expose the fraud that the rest of the night was a blur. He did remember being with his friends and their teasing annoyed him. But he didn't remember exactly what was said.

"I know people are allowed their own private thoughts and opinions," Penelope's lip trembled. "Your words were your own thoughts but for you to state it so publicly and callously…it hurt."

"What did I say?" Colin hated the pain in her face.

"You do not remember?" Pain echoed even deeper in her eyes before she shut them. Colin's mind raced, replaying everything that happened: confronting Jack Featherington and dancing with Penelope and then in the garden with his friends but he did not remember saying anything bad…What did I say to offend her?

"No one treats me like you do." Penelope would not look at him, "You are kind. That made me feel special and I treasure your friendship. Your words during our dance made me feel invincible and important. Everyone looks at me like a burden. You do not. But to be so flippant and callous about my worth…it hurt. I know you've only offered friendship and it is my responsibility alone to keep my imagination in check."

"Are you courting the girl, Bridgerton?" The words rushed through Colin's memory. He blinked as he remembered what he said next, "Are you mad? I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington."

"You heard me." Thinking on that conversation with hindsight…yes, his words were terrible. Knowing she had heard the flippant proclamation broke his heart.

"I'm not sure if anyone in Mayfair has not heard about that moment." She quipped blithely. His chest hurt. His friends had spread his words around town?

"I never intended for you to hear." He was gravely embarrassed at his actions.

"I know that, Colin. But the declaration that I am not worth a second thought hurt my pride. It made me wonder that if my friend thought so low of me, is that distain what all men think about me? Why no one even looks at me." She could not meet his gaze, "The fact that your friends thought that you had intentions toward me and you were forced to correct was evidence that we need some distance between us. I know you do not see me as a woman, only as a friend, but the letters, if known, would contribute to everyone getting the wrong idea about us and I knew you wanted that to stop."

Colin winced, "Pen, I never meant for people to think ill of you."

"I know that." She finally met his gaze, "You are entitled to your opinion, Mr. Bridgerton, even about me." Her polite voice was back and he felt even worse.

"However, your proclamation to eligible gentlemen has made the rounds of society and whether correctly attributed to your comments or to my own failures in the charm department, I have no courtship which puts my family at risk. When you revealed Lord Featherington's deception, he left my family destitute and our only chance to survive is for Prudence or I to marry well and rather quickly."

"I did not realize it was that bad." Colin looked horrified.

Penelope's shoulders slumped, "Papa left us in great debt. I can tell Mama is worried. She keeps arranging for Prudence or I to receive male guests. Lord Debling has come by twice already this week but he is not a dancer so he is not here today. But I must avoid misunderstanding situations such as a close friendship with you to prevent eligible gentlemen from bailing."

Eligible gentlemen! Colin's head was reeling! He had loved that Penelope had never seemed to be interested in the marriage mart typical of woman of the ton. This change must mean her family is in very dire straights!

"You are a kind man and only meant compassion when socializing with me and I presumed all sorts of things I should not have. That is my problem. But the words still hurt and will take me time to work through. I tried all summer. But when you came back it all hit me again so I had to keep my distance and not be around you. I am trying. I want your friendship back, yes, but your words cut me deeply." She sighed, "I know I am no one's dream but I hoped a man might someday find me a tolerable match."

"Tolerable?" The way she put herself down without a second thought crushed Colin, "You are worth more than that, Penelope."

"Not to the ton." There was no bite to her words, just resignation, "Yet every time I talk to someone, your words rush through my head."

He had always admired her gumption and spirit but as he stared at her, there was no trace of that. Did I kill her confidence?

"I am truly sorry for my words, Pen."

"Sorry I heard or sorry you said it?" She wondered.

Colin opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. Which was it?

"While I appreciate you telling us about Cousin Jack's deceitfulness, you are not our protector and it is not your duty to care for my family. That is up to me."

He blinked as the truth echoed in his heart: I want it to be my duty.

Unaware of his internal turmoil, Pen gave him a small smile, "True feelings have a way of coming out even at the most inopportune times. Even though it was hurtful, I am glad for a glimpse into your view of our friendship."

"Penelope, I…" Colin had no idea what he would say next but she interrupted him.

"I have been promised the next dance, so I must beg your pardon to locate Mr. Anderson before some other lady snatches him up." She gathered her skirt up to quickly moved around Colin to move toward the crowds gathering for the next dance. Colin watched her rush away. Lost in the throng of people for a moment, the next time he spotted her, a man, which he assumed to be the aforementioned Mr. Anderson, had taken her hand and they were stepping toward the dance floor to take their starting pose. The smile on her face as she focused on the new man hit Colin in the gut.

He had missed Penelope while he was away. If he was honest, he was a bit miffed at her silence, but she had been hurting—because of him. He had not suspected that.

Colin blinked as the music started and the couples began the dance. He noticed friends and family dancing but his eyes were drawn back to Penelope. Their friendship had been strong through the years, he had always enjoyed speaking with her. Today, Penelope moved across the floor, laughing with her escort. Anderson looked smitten with her as their hands met and moved through the steps to the energetic dance. Colin realized to his shock that he was not the only man in the crowd watching her as he gazed over the attendees. He caught his mother's concerned gaze studying him before his focus moved back to the dance floor and Penelope.

He had to admit to himself that watching her on the arm of another man made him feel strange.

"What have I done?"

The End.


Author's Notes: I'd love to hear your thoughts on my one shot in the review section or what you hope to see in season 3 of the TV show. I'm really worried with the direction the show gave in the season 3 synopsis.

I loved how in season one the show took the book and added to it—sure it changed some scenes, but the main "bones" of the story was there. Season two I loved the chosen actress for Kate and it was AMAZING how that woman can show emotions with just a glance or silent moment and Anthony and Kate's chemistry was EPIC! But the writers ENTIRELY changed the story from the book to add the sister triangle…which really made the story feel icky—at least to me! Hence my worry what the show will do to the book "Romancing Mr. Bridgerton." Book Penelope was a single businesswoman, shrewd and cunning in the times and provided for her family in secret and living her life—not looking for a husband. I understand the culture pressure of the time but that is something I loved in Book Penelope as she didn't let the Ton determine her value.

TV Penelope has got to at least have some great Cressida clapback's!