A/N: This is meant as a short insert into the Forsaken novel after Connor is almost hanged. Therefore, spoiler warning for the book and further details at the end.
28 June 1776
I have faithfully recounted the day's events already, yet a thought keeps recurring that I must put to paper before it consumes me.
The final sight my father ever saw was his son about to be killed.
I have known it, unconsciously, for as many years as it's been since the incident occurred, yet not until today have I felt it.
Standing there, in front of the gallows. The way my heart jolted when the trapdoor opened; stopped entirely when the rope weakened but didn't break, and seemed only to resume beating again when my blade finally severed the noose and I watched Connor's body fall heavy but breathing to the ground.
That fear. That dread, on behalf of a man I don't even know.
A man who is my son.
I should call him that. He looks so like Ziio, and, dare I admit, like me. Yet the closest I ever glimpsed him was in a prison cell where I all but authorized his execution, too cowardly to look closer for fear of the emotions it might invoke. Now I know.
Had that been what my father felt in his dying moments, staring across at me beneath the mercenary's blade? Would he have felt the same knowing what I would grow up to become?
I don't think it matters.
Perhaps I should burn these pages. The truth I have confessed to is plain: I betrayed the Templar Order to protect my son.
I cannot allow it to happen again.
And nor can I betray my own heart.
.
It's been five minutes since I wrote that last line. I have no resolution to record and the candle is almost burned out.
A/N: For those who haven't read the book but happily proceeded with the spoilers, Haytham has a change of heart about hanging Connor and goes to the execution in disguise in order to rescue him, then takes the secret to his grave.
