*bumpy handwriting*
Dear BJ,
It's hard writing on a camel. Especially when a moron is sitting in front of you on that camel.
Oh well, suppose it's better than being on the camel in front of us, with those two people who can't stop kissing! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!!
Uhm, where should I start?
Ok, the whole thing about the ruins shaking was actually WORSE than I thought it would be. The entire acropolis sank into the sands. I found out a lot of neat crap (does that make sense?) about what went on in the acropolis from my traveling companions.
The bald guy turned out to be a 3000-year-old priest. Somehow, O'Connel (that's Mr. Trigger-Happy, aka, Rick, aka, the guy on the camel in front of us kissing that lady. Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww) killed the damn thing. Good riddance; I don't think my elephant gun would've finished THAT guy. (besides, the kick of that big-ass gun is tough on a 13-year-old!)
The freak in the fez was a freak in a fez named Beni, a greedy, sniveling little bastard. He was killed either by being crushed underneath the ruins or death by scarabs. Personally, I don't want to know. They don't seem to care.
Uhm, the Medjai dude was named Arri Begal or something... He left on his own. Pity.
The English lady's name is Evelyn. She's kissing Mr. Trigger. I'm going to lose my lunch soon, I swear....
The guy in front me is her brother, Jonathan. He's annoying, but at least he's not KISSING anyone...
I've managed to save all of my stuff, including the mummies, though these three aren't too fond of them. Those two in front of us have a bunch of gold 'n stuff in their saddlebag... Lucky.
Have you ever seen The Mummy? The 1999 version, I mean. This sorta' reminds me of it...
Anyway, these guys saved my arse. That's why I'm still here to send you annoying letters. Lucky you!
So, now that we're trekking aimlessly through the desert (O'Connel CLAIMS to know where we're going), I'll ask about you. I hear Dilandau's having a blast! That's good. *snicker* I'd like to see the poor sap who didn't call him master.
*winces* Then again, maybe I wouldn't.
*scorch mark*
Goddammit...OWOWOWOWOW!! O'Connell just tried to ride off into the sunset and singed us all. He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, you know.
Remember that stone tablet? It has some SERIOUS torture schemes on it. Here is a partially translated excerpt:
----inky-Winky,
Laa-Laa,
D--sy,
Po.
---li-ub---s
Come -- pl--
O--- the -ills
Is it just me, or is this gig getting worse by the second?!
Anyway, gotta' go. I'm tired... HOPEFULLY I'll be able to sleep.
Akai Ku
Egypt, Africa
Sahara Desert, The Middle O' Nowhere
1926
PS: Ok, Ok. So Quatre's cool. Gotta' love the bishe look.
PSS: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
=======================================================
Dear Akai:
I always heard camels were a pain to ride. At least they're not the
spitting kind, right?
Eewww!! Yes, that _does_ sound slightly familiar. In fact, I'm sure I've
seen it before.. Hopefully you can come back to 2001 (or I'll come to 1926..
Sounds like more fun there)
Gold, blah. Who needs gold when you have skeletons? Heheh..
Last night Dilandau ran into a man named the 'Alligator Hunter' or
'Crocodile Man' or something. Dilandau was ready to burn him at the stake
until the guy showed him giant fire-ants. NOW.. believe it or not, the two
are the best of friends and I'm following them around in the Outback. Would
you like for me to send you a kangaroo or a dingo or something?
Eee!! That doesn't sound like a torture, it sounds like a curse.. *shudders*
Eee.. Eeeevil. Dilandau's looking over my shoulder and he just screamed
and fainted as he looked at it.
BJ
PS: Yeah. Duo has his good points too..
PPS: *sleeps and drools*
=====================================
Dear BJ:
I'm glad to hear Dilandau's having fun. As for myself, if I spend one more night in this desert with these people, I'm going to scream!!
Last night was Hell. Everyone but myself and the camels were exhausted, and I had to keep slapping them awake so we'd stay on-track. I suggested we camp (I DID bring a tent), but Trigger-Happy O'Connell said we were "Almost to Cairo". After the fourth one of these I started to doubt it.
So last night was basically slapping Jon awake to steer the camel so I could slap Rick and Evelyn awake. Am I ever going to get home?!!
I'm glad Dilandau found a new friend! I think I've seen him somewhere before... If you could mail a dingo into the past to be picked up at Fort Cairo, that'd be divine (I could sic it on Trigger)!
As for the tablet, it disturbs me as well. I think I'll make my lab assistant, Veggie or whoever, analyze this (after all, he seems to think he's indestructible!).
Well, I have to go; Rick's fallen asleep again. It's whackin' time!!
Ja ne,
Akai Ku
Egypt, Africa
Sahara Desert, Close-To-Cairo-According-To-An-Unreliable-Source
1926
PS: Those burns from riding into the sunset just won't heal... Ouch...
PPS: Sorry I didn't mention this before, but I think you should call Van and Folken.
PPPS: On second thought, maybe just Folken...*cringes*
========================================
Dear Akai:
Oh yes. Dilandau's downright cheerful now.. Which is quite odd. Today, he
and whatshisname learned the correct way to fry bacon, and yesterday
Dilandau learned about the snake venom which doubles as nitro glycerin..
Poor camels!! Some people can be so incredibly pigheaded it's not even
funny, right? And.. I doubt you'll get to Cairo on camels anytime soon.
Then again I don't have a map with me.
Yes!! Dilandau seems happy to send you any animal, especially that snake.
Just tell me what you want and as soon as we get back to Sydney or Brisbane
or Perth we'll send it to you.
Veggie? Short with funny hair? Hmm.. I wonder if i've ever heard of him
before myself..
Bj
PS: Ouch. Better use some cream on them.
PPS: I called Folken, and he's coming over here. Only problem is that the
people at Foreign Affairs don't recognize where Fanelia or Zaibach are.
Buncha idjits..
PPPS: Or maybe it's just the fact that he's surrounded by like 15 guards and
they're nervous of him. Who knows.
==========================================
Dear BJ:
Holy shi!t ! We made it to Cairo!
I'm alone in my room again. Trigger left to propose to that proper lady (no more! no mooooooree!!), and Jonathan's downstairs gambling away and getting drunk. *sigh* He'll start talking about walking, talking corpses again...
Anyway, I'd really love a dingo and/or that snake! Is it biiiiiiiiig? *evil grin*
Veggie is short. Funny hair. With a tail. How weird is that?????
Anyway, now that I'm here, I've got to leave, right? I don't know... There must be a few more places to dig around here! But I may come home for a visit soon.
Anyway, I've got to go; I can hear glasses shattering downstairs...
Bye,
Akai Ku
Egypt, Africa
Fort Cairo, Holed Up In Her Little Room
1926
PS: Send the dingo and/or snake to:
Miss Akai Ku
Fort Cairo Hotel, Cairo (room 2A)
Egypt, Africa
PPS: Kuso! There's no burn lotion in 1926!!
PPPS: It'll be great for Dilandau to have another friend! Even if he IS creepy....
