Inner Demons
Chapter One
By Crow Skywalker and Elora
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Disclaimer – We don't own Daisuke..we're just screwing around with his mind :P As for the rest of the characters, we don't own them either! XD In fact, we don't own Digimon...or any anime in that matter.
Author's Notes
Crow – Mmkay, I'll start off by saying this fic isn't for little kiddies..at all. We plan to have some major stuff in here which already includes suicidal issues. Its also going to contain some weird pairings...which won't be revealed until later on ;P Can't spoil it for you. Anyway, it will also contain shonen-ai [Boy love]...so I have to warn you now before you get hooked on it x_x Also, we're going chapter by chapter...so I'll do a chapter, she'll do a chapter..with each other's advice, editing and proof reading of course ^^
Elora - n/a at the moment ^^;
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I never thought of myself as much of a person. I think of myself as a walking object, something that can be pushed around to do one's bidding. That's how I feel; how I've always felt. It's hard to believe that I, Daisuke Motimiya, am the leader of the Digidestined, a group of people and Digimon who have been chosen from past experiences to save the world. Who would have guessed? Definitely something to lighten up my already dull life. Yet another secret that I have to keep from my family. Too bad they don't care.
Ah, yes, my family. Can you even call that a family? My family isn't like everyone else's. My parents are hardly home, and when they are, I'm a nobody. The only reason I can tell that they know that I'm alive is that they spend loads of money on my tutor, who doesn't even do his job right. He's in for the money, nothing else. Next to my parents, there's my sister Jun. She may be my sister, but it sure doesn't feel like it. We spend hours bickering over nothing. She always starts a fight when it comes to her cooking supper every afternoon, so I either end up without supper or I have to cook it myself. Not that I'm complaining, I've learned to cook a pretty decent meal for myself. So I guess that you can say I'm by myself in this life.
Friends? Heheh...that's a good one. Don't make me laugh. I don't know the meaning of friendship. Never have, never will. How can I call them friends? I'm certainly the last on their list. There's Takeru, the almighty cool guy, who has girls swooning just to meet him. Oh course Hikari, whom I've had a crush on as long as I can remember, has him wrapped around her little finger. Then again, she wears most guys as wrings, I only happen to be one of them. But I can't hate her for that. Nothing she'd do would hurt me. I blame it all on Takeru. If it weren't for him, I'd have a better chance with her, I know it! But then again, I shouldn't get my hopes up. Let's see who's next on the list of so called friends. Miyako. Hmm..well, we could all see this coming. I know that she's outgoing and she can't help the way she is, but it really gets to me sometimes. She acts before she thinks. Then there's always how she sticks up for Hikari or Takeru, and joins in on the bashing when it starts. The things she says hurt me – a lot. Then there's poor little innocent Iori. I can't really say much about him, just that he creeps me out. He's a bit too quiet for my liking, and even so, he sits back and watches as they insult me. And Ken, well, I can't really say much about him either. He's an okay guy I guess, but then again, they all started out okay...
I had been the first to forgive Ken. The others all thought it was all a bad idea, but I didn't care. It didn't bother me that he was once the Digimon Kaizer. He had suffered for it, and paid the toll. He had lost his best friend, the only friend he probably ever had. He had been alone most of his life, just like I had, and I knew what he was feeling. I knew that at this time, what he really needed was a friend, someone to be there for him. Even now he's so distant. I know that the others haven't totally forgiven him, Iori has even made this clear, but I know deep down inside he still hurts. He's human – just like me, and he feels emotion and pain just like me. I guess that you can say, in a way, we have a lot in common. But we still have our differences.
I'd like to say that Ken sticks up for me too, but he doesn't. He's oddly quiet around me, like he's treading on egg shells. Sometimes I just don't get him. He sometimes reminds me of Iori, the quiet thoughts. He keeps everything inside. I guess that that's something else that we have in common. I keep almost everything to myself. My dreams, my hopes, my thoughts...how I dream, hope and think of dying and leaving this miserable world.
Yes, I, Daisuke Motimiya, think about death. Doesn't everyone? I guess not in the same way that I do. I sometime wonder what it would be like to leave this awful place and it's people behind. But then I see Chibimon, so bouncy and happy, and I know that I have to stay. What would happen to him if I left? Who would take care of him? Feed him? I know that he's a bottomless pit when it comes to food. Would they even care to feed him when I was gone? Or would they leave him to starve? Either way, I couldn't leave the small blue bundle. I couldn't bring the heartache and pain to him. We were connected, knowing what each other was feeling. I knew that Chibimon could tell that there was something wrong with me. I can't count the times that he looked up at me with those sad, mournful eyes, and asked me what was going through my mind. One could tell by the way that I was acting that something was up. But nobody cared to notice.
I stood, leaning my back against the wall next to the computer lab. I hadn't quiet collected myself enough to enter, so I was waiting for my mind to clear. Looking at my watch, I could see that I was already late for the little meeting of ours, which would end up with us going to the Digital World. From outside, I could hear the quiet whispers from the people inside. Miyako, Iori, Takeru and Hikari were already there. Ken was yet to come, if he was even going to show up today.
"Hikari, Daisuke's soooo annoying when he hits on you! I feel so bad for you!"
I held my breath, trying to listen in on what they were saying. Had I heard Miyako right? Were they really talking about me? By the sound of it, it wasn't in a good way. See what I mean about friends? Some friends they were. IT was more like enemies. Clearing my thoughts once again, I leaned in to listen.
"I know, he's so annoying...you think he'd get the message by now." Answered Hikari.
"It's pretty sad." Iori had started. "You'd think he was totally blind."
My mouth dropped. Even Iori was in on this? Quiet, creepy little Iori? The one who had such a "big heart"? I must be really bad if Iori is talking bad about me...maybe they're all right. I'm a nuisance, which they don't want around.
"My poor Hikari-chan, I'll protect you from Daisuke."
My gaze turned to Takeru, who had his arm around Hikari and their faces were close – very close. In fact, it looked like they were about to kiss. My mouth dropped even further open in shock. How could she do this to me? Deep down, I knew that she would never be mine, she belonged to Takeru, but seeing it with my own eyes was devastating. I had been played for a fool and didn't even realize it. My mouth closed and I felt myself biting my lip.
"Oh, my brave hero! Save me from the Oblivious Daisuke!" Giggled Hikari dramatically, pulling Takeru closer.
I felt the taste of blood. The warm, metallic taste seeped into my mouth from where I had bitten my lip too hard. The taste was soothing, almost as soothing as cutting my wrists. Daisuke, a cutter? Hell yeah. I've done so since I can't remember. If you grew up with no one your whole life, you'd have some serious problems too. Of course, as I've already said, I'd never hurt myself to the point of dying. I can't leave poor Chibimon.
I sighed, and continued to listen. They had already changed the subject, knowing that I would soon turn up. Should I go in now or maybe wait a few minutes? If I went in now, they might think that I heard them. But then again, they probably wouldn't even notice me enter...
I guess that I was so caught up in my own thought that I hadn't noticed someone come up behind me. I practically jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Eyes wide, I spun around to come face to face with Ken.
"Why aren't you inside?" He asked, his hand falling back to his side. In the other arm, he held Minomon, who was looking up at the scene in front of him.
"I was uhh.." I stumbled for an answer, then found it. Quickly taking off my backpack, I reached in and took out a sleeping Chibimon. "Just getting Chibimon before I went in!"
Did he buy it? I don't think so. He still had this curious look in his eyes, mixed with worry. Worried? About me? Don't make me laugh. He's probably worried because Chibimon is my Digimon...and without Chibimon, there would be one less jogress Digimon. Yeah, that was it.
He eyed me as I picked up my backpack and swung it over the opposite shoulder that a sleepy Chibimon was now perched on. For some reason I got the feeling that he could see right through the lies I was telling everyone. I shook that thought. We may have a lot in common, but he certainly doesn't care about me.
Turning from his gaze, I pushed open the door the rest of the way and stepped into the room. Just as I thought, they didn't even look up. But as Ken stepped in behind me, I could hear Miyako gasp and lunge for him.
"Ken-chan!" She squealed, glomping on to his arm and smiling brightly. "What took you so long?" She narrowed her eyes at me. "Did Daisuke make you late?"
Her accusations didn't bother me. I was used to it. I just shrugged it off, like I hadn't heard a thing she said and sat down on a computer desk. Chibimon nudged me lovingly, trying to tell me that there was at least one person on my side. I reached up and pet his head, letting him know that I got the message.
"Actually, my mom insisted on driving me...and of course, she was late getting here." Ken spoke up, looking over at Daisuke.
"Great! Now that you're here, we can get to the Digital World! We wouldn't leave without you y'know.." She grinned, pulling Ken across the room.
Yeah...they wouldn't go without Ken, but what about me? They'd really leave me behind? But then again, to them, I wasn't alive. Why would they wait for someone who meant nothing to them anyway? Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't of come after all. Never been born at all. I can only wish.
Y'know..maybe if I stuck to the real world I might have noticed what was going on around me. I soon found myself alone in the computer room, the others gone without me. I didn't expect any less. Sighing, I slid off the table and made my way towards the computer. I watched it blink and flash for a moment, until I felt Chibimon shift on my shoulder.
"Are you going to be okay, Daisuke?" He asked softly.
I nodded. "I'm used to it."
He didn't take it any further, knowing that I was right. He had seen first hand the things my so-called "friends" and "family" have done to me. He knew most of my inner secrets too. I trust that he'll never tell, and I know that he won't. Most of the time he gets the same treatment as me, being my Digimon and all. I can't help but pity the small Digimon. Why did he get stuck with a loser like me? Why couldn't he have gotten a brave, intelligent...*anything* better than me. Maybe then he wouldn't have to join me in this hard life.
I felt a poke in the head and couldn't help but smile. He always knew when I had something going through my mind, and was always there to help me snap out of it.
"Are we going or not?" He asked, a curious look in his eye.
I hesitated, taking my D-3 out of my pocket. Was it really worth going? Its not like they needed me or anything. They wouldn't even notice if I were there or not.
I decided it was best if I went. If they needed backup, I'd always be there, right?
Holding out my D-3 to the computer, I felt the same strange sensation come over me. But before I got sucked in, I felt something else. A small amount of dread in the pit of my stomach. Dread? Of being with the others? Or something more? What did it mean? Little did I know that I would not be returning to Earth as the old Daisuke, but a something totally evil.
Tsk tsk...what's going to happen to Dai? Is he really going to go evil? Who'll stop him? That's a secret that's going to be kept until the end...whenever that may be ^.~ Of course, reviews always help...a lot ^^;