Uncertain
Welcome to a very different story compared to what I'm uploading right now. It's a sadder story, so you have been warned. I know that the personalities of certain characters don't match with what you saw in the kids show, but try to enjoy it anyway.
The writing style I adopted is very different too (There is no general pov, only the protagonist's first-person pov).
The main character also talks to himself sometimes, just to clarify and avoid confusion. Now you can start reading :).
Chapter 1
"Gil's bedroom"
It's been so long since I knew her. We played together, as little children, went to each other's houses. Now we are older, in the present, years later, developing ourselves as teenagers, developing more complex and critical views on the world, developing opinions, behaviours and… feelings. Molly and I, every night in bed I think about that possibility… But I didn't find the courage to tell her. On the other hand, I suppressed my feelings for far too long, and I'm about to explode. I need a concrete plan and strategy.
But how then? I'm here, laying on my bed, looking in the dark, thinking… I need a plan, but… I want to be sure what she thinks of me before I tell her, I like her, because I don't want to get rejected, don't feel ashamed…
But how then? Asking her straight? Never! It must be… unseen. I should, really maybe should… ask help from my friends. They can be trusted, they can do it for me, they will support me, they are… friends. I must tell them I like her, and ask for help…
But how then? Maybe they will tell Molly, and everything will be cancelled. Maybe they, Goby or Nonny, are in love with Molly too? No! They are friends! I must trust them, I can trust them. I have to get rid of this 'doubting everything mentality' I have since… I can't remember.
Okay so the plan is, I will talk about it, after school, with Deema and Oona, they are Molly's closest friends, they might know… But if they don't… I don't know. Ask for help? They could get the information more easily than me, yes, that's the idea. We will do that! Tomorrow!
"The next day at school"
I need to get them away from Molly, ask them if we can talk after school, and then execute the final step for today's plan. Let's wait…
"Hey Gil, how are you doing?" Goby said, standing behind me. Nonny was there too.
"Hi guys." I responded normally. "I'm good, thanks."
We talked a little more while moving to class after the bell rang. I forgot they existed, too. Should I tell them too? Maybe… I'll see later, focus on the priorities now Gil, don't get distracted.
"In the classroom"
Mr grouper entered the class and greeted everyone. Then he took his instructions for the day.
"Today you'll work in groups to prepare a presentation. So let's see… group 1, Gil, Deema and Oona. Group 2…"
I can call myself lucky, even though I often feel the victim of unluckiness, coincidences that ruin a plan I have or something else. It's probably me that convinced myself that that is the truth. Ahh, stop thinking… talking to yourself… I don't know. Just stop doing that thing in your head where you… just stop getting distracted by your inner you. Time to move.
"What do we start with?" Oona asked. Deema was thinking. My chance. I was collecting the words I would say and trying to stay cold-blooded, like what I was going to ask was something completely innocent.
"Girls…" I said. They looked at me. I looked down for a second while putting my fingertips against each other with my elbows on the table. No way back Gil, go for it.
"I gotta tell both of you something important… After school preferably… And nobody needs to know about it…" They looked confused, then at each other, then back to me.
"Sure Gil, I hope everything is alright, you look dead dead serious. Let's say at the playground, 2 streets from the school?" Deema said. I nodded as confirmation.
Dead dead serious? Maybe I was. Focussing so hard on being cold-blooded. And it's normal that they say that, I'm never serious in their eyes, but they don't know that side of me…
"later that day on 'the' playground"
I left school quickly, I was waiting on my friends. Standing next to the swing, no Gil, you're too old for that. I walked around the grass field, looking at the sky, the leaves of the trees slowly moving because of that pleasant spring wind. I smiled. Nature is calming me down, if I feel bad, I go for a walk around places with nature. I stopped daydreaming when I saw Deema and Oona in my eye corner.
"Hi." They said and "Hi." Did I say back? No. I was still staring at the leaves, then at them. The moment of truth is now Gil, go straight to the point, deliver yourself from this uncertainty that rips and tears you once and for all. It's been long enough, that you don't care if it's a yes or a no.
"Uh Gil? Everything alright?"
"Gil?"
"Gil?"
Stop think-talking and respond you idiot.
"Hhh sorry, I was… not focussed." I said.
"Anyways, what do you wanna tell us?" Deema asked.
"You told anybody?" I asked. "No" was the response. "Did anybody follow you?", again a "no".
"Did… Was… sigh."
God damnit Gil! They are friends! Trust them for once, you sceptical paranoic fuck!
"Are you really sure everything's alright?" Oona asked.
"Yes… Yes. Sorry, I'm… It's the importance of my questions… life-changing, future-determination, I… What am I doing…"
"I think you should tell us what's wrong Gil." Oona said. I nodded.
"I don't know where to begin. With the most important then. You guys are close friends of Molly and… I like her. No, I love her, really much. You are my friends too, and I can trust friends right? So I was thinking, maybe you could help me, by asking information, what she thinks of me and such. I'm very shy and don't want to undergo public humiliation or rejection. I want to be sure, sure sure sure. Voila, all has been said."
You did a great job there Gil.
"To be honest I saw this coming, what other subject would it be? And I had my suspicions. Of course we'll help you. We'll ask Molly smooth questions to get information about you. It's weird we never really talked about that isn't it? Anyways, we understand your cautiousness." Deema explained.
"I don't want to break the harmony between us 6 by behaving, egocentrically. Everything could fall apart if it fails, and it will be my fault." I said.
"You can't choose who you fall in love on Gil, you aren't egocentric." Oona added. That recomforted me a bit. Even made me smile in these uncertain times I have been in for far too long. But today I found the courage to talk, this is the first step, I never got this far. It's time to explore this unknown world.
"Are we the only ones that know about this?" Deema asked.
The boys, of course, they exist too. "For now yeah… Should I tell Nonny and Goby?" I asked directly.
"I think you should. They are your friends too, they merit to know it." Deema said.
"Alright then, I'll tell them tomorrow." I said.
"We'll all go home now. We will be your wingwomen in the process. Bye." And they left after a hug, a friendly one.
"Gils bedroom again"
Finally. I started the operation. I'm going to need you more than ever now Gil, now I've got time to think-talk. I told somebody, 2 somebodies and tomorrow they will be 4, my biggest secret. I know. They know. I know they know. They know I know. But what if… I don't know someone knows that they know, and thus that I know? Was it a good idea? Sigh… I don't know, there's no way back so… I ask myself too many questions. Let's sleep now.
Goodnight Gil.