Standard Disclaimer: I keep forgetting to put these in here. Xenogears characters and settings belong to Squaresoft. Of course.
Part 5: Shadows and Light
The next morning, Bart had not yet awoken when he was gathered up and moved onto the Yggridsil, placed in the bed of his old room while Sigurd prepared the ship to return to Aveh. Billy, with his things gathered, bid farewell to Margie, promising to return to Nisan soon to help her with such a demanding position. Since his faith in the Ethos had been shattered, she and his own father had aided him in figuring out his beliefs and feelings, finding in the end that even of the Ethos had used religion to control the masses, it didn't mean that God didn't exist somewhere out there. It took a lot of thought, introspection and redesigning of his beliefs, but in the end he felt he'd kept his faith, exchanging the dogma taught to him for something far more forgiving. Oh he was a long way from finding stability, Bishop Stone killed a large part of his innocence with his cruel words and horrible truths, but he was healing. It was something as opposed to nothing.
While the crew prepared for lift off, Billy placed his things in the common room and headed for the library. As he hoped, Maison was standing behind the counter, occupying himself with a book and a cup of tea. Looking up, he adjusted his spectacles and smiled. "Good morning, Master Billy. How are you?"
"A little tired, Maison. Everyone was up awful early," Billy replied, sitting opposite the old knight and peering at the cover of the book. "What's that?"
"Oh nothing," was said as the book was set aside, under the counter. Though it made the former Etone wonder, he didn't question it. He'd just wait till later, and look at it when Maison got up for something.
"I hear the Young Master is still sleeping. It's very odd what's occurring to him. I do hope this is the last of such nastiness," the old knight continued on, offering a cup of tea to Billy with a gesture.
"Maybe he just needs the rest. Citan said he was exhausted," Billy replied, accepted the cup of tea pushed his way and sipping it cautiously to check for heat. Finding it the right temperature, he took a longer drink of it. Maison nodded, then checked the teapot with a frown.
"Hmm, it appears I need to brew some more tea. If you'll excuse me, Master Billy. I'll return shortly."
Billy merely nodded, looking over his shoulder as the old knight departed with the now empty teapot. As soon as he cleared the exit, the door hissing shut again, he crept around the counter and picked up the book to get a look at it. The cover was a soft pink color, a paperback of some sort, and the spine was creased repeatedly, suggested the book had been read many times before. Cracking it open, he couldn't help but chuckle. Maison, it seemed, liked romance novels.
"Don't let Maison catch you looking at that. He'll turn three shades of pink."
Billy looked up sharply, startled by the voice, and nearly dropped the book in the process. Bart had just cleared the spiral staircase, pausing at the top of it to catch his breath. "Whew. Been asleep all this time and I get winded just climbing the stairs? Shit."
"You should be resting, Bart," Billy admonished, replacing the book where he'd found it. "And Kings don't cuss like pirates, or had you forgotten?"
Bart frowned, "Why the hell did you come along, Billy, if all you're going to do is stand there and insult me? God, here I was thinking maybe you had a change of heart or something and was... gee, concerned. I get that shit from Sigurd and Maison, if I wanted it from another source, I'd have called on you earlier."
To Bart's surprise, the former Etone lowered his eyes, clearing his throat before apologizing, "Sorry... I guess I just... Well, you should be resting, I'm not wrong about that."
"Fuck that," Bart replied, heading over to sit in front of the counter, since Billy was still standing on the other side. "I've had enough sleep. You wanna be like Sigurd and drag me back and tie me down?" It was a joke, but to his surprise, Billy actually blushed. "Uh... Sorry, there goes my mouth again." Grabbing the cup that had actually been Billy's originally, he took a drink of it without even bothering to ask. The Etone didn't even bother protesting it. Bart was Bart and there wasn't going to be any civilizing him, no matter how much his brother and the old knight tried to.
"That's always been your biggest problem, your mouth," Billy retorted, leaning against the counter as the king claimed the cup that had originally been his.
"Yeah, and your prissiness and holier than thou attitude has always been yours. Shit, Billy, if you're in love with my betrothed, just say so. If that's the reason why you're being an ass to me."
Without even thinking about it, Billy glared at Bart and replied, "I'm in love with you. That's why I'm being such an ass to you."
The cup has just been lifted to Bart's lips again, starting to take a drink when those words came tumbling out of Billy's mouth. It took him just a second for an understanding to register and then he nearly choked on the tea, lowering the cup as he sputtered out half of what he had in his mouth and started coughing and choking on the rest. Being close enough to this, Billy received an unexpected shower.
Wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand, all Bart could do was stare, that one blue eye wide. Billy didn't just say that. He couldn't have. "This must be some kind of joke, right? Ha ha, Billy. Fuck." The cup was put down and he reached for one of the paper napkins off to the side, tossing a couple to Billy while he wiped up the spilled tea left on the counter. Maison would pitch a fit if they left a mess behind.
Taking the napkins and wiping away the spritz of tea that Bart so graciously left on him, Billy just sighed, "Yeah, Bart a joke. Just a big fat joke."
That just left the two to stare at one another in awkward silence. Billy could have kicked himself in that moment, if he could have taken that one foolish moment back. Part of him wanted to admit this to Bart a long time ago, but it took being goaded into it to finally come clean about his feelings and now, the way that the other teen looked at him, he had the feeling he was about to be rejected, hard.
The door opened then, saving either teen from confronting the issue just yet. Sigurd wandered in, glancing about before locking his gaze on Bart and frowning slightly. "There you are, they told me you'd woken up finally. Are you sure you should be out of bed?"
Bart groaned but got up from his seat, "Fine, fine, I'll go lounge around in bed and be bored to death if it'll get all you mother hens to fucking leave me alone."
Sigurd waited until his brother attempted to brush past and then grabbed for his arm, looking at him pointedly, "Bart, you scared us all last night. We only want to make sure you're all right. But, you surely are, if you're back to your surly self."
There was the initial urge to retort with another sarcastic comment, but the look on his brother's face, coupled with the slight tingling of worry he felt flowing from the taller man gave him pause and his features sobered significantly. "Yeah, Sig. I'm all right. Little tired still, but I'm all right. Ok?"
Letting go of his arm, Sigurd nodded, finally satisfied. "Good. Just... take it easy, all right?"
"Sure thing, I always take it easy." Back came that infectious grin and he saluted his brother with two fingers off his forehead before continuing out the door. Billy he didn't even glance at on the way out.
Sigurd shook his head as soon as the door closed again. Turning, he was about to comment to Billy when he noticed the sickened look on the youth's face. "Billy, are you all right? Did Bart say something?"
Billy could only shake his head, sitting down again shakily. To him, it felt as if his entire world were now falling apart at the seams. He always knew there was a possibility of being rejected, but now that it stared him in the face, the reality was that much scarier. Sigurd, sensing this from the former Etone, approached only to rest a reassuring hand against his shoulder. "Tell me about it, Billy. You know I would never repeat it to anyone."
Looking up, Billy saw nothing but total acceptance and understanding from the silver haired man standing next to him. All sense of reluctance drained out of him and for the first time, he found himself completely able to pour his heart out to someone else.
The Yggridsil returned to Aveh sometime near nightfall. Billy gathered his things and looked around to see if he could spot Bart amongst those disembarking. After his conversation with Sigurd, he felt a lot better, but that lump in his throat just wouldn't go away, no matter how much he swallowed. It wouldn't until he confronted the King of Aveh, Sigurd even said as much and offered to speak with Bart. Billy quickly turned the offer down. He had to do this on his own. And if Bart decided he wanted nothing more to do with the former Etone, there wasn't much he could do about it nor was Sigurd going to convince him otherwise.
Seeing that golden head of hair in the distance, he held back and merely watched as Bart spoke briefly with Maison and Sigurd and then departed back into the palace. He sighed and then pushed away from the wall, brushing past Sigurd on his own way out. Part of him regretted coming to Aveh now. There were few here that new knew and he couldn't hang on Sigurd all the time for companionship. He had the sinking feeling his time in Aveh was likely to be miserable.
"Hey, Billy," Sigurd called, reaching out to grasp the youth's shoulder and stop him for a moment and give him a reassuring smile. "Tomorrow, join us for breakfast."
"Thank you," Billy said, feeling both relaxed and nervous at the same time. That Sigurd understood and even encouraged him felt good. But, breakfast tomorrow would be awkward, if Bart were still apt to ignore his presence.
"If you would follow me, Master Billy, I will show you to a guest room," the old knight then offered, and even if Billy were going to protest it, began to disembark, expecting the youth to follow him. He was lead up to the third floor, a set of lavishly decorated rooms that made the former Etone boggle. He'd never stayed in anything quite so posh before.
"Here? But, Maison..."
"No buts, Master Billy. You are a guest of the King. Of course your accommodations will reflect such. The royal suite is in the opposite tower, if you should wish to pay a visit to His Majesty." And before any further protests could be lodged, the old knight closed the double doors behind him, leaving Billy to stand there in the vastness of those huge, almost gawdy rooms.
Sighing, he sat on the edge of the huge four poster bed, dropping his pack to the soft carpeting below. Sure, he'd go and visit Bart. If only he weren't sure he'd be tossed out immediately. "Well Billy, looks like it's your mouth that got you into trouble this time."
There was no sleeping for Billy that night. Each time he laid down, the bed felt awkward. He'd gotten used to his bed back in Nisan, which was not quite as soft as this one. That and every time he closed his eyes he saw that look Bart gave him after he admitted his feelings to him. Eventually, he just got up and threw on a shirt as well as a pair of sweats and after making sure no one else was about, padded out of his rooms to find the balconied corridors outside. There were guards stationed here and there, but the majority of them looked sleepy to be up this late and he spotted more than one having dozed off at his post. Though it made him chuckle, he didn't bother waking any of them. It was far easier to walk past with more of a feeling of privacy.
Above shone a gibbous moon, pregnant with lunar beauty, shedding a pale glow across the gardens below and making the waters of the fountain and surrounding ponds shine like liquid silver. Billy felt a lull coming over him as he leaned over the banister, resting his chin in the palm of one hand. This was the sort of thing he could get used to, the beauty of the desert palace. At first he had found it hot and sticky and barbaric compared to the pristine cleanliness and sterile anti-diversity of the Ethos headquarters. In time, its mysterious beauty, and the infectious charm of its future King, captivated him. Billy fell in love with Aveh almost as quickly as he fell in love with Bart.
So peaceful was it, that he nearly fell asleep right there, nodding off so that his chin slide right out of his palm, waking him up rather suddenly. He blinked, shook his head and glanced around in time to see a shadow racing across the corridor opposite where he stood. A guard? He wasn't sure, as the figure wasn't walking, it was running. Whoever it was had long hair, as it streamed behind the so for unidentified individual. Pushing away from the railing, Billy moved to intercept the figure as the shadow turned and began racing closer. He could hear the sound of heavy breathing, the pound of bare feet against the stone floor, but it wasn't until a sliver of moonlight shone against sungold hair that he realized who it was.
"Bart?" he called, but the figure paused and stared at him in the moonlit darkness as if he were unable to recognize the other teen. "Bart... where are you going?"
"My father is calling me. I have to go to him."
"Shit," Billy cursed for the first time he could remember. Positioning himself in the center of the walkway, he held his arms out to catch the king if he tried to slip past him. "Bart, your father is dead. We buried him... you can't go to him."
"Can't you hear him? I have to go to him," came the desperate reply and then he did try to break past Billy on the right. The former Etone grabbed the taller youth's arm and refused to let go, digging his heels in against the stone and swinging at the same time to break Bart's momentum and hopefully knock him off balance. The ploy worked and Bart swung around, knocked up against the railing, expelling air in the process. Billy winced, not having meant to hurt Bart, but it did seem to work. The king didn't try to move again, sinking to the floor of the walkway.
"Does Sigurd know you're out here?" No reply to that, which answered his question anyway. Sighing, he crouched down in front of Bart, touching his hair with a shakey hand. He'd longed to run his fingers through that sungold hair, feel it trickle past his palm like rain. But this was another situation altogether, and he didn't have the right to take advantage of the other while in this discombobulated state. "Come on, let's get you back to your room."
Looping Bart's arm over his shoulders, he helped him back to his feet and walked him back to the huge rooms of the royal apartments. Bart merely sank back into his bed, asleep probably before his head even hit the pillow. Billy sat on the edge of the bed, watching over the king with a solicitous gaze. Sigurd would need to be informed in the morning, for what Billy observed thus far convinced him that these summonings only occurred in the dead of the night. From now on, it would be wise to leave a guardian with him to make sure he couldn't run off again. Of course, there was the concern of who or what actually caused them in the first place, but at least this would be a temporary fix to the problem. For this night, he volunteered himself, grabbing one of the huge plush chairs from near the fire place and setting it next to the king's bed. He fully intended to stay awake and keep watch over Bart till morning.
But, even with the best of intentions, he fell asleep an hour later.
(To be continued...)