The insane emails between Ms. Lecter and maya. We have been sending each other strange emails pretending that the wonderus Hannibal is living with ms. Lecter and that maya is recieving emails. It's all false, but incredibly funny. Oh and we all hate our Modern Language teachers so thats why we pretend to kill them. Please review!
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From: Ms.Lecter
To: maya
Subject: I've had an accident....
HELP! I'm on the run from the law. I got quite pissed off with my frenchteacher and um, well kinda killed her slowly and painfully with a harpy and ate her liver with some fava beans and a big amarone. (Check the SOTL book,it's not chianti it's amarone) Any I left a piece of incriminating evidence at the scene and forgot to remove it: There is a large piece of paper stuckto the wall that says in 'IN YOUR FACE MRS.WHITTEL. SEE YOU IN HELL-MS LECTER, 11 H' I was feeling quite smug at the time and justwanted people to know how pleased I was with myself. Tell me honestly, willI get caught? If the police ask you DON'T know me, got that, DON'T know meat all. Never heard of me. Ever! OK? Anyway I thinkI hear sirens so I'll be off. See you around my little darkling, (yes that's the right spelling)
TA TA,
L
Oh and by the way senator just the one more thing (sorry cannot--stop--quoting-- hannibal--): Mr.McShreffry (Spelling?) is tied up in his language
class, sedated (for now) and waiting for you to do some serious damage. Havefun!
*~*~*~*
From : maya
To : Ms.Lecter
Subject : Re: I've had an accident....
Hello ms. Lecter
One assumes that the Law will not be pleased with your recent spait ofmurders over the country of teachers. Yet once they have thoroughly investgated the crimes to the best of their ability (which, lets face it,isn't much) and have called in the best from around the world (one assumes Miss Starling is unavailable, after the little 'accident'), they will not doubt understand that this isn't simply the work of a derranged girl and her Cannibalistic acommplice, but the world of a Freedom Fighter. A fighter,fighting for the oppressed children of Great Britain and setting them free from the ruthlessness of the Governments national curriculumn.
They will not do anything or the evilness you are imagining, on the contrary my dear, they will present you with a medal for bravery and for congratulateyou for your efforts for humanity. Well done, the World WILL thank you!
I shall profess not to have had an aquaintance with you, if it is what youwant, but i assur you that once the news gets out about your heroic effort to help the Nation, you will be a heroine and the World will be glad that they knew you.
So I bid you farewell, as it seems you may be going on the run for a while-if only to help out the world more by adding to Dr Lecter's dinnerplate.
Good luck
m
*~*~*~*
From: Ms.Lecter
To: maya
Subject: to the Avid fan...
Dear Avid Fan (I hope you don't mind me calling you that)
Regarding your most invaluable advice about my rather bloody predicament, thankyou it was most helpful. Now I can see the error of my ways: I am doing the nation a favour (If not just doing the good Dr.)by eradicating the entire population of modern Language *shudder* teachers. Their fate was
sealed from the moment they enrolled on their teaching course. We, as more intelligent beings, do not need some degree that tells the world how clever we indeed are. No, we were educated at the school of life. Which is, let's face it, is more fucking interesting. Pardon the language my dear, I do belive you have a certain feeling of contempt for the word 'fuck' and much prefer the word 'plough'. The Dr. himself also hates that steak of vulgarity within me and agrees most wholeheartedly with your choice of wording. Infact he thinks you should actually be ruler of the world. I quite agree, you'd be good at that. Anyway, time is running short ad there is a S.W.A.T team surrounding our hideout. I think are cover may just have been blown. Nothing to do with the loud banging noises that were coming from the house at night. Banging, ofcourse meaning us , umm, lets see, ah yes, putting up a picture in the bedroom. Yes, all above board of course. No tomfoolery here.Oh I think I have just been shot by a Swatofficernohelpmewhygodwhynooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*~*~*~*
From: maya
To: Ms.Lecter
Subject: to the Avid fan...
To my dearest idol
i am glad to hear that my adice has fallen apon the ears of two of the most wise people whom ever graced this lowly planet. It would be of Historical legendary if you eradicated the entire population of modern language teachers. One assumes that the best language is English, followed by Italien(t'would be useful if one was in Rome) and possibly French (for the wine drinkers), yet there are translators and most of population of the countires speak English anyway. So the need to learn any modern laguage other than English is a waste of ones precious time. I do indded prefer the word plough, it is simply a more elegant word, and Dr. Lecter is right, the other version is rather vulgar. Please forward my thanks to the good sir, for his most wonderus idea about being the ruler of the world, one is most pleased and shall strive endlessly to make Dr. Lecter happy- but not in the way you do. Those pictures of you and the dear dr. Lecter must be rather difficult to put up, i understand as i know how shoddy workmanship is getting these days. I was rather distressed to read the last part of your email, but then once i had read the morning papers i was most glad to hear that you had escaped and because of it i have included a short extract from 'the enquirer'...
"Today saw the attempt at capturing two of the most Dangerous characters the world has ever seen. Forget Posh and Becks, Charles and Di, Justin and Britney; the most famous couple of this decade
will surely be Dr. Lecter and Ms. Lecter. Their spait of murders, has been called the most evil crime on the planet a few people of the world, but there are a majority who have agreed that their quest to save the world from Modern language teachers is an act that surely means they should recieve world recognition."
There was more, but i feel it is rather unappropriate to include. But the article did inform me that you had gotten away from those evil swat teams with nothing more than a shot to the arm, which i am of the opinion Dr. Lecter must have removed. I was also glad to hear that you had taken the evil man away
with you and eaten his liver.
I look forward to hearing from you.
m
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Ms.Lecter
To: maya
Subject: I've had an accident....
HELP! I'm on the run from the law. I got quite pissed off with my frenchteacher and um, well kinda killed her slowly and painfully with a harpy and ate her liver with some fava beans and a big amarone. (Check the SOTL book,it's not chianti it's amarone) Any I left a piece of incriminating evidence at the scene and forgot to remove it: There is a large piece of paper stuckto the wall that says in 'IN YOUR FACE MRS.WHITTEL. SEE YOU IN HELL-MS LECTER, 11 H' I was feeling quite smug at the time and justwanted people to know how pleased I was with myself. Tell me honestly, willI get caught? If the police ask you DON'T know me, got that, DON'T know meat all. Never heard of me. Ever! OK? Anyway I thinkI hear sirens so I'll be off. See you around my little darkling, (yes that's the right spelling)
TA TA,
L
Oh and by the way senator just the one more thing (sorry cannot--stop--quoting-- hannibal--): Mr.McShreffry (Spelling?) is tied up in his language
class, sedated (for now) and waiting for you to do some serious damage. Havefun!
*~*~*~*
From : maya
To : Ms.Lecter
Subject : Re: I've had an accident....
Hello ms. Lecter
One assumes that the Law will not be pleased with your recent spait ofmurders over the country of teachers. Yet once they have thoroughly investgated the crimes to the best of their ability (which, lets face it,isn't much) and have called in the best from around the world (one assumes Miss Starling is unavailable, after the little 'accident'), they will not doubt understand that this isn't simply the work of a derranged girl and her Cannibalistic acommplice, but the world of a Freedom Fighter. A fighter,fighting for the oppressed children of Great Britain and setting them free from the ruthlessness of the Governments national curriculumn.
They will not do anything or the evilness you are imagining, on the contrary my dear, they will present you with a medal for bravery and for congratulateyou for your efforts for humanity. Well done, the World WILL thank you!
I shall profess not to have had an aquaintance with you, if it is what youwant, but i assur you that once the news gets out about your heroic effort to help the Nation, you will be a heroine and the World will be glad that they knew you.
So I bid you farewell, as it seems you may be going on the run for a while-if only to help out the world more by adding to Dr Lecter's dinnerplate.
Good luck
m
*~*~*~*
From: Ms.Lecter
To: maya
Subject: to the Avid fan...
Dear Avid Fan (I hope you don't mind me calling you that)
Regarding your most invaluable advice about my rather bloody predicament, thankyou it was most helpful. Now I can see the error of my ways: I am doing the nation a favour (If not just doing the good Dr.)by eradicating the entire population of modern Language *shudder* teachers. Their fate was
sealed from the moment they enrolled on their teaching course. We, as more intelligent beings, do not need some degree that tells the world how clever we indeed are. No, we were educated at the school of life. Which is, let's face it, is more fucking interesting. Pardon the language my dear, I do belive you have a certain feeling of contempt for the word 'fuck' and much prefer the word 'plough'. The Dr. himself also hates that steak of vulgarity within me and agrees most wholeheartedly with your choice of wording. Infact he thinks you should actually be ruler of the world. I quite agree, you'd be good at that. Anyway, time is running short ad there is a S.W.A.T team surrounding our hideout. I think are cover may just have been blown. Nothing to do with the loud banging noises that were coming from the house at night. Banging, ofcourse meaning us , umm, lets see, ah yes, putting up a picture in the bedroom. Yes, all above board of course. No tomfoolery here.Oh I think I have just been shot by a Swatofficernohelpmewhygodwhynooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
*~*~*~*
From: maya
To: Ms.Lecter
Subject: to the Avid fan...
To my dearest idol
i am glad to hear that my adice has fallen apon the ears of two of the most wise people whom ever graced this lowly planet. It would be of Historical legendary if you eradicated the entire population of modern language teachers. One assumes that the best language is English, followed by Italien(t'would be useful if one was in Rome) and possibly French (for the wine drinkers), yet there are translators and most of population of the countires speak English anyway. So the need to learn any modern laguage other than English is a waste of ones precious time. I do indded prefer the word plough, it is simply a more elegant word, and Dr. Lecter is right, the other version is rather vulgar. Please forward my thanks to the good sir, for his most wonderus idea about being the ruler of the world, one is most pleased and shall strive endlessly to make Dr. Lecter happy- but not in the way you do. Those pictures of you and the dear dr. Lecter must be rather difficult to put up, i understand as i know how shoddy workmanship is getting these days. I was rather distressed to read the last part of your email, but then once i had read the morning papers i was most glad to hear that you had escaped and because of it i have included a short extract from 'the enquirer'...
"Today saw the attempt at capturing two of the most Dangerous characters the world has ever seen. Forget Posh and Becks, Charles and Di, Justin and Britney; the most famous couple of this decade
will surely be Dr. Lecter and Ms. Lecter. Their spait of murders, has been called the most evil crime on the planet a few people of the world, but there are a majority who have agreed that their quest to save the world from Modern language teachers is an act that surely means they should recieve world recognition."
There was more, but i feel it is rather unappropriate to include. But the article did inform me that you had gotten away from those evil swat teams with nothing more than a shot to the arm, which i am of the opinion Dr. Lecter must have removed. I was also glad to hear that you had taken the evil man away
with you and eaten his liver.
I look forward to hearing from you.
m