"…Why does no one want to play with me?"
A young boy with neck-length spiky black hair and an ahoge, despondently mutters to himself while walking in the quiet part of town. He looks down on the pavement as he tightens his grip on a figurine of Reimu Hakurei, a Touhou character that one can use to play in Touhou pocket wars.
"Reimu is supposed to be popular… So why does no want to play with me…?" The boy shifts his eyes to his figurine, then looks up to the clouds and buildings.
"Fine… I give up." He stops and turns to look at a nearby trash can then walks to it, "…Sorry," He glances at the figurine one more time before slowly hovering it above the trash can.
"This is the last breach Chen."
"Finally~ Chen can go sleep!"
The boy stops then turns to look at the alleyway where he heard the voices. He lowers his hand, still gripping his figurine, and looks in front of him then to the alleyway.
"…I'll just take a look." He nods before sneakily walking to the alleyway. He hides first then pops his head out to take a peek, only to see a girl of his height with neck-length brown hair that is partially covered by a green hat and an older woman with neck-length blonde hair that is partially covered by a light pink two-tailed hat in front of a space that looks like a mirror broken into pieces but suspended in the air.
"Woah…" The boy quietly mutters, though it was apparently loud enough to be heard.
Both of them turn around, not noticing a white energy leak out from the breach, "Show yourself!" The older woman says in a strict tone that makes him panic. He takes off running while cursing under his breath for being an idiot, though he doesn't notice the same energy entering his figurine.
"Eh? What is a youkai doing here?" The boy falls down as he sees the little girl right in front of his face out of nowhere, "Ran~ I think this one fell through the breach."
"No Chen, this one is a pure human, no matter how much his eyes resemble a certain youkai species."
"Ohhhh, so that means I can eat him?"
"No. We only came here to patch the breach, nothing else… Though, that being said, I wonder what to do with you?" The older woman, Ran, says as she looks down, staring right into the boy's eyes, who is shivering like a leaf while his pants start to show a different color.
"P-P-Please don't eat me!" He loudly pleads while looking around, only seeing an empty street with nobody else but them, "I don't taste good!"
"Bleh, Ran, he smells differently now."
"Chen. Be nice. Hmmmm… Well, I'll just knock him out and put him somewhere else." Ran nods before bringing her fist down on his head, prompting him to scream with his eyes closed.
The boy waits for the blow, yet he feels nothing, so he slowly opens his eyes to see his figurine standing in front of him with its hands raised.
"What?" Ran blinks before looking down to her slightly scorched hand, "Interesting…"
"Ran? How come Reimu got smaller and why is she here?" Chen asks while tilting her head.
"That isn't Reimu, just a copy of her that humans made."
Before Chen could respond, "What is the hold up you two?" A voice appears above them, making everybody look up.
The boy widens his eyes as he sees a familiar face coming out from a gap, "Yukari?!" He shouts.
"Hmmm? A human child? Oh, he seems to recognize me. Guess the ideas I gave to that human worked out too well. Maybe –"
"Ahem, Yukari, something unusual happened." Ran points at the figurine shifting its eyes on the duo and the woman in the sky, "A figurine of Reimu is moving on its own and hit me with a spell card."
"Oh? That's interesting." The gap closes and appears right above the figurine with a hand coming out to grab it.
The figurine waves its stick and a talisman appears then flies at the hand, though it leaves no traces of any effect on the hand, "Ow that tickles." The hand withdraws then the gap widens then closes, leaving behind a woman with long blonde hair that is partially covered by a pink mob cap with a thin red ribbon and smaller ribbons tied as accessories.
"Yo, brat. Was this your doing?" Yukari asks as she holds the figurine in her hand, prompting him to quickly shake his head, "Figures. Guess this means this thing is coming with us. Hope you won't be too hard broken or anything."
Yukari opens up a gap behind Ran and Chen for them while another gap behind her. As she was about to enter, she notices the figurine struggling in her arm while looking at the boy.
"Interesting, this figurine is trying to get back to you… Are you sure that you didn't do anything, boy?"
The boy again shakes his head but, in a moment of bravery, he shouts, "My name is Hachiman! Not boy!" Though this only makes her sigh, "Sure whatever, boy. Though this means we need to bring you to Gensokyo for testing… Don't worry, we guarantee that you'll be able to come back… If you survive."
Before Hachiman could protest, a gap appears under him that swallows him amidst the screams. Yukari chuckles a bit before disappearing in the gap, leaving behind a desolate street once again.
*A/N*
Urgh, probably not my best moment at writing since the sentence structure is all over the place... Anyway, A Hachiman x Touhou idea that I had in my head for a long time after reading a fic called "Dragon and Familiar" by lostkaineruMkII and "Monster of Logic" by Alxariam. Though, for this one, I'll be skipping the adventures of 8-man in Gensokyo and start at Sobu High, while putting his adventures as snippets, since I am feeling burnt out from writing. Oh yeah, 8-man will be very different compared to canon and in regards to harem, I actually have no clue to add so please suggest who gets to be with dear ol 8-man.