Next up on our list is the most beautiful woman in the world of Tenchi Muyo and other lands where she's drawn the same. No not Ryoko. No not Sasami you perverts. No not Kyione or Mihoshi! Alright who said Tokaimi?
AYEKA
Okay haha, the dead silence is a REAAAAAL laugh riot. Well she's my favorite character so deal.
[Interviewer conjures Ayeka]
Ayeka: Good evening, I understand your Tenchi's cousin?
[Smiles to himself at the lie Tenchi told in his favor]
Ayeka: The…gay one?
[Silently promises to rend Tenchi limb from limb in many fanfics]
Interviewer: Um no that's Tenchi's OTHER cousin. I'm quite straight.
[Ayeka nods]
Ayeka: Ah.
Interviewer: Your highness we have numerous questions here posted by those who wish to know more about you I'm supposed to ask you.
Ayeka: That sounds lovely, where shall we begin?
[Interviewer looks down at his interview questions then stares in horror]
Ayeka: Is something wrong?
[Staring at a dozen questions which roughly translated as "Whatever the Hell did Ryoko ever do to you, you mean spirited purple haired bitch?" with the occasional substitution of "Whatever the hell did Sasami ever do to you, you nasty cruel purple haired bitch?", he immediately grabbed the clipboard and tossed it in the fireplace]
Interviewer: Justsaythefirstthingthatcomesintoyourmind…..WILL YOU MARRY ME YOU PURPLE HAIRED GODDESS?
[Ayeka moves back shocked as the Interviewer slaps himself]
Interviewer: Um unless the answer is yes, please ignore that.
Ayeka: I suppose.
[Interviewer clears throat]
Interviewer: What attracts you to Tenchi Masaki?
Ayeka: Ah yes. I was expecting a loaded question like that to be coming. Tenchi you know warned me about you. I know all your tricks.
[Interviewer stares shocked wondering what exactly she considered loaded and what she would have done if he'd given even a Toonami edited style version of the questions he'd been given]
Ayeka: Well if you must so, which you don't but I will tell you in the interests of intergalactic peace. I admire Tenchi's nobility.
Interviewer: His blood?
[Interviewer desperately prays no or he's going to have to kidnap Tenchi for a transfusion]
Ayeka: Oh goodness gracious no. I admire his courage, strength of character, respect for tradition, love for his family, and his innate dignity.
[Interviewer does subtle swaying Happy dance because he's got all that]
Ayeka: Pardon me but do you need a doctor?
Interviewer: Oh no…no I'm fine. Joyous in fact.
[blushes and wonders how he's going to bluff his way through the next few questions]
Interviewer: So it's been…commented on that you have a….occasionally….mild sense of disc…dis…disagreement with Ryoko on ocassion?
Ayeka: Commented on? By who?
[Interviewer is terrified and thinks of who Is the least dangerous person to pin this one on]
Interviewer: Umm uh….WASHU!
Ayeka: Ah yes, of course.
[Interviewer stares, wondering how long it will take Washu to dissect him on a lab table for that one]
Ayeka: Yes unfortunately my relationship with THAT woman has occasionally left something to be desired. I've long since forgiven her for her attack on Jurai and the depriving me of my intended husband who languished for seven hundred years in exile on this backwater world because of his noble sacrifice to stop her…however she's very rude and I don't like that.
Interviewer: Errr didn't Yosho elect to stay here?
Ayeka: THAT'S A VICIOUS LIE AND WHOEVER IS SPREADING IT I WILL PERSONALLY REND LIMB FROM LIMB UNTIL THEIR BLOOD FLOWS OUT THEIR EARS!
[Interviewer knocks the coach backwards trying to get away from Ayeka's sudden outbust]
Interviewer: Uh right. My mistake.
[Interviewer sighs in deep deep love and terror, yes much terror]
Ayeka: Your forgiven my cousin and potential suitor. I assume large gifts to show your devotion to me will be arriving at my father's palace shortly.
[Interviewer nods vigorously as he reckons he can write something up and the lady of purple hair would kill him otherwise]
Interviewer: Now about your relationship with your sister Sasami?
Ayeka: Is this another one of your puissant questions about how I am less than amicable to those whose roof I share?
Interviewer: No! No! I'm just wondering however it is you maintain such a wonderful loving relationship to her.
[Ayeka's face visibly softens]
Ayeka: Ah well that I can answer. Sasami's loyalty to me is quite fierce and I would gladly go through the terrible tortures of Tokaimi rather than she her harmed in any way shape or form.
Interviewer: Umm then why did you take her on a seven hundred year mission to seek out your brother when she could have spent it…ummm playing?
Ayeka: Hahaha you silly boy.
[Interviewer waits for an answer and realizes one's not forthcoming but decides to forgive the purple haired one and move on]
Interviewer: If you become Emperess…I mean WHEN you become Emperess what will some changes be to the administration you intend to make?
Ayeka: Changes? Oh Oh I see what you mean. I intend to make Earth part of the Jurai empire.
Interviewer: You plan to conquer us?
Ayeka: I prefer the term annex but effectively supplant your culture completely with our own and interbreed to rejuvenate our weakened bloodlines. That sort of thing.
[Interviewer tries to get past the breed part to contact what last remnants of Earthly dignity he has]
Interviewer: That's…great! Can't wait.
[Interviewer realizes he has not very much apparently]
Ayeka: Your enthusiasm is most encouraging.
Interviewer: Okay for the final part of our interview we'd like you to say the first thing that pops in your head when I read off these names.
Ayeka: How very odd. Still it sounds fascinating.
Interviewer: Ayeka
Ayeka: Goddess.
Interviewer: Couldn't agree more. Mihoshi
Ayeka: Blonde
Interviewer: I wonder what the stereotype for purple hair is on Jurai.
[Ayeka whispers and the interview turns pale and blushes deeply]
Interviewer: Tenchi
Ayeka: Boytoy
[Interviewer is not surprised in the slightest]
Interviewer: Ryoko
[Ayeka thinks for a moment]
Ayeka: Bitch
[Interviewer is still not surprised]
Interviewer: Washu
Ayeka: Pikachu
Interviewer: Eh?
Ayeka: What? You said first word that popped into my mind.
Interviewer: Okay. Yosho.
Ayeka: TRAITOROUS DOG!
Interviewer: Ummm Noboyucki
Ayeka: Dead meat if he looks at me like that again.
Interviewer: Fair enough.
Ayeka: Sasami
Interviewer: Sweet…hold on. I think we got it reversed. Sasami
Ayeka: Slave. You already said Sweet.
Interviewer: Err and finally Tsusami.
Ayeka: The Creature from the movie Alien.
Interviewer: Uhhmmm well that was a good interview.
Ayeka: Why thank you.
[Ayeka passionately kisses the interviewer before he faints and she leaves with a smile]
-Comments?
AYEKA
Okay haha, the dead silence is a REAAAAAL laugh riot. Well she's my favorite character so deal.
[Interviewer conjures Ayeka]
Ayeka: Good evening, I understand your Tenchi's cousin?
[Smiles to himself at the lie Tenchi told in his favor]
Ayeka: The…gay one?
[Silently promises to rend Tenchi limb from limb in many fanfics]
Interviewer: Um no that's Tenchi's OTHER cousin. I'm quite straight.
[Ayeka nods]
Ayeka: Ah.
Interviewer: Your highness we have numerous questions here posted by those who wish to know more about you I'm supposed to ask you.
Ayeka: That sounds lovely, where shall we begin?
[Interviewer looks down at his interview questions then stares in horror]
Ayeka: Is something wrong?
[Staring at a dozen questions which roughly translated as "Whatever the Hell did Ryoko ever do to you, you mean spirited purple haired bitch?" with the occasional substitution of "Whatever the hell did Sasami ever do to you, you nasty cruel purple haired bitch?", he immediately grabbed the clipboard and tossed it in the fireplace]
Interviewer: Justsaythefirstthingthatcomesintoyourmind…..WILL YOU MARRY ME YOU PURPLE HAIRED GODDESS?
[Ayeka moves back shocked as the Interviewer slaps himself]
Interviewer: Um unless the answer is yes, please ignore that.
Ayeka: I suppose.
[Interviewer clears throat]
Interviewer: What attracts you to Tenchi Masaki?
Ayeka: Ah yes. I was expecting a loaded question like that to be coming. Tenchi you know warned me about you. I know all your tricks.
[Interviewer stares shocked wondering what exactly she considered loaded and what she would have done if he'd given even a Toonami edited style version of the questions he'd been given]
Ayeka: Well if you must so, which you don't but I will tell you in the interests of intergalactic peace. I admire Tenchi's nobility.
Interviewer: His blood?
[Interviewer desperately prays no or he's going to have to kidnap Tenchi for a transfusion]
Ayeka: Oh goodness gracious no. I admire his courage, strength of character, respect for tradition, love for his family, and his innate dignity.
[Interviewer does subtle swaying Happy dance because he's got all that]
Ayeka: Pardon me but do you need a doctor?
Interviewer: Oh no…no I'm fine. Joyous in fact.
[blushes and wonders how he's going to bluff his way through the next few questions]
Interviewer: So it's been…commented on that you have a….occasionally….mild sense of disc…dis…disagreement with Ryoko on ocassion?
Ayeka: Commented on? By who?
[Interviewer is terrified and thinks of who Is the least dangerous person to pin this one on]
Interviewer: Umm uh….WASHU!
Ayeka: Ah yes, of course.
[Interviewer stares, wondering how long it will take Washu to dissect him on a lab table for that one]
Ayeka: Yes unfortunately my relationship with THAT woman has occasionally left something to be desired. I've long since forgiven her for her attack on Jurai and the depriving me of my intended husband who languished for seven hundred years in exile on this backwater world because of his noble sacrifice to stop her…however she's very rude and I don't like that.
Interviewer: Errr didn't Yosho elect to stay here?
Ayeka: THAT'S A VICIOUS LIE AND WHOEVER IS SPREADING IT I WILL PERSONALLY REND LIMB FROM LIMB UNTIL THEIR BLOOD FLOWS OUT THEIR EARS!
[Interviewer knocks the coach backwards trying to get away from Ayeka's sudden outbust]
Interviewer: Uh right. My mistake.
[Interviewer sighs in deep deep love and terror, yes much terror]
Ayeka: Your forgiven my cousin and potential suitor. I assume large gifts to show your devotion to me will be arriving at my father's palace shortly.
[Interviewer nods vigorously as he reckons he can write something up and the lady of purple hair would kill him otherwise]
Interviewer: Now about your relationship with your sister Sasami?
Ayeka: Is this another one of your puissant questions about how I am less than amicable to those whose roof I share?
Interviewer: No! No! I'm just wondering however it is you maintain such a wonderful loving relationship to her.
[Ayeka's face visibly softens]
Ayeka: Ah well that I can answer. Sasami's loyalty to me is quite fierce and I would gladly go through the terrible tortures of Tokaimi rather than she her harmed in any way shape or form.
Interviewer: Umm then why did you take her on a seven hundred year mission to seek out your brother when she could have spent it…ummm playing?
Ayeka: Hahaha you silly boy.
[Interviewer waits for an answer and realizes one's not forthcoming but decides to forgive the purple haired one and move on]
Interviewer: If you become Emperess…I mean WHEN you become Emperess what will some changes be to the administration you intend to make?
Ayeka: Changes? Oh Oh I see what you mean. I intend to make Earth part of the Jurai empire.
Interviewer: You plan to conquer us?
Ayeka: I prefer the term annex but effectively supplant your culture completely with our own and interbreed to rejuvenate our weakened bloodlines. That sort of thing.
[Interviewer tries to get past the breed part to contact what last remnants of Earthly dignity he has]
Interviewer: That's…great! Can't wait.
[Interviewer realizes he has not very much apparently]
Ayeka: Your enthusiasm is most encouraging.
Interviewer: Okay for the final part of our interview we'd like you to say the first thing that pops in your head when I read off these names.
Ayeka: How very odd. Still it sounds fascinating.
Interviewer: Ayeka
Ayeka: Goddess.
Interviewer: Couldn't agree more. Mihoshi
Ayeka: Blonde
Interviewer: I wonder what the stereotype for purple hair is on Jurai.
[Ayeka whispers and the interview turns pale and blushes deeply]
Interviewer: Tenchi
Ayeka: Boytoy
[Interviewer is not surprised in the slightest]
Interviewer: Ryoko
[Ayeka thinks for a moment]
Ayeka: Bitch
[Interviewer is still not surprised]
Interviewer: Washu
Ayeka: Pikachu
Interviewer: Eh?
Ayeka: What? You said first word that popped into my mind.
Interviewer: Okay. Yosho.
Ayeka: TRAITOROUS DOG!
Interviewer: Ummm Noboyucki
Ayeka: Dead meat if he looks at me like that again.
Interviewer: Fair enough.
Ayeka: Sasami
Interviewer: Sweet…hold on. I think we got it reversed. Sasami
Ayeka: Slave. You already said Sweet.
Interviewer: Err and finally Tsusami.
Ayeka: The Creature from the movie Alien.
Interviewer: Uhhmmm well that was a good interview.
Ayeka: Why thank you.
[Ayeka passionately kisses the interviewer before he faints and she leaves with a smile]
-Comments?