Okay now the interviews that have gone before haven't necessarily gone well for me thus far [crosses his legs nervously] however I'm now going to interview the one person on Tenchi who absolutely positively is everyone's favorite character after Ayeka….
No not Tokyo scene extra 3#! Geez aren't there any Ayeka fans out there?
Great, dead silence.
I mean Sasami!
Oh NOW you give a a chorus of ooos and ahhhhhs!
Well without further ado I hereby conjure today's special guest…
[Sasami appears with Ryo-oki]
Sasami: Hello.
Ryo-oki: Rowr
[Interviewer looks at the small little bundle of joy and contentment and then looks at his questions, feeling now immensely guilty]
Sasami: Are you going to interview me?
Interviewer: Err that's the idea.
Sasami: Yea!
Ryo-oki: Rowr…
[Sasami gives the cabbit a carrot which he munches on as the interview commences]
Interviewer: Errr Sasami well I….
[Interviewer looks at the cabbit chewing and Sasami's big eyes and can't resist wrapping both in a gigantic cuddle]
Sasami: Ooooomph!
Interviewer: Sorry I had to get that out of my system first.
[Sasami fixes her hair]
Sasami: No prob. Happens all the time.
Interviewer: Well I guess…I kinduv have to get to the questions now…
[Interviewer chews lip nervously]
Sasami: Okay.
Interview: Ummmm do you uh….how do I broach this…LIKE Tenchi?
[Interviewer feels like a louse as he reads the question posted by apparently a large section of the pedophile population of internet]
Sasami: Absolutely! We're cousins and he's great. He was nice enough to let us stay in his house and he's absolutely ado…
Interviewer: No Sasami I mean like as in…err….ummm want to…marry him, yeah!
[Interviewer blushes furiously and says the Lords prayer for forgiveness after this]
Sasami: OH! Well if Ayeka doesn't want him and Ryoko I think I could make a great wife! I do all the cooking, cleaning, and most of the chores anyway!
[Interviewer squeezes tears away from the innocence of said comment]
Interviewer: Yeah, speaking of which, some people have commented that you probably shouldn't be doing that at your age.
[Sasami looks hurt]
Sasami: They don't think my cooking is any good?
Interviewer: No! I mean no they think it's…
Sasami: I follow the recipes right! Honest! I'll do better I swear!
Interviewer: No no! Your doing fine! No it's just…
Sasami: Is it the laundry? Should I add more starch?
[Interviewer feels like Satan]
Interviewer: Never mind.
Sasami: Oh, okay. I really will try and help out more!
Interviewer: Okay well let's move on with the interview to errr…Oh my God.
[Looks at the next question]
Sasami: You shouldn't swear. What is it?
[Interviewer lifts up clipboard to his chest to hide it from Sasami to hide the "So Sasami what do you think of all the steamy loving fics out there baby" question posted by his questioneers]
Interviewer: There's…it's a question which asks what you think of your fan popularity which is second only to Ryoka, particularly among the adult…population.
[Interviewer gets a bad taste in his mouth]
Sasami: You mean all that stuff on the internet with me and tenchi, me and Ryoka, me and Ayeka, me and Ryo-oki, me and the galaxy police, me and Yosho, me and Nobuyoki, and sometimes me and them all at once?
Interviewer: Errr you know about that? The stuff with the…
[Sasami sticks her tongue out]
Sasami: NC-17 before it? Ya. I clicked on it one night while I was at fanfic.net looking for some Sailor Moon fictions. I figure I'm seven hundred AND eight years old so there wouldn't be too much of a problem.
[Ryo-oki spits]
Interviewer: Um yeah.
Sasami: I asked Ryoko what all the words meant. She just laughed so I asked Tenchi then I had to sit in a corner for a week after his granddad overheard him trying to explain. I don't understand adults.
[Interviewer avoids snorting laughter just barely]
Interviewer: Okay.
Sasami: I think he's still cleaning out the bath tanks.
Interviewer: So Sasami you have your own show in Japan now. What do you think of the fandom that's made you the first character to have a spinoff?
Sasami: Is the same fandom who makes the NC-17 stories where I…
[Whispers in Interviewers ear the rest]
Interviewer: Oh my God! No!
Sasami: Oh good then I like them. I like being a Sailor Scout.
Interviewer: I don't think your technically supposed to be a Sailor Scout.
[Sasami looks disappointed]
Interviewer: Well um you get the dress….*shudder* which is amazingly short and to fight bad emotions…
Sasami: Rei won't be coming to my birthday party? I even have Usagi hair…
[Sasami begins to tear up]
Interviewer: No No your Sailor…Sun or something…your…of course they're coming!
Sasami: Oh good.
[Interviewer wonders if it was like this on Jurai for Ayeka]
Interviewer: So now onto your relationship with the goddess…WHO THE HELL WRITES THESE QUESTIONS?
[Interviewer throws down clipboard]
Sasami: Shhh don't hell and don't cuss or I may have to tell my dad you aren't right for Ayeka
[Interviewer freezes up]
Interviewer: Uh no Don't do that.
[Gets cabbit a carrot and pats Sasami on the head]
Interviewer: Some people are curious what your thoughts about the upcoming merger with Tsusami will mean…to…for…you in your mind?
Sasami: Oh it's going to be great! I'm going to be a goddess and very pretty!
[Interviewer bites his lip]
Interviewer: Your not…worried?
Sasami: About what?
[Interviewer doesn't have the heart to proceed with that line of questioning]
Interviewer: So finally we'd like to hear your feelings on your fellow cast members.
Sasami: Okay day.
Ryo-oki: Carrrrots.
Interviewer: Oh God you even like Jar Jar.
Sasami: hehehe he reminds me of Mihoshi except she's got a gun and is blonde.
Interviewer: Okay that covers her, Kiyone?
Sasami: She's nice.
Interviewer: err okay…Nobuyuki?
Sasami: He's nice. He let us live in his house and is always paying attention to us.
Interviewer: Yosho?
Sasami: He's a really big brother now!
Interviewer: My parents are diabetic you know Sasami. What are your feelings on Washu?
Sasami: She's nice and has cool inventions for us to play with. Tenchi must be very happy we can visit him any time now with that warp gate!
Interviewer: So I hear! Ryoko.
Sasami: Redemption is great! Now she's no longer a mean old space pirate serving Kagato but a heroine! It's too bad about those fifty-three galaxy police cruisers or so…and that bank…
Interviewer: Okay now for Tenchi himself.
Sasami: Snicker, he's got lots of love trouble though I don't think he's as sure as all those fanfics portray him…..or could do that stuff with his…
Interviewer: YEAH! Um okay! Good um you can stop now I get the picture.
Sasami: Okay you forgot Ayeka and Ryo-oki.
Interviewer: Okay what do you have to say about the beautiful purple haired vixen?
Sasami: Who?
[Interviewer slaps himself in the forehead]
Interviewer: Your sister.
Sasami: Oh well, I love her and wish her the best. I think she has a big temper but her hearts in the right place, plus she'll make a great queen of Jurai.
Interviewer: No aspirations to the throne yourself?
Sasami: No silly, I'm going to be a goddess.
Interviewer: *underhisbreath* If Tsusami hurts her so help me God I'll tranform her into the badfic victem of the century.
Sasami: Pardon?
Interviewer: Ryo-oki.
Sasami: Oh she's so cute and she's a space ship too. I hope she grows up big and strong! She's my friend.
Ryo-oki: Carrrots.
Interviewer: Well that's it for the interview! Until next time when we interview the galaxy police!
Sasami: Byeee!
[Sasami fades away with a smile]
-Comments?
No not Tokyo scene extra 3#! Geez aren't there any Ayeka fans out there?
Great, dead silence.
I mean Sasami!
Oh NOW you give a a chorus of ooos and ahhhhhs!
Well without further ado I hereby conjure today's special guest…
[Sasami appears with Ryo-oki]
Sasami: Hello.
Ryo-oki: Rowr
[Interviewer looks at the small little bundle of joy and contentment and then looks at his questions, feeling now immensely guilty]
Sasami: Are you going to interview me?
Interviewer: Err that's the idea.
Sasami: Yea!
Ryo-oki: Rowr…
[Sasami gives the cabbit a carrot which he munches on as the interview commences]
Interviewer: Errr Sasami well I….
[Interviewer looks at the cabbit chewing and Sasami's big eyes and can't resist wrapping both in a gigantic cuddle]
Sasami: Ooooomph!
Interviewer: Sorry I had to get that out of my system first.
[Sasami fixes her hair]
Sasami: No prob. Happens all the time.
Interviewer: Well I guess…I kinduv have to get to the questions now…
[Interviewer chews lip nervously]
Sasami: Okay.
Interview: Ummmm do you uh….how do I broach this…LIKE Tenchi?
[Interviewer feels like a louse as he reads the question posted by apparently a large section of the pedophile population of internet]
Sasami: Absolutely! We're cousins and he's great. He was nice enough to let us stay in his house and he's absolutely ado…
Interviewer: No Sasami I mean like as in…err….ummm want to…marry him, yeah!
[Interviewer blushes furiously and says the Lords prayer for forgiveness after this]
Sasami: OH! Well if Ayeka doesn't want him and Ryoko I think I could make a great wife! I do all the cooking, cleaning, and most of the chores anyway!
[Interviewer squeezes tears away from the innocence of said comment]
Interviewer: Yeah, speaking of which, some people have commented that you probably shouldn't be doing that at your age.
[Sasami looks hurt]
Sasami: They don't think my cooking is any good?
Interviewer: No! I mean no they think it's…
Sasami: I follow the recipes right! Honest! I'll do better I swear!
Interviewer: No no! Your doing fine! No it's just…
Sasami: Is it the laundry? Should I add more starch?
[Interviewer feels like Satan]
Interviewer: Never mind.
Sasami: Oh, okay. I really will try and help out more!
Interviewer: Okay well let's move on with the interview to errr…Oh my God.
[Looks at the next question]
Sasami: You shouldn't swear. What is it?
[Interviewer lifts up clipboard to his chest to hide it from Sasami to hide the "So Sasami what do you think of all the steamy loving fics out there baby" question posted by his questioneers]
Interviewer: There's…it's a question which asks what you think of your fan popularity which is second only to Ryoka, particularly among the adult…population.
[Interviewer gets a bad taste in his mouth]
Sasami: You mean all that stuff on the internet with me and tenchi, me and Ryoka, me and Ayeka, me and Ryo-oki, me and the galaxy police, me and Yosho, me and Nobuyoki, and sometimes me and them all at once?
Interviewer: Errr you know about that? The stuff with the…
[Sasami sticks her tongue out]
Sasami: NC-17 before it? Ya. I clicked on it one night while I was at fanfic.net looking for some Sailor Moon fictions. I figure I'm seven hundred AND eight years old so there wouldn't be too much of a problem.
[Ryo-oki spits]
Interviewer: Um yeah.
Sasami: I asked Ryoko what all the words meant. She just laughed so I asked Tenchi then I had to sit in a corner for a week after his granddad overheard him trying to explain. I don't understand adults.
[Interviewer avoids snorting laughter just barely]
Interviewer: Okay.
Sasami: I think he's still cleaning out the bath tanks.
Interviewer: So Sasami you have your own show in Japan now. What do you think of the fandom that's made you the first character to have a spinoff?
Sasami: Is the same fandom who makes the NC-17 stories where I…
[Whispers in Interviewers ear the rest]
Interviewer: Oh my God! No!
Sasami: Oh good then I like them. I like being a Sailor Scout.
Interviewer: I don't think your technically supposed to be a Sailor Scout.
[Sasami looks disappointed]
Interviewer: Well um you get the dress….*shudder* which is amazingly short and to fight bad emotions…
Sasami: Rei won't be coming to my birthday party? I even have Usagi hair…
[Sasami begins to tear up]
Interviewer: No No your Sailor…Sun or something…your…of course they're coming!
Sasami: Oh good.
[Interviewer wonders if it was like this on Jurai for Ayeka]
Interviewer: So now onto your relationship with the goddess…WHO THE HELL WRITES THESE QUESTIONS?
[Interviewer throws down clipboard]
Sasami: Shhh don't hell and don't cuss or I may have to tell my dad you aren't right for Ayeka
[Interviewer freezes up]
Interviewer: Uh no Don't do that.
[Gets cabbit a carrot and pats Sasami on the head]
Interviewer: Some people are curious what your thoughts about the upcoming merger with Tsusami will mean…to…for…you in your mind?
Sasami: Oh it's going to be great! I'm going to be a goddess and very pretty!
[Interviewer bites his lip]
Interviewer: Your not…worried?
Sasami: About what?
[Interviewer doesn't have the heart to proceed with that line of questioning]
Interviewer: So finally we'd like to hear your feelings on your fellow cast members.
Sasami: Okay day.
Ryo-oki: Carrrrots.
Interviewer: Oh God you even like Jar Jar.
Sasami: hehehe he reminds me of Mihoshi except she's got a gun and is blonde.
Interviewer: Okay that covers her, Kiyone?
Sasami: She's nice.
Interviewer: err okay…Nobuyuki?
Sasami: He's nice. He let us live in his house and is always paying attention to us.
Interviewer: Yosho?
Sasami: He's a really big brother now!
Interviewer: My parents are diabetic you know Sasami. What are your feelings on Washu?
Sasami: She's nice and has cool inventions for us to play with. Tenchi must be very happy we can visit him any time now with that warp gate!
Interviewer: So I hear! Ryoko.
Sasami: Redemption is great! Now she's no longer a mean old space pirate serving Kagato but a heroine! It's too bad about those fifty-three galaxy police cruisers or so…and that bank…
Interviewer: Okay now for Tenchi himself.
Sasami: Snicker, he's got lots of love trouble though I don't think he's as sure as all those fanfics portray him…..or could do that stuff with his…
Interviewer: YEAH! Um okay! Good um you can stop now I get the picture.
Sasami: Okay you forgot Ayeka and Ryo-oki.
Interviewer: Okay what do you have to say about the beautiful purple haired vixen?
Sasami: Who?
[Interviewer slaps himself in the forehead]
Interviewer: Your sister.
Sasami: Oh well, I love her and wish her the best. I think she has a big temper but her hearts in the right place, plus she'll make a great queen of Jurai.
Interviewer: No aspirations to the throne yourself?
Sasami: No silly, I'm going to be a goddess.
Interviewer: *underhisbreath* If Tsusami hurts her so help me God I'll tranform her into the badfic victem of the century.
Sasami: Pardon?
Interviewer: Ryo-oki.
Sasami: Oh she's so cute and she's a space ship too. I hope she grows up big and strong! She's my friend.
Ryo-oki: Carrrots.
Interviewer: Well that's it for the interview! Until next time when we interview the galaxy police!
Sasami: Byeee!
[Sasami fades away with a smile]
-Comments?