Addooshoes (on AO3) and I came up with the idea for this story all the way back in 2014. I started writing it and got to the beginning of the fourth chapter before I ran out of steam - mostly because I didn't know how to end it. After poking at the story for years, I finally got back to it last summer (along with some other long-neglected projects) and finished it up, and after yet another shorter delay, it is finally ready to post!
Update: After much going back and forth, I'm proud to present a complete revision that I hope better lives up to the delightful premise, with hopefully less stumbling along the way!
There is little to be said about me. My name, Godfrey Norton, has little reason to be known. I am an English lawyer, who, having left London, has found refuge in the only city that may be said to surpass it for better and for worse. I am employed by the wealthy men who enter Wall Street with money and time to spare and sit back to watch it multiply beyond comprehension.
It is my dear wife, the illustrious Irene (née Adler), who is by far the most notable thing about me. From a mere glimpse, she has been described as having a face that a man might die for. She has the voice of an angel and has been the "favourite," upon various occasions, of several European monarchs - the most notable such occasion being that infamous "Scandal in Bohemia."
However, that is only as she has already been seen by the public; to restate it would only be redundant. I am instead writing to illuminate another side of her, that of the brilliant woman who has bested one of the greatest minds in Europe. But I suppose that this, the strangest incident to which my dear wife and I have been privy, is less a tale of the victory of women than the folly of men.
I will try to keep to the facts with as little personal input as possible, but I also seek to guide you, the reader, through a tale in which much is implied and little can be said.
It began upon a pleasant spring morning in early April of 1891. The trees were just beginning to bud, the sky was a beautiful bright blue, and the air was crisp, but not too cold. It was a welcome relief after the long, cold New York winter - nothing to which an Englishman like myself was unaccustomed, but tiring after a time nonetheless. Irene and I were just returning from a pleasant promenade in the park when we discovered a gentleman waiting in our parlour, lounging in the chair by the window.
He stood as we entered, like a tiger lazily stretching to its feet. He cut a striking figure; hardly a young man, with grizzled, scarred features, and an immense bushy moustache. He was unmistakably an old British campaigner, but there was a hard gleam in his bright blue eyes.
As is not an infrequent occurrence, he had eyes only for Irene and extended a hand to her as we entered. "Do I have the pleasure of addressing Mrs. Irene Norton?"
Irene assented and permitted him to press her hand. "I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage."
"Colonel Sebastian Moran," he said. "I regret that I have come on a matter of business."
"You are not in search of a singer for a party?" Irene answered with a coquettish smile with which I am well acquainted.
"No, I am afraid it is a more serious matter," the colonel said with an indulgent smile.
Under the circumstances, I hope I may be forgiven for my arrogance in presuming that despite his understandable preoccupation with Irene, he meant that he had come to consult with me on some legal matter.
"I typically consult in my office." I gestured towards the hall, where, in that case, the maid should have directed him upon his arrival.
Colonel Moran made no move to follow and fixed me with a rather less congenial gaze. "It is with the late Miss Adler that I wish to consult."
It is not such an unusual thing for my dear Irene to receive such consultations, though rarely from a perfect stranger, who has not come as an acquaintance of a friend, but as such I took it in stride, "I see, then I will leave you to talk. I can call for tea, if you like."
"Yes, thank you-" he began, but Irene cut him off.
"Not so fast," she said to me, with a disarming look, "I believe you may be of use to me yet." She turned to the colonel and explained, "Please, allow me to introduce my husband, Mr. Godfrey Norton, Esq. Anything you tell me will get to him regardless, so he may as well hear it first hand."
The colonel and I briefly shook hands and again I was struck by the hard glint in his eyes. Despite her apparent confidence, Irene must have been wary of this Colonel Moran to insist upon my presence at a private consultation.
Once we were all seated - the colonel in the same chair by the window, Irene across from him, and myself on the couch a little off to the side - only then did Irene say with exaggerated curiosity, "What is it that brings an esteemed, decorated officer, such as yourself, all the way across the pond to our humble abode?"
"There is no need for flattery," the colonel said, again favouring Irene with a sharp smile. "I have come to seek your aid in a delicate, private matter. To put it simply, I am a well connected man, and so people often come to me with their troubles in the hopes that if I cannot aid them, I may know someone who can. I am here about a matter of particular import, and I have concluded there is no one else who may be entrusted with the task."
"You are not here on behalf of an opera missing a prima donna?"
Impatience began to show through the colonel's gentility. "I am aware of your acquaintance with Mr. Sherlock Holmes."
"Yes, so is everyone else after that friend of his, Dr. Watson, published 'A Scandal in Bohemia', I believe it was. An excellent piece too, though that disclaimer at the beginning has led to quite a bit more speculation as to my 'relations' with the man than I would have liked."
I had to keep myself from laughing at the familiar complaint.
"We may thank Dr. Watson on this occasion, as his writings furnish you with a particular, personal incentive to dispel any rumours as to any 'relations' in which Mr. Holmes may be involved, and I know that your discretion is assured. Of course, you will also receive more than satisfactory remuneration for your troubles."
I thought I heard a subtle threat in his tone, but Irene replied with no less levity, "And you accuse me of flattery. I'm no detective, if I understand what it is you mean for me to do; I just help ladies - friends of mine, really - with their little problems. It's just a hobby of mine."
"False humility does not suit you, Mrs. Norton. I am here because you are one of the few who has bested Mr. Holmes."
"Godfrey could tell you that we were only able to evade Mr. Holmes's efforts by our hasty flight to America and his gentlemanly discretion. Why all this sudden interest in Mr. Holmes's 'relations' anyway?"
"Discretion, Mrs. Norton," the colonel warned.
Irene gave a theatrical sigh. "Well, if there's not much you can tell me, there's not much I can do. Despite public opinion, I hardly know of Mr. Holmes' personal life and have no desire to run afoul of him again."
"Mr. Holmes is in France and is not expected to return to London for some time-"
"Then what do you mean for me to investigate?"
The colonel continued as though there had been no interruption, "Therefore there is no risk of running afoul of him. However, I expect you will be able to glean enough from Dr. John Watson, who remains in London with his charming wife. There is also Mrs. Hudson, the landlady of many years, and an older brother, Mycroft Holmes, who can be found at the Diogenes Club on Pall Mall. You will leave tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock sharp to cross the Atlantic-"
To my surprise, Irene interrupted to insist, "I will not go without my husband, and unlike myself, he is not at leisure to travel at a moment's notice, with a significant legal practice to attend to."
"I beg you to reconsider."
"I will not return to London without him."
If he were a lesser man, I believe the colonel would have retorted, but instead he only said, "Very well, I will see to it that a capable man is found to take on his current cases. However, your husband will need to arrange his own voyage-"
"You can arrange for someone to take over a sizable legal practice for a number of weeks at a moment's notice, and yet you cannot find last minute tickets across the Atlantic - or a qualified investigator? If you insist upon my involvement, I expect to be given all the resources I could possibly need for my investigation, my husband included."
The colonel stood to depart, looking quite ready to wash his hands of the whole matter, but he relented, "It will be taken care of."
Irene and I both stood to show him out and he pressed her hand again.
"I will call on you when you are situated in London," the colonel said. "Good day."
Only when he had gone and the parlour door closed behind him did she turn to me with a tinkling laugh.
"So we return to London?" I said, undeniably mystified by the entire ordeal.
"Yes, so it appears."
"I must confess some apprehension at our purpose."
She smiled impishly, keenly aware of the question I meant to ask. "You are right, Godfrey, it is plain that someone does not mean Mr. Holmes well, though it is hardly such a surprise with his interfering ways."
"Do you think it's revenge?"
"It would be fitting, using Mr. Holmes's own methods against him, but I would not expect it of a gentleman like our colonel, nor is it a terribly efficient means of exacting revenge."
"For all his talk of discretion, I can but wonder if he truly means to damage Mr. Holmes's reputation."
"Perhaps so," Irene said thoughtfully. "It's simple enough to spread a rumour, but he would need evidence for blackmail. Or perhaps the colonel has some more personal interest in Mr. Holmes - or Dr. Watson's charming wife. Or perhaps he was telling the truth that he is not here for his own purposes, but came in Mrs. Watson's stead, or that of some other unknown lady with an interest in the matter."
"Perhaps he's trying to impress you," I suggested.
Irene laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, Godfrey." However, more seriously she said, "I didn't mean to force your hand. You don't have to join me, if you would prefer to remain and tend to your practice."
"Not at all, my dear, I could use some time back in dear old England, though I confess I cannot but wonder why you accepted Colonel Moran's terms in such an uncertain business. You are under no obligation to him."
She smiled in understanding. "Don't worry Godfrey, I'll be careful. I have nothing against Mr. Holmes, but I'm curious. I wouldn't mind knowing what Mr. Holmes has gotten himself into as well, but I want to know what this Colonel Moran's game is. The problems of butterflies are well enough, but I haven't had a chance to do anything this fun in years. And who knows, perhaps we can return the favour for Mr. Holmes's discretion."
"And now I know why I need to come with you."
"Yes, you'll keep me out of too much trouble, and I'm sure I can find other ways for you to make yourself useful."