1999

DISCOVERY
Part Seven: Enlightenment

(This fic is written entirely from Arnold's point of view. I really tried to get into his head, even as HE tries to understand Helga.)


"Lila, this can't be true," Arnold repeated.

Lila looked at him solemnly, but only said, "Arnold, I think you and Helga need to have a long talk. I'll see you tomorrow. "

Lila walked away, leaving Arnold standing there lost in thought. For as long as I can remember, Helga has always made fun of me and played mean tricks on me. Of course, there are times when she can be really nice, but .... she even told me once that she thought being mean and nasty was what made her special.

It suddenly occurred to him that Helga's worst pranks were always done in front of an audience. Her reputation again. How can you ever get to know someone who won't let her guard down? He wondered, for a moment, if she acted differently when she was alone.

Arnold sighed. I'd better find her and get this straightened out. He decided to check at Phoebe's house first.

As he walked, strange, conflicting thoughts kept surfacing.

"It seems like she's always pickin' on you in particular, Arnold"

"Maybe she likes ya, Arnold."

"That's crazy, Grandpa. She hates me.

"I really don't hate you, Arnold. In fact, quite the contrary... "

"...you little wing-haired spitwad! "

"You seem so different tonight, so..."

" Sophisticated?"

"Well ... yeah. "

"Doi! "

"Move it, bucko!"

..."Writing poetry's a waste of time and paper..."

(Gulp) The PINK BOOK?!

... Ever find out who your secret admirer is?

No way, Arnold thought, alarmed. It CAN'T be hers. It just can't be ...

Arnold was feeling very confused by the time he got to Phoebe's. She answered the door almost immediately.

"Hello, Arnold." she said cheerfully.

"Uh, hi, Phoebe. Um ... I'm looking for Helga. Is she here?"

"Why, no, Arnold. I haven't seen her since I left school for my cello lesson. Is something wrong?" she asked, concerned.

Suddenly Arnold felt really awkward. Of course Lila was wrong. "Well, I'm sure it's nothing, Phoebe. We just ... sort of got into an argument and she ran off all upset. I just wanted to make sure she's all right."

Phoebe came out of her house and closed the door. "What exactly were you arguing about? If you don't mind my inquiry. "

Arnold hesitated. Phoebe WAS Helga's best friend...

So Arnold gave her a summary of what had happened. He somehow managed to avoid saying exactly what was written on the wall. "..And I know she only hit me by accident..." his voice trailed off "I wouldn't even be here right now except that Helga acted so weird just before she ran off

But Phoebe was not the smartest girl in school for nothing. "Exactly what was written on the wall?"

He felt himself blushing. "Oh, just that --- well, it was one of those --- it was a heart with 'Helga loves Arnold' written in it. Of course, I told Lila there was no way it could be true. After all, everyone knows that Helga hates me. I'm sure it's all just been some kind of mistake ... right?"

Arnold expected Phoebe to agree with him, so it came as a shock when she hesitated for a long time, then shook her head and answered sadly, "It's no mistake, Arnold. She's always been too shy to tell you."

Arnold laughed. "Helga? Shy? Yeah, right. Come on, Phoebe, where's the joke?"

Abruptly, quiet, undemonstrative Phoebe Heyerdahl grabbed him by the shirtfront. "It's no joke, Arnold! " she cried out. "It's true. She really does love you. She WORSHIPS you!"

Phoebe released his shirt.

Arnold was totally astounded by her fierceness. Then her words registered. He frowned in confusion. "Come on, Phoebe. Don't you think I'd have noticed?"

Her voice rose in real distress. "Not if she didn't want you to! Oh, Arnold, she's a MASTER at hiding her emotions. I'm her best friend, but she even keeps ME at arm's length most of the time. I've never met a deeper person in my life--to really get to know her you have to look past the surface, past the mocking, violent facade she displays to the rest of the world...

Phoebe continued before he could say anything. "She's been caught up in a cycle of misery and fear and hostility that she emphatically wants to alter, but every time she attempts to do so her emotions get in the way, until out of desperation she drops back behind her protective mask of contempt." "Oh, Arnold," she said woefully, "The torment she's directed at you is NOTHING compared to the much greater torment she's put herself through...

Arnold was wreeling from the sudden rush of information. "But--"

Lowering her eyes, Phoebe went on sadly, "Oh, Arnold, don't you see? She's so afraid of being hurt..."

When she looked up at him he was startled to see tears in her brown eyes.

Uncharacteristically, Phoebe put her hand on his shoulder. "Find her, Arnold." she said urgently. "Confront her and make her tell you the truth. She's been hiding this for so long ... Help her break the cycle."

Arnold stared down at the small girl for several seconds, seeing the truth in her eyes, in her unusual fierce protectiveness. Then, not trusting himself to speak through the lump in his throat, he nodded and turned to walk down the stoop.

"Oh, and Arnold?"

"What?" He turned back.

"Please don't tell Helga what I said. I'm certain you would have found out in the near future, anyway--she's been strengthening her resolve for some time now. But she probably would have preferred to tell you herself."

He nodded again. "And you don't want her mad at you?"

"That, too."







As Arnold walked, he realized he was finally taking the whole situation seriously. And the more he thought about it, the more connections he'd never given much thought to now popped into his head, all mixed with Helga's typical behavior.

"Watch where you're going, you little yellow-haired shrimp! "

"Then why'd you kiss me so long?"

"Hey, I was just ACTING, Football Head, I was just being professional. You think I WANTED to do that?"

"MmmmMmmmmmMmm"

"What are YOU lookin' at, geekbait?"

"All I was trying to do was GET ALONG with you..."

"Oh, Arnold, I'm FINE as long as you're near me..."

"In case you've forgotten, Arnold, I hate your guts!"

"She was taking advantage of you. I couldn't just..."

"One side, moron!"

"I almost lost you, Arnold. I almost lost you..."

As Arnold was passing Freddie's Junkyard, something small and metallic came bouncing and skittering out across the pavement from inside, as though thrown by someone. It was a large gold locket with a picture of himself in it, smiling.

Haven't I seen this somewhere before? Arnold thought, picking it up.

Just then he heard something. It sounded like the wail of something or someone in distress. Orienting on the sound, he followed the crying to its source deep inside the junkyard: a short stack of old car tires. It was Helga.