1999
DISCOVERY
Part Ten: What I See
(This fic is written entirely from Arnold's point of view. I really tried to get into his head, even as HE tries to understand Helga.)
"Don't say that, Helga." Arnold touched her forearm gently.
She didn't move, staring at the ground between them.
The sudden CRACK! of thunder surprised them. Large, warm drops of rain began to fall. Arnold and Helga looked at each other in silence as the rain went from sprinkle to summer downpour in less than a minute. The sky darkened to near-twilight.
We'd better get out of this rain. Arnold thought reluctantly. "Come on, let's find someplace to wait it out." he suggested, knowing how quickly some storms pass.
"Okay, Arnold." Helga said quietly. "How about in one of those?" She pointed to a couple of old cars sitting in the back of the junkyard.
"Good idea."
One of the cars only had damage at the front end, so the two kids got into the back seat. Arnold pulled the door shut with a sigh of relief.
"Whew! What a day." Arnold smiled at Helga in the semidarkness, looking at her drooping bow and ponytails, feeling water trickle down his neck from his own limp hair. He tried to shake his head gently enough to get some of the water off without spraying Helga. Soon his hair was resuming its normal gravity-defying style.
Helga, meanwhile, had set her locket down on the seat next to her. She'd removed her dripping bow, draping it over the back of the seat in front of her. Her damp hair, freed from its tight ponytails, flowed past her shoulders in shining blonde waves.
"You know, I can't remember the last time I saw your hair down like that." Arnold commented. She didn't answer. "It looks good." He added somewhat lamely.
At that, Helga finally responded, smiling shyly. Actually, it sort of reminds me of someone... Arnold mused, puzzled. Suddenly a look of panic crossed Helga's face.
"What is it?"
"Arnold! Look out! It's a RAT!" she shrieked, hysterical.
And there was! A large black rat was clinging to the seat in front of her. Helga was pushing herself back into the seat as far as she could, letting out the small, wordless cries of someone truly terrified.
Glancing around quickly, Arnold grabbed an old windshield scraper that had been left on the floor of the backseat and flung it at the rat as hard as he could. The scraper struck the rat, and knocked it, with a loud squeak, out the front window, along with Helga's bow.
Arnold watched the rat scamper off. Helga sat stiffly, looking around the car in quick, paranoid glances. Then Arnold noticed her hands were trembling.
She saw him looking and turned her back on him, sitting slightly hunched over in the dimness. Just like before, in the tree. In another flash of insight, Arnold realized, She was so scared. It must seem like a sign of weakness to her, so she tries to hide it. Like most of her other feelings.
Arnold looked at Helga, sitting stiffly with her back to him, and impulsively reached out and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. He felt her jump at his touch. "It's okay, Helga, it's gone now." he said soothingly.
For a long moment she didn't move. Then-
"Oh, Arnold!"
"Ooof!"
Arnold suddenly found himself clutched in an awkward embrace. His eyes widened in shock. She sure is strong! It was sort of uncomfortable, and he didn't know what to do with his hands, so he just let them dangle.
Helga clung tightly to him. He could feel her heart, racing at high speed. Every so often she trembled violently. Finally, after about a minute, she took a deep, shuddery breath and let him go.
In the back of his mind he noticed that part of her hair was covering one eye. Now why does that look so familiar? I know I've never seen her wear her hair that way at school.
Helga seemed embarrassed. Her cheeks went pink as she said, "Sorry, Arnold. It's just that...I HATE rats. I mean-"
"It's okay, Helga." Arnold felt again that unaccustomed feeling of tenderness toward her; a protectiveness. "We all get scared sometimes. I understand."
The two of them sat together in silence for several moments, each lost in thought. Helga tucked the stray hair behind her ear.
Finally Arnold gathered up his courage and asked, "Did you really mean what you said? About hating yourself?"
For a moment the familiar annoyed scowl appeared. Arnold braced himself for another scathing 'mind your own business' comment. It was so hard to talk to her, to get her to open up! Even when she looked like she really needed it. I always seem to say the wrong thing.
Then, just as suddenly, the scowl vanished and a look of sad weariness took its place. Helga sighed.
"Sometimes." She admitted in a small voice he hardly recognized. "I've hated myself for not being able to tell you how I feel about you. And...even my own parents don't care about me. Sometimes I think...maybe I'm not...I don't know...GOOD enough to love!" Her voice broke on the last few words.
A single tear rolled down her cheek, glistening in the dimness as she lowered her head. Her hair fell forward to hide her face.
"Oh, Helga." Arnold said softly. Imagine that...thinking your own parents don't love you. Both of them were silent for a long moment, listening to the rushing sound of the water falling outside.
Yet another realization hit Arnold. Of course, if your PARENTS don't even care about you, how are you supposed to care about yourself? Or anyone else for that matter? But...she does.
He remembered telling Gerald about how her parents treated her, as though she were invisible half of the time. But still...he wasn't ready to believe that even Helga's parents were that uncaring. Arnold said gently, "I'm sure your parents care about you, even if they can't show it. And ...maybe they don't appreciate you, but...do you want to know what I see when I look at you?"
Slowly Helga raised her head, her hair covering one eye again, looking at him uncertainly.
"I see the girl who brought back my hat after I thought it was gone forever. The girl who got us everything we needed to build my Cityday parade float. I see a girl tough enough to take on any bully at school, and brave enough to come looking for ghost trains."
She gave him a very small smile. Encouraged, he continued. "Who always comes through when her friends really need her? Remember Mighty Pete? And what about Phoebe? You always stick up for her. I remember how you took care of her after she broke her leg."
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Helga-" Unconsciously wanting to reassure her, he put his hand on her shoulder. "You were there for me after Lila dumped me. And you tried to warn me about Summer. You've saved my life-not once, but twice. Once in the biodome. And once in that tree."
Her face slowly lightened as his words sank in. Then...she smiled at him. Arnold blinked. When she smiled like that, it changed her face completely. She looked like a different girl...and oddly familiar.
"I did, didn't I?"
"You sure did, Helga. You sure did."
They stared at each other long enough for Arnold to start feeling a little uncomfortable. Lifting his hand from her shoulder, he commented, "Hey, Helga, you know with your hair like that you remind me of...someone I...met..." He frowned thoughtfully. He almost knew it...
Helga gave him a half-smile. "Did she speak French, by any chance?" she said softly.
Arnold started. "Yeah, how did you....CECILE?"
She nodded sheepishly. "Uh, huh. I wanted to be close to you, any way that I could..."
Arnold couldn't speak. His dream girl...that wonderful, mysterious girl whom he'd spent so many hours thinking about...was none other than the girl right in front of him. No wonder it felt like I'd known her my whole life...and that she knew me, too. Why didn't I see it before?
DISCOVERY
Part Ten: What I See
(This fic is written entirely from Arnold's point of view. I really tried to get into his head, even as HE tries to understand Helga.)
"Don't say that, Helga." Arnold touched her forearm gently.
She didn't move, staring at the ground between them.
The sudden CRACK! of thunder surprised them. Large, warm drops of rain began to fall. Arnold and Helga looked at each other in silence as the rain went from sprinkle to summer downpour in less than a minute. The sky darkened to near-twilight.
We'd better get out of this rain. Arnold thought reluctantly. "Come on, let's find someplace to wait it out." he suggested, knowing how quickly some storms pass.
"Okay, Arnold." Helga said quietly. "How about in one of those?" She pointed to a couple of old cars sitting in the back of the junkyard.
"Good idea."
One of the cars only had damage at the front end, so the two kids got into the back seat. Arnold pulled the door shut with a sigh of relief.
"Whew! What a day." Arnold smiled at Helga in the semidarkness, looking at her drooping bow and ponytails, feeling water trickle down his neck from his own limp hair. He tried to shake his head gently enough to get some of the water off without spraying Helga. Soon his hair was resuming its normal gravity-defying style.
Helga, meanwhile, had set her locket down on the seat next to her. She'd removed her dripping bow, draping it over the back of the seat in front of her. Her damp hair, freed from its tight ponytails, flowed past her shoulders in shining blonde waves.
"You know, I can't remember the last time I saw your hair down like that." Arnold commented. She didn't answer. "It looks good." He added somewhat lamely.
At that, Helga finally responded, smiling shyly. Actually, it sort of reminds me of someone... Arnold mused, puzzled. Suddenly a look of panic crossed Helga's face.
"What is it?"
"Arnold! Look out! It's a RAT!" she shrieked, hysterical.
And there was! A large black rat was clinging to the seat in front of her. Helga was pushing herself back into the seat as far as she could, letting out the small, wordless cries of someone truly terrified.
Glancing around quickly, Arnold grabbed an old windshield scraper that had been left on the floor of the backseat and flung it at the rat as hard as he could. The scraper struck the rat, and knocked it, with a loud squeak, out the front window, along with Helga's bow.
Arnold watched the rat scamper off. Helga sat stiffly, looking around the car in quick, paranoid glances. Then Arnold noticed her hands were trembling.
She saw him looking and turned her back on him, sitting slightly hunched over in the dimness. Just like before, in the tree. In another flash of insight, Arnold realized, She was so scared. It must seem like a sign of weakness to her, so she tries to hide it. Like most of her other feelings.
Arnold looked at Helga, sitting stiffly with her back to him, and impulsively reached out and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. He felt her jump at his touch. "It's okay, Helga, it's gone now." he said soothingly.
For a long moment she didn't move. Then-
"Oh, Arnold!"
"Ooof!"
Arnold suddenly found himself clutched in an awkward embrace. His eyes widened in shock. She sure is strong! It was sort of uncomfortable, and he didn't know what to do with his hands, so he just let them dangle.
Helga clung tightly to him. He could feel her heart, racing at high speed. Every so often she trembled violently. Finally, after about a minute, she took a deep, shuddery breath and let him go.
In the back of his mind he noticed that part of her hair was covering one eye. Now why does that look so familiar? I know I've never seen her wear her hair that way at school.
Helga seemed embarrassed. Her cheeks went pink as she said, "Sorry, Arnold. It's just that...I HATE rats. I mean-"
"It's okay, Helga." Arnold felt again that unaccustomed feeling of tenderness toward her; a protectiveness. "We all get scared sometimes. I understand."
The two of them sat together in silence for several moments, each lost in thought. Helga tucked the stray hair behind her ear.
Finally Arnold gathered up his courage and asked, "Did you really mean what you said? About hating yourself?"
For a moment the familiar annoyed scowl appeared. Arnold braced himself for another scathing 'mind your own business' comment. It was so hard to talk to her, to get her to open up! Even when she looked like she really needed it. I always seem to say the wrong thing.
Then, just as suddenly, the scowl vanished and a look of sad weariness took its place. Helga sighed.
"Sometimes." She admitted in a small voice he hardly recognized. "I've hated myself for not being able to tell you how I feel about you. And...even my own parents don't care about me. Sometimes I think...maybe I'm not...I don't know...GOOD enough to love!" Her voice broke on the last few words.
A single tear rolled down her cheek, glistening in the dimness as she lowered her head. Her hair fell forward to hide her face.
"Oh, Helga." Arnold said softly. Imagine that...thinking your own parents don't love you. Both of them were silent for a long moment, listening to the rushing sound of the water falling outside.
Yet another realization hit Arnold. Of course, if your PARENTS don't even care about you, how are you supposed to care about yourself? Or anyone else for that matter? But...she does.
He remembered telling Gerald about how her parents treated her, as though she were invisible half of the time. But still...he wasn't ready to believe that even Helga's parents were that uncaring. Arnold said gently, "I'm sure your parents care about you, even if they can't show it. And ...maybe they don't appreciate you, but...do you want to know what I see when I look at you?"
Slowly Helga raised her head, her hair covering one eye again, looking at him uncertainly.
"I see the girl who brought back my hat after I thought it was gone forever. The girl who got us everything we needed to build my Cityday parade float. I see a girl tough enough to take on any bully at school, and brave enough to come looking for ghost trains."
She gave him a very small smile. Encouraged, he continued. "Who always comes through when her friends really need her? Remember Mighty Pete? And what about Phoebe? You always stick up for her. I remember how you took care of her after she broke her leg."
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Helga-" Unconsciously wanting to reassure her, he put his hand on her shoulder. "You were there for me after Lila dumped me. And you tried to warn me about Summer. You've saved my life-not once, but twice. Once in the biodome. And once in that tree."
Her face slowly lightened as his words sank in. Then...she smiled at him. Arnold blinked. When she smiled like that, it changed her face completely. She looked like a different girl...and oddly familiar.
"I did, didn't I?"
"You sure did, Helga. You sure did."
They stared at each other long enough for Arnold to start feeling a little uncomfortable. Lifting his hand from her shoulder, he commented, "Hey, Helga, you know with your hair like that you remind me of...someone I...met..." He frowned thoughtfully. He almost knew it...
Helga gave him a half-smile. "Did she speak French, by any chance?" she said softly.
Arnold started. "Yeah, how did you....CECILE?"
She nodded sheepishly. "Uh, huh. I wanted to be close to you, any way that I could..."
Arnold couldn't speak. His dream girl...that wonderful, mysterious girl whom he'd spent so many hours thinking about...was none other than the girl right in front of him. No wonder it felt like I'd known her my whole life...and that she knew me, too. Why didn't I see it before?