"Here I am again." I said to the mound of dirt and small cross before me. "You know why I'm here. Of course you do. You're one of the few people that knew me best."
The cold wind whipped through the tree, scattering the scarlet, gold, and pumpkin orange leaves all around.
"In case you haven't figured it out, I'll tell you. I'm here because I love you, Tobias." I chuckled. "Ironic isn't it? I never said it while you were alive, but now here I am professing it to you in death. Now, even if you do hear me, it's not like you'll be able to do anything. You won't be able to say it back , or hold me, or-or even kiss me." A lump formed in my throat. Why was this so difficult.
"But that's not the only reason I'm here. I'm here to say goodbye. I never got time to say it to you in private, or while I was in a right mind. You knew I hated goodbyes, but I love you so much that here I am, saying it to you. In the words of Romeo and Juliet, 'good night, good night, parting in such sweet sorrow. That I say good night till it be 'marrow'. Yes, I have been reading poetry. As much as I hate it, it helps ease the pain. Of loosing you, of going on missions and the fear of losing others."
I took a deep breath of the crisp autumn air. It slipped down my throat like liquid silver.
"You and I, I mean, us, it kind of reminds me of Romeo and Juliet, only I can't be with you in death. I made a promise to you to stay alive, to keep fighting. I'm going to keep that promise, no doubt about it. I love you too much to not keep it." Without warning, the tears fell and made creeks over my face. "See? You're one of the only people I'll let see me cry. I won't even let my mom see my cry. And yes, you are a person, Tobias. Despite the feathery outside, you are a tender, loving person on the inside. Even thought I only get to see that for two hours at a time, it's still there. And I will treasure our short time together. The tight embrace, and those three times where we actually.....kissed." I sniffled, and wiped my face with my sleeve.
"So goodbye, Tobias. You know I'll never forget you, because I have to keep fighting. It hurts, but I have to. I love you, and good bye." I bent down and placed a very purple flower near the make-shift gravestone. Standing in silence, I stared at it, then slowly walked away.
As I had told Tobias, yes it would be hard. Yes, I would find times when I could not go on. But I will grow. I will go on. I have to keep fighting, to keep going on......for him. ~ ~ ~