Title: Behind the Scenes
Author: purpleatheist (cobbsc@ncssm.edu)
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Spoilers: PoA
Disclaimer: ::sigh:: Is this really necessary? I think it's quite obvious from the quality of my writing that I neither own these characters nor am any threat to the real owner.
Summary: Behind the scenes of PoA from Moony's POV. Kind of angsty, sappy, and something I couldn't help writing after re-reading PoA.
Feedback: You know the drill. It'd be nice, I don't get much, but I won't beg. At least tell me you read it.
I couldn't help the leap in my heart the first time I caught his scent.
Ever since I'd heard Sirius had escaped, my emotions had been in constant conflict. Hell, since Sirius had been sentenced to Azkaban I had been conflicted. I tried to convince myself he was guilty. I had convinced myself he was guilty. But when I closed my eyes every night I would remember our time together. At Hogwarts, before we were together and after we started dating in our fifth year. The few happy years we had before Voldemort. And try as I might, I couldn't come to the conclusion that all that had been a lie and Sirius had betrayed them - me.
Dumbledore asked me to come teach as soon as the news about Sirius had been released. I'm not sure if he was more worried that Sirius would come after me or that I would go after Sirius. I waited nervously those first few weeks, sitting up late into the night in my office, staring absently out the window, wondering if I was worrying or hoping. And that was why I couldn't tell why my heart was leaping, fear, anticipation, or a long-held hope that he was innocent and his love still held strong.
He knew I was here. I know he knew. In dog form he could smell me just as well as I could him with my werewolf-enhanced sense of smell. It was right after the incident with the Fat Lady that he contacted me. Late at night, the half-moon shining in the window, a small owl nearly ran into it in his haste. Sighing, I had opened the window, expecting some stupid junk mail, but it was a simple scrap of parchment with a few words scrawled hastily on it.
"Moony - you know I'm here. Don't reveal Padfoot for Harry's sake. You're still my mate."
I deciphered the note quickly enough. He didn't want me to tell Dumbledore he was animagi. I could understand why, they certainly weren't looking for a large, black dog, but it being for Harry's sake confused me. How could he care about Harry if he'd gotten James and Lily killed? The answer: he couldn't. I was now nearly convinced Sirius was innocent, and no, it didn't have anything to do with the endearment at the end. Well, maybe a little. After all, werewolves mate for life. It was nice to know he hadn't forgotten. So I didn't tell. I still sat late into the night in my office, wishing fervently for another scribbled note, in Sirius' distinct scrawl. The conflict was gone. He was still the Sirius I knew, that I'd fallen so desperately in love with, and my heart certainly couldn't forget it because it was aching for him.
He came to me the night before everything happened. I was asleep, again in the chair in my office, when the door was nudged open. A large, shaggy black dog stood there, staring at me. I quickly magicked the door shut and sat up. And there was Sirius, standing there, gaunt and pale, his robes torn and dirty. He'd never looked so beautiful to me.
"Remus, I-"
"Sirius, don't say anything." I looked into his eyes, filled with regret, fear, and tenderness. "I know. Come here." He took a step forward and I embraced him. He buried his face in my neck, breathing deeply.
"I've missed you, Moony, I've missed you so much. You can't even imagine - I though you'd never believe me, never forgive me."
"I never thought you could do that, even to Peter. And never, ever to James and Lily. And I knew you better than anyone."
"Thank you."
I broke away from our embrace and kissed him hungrily. He returned my sentiment. Our lovemaking was somehow tender and furious at the same time, leaving us both exhausted. He only lay with me a few minutes before rising, slipping into his robes, kissing me quickly on the lips, and whispering, "Love you, Remus," before changing into the fluffy dog and easing out into the hall.
He could've saved us a great deal of trouble if he'd told me what was going on then. But I guess he thought he could deal with it. The day flew by, and before I knew it I was in the Shrieking Shack defending my lover to my favorite students. We obviously kept our affections to a minimum, just a hug and an arm slid around his waist, but his eyes shone on me every time I spoke and I know mine did too. Then bloody Snape had to show up and ruin everything.
Luckily, it all turned out ok. I think I would've killed Snape if anything otherwise had happened. Thank the higher powers for Albus Dumbledore, the most understanding and perceptive wizard I have ever met. He let me resign. He told me what happened. And he let me catch up with my long-separated mate during Sirius' much deserved vacation/escape.
A scent flows through the room, shattering my thoughts and causing me to shiver. Moments later a voice follows. "Are you ok?" Sirius comes up behind me at the window, sliding his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. He looks so much better now. His hair is shiny and clean, cut much shorter and hanging free around his face, not quite shoulder length. The good food we've eaten while on 'vacation' has started to fill out his gaunt frame. His color is much better, and the sleep he's gotten with me in his bed has helped immensely. I think the non-sleep with me in his bed did a lot, too.
"Wonderful."
"Got a letter from Harry. He said his scar's been hurting."
"Damn," I muttered, sinking back into his embrace. "I was hoping we'd get a little longer. We go North, then?"
"Tomorrow morning. I'll send Hedwig back with the answer tonight."
"Which leaves the entire evening free," I couldn't help but point out.
"Insatiable, aren't you?"
I just turned and smiled at him until he kissed me, long and hard. "I love you, Moony."
"I love you too, Sirius. I never stopped."
Author: purpleatheist (cobbsc@ncssm.edu)
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Spoilers: PoA
Disclaimer: ::sigh:: Is this really necessary? I think it's quite obvious from the quality of my writing that I neither own these characters nor am any threat to the real owner.
Summary: Behind the scenes of PoA from Moony's POV. Kind of angsty, sappy, and something I couldn't help writing after re-reading PoA.
Feedback: You know the drill. It'd be nice, I don't get much, but I won't beg. At least tell me you read it.
I couldn't help the leap in my heart the first time I caught his scent.
Ever since I'd heard Sirius had escaped, my emotions had been in constant conflict. Hell, since Sirius had been sentenced to Azkaban I had been conflicted. I tried to convince myself he was guilty. I had convinced myself he was guilty. But when I closed my eyes every night I would remember our time together. At Hogwarts, before we were together and after we started dating in our fifth year. The few happy years we had before Voldemort. And try as I might, I couldn't come to the conclusion that all that had been a lie and Sirius had betrayed them - me.
Dumbledore asked me to come teach as soon as the news about Sirius had been released. I'm not sure if he was more worried that Sirius would come after me or that I would go after Sirius. I waited nervously those first few weeks, sitting up late into the night in my office, staring absently out the window, wondering if I was worrying or hoping. And that was why I couldn't tell why my heart was leaping, fear, anticipation, or a long-held hope that he was innocent and his love still held strong.
He knew I was here. I know he knew. In dog form he could smell me just as well as I could him with my werewolf-enhanced sense of smell. It was right after the incident with the Fat Lady that he contacted me. Late at night, the half-moon shining in the window, a small owl nearly ran into it in his haste. Sighing, I had opened the window, expecting some stupid junk mail, but it was a simple scrap of parchment with a few words scrawled hastily on it.
"Moony - you know I'm here. Don't reveal Padfoot for Harry's sake. You're still my mate."
I deciphered the note quickly enough. He didn't want me to tell Dumbledore he was animagi. I could understand why, they certainly weren't looking for a large, black dog, but it being for Harry's sake confused me. How could he care about Harry if he'd gotten James and Lily killed? The answer: he couldn't. I was now nearly convinced Sirius was innocent, and no, it didn't have anything to do with the endearment at the end. Well, maybe a little. After all, werewolves mate for life. It was nice to know he hadn't forgotten. So I didn't tell. I still sat late into the night in my office, wishing fervently for another scribbled note, in Sirius' distinct scrawl. The conflict was gone. He was still the Sirius I knew, that I'd fallen so desperately in love with, and my heart certainly couldn't forget it because it was aching for him.
He came to me the night before everything happened. I was asleep, again in the chair in my office, when the door was nudged open. A large, shaggy black dog stood there, staring at me. I quickly magicked the door shut and sat up. And there was Sirius, standing there, gaunt and pale, his robes torn and dirty. He'd never looked so beautiful to me.
"Remus, I-"
"Sirius, don't say anything." I looked into his eyes, filled with regret, fear, and tenderness. "I know. Come here." He took a step forward and I embraced him. He buried his face in my neck, breathing deeply.
"I've missed you, Moony, I've missed you so much. You can't even imagine - I though you'd never believe me, never forgive me."
"I never thought you could do that, even to Peter. And never, ever to James and Lily. And I knew you better than anyone."
"Thank you."
I broke away from our embrace and kissed him hungrily. He returned my sentiment. Our lovemaking was somehow tender and furious at the same time, leaving us both exhausted. He only lay with me a few minutes before rising, slipping into his robes, kissing me quickly on the lips, and whispering, "Love you, Remus," before changing into the fluffy dog and easing out into the hall.
He could've saved us a great deal of trouble if he'd told me what was going on then. But I guess he thought he could deal with it. The day flew by, and before I knew it I was in the Shrieking Shack defending my lover to my favorite students. We obviously kept our affections to a minimum, just a hug and an arm slid around his waist, but his eyes shone on me every time I spoke and I know mine did too. Then bloody Snape had to show up and ruin everything.
Luckily, it all turned out ok. I think I would've killed Snape if anything otherwise had happened. Thank the higher powers for Albus Dumbledore, the most understanding and perceptive wizard I have ever met. He let me resign. He told me what happened. And he let me catch up with my long-separated mate during Sirius' much deserved vacation/escape.
A scent flows through the room, shattering my thoughts and causing me to shiver. Moments later a voice follows. "Are you ok?" Sirius comes up behind me at the window, sliding his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. He looks so much better now. His hair is shiny and clean, cut much shorter and hanging free around his face, not quite shoulder length. The good food we've eaten while on 'vacation' has started to fill out his gaunt frame. His color is much better, and the sleep he's gotten with me in his bed has helped immensely. I think the non-sleep with me in his bed did a lot, too.
"Wonderful."
"Got a letter from Harry. He said his scar's been hurting."
"Damn," I muttered, sinking back into his embrace. "I was hoping we'd get a little longer. We go North, then?"
"Tomorrow morning. I'll send Hedwig back with the answer tonight."
"Which leaves the entire evening free," I couldn't help but point out.
"Insatiable, aren't you?"
I just turned and smiled at him until he kissed me, long and hard. "I love you, Moony."
"I love you too, Sirius. I never stopped."