Kako no Melody
a CCD fic
by Meimi --ksainttail@aol.com--
For Ali, Christmas '00.
------------------
The sunlight's drifting in through the windows, playing across
the floor. It's not strong enough to be distracting or to get in my
eyes, though...not as if it would matter. I know this piece backwards
and forwards, I can play it with the sun blinding me or with my eyes
closed...
The music is something that can carry me away in memories- my
fingers know well enough how to play it without me thinking about it.
So it leaves my mind free to wander and reminisce..since this piece
holds so many memories.
I can still remember her playing it that day, as her fingers
moved over the keys so gracefully. The pages filled with notes she
handed me right before the door was shut. And I can remember
afterwards, when I went home without saying a word to anyone- trying to
remember the beauty of the music, to engrave it in my mind until I
reached the piano room and locked myself inside. I can remember my
fingers moving slowly and clumsily over the keys, trying to learn it
for the next time I saw her...to play it as well as she had, so that
she would be pleased...
I remember now, Mother. How I played it for you flawlessly the
next time we met, while you sat on the windowseat beside the piano,
sunbeams dancing across the floor as the room was filled with the
music.
How you smiled when I played.
How did I forget before?
....but the times when I forgot don't matter now. What matters
is what I've discovered because of them.
I don't mean just Mother's smile...
...I mean you, too.
You, with the unchanging smile that hasn't grown any less
bright since those years past. With the infinite kindess you show
towards everyone...even those who are undeserving of it.
Who I have been following in jealously for most of my
life.
...I didn't see it then. How your smile was so kind...not just
towards Mother, but towards me as well. Me, who had never learned to
smile- you were just as kind to me still.
I won't see your smile for a while, since I'm leaving very
soon. I _will_ miss it- because your smile taught me so many things.
The same smile that filled me with rage and bitterness such a short
time ago, that made me think I could regain my most precious memory
by hating it...
It was only until I saw how you really were that I remembered
in the end.
I couldn't hate you after all.
Because it wasn't by hating your gentle smile that I could
remember hers...I found Mother's smile through you.
And you taught me something else as well.
Because of you, I won't live in the past anymore. Summer days
beneath the hiba arborvitae and Mother's smile make beautiful
memories...but that is all they are now. Simply memories. Something to
keep in your heart and smile over from time to time. Not something to
drown in.
Not anymore.
When I leave to pursue my dream- it's going to be a new country
for me...a fresh start. A place where I will live not in the past, but
for the present. I won't be bitter over the past anymore. Because the
next time the two of us meet, I want to have a smile as kind and as
happy as yours to greet you with.
But I won't throw away the past, either. I will remember from
time to time, and I'll smile over it in passing. And every
once in a great while, I will lock myself the piano room there, and
let the music carry me away to those distant memories that are so
suprisingly vivid...carry me through the gateway to the past that this
piece always manages to open.
I will remember a sunlit summer that, despite being so short,
holds so many wonderful thoughts dear to me. I will remember the
puddles we splashed through in the rain, the wind whipping past as we
galloped over green hills on our ponies...
I will remember the shade of the tree...and everything that
happened there. The branches that were my refuge in my sadness. An
outstretched hand and a smile. The silver moon glowing quietly down on
the two of us as we talked into the night, and what was said.
*"Hey...Let's be friends!"*
And I will remember the rustling of Mother's kimono as
she came over the hill to greet both of us, her clear laugh as she
watched us both...and her gentle smile as she looked down on me.
And as my fingers find the final keys to end this song, I
find myself remembering shining blue eyes and a golden smile.
Along with the other memories, I will carry your smile in my
heart as well.
Nokoru-kun.
------------------------------
"I didn't notice you come in."
He shrugged slightly and leaned against the piano; smile as
brilliant as ever. "You seemed very absorbed in your playing; I wasn't
about to stop you...that was a lovely piece."
His fingers brushed the smooth keys once more in a farewell
gesture, then shut the piano. "My mother wrote it. A long time ago."
He closed his eyes in thought once more, and then opened them
again to focus on that smile. Committing that smile to memory and
engraving it on his heart.
Their smiles were so much alike, somehow. Both gentle and kind,
and perhaps...just the tiniest bit sad while being so brilliant.
He would remember them both as he played...
Their smiles lying in between the notes of this melody of the
past.
a CCD fic
by Meimi --ksainttail@aol.com--
For Ali, Christmas '00.
------------------
The sunlight's drifting in through the windows, playing across
the floor. It's not strong enough to be distracting or to get in my
eyes, though...not as if it would matter. I know this piece backwards
and forwards, I can play it with the sun blinding me or with my eyes
closed...
The music is something that can carry me away in memories- my
fingers know well enough how to play it without me thinking about it.
So it leaves my mind free to wander and reminisce..since this piece
holds so many memories.
I can still remember her playing it that day, as her fingers
moved over the keys so gracefully. The pages filled with notes she
handed me right before the door was shut. And I can remember
afterwards, when I went home without saying a word to anyone- trying to
remember the beauty of the music, to engrave it in my mind until I
reached the piano room and locked myself inside. I can remember my
fingers moving slowly and clumsily over the keys, trying to learn it
for the next time I saw her...to play it as well as she had, so that
she would be pleased...
I remember now, Mother. How I played it for you flawlessly the
next time we met, while you sat on the windowseat beside the piano,
sunbeams dancing across the floor as the room was filled with the
music.
How you smiled when I played.
How did I forget before?
....but the times when I forgot don't matter now. What matters
is what I've discovered because of them.
I don't mean just Mother's smile...
...I mean you, too.
You, with the unchanging smile that hasn't grown any less
bright since those years past. With the infinite kindess you show
towards everyone...even those who are undeserving of it.
Who I have been following in jealously for most of my
life.
...I didn't see it then. How your smile was so kind...not just
towards Mother, but towards me as well. Me, who had never learned to
smile- you were just as kind to me still.
I won't see your smile for a while, since I'm leaving very
soon. I _will_ miss it- because your smile taught me so many things.
The same smile that filled me with rage and bitterness such a short
time ago, that made me think I could regain my most precious memory
by hating it...
It was only until I saw how you really were that I remembered
in the end.
I couldn't hate you after all.
Because it wasn't by hating your gentle smile that I could
remember hers...I found Mother's smile through you.
And you taught me something else as well.
Because of you, I won't live in the past anymore. Summer days
beneath the hiba arborvitae and Mother's smile make beautiful
memories...but that is all they are now. Simply memories. Something to
keep in your heart and smile over from time to time. Not something to
drown in.
Not anymore.
When I leave to pursue my dream- it's going to be a new country
for me...a fresh start. A place where I will live not in the past, but
for the present. I won't be bitter over the past anymore. Because the
next time the two of us meet, I want to have a smile as kind and as
happy as yours to greet you with.
But I won't throw away the past, either. I will remember from
time to time, and I'll smile over it in passing. And every
once in a great while, I will lock myself the piano room there, and
let the music carry me away to those distant memories that are so
suprisingly vivid...carry me through the gateway to the past that this
piece always manages to open.
I will remember a sunlit summer that, despite being so short,
holds so many wonderful thoughts dear to me. I will remember the
puddles we splashed through in the rain, the wind whipping past as we
galloped over green hills on our ponies...
I will remember the shade of the tree...and everything that
happened there. The branches that were my refuge in my sadness. An
outstretched hand and a smile. The silver moon glowing quietly down on
the two of us as we talked into the night, and what was said.
*"Hey...Let's be friends!"*
And I will remember the rustling of Mother's kimono as
she came over the hill to greet both of us, her clear laugh as she
watched us both...and her gentle smile as she looked down on me.
And as my fingers find the final keys to end this song, I
find myself remembering shining blue eyes and a golden smile.
Along with the other memories, I will carry your smile in my
heart as well.
Nokoru-kun.
------------------------------
"I didn't notice you come in."
He shrugged slightly and leaned against the piano; smile as
brilliant as ever. "You seemed very absorbed in your playing; I wasn't
about to stop you...that was a lovely piece."
His fingers brushed the smooth keys once more in a farewell
gesture, then shut the piano. "My mother wrote it. A long time ago."
He closed his eyes in thought once more, and then opened them
again to focus on that smile. Committing that smile to memory and
engraving it on his heart.
Their smiles were so much alike, somehow. Both gentle and kind,
and perhaps...just the tiniest bit sad while being so brilliant.
He would remember them both as he played...
Their smiles lying in between the notes of this melody of the
past.