Kidnapping
Part 4 : le souris triche
Carmen usually relaxes me, but I am scared stiff. He wants to kill me, this maniac wants to kill me. And he makes it a joke of riding by the agency. I don't want to die, but I am prepared to die if I must.
I figure he will torture me though, I know I will probably reveal something about the agency I shouldn't. Not during the torture, but if I sleep after it. I talk in my sleep sometimes, especially after traumatic, I only know this because my house mates thought it would be cute to tape me, after I was mugged last year. To prove to me I talk in my sleep.I wish my house mates should grow up sometimes, especially Jaden, we're all in our thirties now. But why am I worrying over whether -or- not they will ever grow up. I am about die here. I wish I could open the door handle, and just jump out, it would hurt a little but I would be free.
What am I thinking, Arnaud would just come after me again. Damn it, why hadn't I just stayed with the Irs, I wouldn't have to worry about terrorists, just insane people who could easily be stopped by the police. Not like I was ever happy there. But I am defintely not happy to be working at the agency this moment. Why do I have to die the mouse, why was I never able to be the lion, my mother said I could be.
After the incident when I was nine, my mother said I had to hide behind the mouse exterior, as she does. Why did you make me listen to her, God? I should of been the lion, especially after high school, I should of demanded more. Then maybe my dad would have told me before last year, I had been accepted to Art school, and I could have married Claudia by now, and have a family. There is so much I have been cheated out of. Now, I am here with this raving lunatic, who has no regard for anyone. Why does he have to kidnapp me again? This is the second time, last time I almost got blown up. And this time there is no telling, what have I done to deserve this.
I am not mad at you, God, I just wish you would intervene here, I am disappointed, more in myself then you. I had so much potential, why have I failed myself, why must everyone help tighten my noose of destruction. Why is everyone out to harm me in some way? Why must they find me amusing?
I frown deeply, I squint and try to look at these surroundings, I know this road eventually turns south, I have a feeling by the time we get to where ever we are going, I won't know which direction we are going. Arnuad probably wants it that way.
I curse myself, mentally, Albert, you are a fool, you always will be. Why have you ever believed in hope anyway, you've known all along, there is no such thing as hope, and that is the cross God has given you to bear.
I sigh, Arnaud takes another sharp turn, my right shoulder is really throbbing now, and I can not feel my wrists anymore because of the ropes. Maybe I should concentrate on ways to show him I can behave, maybe he will let me live longer.
Part 4 : le souris triche
Carmen usually relaxes me, but I am scared stiff. He wants to kill me, this maniac wants to kill me. And he makes it a joke of riding by the agency. I don't want to die, but I am prepared to die if I must.
I figure he will torture me though, I know I will probably reveal something about the agency I shouldn't. Not during the torture, but if I sleep after it. I talk in my sleep sometimes, especially after traumatic, I only know this because my house mates thought it would be cute to tape me, after I was mugged last year. To prove to me I talk in my sleep.I wish my house mates should grow up sometimes, especially Jaden, we're all in our thirties now. But why am I worrying over whether -or- not they will ever grow up. I am about die here. I wish I could open the door handle, and just jump out, it would hurt a little but I would be free.
What am I thinking, Arnaud would just come after me again. Damn it, why hadn't I just stayed with the Irs, I wouldn't have to worry about terrorists, just insane people who could easily be stopped by the police. Not like I was ever happy there. But I am defintely not happy to be working at the agency this moment. Why do I have to die the mouse, why was I never able to be the lion, my mother said I could be.
After the incident when I was nine, my mother said I had to hide behind the mouse exterior, as she does. Why did you make me listen to her, God? I should of been the lion, especially after high school, I should of demanded more. Then maybe my dad would have told me before last year, I had been accepted to Art school, and I could have married Claudia by now, and have a family. There is so much I have been cheated out of. Now, I am here with this raving lunatic, who has no regard for anyone. Why does he have to kidnapp me again? This is the second time, last time I almost got blown up. And this time there is no telling, what have I done to deserve this.
I am not mad at you, God, I just wish you would intervene here, I am disappointed, more in myself then you. I had so much potential, why have I failed myself, why must everyone help tighten my noose of destruction. Why is everyone out to harm me in some way? Why must they find me amusing?
I frown deeply, I squint and try to look at these surroundings, I know this road eventually turns south, I have a feeling by the time we get to where ever we are going, I won't know which direction we are going. Arnuad probably wants it that way.
I curse myself, mentally, Albert, you are a fool, you always will be. Why have you ever believed in hope anyway, you've known all along, there is no such thing as hope, and that is the cross God has given you to bear.
I sigh, Arnaud takes another sharp turn, my right shoulder is really throbbing now, and I can not feel my wrists anymore because of the ropes. Maybe I should concentrate on ways to show him I can behave, maybe he will let me live longer.