Disclaimer: They are not mine to torture and maim as I see fit. I did anyway, but ya'll ain't gonna sue me.....right?? Hey, what are these lawyers doing here? I've never seen you before. You represent WHO??? They AREN'T MINE!!! I swear!!! ::is dragged kicking and screaming to court, until they find out I have no money, and I'm dumped in the alleyway behind the courthouse to be gnawed on by rats....
Y'know, I am the perfect example of why evil muses, sugar, and computers should NEVER be mixed.
Just read the story.
*******************
"BOYS!!" Mystique's angry yell echoed down the empty hall. "Answer me, NOW!!!"
At the end of the hall, crouched in the closet of Fred's room, Lance and Todd looked at each other.
"Should we answer her?" whispered Todd.
"Depends." Lance whispered back.
"On what?" Todd asked, awaiting the advice of the older boy.
"On how much pain you want to be in. Mystique's gonna skin us alive!" Lance answered.
"Leaving Pietro there wasn't such a bad thing to do....and we are supposed to be the bad guys." Todd said thoughtfully.
" What we did to Pietro wasn't the bad thing, what I did to Fred WAS!" Lance hissed back.
"Fred?" Todd looked around the tiny closet, noticing for the first time that Fred was not there. " Where IS Fred?"
Lance sighed, briefly wondering why there were so many idiots in Bayville. The X-Geeks, Todd, everyone at school... It was mind-boggling that that many empty minds were in such a small area, and HE was the only one to notice. " Do you remember when Sabretooth showed up, a few hours ago?"
"Yeah, right after we left Pietro stuck to the freezer." Todd snickered. "He thought it was funny."
"Yeah. He had that Harley with him, the one he stole from the Hell's Angels. I kinda told Fred that Sabretooth said he could take it for a spin down Richardson Avenue." Lance explained carefully.
"But isn't the Holy Grail, that biker bar, on Richardson Avenue?"
"Yep."
Understanding dawned on Todd. The Hell's Angels hung out at the Holy Grail. When they saw their stolen bike, they were, more likely than not, going to kill someone.
"Fred's gonna get it." Todd said.
" Lance! Todd! Fred!" Mystique's voice sounded much closer this time. "I'm giving you ONE MORE chance..."
After a long moment of silence, a loud sniffing could be heard from the hall. Sabretooth's gruff voice said, " Two of 'em are in there. I can smell their fear."
Two sets of footsteps, one a heavy clumping of boots, the other the soft click of heels, made their way across the candy-wrapped strewn wasteland known as Fred's room. The closet door slammed open, revealing two menacing silhouettes, starkly dark against the sudden brightness.
Todd shrieked in fear.
"Where is my bike?" Sabretooth demanded, obviously furious.
" I dunno." Lance said in a brief moment of bravery, shrugging to add the effect of innocence.
Sabretooth glanced down at him. He knew the little squirt was lying, but he had to give him credit for trying. He picked up Todd and slammed him against the wall, holding him up by his throat.
"Spill it, Kermit."
Todd's eyes grew wide, then began to bulge from his head as Sabretooth's fingers cut off the flow of blood to his brain.
"Fred." Todd croaked. "Fred took it....Richardson Avenue..." Todd landed on the floor with a thump as Sabretooth dropped him abruptly as he ran out the door to save his bike. Todd slumped against the wall, thankful to be alive. Lance was trying to use the opportunity to sneak out the door when Mystique turned to the two boys.
"You still must be punished for what you did to Pietro." Mystique said coldly. She was enjoying herself.
"But... But we didn't do anything." Lance protested.
"Exactly. You left him floundering about. As amusing as it was, as your caretaker, I cannot allow that sort of behavior from you. As punishment...." She paused dramatically. Lance felt like the DUM DUM DUM music that sounds when supervillians reveal their evil plots should be playing.
" You must clean Fred's bathroom." Mystique said, smiling.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Lance yelled. Todd's eyes grew huge inside his skull, and if he weren't already in danger of passing out, he would have yelled, too. Both Lance and Todd looked across the room where the door to Fred's bathroom loomed, larger than life. A distinct stench wafted from the offending door.
"But we had CHILLI last night!!" Lance protested weakly. He knew there was no arguing. Once Mystique decided to torture an unsuspecting teen-ager, there was no turning back. That's why her principal-cover worked so well.
Mystique smiled again, and headed out the door. Jeopardy was about to come on. Your education is never complete, that was her motto. You learned so many facts on Jeopardy. She paused, and called over her shoulder, " And it had better be SPOTLESS!!!"
********************
To Be Continued.....
Will Fred be killed by bikers?
Will Sabretooth get his stolen bike back?
And how did Pietro's tongue get frozen, anyhow?
These and other pressing questions will be answered next time on.....
THE FROZEN TONGUE!!!!
roll cheesey soap-opera music.
*****
Reviews are greatly appreciated. If this is the absolute worst piece of literary garbage you have ever had the misfortune of stumbling across, tell me. If it is the absolute best written work you have ever read in your long, prosperous life as a researcher of the literary giants throughout history, I think you need to check yourself into the nearest mental institution.
*
The humble appreciation from your hostess for the evening,
Persephone
Y'know, I am the perfect example of why evil muses, sugar, and computers should NEVER be mixed.
Just read the story.
*******************
"BOYS!!" Mystique's angry yell echoed down the empty hall. "Answer me, NOW!!!"
At the end of the hall, crouched in the closet of Fred's room, Lance and Todd looked at each other.
"Should we answer her?" whispered Todd.
"Depends." Lance whispered back.
"On what?" Todd asked, awaiting the advice of the older boy.
"On how much pain you want to be in. Mystique's gonna skin us alive!" Lance answered.
"Leaving Pietro there wasn't such a bad thing to do....and we are supposed to be the bad guys." Todd said thoughtfully.
" What we did to Pietro wasn't the bad thing, what I did to Fred WAS!" Lance hissed back.
"Fred?" Todd looked around the tiny closet, noticing for the first time that Fred was not there. " Where IS Fred?"
Lance sighed, briefly wondering why there were so many idiots in Bayville. The X-Geeks, Todd, everyone at school... It was mind-boggling that that many empty minds were in such a small area, and HE was the only one to notice. " Do you remember when Sabretooth showed up, a few hours ago?"
"Yeah, right after we left Pietro stuck to the freezer." Todd snickered. "He thought it was funny."
"Yeah. He had that Harley with him, the one he stole from the Hell's Angels. I kinda told Fred that Sabretooth said he could take it for a spin down Richardson Avenue." Lance explained carefully.
"But isn't the Holy Grail, that biker bar, on Richardson Avenue?"
"Yep."
Understanding dawned on Todd. The Hell's Angels hung out at the Holy Grail. When they saw their stolen bike, they were, more likely than not, going to kill someone.
"Fred's gonna get it." Todd said.
" Lance! Todd! Fred!" Mystique's voice sounded much closer this time. "I'm giving you ONE MORE chance..."
After a long moment of silence, a loud sniffing could be heard from the hall. Sabretooth's gruff voice said, " Two of 'em are in there. I can smell their fear."
Two sets of footsteps, one a heavy clumping of boots, the other the soft click of heels, made their way across the candy-wrapped strewn wasteland known as Fred's room. The closet door slammed open, revealing two menacing silhouettes, starkly dark against the sudden brightness.
Todd shrieked in fear.
"Where is my bike?" Sabretooth demanded, obviously furious.
" I dunno." Lance said in a brief moment of bravery, shrugging to add the effect of innocence.
Sabretooth glanced down at him. He knew the little squirt was lying, but he had to give him credit for trying. He picked up Todd and slammed him against the wall, holding him up by his throat.
"Spill it, Kermit."
Todd's eyes grew wide, then began to bulge from his head as Sabretooth's fingers cut off the flow of blood to his brain.
"Fred." Todd croaked. "Fred took it....Richardson Avenue..." Todd landed on the floor with a thump as Sabretooth dropped him abruptly as he ran out the door to save his bike. Todd slumped against the wall, thankful to be alive. Lance was trying to use the opportunity to sneak out the door when Mystique turned to the two boys.
"You still must be punished for what you did to Pietro." Mystique said coldly. She was enjoying herself.
"But... But we didn't do anything." Lance protested.
"Exactly. You left him floundering about. As amusing as it was, as your caretaker, I cannot allow that sort of behavior from you. As punishment...." She paused dramatically. Lance felt like the DUM DUM DUM music that sounds when supervillians reveal their evil plots should be playing.
" You must clean Fred's bathroom." Mystique said, smiling.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Lance yelled. Todd's eyes grew huge inside his skull, and if he weren't already in danger of passing out, he would have yelled, too. Both Lance and Todd looked across the room where the door to Fred's bathroom loomed, larger than life. A distinct stench wafted from the offending door.
"But we had CHILLI last night!!" Lance protested weakly. He knew there was no arguing. Once Mystique decided to torture an unsuspecting teen-ager, there was no turning back. That's why her principal-cover worked so well.
Mystique smiled again, and headed out the door. Jeopardy was about to come on. Your education is never complete, that was her motto. You learned so many facts on Jeopardy. She paused, and called over her shoulder, " And it had better be SPOTLESS!!!"
********************
To Be Continued.....
Will Fred be killed by bikers?
Will Sabretooth get his stolen bike back?
And how did Pietro's tongue get frozen, anyhow?
These and other pressing questions will be answered next time on.....
THE FROZEN TONGUE!!!!
roll cheesey soap-opera music.
*****
Reviews are greatly appreciated. If this is the absolute worst piece of literary garbage you have ever had the misfortune of stumbling across, tell me. If it is the absolute best written work you have ever read in your long, prosperous life as a researcher of the literary giants throughout history, I think you need to check yourself into the nearest mental institution.
*
The humble appreciation from your hostess for the evening,
Persephone