Chapter Four
Xanatos awoke with a scream, as he sat up. His head was swimming, and he lay back down. He gasped heavily.
"Shh…Xanatos. You're okay, here in the Healer's Wing." A youthful face hovered over him, dressed in the pale blue of the healers.
"Sade?" He blinked drawing her name from his memory. "Why does my head hurt?"
"You smacked it? Remember?" She smiled.
"Xanatos?" Another face loomed into his vision.
"Master Windu? What's going I…" He trailed off, his head growing heavy in a flux of pain. It hadn't taken him long to figure out that the pain was hardly all physically. It was the ache of a torn training bond. That must mean that something had happened to Obi-Wan.
"Obi-Wan?" He asked, sitting up, despite himself.
"No, not Obi-Wan. He's fine." Sade reassured him, laying him back down.
"It was Master Jericho." Mace Windu spoke softly. "His transport was attacked, and destroyed. There were no survivors."
"Jericho?" Xanatos absently said.
"His mind was torn from your and Obi-Wan's bond, leaving you both unconscious. Others felt it too. It was all mind healers on that craft. The Force repercussions left most with just a minor headache. Unfortunately for you, the training bond has been dissolved between you and Obi-Wan." Sade had a lovely set of amber eyes, but were looking sympathetically at Xanatos. In his prone state, Xanatos couldn't fight the solace. He looked at the ceiling blankly.
Mace and Sade exchanged looks, and then he spoke. "Obi-Wan is here with you, Xanatos."
Xanatos didn't reply. The Force had tricked him. Lulled him into believing that things would return to some state of normalcy. But it was just out of his reach. The Force kept taking people he loved from him, and offering nothing in return.
His bottom lip trembled, and he shut his eyes.
"We'll be back, Xanatos." Sade said. Xanatos heard them both leave, and then opened his eyes. His head fell to one side of his bed, and he saw Obi-Wan laying in one along side of him. Obi-Wan eyes were out of focus, and he didn't turn to look at Xanatos.
"You both promised you could help me."
Xanatos closed his eyes. "You shouldn't have listened to us."
"I'm sorry I did."
Xanatos woke up in the middle of the night. He propped himself up in the bed, and sighed. He could never keep his promises, especially when they really mattered. He looked across the room at the sleeping Obi-Wan. The boy appeared to be resting easily, but Xanatos knew better than to trust outward appearances. He was probably suffering the same nightmares.
His whole life was a nightmare.
He reached over to the bedside table to get the cup of water that Sade left for him. He misjudged where the glass was, and ended up spilling it. The water poured over the edge of the table, and onto the floor. Xanatos sat the glass up, and swore under his breath.
Nearly throwing the table's drawer open, Xanatos searched in the low light for a towel to clean up the mess. The glisten of metal caught his eye and he froze. Nestled in the corner of the drawer, was a blade. His picked it up gingerly, careful not to nick his fingers.
It was a sharp blade from a scalpel. Why it was in the drawer stood out to him. No one would leave this laying around.
He was so close, he realized. It was all within his reach. Maybe this was a Force omen. He could just do it now, and get it over with. He brought the blade to within a breaths distance from the scars on his wrist.
"No, Master, no."
Obi-Wan's voice broke his phased out state. He nearly dropped the blade when he jumped. His head whipped over to Obi-Wan's bed. The boy was asleep. He was talking in his sleep. Xanatos blinked his eyes as he suddenly comprehended what he was about to do.
He had to hardly aim to get the blade in the trash can across the expanse of the room.
Xanatos looked back to Obi-Wan, listening to the boy's soft voice again.
"He's going to come back."
Who? Xanatos thought. Who, Obi-Wan?
"I don't want him to hurt you anymore."
Xanatos remembered what Jericho had told him, how Obi-Wan's memories had been taken. They're still there, Xanatos hypothesized, They're just hidden. If I could get to them, then we could find out who is responsible for all of this.
The bond; could it really be completely broken? Dropping into light meditations, Xanatos tried to touch the dormant, he hoped, training bond. He drifted along the Force, trying to reach out to Obi-Wan. He felt close, so close.
A darkness suddenly caused him to pull out of meditation. It hurt. The darkness had burnt him, in warning. Was that darkness surronding Obi-Wan? Xanatos winced against his aching head, and leaned against the wall behind his bed.
Tomorrow was fast approaching, and he would need all of the strength he had left to get through it. Sliding under the covers, Xanatos settled down and stared at the ceiling.
Obi-Wan rolled onto his side, and his eyes fluttered open. He looked across the room, watching as Xanatos pulled on his boots. They were leaving then. Xanatos finished putting on his boots, then saw Obi-Wan was looking at him. Xanatos blinked in response, then looked away.
"The healers have decided we are physically able to leave," Xanatos paused, still looking away from Obi-Wan. "We're scheduled to meet with Jericho's replacement later. You should get dressed."
Obi-Wan sat up, and nodded. He glanced at the side table to his bed, and noted that his clothes were placed there. His cloak hung lazily over the back of a chair. He glanced back to see Xanatos pulling on his cloak, and readying to leave.
"I'll be back." He mumbled, and quickly left the confines of the room.
Obi-Wan sighed, and reached for his clothes. The healers had dressed him in a light pair of sleep pants and tunic. He couldn't remember when they had, but he remembered that they had. He vaguely recalled anything that had happened, except that his head hurt and he was left empty again.
Finished dressing, Obi-Wan sat back on the bed, and watched his hands. He was unsure of what to do. He searched the room for a moment, for no reason. He studied the walls, the ceiling, the beds, the tables. His eyes stopped when he reached the trash can. It wasn't a regular recycler. It must have multiple purposes if it was free to move about the room. Something was in there, he realized. He quickly moved, and brought the container back to his bed. It was empty, except for a small metal scalpel blade at the bottom. It was odd to find a metal blade, Obi-Wan noted. Putting the canister back on the ground, and sliding it across the floor, he looked the blade over. He couldn't place where it would be used, but it could be useful. Sliding off on of his books, he slid the blade between the heel and the sole. He could hide it there until he found some use for it.
"Hello?"
Obi-Wan turned to the doorway. A red headed man stood there, dressed in the robes of a mind healer. Obi-Wan cocked his head, but didn't offer a reply.
"You must be Obi-Wan." The man smiled. Obi-Wan suddenly recognized him, and remembered his as one of the healers that had been dismissed during the…He frowned, and looked away.
The man, his smile turning into a grimace, took a step closer. "I didn't mean to upset you, but I've come here with a purpose. I'm Cherek, and I'll be taking over Jericho's work with you. Where is your Master?"
Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. His Master was dead, he wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut. He kept his eyes planted on an empty glass across the room.
Cherek frowned further, and walked over to Obi-Wan's bed. "Please, please, listen to me. I know Jericho promised to help you, but he…well, you know. I, well, I…" He tried to smile. "I'm not very good at this, am I?"
Obi-Wan was silent.
Cherek sat next to Obi-Wan. "Can you accept my promise?"
Obi-Wan still didn't reply.
"On Tres-elle, silence is an answer for yes." Cherek tried to smile, and reached out to touch his shoulder.
Obi-Wan jumped off the bed, and stalked away. "Leave me alone."
Cherek stared at him. "Obi-Wan, please, I…"
Obi-Wan just stared at him.
From the doorway, Xanatos appeared. He blinked at Obi-Wan, then swept the room and saw Cherek sitting on Obi-Wan's empty bed. Xanatos, looking between Obi-Wan and Cherek, let out a low breath.
"You came early." Xanatos forehead creased. "You shouldn't have come early."
Cherek stood from the bed, "I only came for your benefit. You weren't here, and I thought…"
"You thought nothing. Get out, and do as he says. We will meet together later." Xanatos seemed to growl. Obi-Wan blinked at the sudden change. Cherek merely nodded, and ducked out of the room. Xanatos watched him go with slitted eyes.
"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan." He said, sighing and looking away from the door.
Obi-Wan shrugged lightly.
Xanatos half smiled. "Let's go. Get some breakfast."
Obi-Wan nodded. "Sure."
As they moved through the halls, Obi-Wan kept his eyes low. He saw that Xanatos did mostly the same; avoiding other's gazes and appearing like shadows. Obi-Wan started to wonder where Xanatos had went before he returned to send Cherek away. He watched as the dark headed man's shoulders slumped as he thought, before turning into the dining hall.
Xanatos paused, surveying the room idly. "Get a table, and I'll get us something to eat. Okay?"
Obi-Wan nodded, and found a lone table in a far corner. He thought for a moment he saw Bant sitting with his other friends, but decided not to join them. He wanted to be alone. They were probably pitying him, and he didn't need that.
He had taken a seat and tried to look nonchalant. Xanatos returned shortly after, carrying two trays. He had noticed Obi-Wan's friends casting gazes at him, and decided to bring it up as carefully as possible.
"Isn't that your friend Bant?" He asked.
Obi-Wan nodded, but looked intently at his food.
"Have you said hello to her?" Xanatos said.
Obi-Wan shrugged. "She thought I was dead for so long, and I thought that it would be easier if I kept it that way."
Sighing, Xanatos didn't reply.
The companions ate in silence, until they were interrupted by a soft voice wearing healer's tunics.
"Cherek said he thought you would be here." Sade smiled, sitting next to Xanatos.
Xanatos gave a half hearted smile in return. "I doubt Cherek has thought at all this morning."
Sade shook her head at him then turned to Obi-Wan. "How are you Obi-Wan? Is your head feeling all right? We checked out Xanatos this morning, but you left before we could clear you."
"I'm fine." Obi-Wan answered.
"Good," Sade stood. "And Xanatos I know you dislike Cherek, but can you try to get along."
"I can try." Xanatos nodded. "I can't guarantee I will succeed, though."
Grinning briefly at Xanatos, then giving Obi-Wan the same reassuring look, Sade left the cafeteria. Xanatos let his eyes follow her, Obi-Wan noticed, before he looked back to his tray.
Obi-Wan glanced over at Bant's table, and internally winced. Maybe he was being too hard on himself. It would be good for some companionship. He shifted his gaze back to the table, and watched Xanatos eat.
Xanatos looked tired. His face was more pale than normal, and his eyes were not as sharp as usual. Obi-Wan momentarily thought about his appearance, but put it out of his mind.
It took him a second to see that Xanatos was looking at him too. When he did notice, Xanatos offered a small smile. Obi-Wan blinked before looking away again. Xanatos suggested that they go over and talk to Obi-Wan's friends again, but again Obi-Wan disagreed. They left shortly after.
Xanatos was disappointed in himself, and in Obi-Wan. Things were not going smoothly, and now Cherek was going to rub his nose in it. Cherek was a failed Padawan, that ended up in the healers ranks. When Xanatos had been in the advanced classes at the Temple, he had been in same student group with Cherek. Cherek was a jerk, and Xanatos had thought very little of him. Xanatos, in fact, still thought little of him.
"We're going to meet in the gardens." Xanatos announced, as they neared the very gardens he spoke of. He didn't see Obi-Wan nod, or look up in recognition, but knew he heard.
Cherek was there, and looked very pleased with himself. Cherek was going to enjoy every minute of it. "Hello Xan. Hello Obi-Wan. Let's forget about this morning, all right."
"You can address me as Knight MesToles, Cherek. Only my friends can call me Xan." Xanatos nearly hissed.
Cherek reeled, but managed a small nod. "All right. I guess that's why I haven't heard very many people call you that."
Xanatos glared, but stood silent. Obi-Wan stirred at his side. Xanatos looked over at the boy, and gave a small smile. Cherek had started off down the path, not waiting for them. Xanatos sighed, and started after.
Cherek wasn't very helpful. He was only there because his seniority was suddenly much greater than it had been when Jericho and the others were still around. He was constantly asking questions that had already been answered, and making comments that were pushing Xanatos to the edge.
Xanatos' grip on his emotions had been loosened to a point where he had only a small grasp on them. He had left Obi-Wan that morning to get his head, and came back to only lose any ground he may have gained. Cherek wasn't going to help him much, and that was going to fray his nerves further.
"Xanatos?"
Xanatos blinked out of his thoughts, and stared at Cherek. "What?"
"I asked you a question." Cherek replied.
Xanatos stood off of the grass, and shook his head. "I'm tired of your questions."
Cherek sighed. "Sit down, Xanatos."
"I will not!" Xanatos shouted. He felt the anger climb into his throat, and it would not fade away. Something inside him snapped when Cherek stood, and tried to put a hand on his shoulder.
Xanatos struck back, knocking Cherek's hand away from him. Cherek stared at him, shocked. Obi-Wan, wary of the actions of the adults around him, pushed off of the ground and took a few steps away from the two.
"Xanatos, calm down." Cherek's tone did not warrant calm.
Xanatos shook his head. "You can't make decisions for me."
Cherek reached for him again, and Xanatos hit a direct punch to his jaw. Cherek stumbled back, cradling his mouth. Obi-Wan stared Xanatos, not knowing whether to run or stay.
"You wont get away with this." Cherek mumbled, still holding his jaw.
Xanatos clenched his fists. "I don't plan on it."
Out of no where, two knights appeared. They'd seen Xanatos strike, and grabbed him from behind. Xanatos quickly brushed them off, and left with the knights as escorts. Obi-Wan was let standing with a bleeding Cherek, and an approaching Master Windu.
"Wait," Windu called. Xanatos paused, and the knights made him turn. "What happened here?"
Xanatos stood, with a piercing stare at Cherek. Cherek fumbled for words, but managed to grate out that Xanatos had struck him without provocation. Xanatos felt the words were lies, but didn't speak up. Something had made him over irritable, and Obi-Wan was suffering at the cost.
Windu dismissed him to quarters, and Xanatos didn't offer any objections.
As Obi-Wan watched Xanatos go, he couldn't help but tremble slightly. Xanatos was acting out of sorts. Not that he didn't have a right too. With a bleeding bond and a weakling apprentice, he was liable to do something drastic. Obi-Wan look down at the grass, and half wondered if Xanatos did this to get rid of him.
"Obi-Wan?" Obi-Wan recognized Sade as she crossed the grass to where he was standing. Two Senior Padawans had seen the conflict, and were giving their best report to Master Windu. "What happened?"
Obi-Wan blinked a little. "I don't know."
Sade sighed, and put a warm hand on his shoulder. She listened to a little of what was being said around them, but it just turned into white noise that swirled about Obi-Wan. He was lost in his own empty thoughts, and didn't here the arrangements that were made to stay at Sade's until things had been straightened out.
Obi-Wan followed blindly. Xanatos was trying to get rid of him. No one wanted him now that he was broken. Things weren't going to change. Xanatos was right in trying to get rid of him. He was worthless. He remembered when Xanatos had shown him, and told him, about his attempted suicide. It made sense now. The only way to escape this failure was to give up. And that was the only option left.
Xanatos wasn't hungry when noon meal came. He had been suspended to his quarters, and ordered to keep away from Cherek. He had admitted to letting his emotions take hold of him when Master Windu had questioned him about the events. The master had been lenient, saying that the events that had occurred as of late had been over-stressful, but he had expected more of him.
When Xanatos had quietly questioned whether or not Obi-Wan would be returned to him, Mace only managed a curt nod. Having no specifics, Xanatos had no idea when that would happen, but was somewhat pleased that he would have a chance to apologize.
Master Windu left, and Xanatos was alone.
He numbly went to his desk, and slumped in the chair. He could see the mark on the table where he had struck his head, and ran his fingers across it. He glanced at the comm screen, and frowned. He traced his fingers along the edge and replayed the last words he had with Jericho.
He slammed his fist against the desk. There was something behind all this, and he was just too stupid to figure it out!
"Stupid…" He hissed, reaching for his reader. He scrolled through the names, looking for one specific one. He wasn't the least bit surprised when the highlighted name that blinked on his screen matched his sudden epiphany.
"Cherek?" He said to himself, staring at the name. Of course, this could only be a meaningless coincidence that would get him no where. "I'm not sure anyone will listen to me, anyhow."
Xanatos put the reader on the table. He stared at it, until there was a chime at his door. It didn't make him jump; he just turned his head. "I don't think you want to come in." He called towards the door. "I think I do." Came the soft, feminine, response.
Xanatos sighed. "If you're sure, then."
Sade entered, and stared at him from the doorway. "You shouldn't have done that, Xan."
"I can do whatever I like." He replied, not meeting her eyes.
Sade pursed her soft lips, and gave a low sigh. "I've seen you like this before, Xanatos Crion MesTelos, and I don't want to see the same end."
"Then leave, and you wont have to see it." Xanatos turned his head towards her, and replied.
Sade opened her mouth to say something, but seemed to rethink it. She bit her lip, and shook her head before she moved to speak again. "Obi-Wan is staying with me."
Xanatos blinked. "Can you bring him over? Master Windu said he'd…"
Sade suddenly smiled. "There you go."
"What?" Xanatos stared at her.
"Obi-Wan, Xanatos, he's what you've got. You cannot tell me you have nothing when you have Obi-Wan." She answered.
Xanatos frowned. "I never said I had nothing. In fact, I didn't say anything like that."
"I read it off of you, Xan." Sade gave a satisfied grin.
Xanatos drummed his fingers on the desk, and looked intently at her. "Just send Obi-Wan over as soon as possible, Sade. I will be fine."
Sade's grin faded. "Fine?" She shook her head. "Fine. I don't endorse this, but I will humor you. Force be with you, because you'll need it." She turned and left, clearly angry with him. Xanatos watched her go, and wondered why he had her sympathies.
He stared at the door until he heard a small knock a few minutes later. He stood, and crossed over to the door, emotions broiling beneath the surface. He hit the button to open the door, and tried to compose his face. If he had Obi-Wan, and was able to keep him away from Cherek, then maybe he could get things to work out in the end.
To his surprise, and chagrin, when he opened the door he didn't see Obi-Wan. Instead, Master Yoda stood in his doorway.
Xanatos blinked, then narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"Hmm, rude you are." Yoda shuffled in. "Heard I have, what happened today."
Xanatos folded his arms, and exhaled sharply. "And you just had to come and see what's the matter? Where's Obi-Wan?"
"See Obi-Wan later, you will. Now, sit." Yoda had made his way slowly over to the couch in the common room. He hopped up onto the couch, and made an annoyed noise. "Smaller furniture you need."
Xanatos moved his hands to his side, and clenched them into fists. "I don't need anything. Why are you here?"
"Sit with me, you will." Yoda's voice was clear and calm. Xanatos sighed, and stalked over to the couch. Instead of sitting on it, though, Xanatos sat on the floor in front of where Yoda was. "Good. Explain your actions, now."
"I all ready did. To Master Windu. I explained that my emotions were…."
"Heard that I have! Explain the truth, you shall." Yoda interrupted.
Xanatos frowned. "Cherek provoked me."
"Ask you to hit him he did?"
"Um, no." Xanatos looked away.
"Then hit him you should have not. Want to help you, he did. Need help, you still do." Yoda sighed. "Offer you help, we still do. Accept it, hmm?"
"I can deal with my own problems, Master. I only ask that Obi-Wan be returned to me. I wont cause anymore trouble, Master." Xanatos narrowed his eyes. "Not with Cherek, and not with any one. Everybody can just start swamping me with pity again, and I can remain trapped here in the Temple."
"Looking for that answer, I was not. So much like your Master, you are. Accept help for you, he would not, but saw it we did. Accept help, you should. But accept help you will not." Yoda tapped Xanatos lightly on the head with his gimer stick. "Meditate you should."
"I should do a lot of things." Xanatos stared at the floor.
"Hmm, speaking I am. More attention I deserve than the floor."
Xanatos sat quiet, then sighed. "Just have Obi-Wan brought back to me."
Yoda, grumbling slightly, hopped off the coach. "Best, your way is."
Xanatos didn't respond. He heard Yoda shuffle his way out the door. He even felt the delicate Force probe that the aged Master sent his way, but he didn't respond to it. He shifted his legs until they were folded, and waited.
End Chapter Four