Chapter Five

Sade entered her quarters and let out a big sigh. Obi-Wan heard her come in and glanced in her direction. She gave a small smile at him, then walked over to where he sat at the table. As she took the seat opposite to him, she shrugged off her cloak to let it drape over the back of her chair.

"Obi-Wan," She began slowly, "I only have to ask you one question. And that is, do you want to go back to Xanatos?"

Obi-Wan, staring at his hands, nodded lightly.

Sade was still staring at him. "Why?"

"If he wants me back, then I will go. It's up to him." Obi-Wan shifted his weight uneasily. Sade was starting to make him uncomfortable. She was too straightforward for his liking. The truth was, he wanted to go back to Xanatos to see if he still wanted him. Though, in the back of his mind, he decision was already made.

"He does want you back, Obi-Wan. But, if you go back, you will not receive any more help from the mind healers. It will be up to you two to find the solutions you need to solve your problems. Obi-Wan, I don't believe that you two can do that on your own. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you or Xan, but that's what he's resolved." She suddenly leaned over and placed her hands over his. "Do what you want, not what you think Xan wants."

"I am doing what I want." Obi-Wan replied quickly. "Can I go now?"

Sade let go of his hands, and leaned back in her chair, and nodded. She didn't say anything as Obi-Wan timidly pushed away from the table, and left her quarters.

Obi-Wan blindly found his way back to Xanatos, but stopped just short before he knocked. His hand wavered. Something, The Force maybe, was pulling him in different directions. To Xanatos, away from Xanatos, away from the Temple…He shook his head. He quickly knocked on the door before he could reconsider.

It opened quickly, but Obi-Wan again wavered before entering.

Xanatos was there, appearing suddenly. He had a alleviated look on his face and smiled. Obi-Wan stared in confusion, but stepped inside.

"I'm sorry about what happened today," Xanatos said, though it sounded hollow to Obi-Wan, "I'm more sorry you had to see it, actually."

Obi-Wan gave a short nod and let Xanatos lead him into the common room. Xanatos sat down close to him, and did his best to meet his eyes. He looked very calm to have Obi-Wan back.

Leaning back into the couch, Xanatos gave Obi-Wan another smile. "I hope Sade didn't tell you too many lies."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't think they were all lies."

"Good." Xanatos smiled. "Are you hungry?"

Obi-Wan shook his head.

"Oh, all right." Xanatos replied. The silence between them was unpleasant, and Obi-Wan could feel Xanatos thinking about what to do next. Xanatos, though he looked calm, could always hide his true emotions. And they were there, just below the surface. Obi-Wan studied Xanatos, before he spoke again.

"Master Yoda spoke with me. He told me what is going to happen." Xanatos paused. "Basically we're on our own."

"Oh." Obi-Wan looked down at his boots.

Xanatos swallowed, then looked out the window across from him. The sun hung low in the sky, and was starting to disappear below the city line. Time was starting to be lost to Xanatos, and he didn't like the feeling of having a day slip away without him accomplishing anything. He looked over at Obi-Wan. His plan wasn't going so well. The boy was distancing himself. Xanatos sighed.

"Are you tired?" He asked.

Obi-Wan looked up, and nodded.

"All right," Xanatos smiled lightly, "if your tired you may turn in early tonight. We can meditate together tomorrow. I don't find anything wrong with that."

Obi-Wan nodded, and moved to leave the room, and to leave for bed. He was surprised when Xanatos reached out to catch his arm. "Obi-Wan wait."

Obi-Wan turned his head.

"I don't want there to be distance between us. I apologized for what happened today, could you accept it?" Xanatos' eyes pleaded towards him for a response.

Obi-Wan looked at the hand on his arm in confusion. He doesn't mean it. He's trying to get me to believe him again. Don't believe him. Obi-Wan managed to give a lying nod, and Xanatos let him go.

"Thank you, Obi-Wan. Good night then." Xanatos looked like he believed him, and Obi-Wan didn't feel any regret at lying. He moved towards his room, and didn't look back.

As Xanatos watched Obi-Wan disappear inside his room. His relief that Obi-Wan was back had faded slightly, but he was glad that the boy could still be reached. He could help him, and would do it despite what the council thought of him.

Shaking his head, Xanatos slid off of the couch, and onto the floor. Maybe he was going about this all wrong. Could the others help him? Xanatos frowned, and flopped his head onto the couch, and stared at the ceiling. It didn't offer any answers, as usual.

He pushed himself back up to his feet, and walked out onto the balcony. The sun had just disappeared, but some of the buildings still glistened with its dying light. He turned back into his apartment, and crossed his arms.

"If problems were easy to solve, then life would have no challenges." Xanatos frowned. "I always liked challenges. But Obi-Wan…he's a challenge that I just don't want to loose. I'm on a bad run of challenges, aren't I?"

No answer.

Xanatos took a deep breath, and settled back onto the floor. He pulled off his boots, and slipped into meditation. Master Yoda was right about this. He needed to meditate more. The Force wouldn't be so difficult to listen to if he tried a little harder.

As his meditations deepened, Xanatos wondered why his emotions had suddenly bled away. It was like some one held a switch to his mind, and flicked it on and off at will. The Force could be toying with him in some sick way, but he was beginning to suspect that there was a real person. But if the focus was off of him, then where was the focus now?

The question lingered in his mind. He had been taught how to answer questions in his mind, but he had almost forgotten the practice over the past months. But like any other routine that had been long dormant, he could revive it easily.

If Cherek was behind Qui-Gon's death, than he would have to have objectives. Even a turned Jedi would use something like revenge over something without reason. Revenge, yes. It had to be revenge. He remembered being younger, and always having Cherek chasing him. Cherek was older, but was always in competition with him. Xanatos had beaten Cherek at almost everything, including becoming Qui-Gon's padawan. That's how Cherek ended up on the path to the mind healers. He passed his thirteenth birthday, and became intertwined in the healer system.

That was it! He hadn't been chosen, so he found a way to get retribution.

But how could he hide himself from the powerfully minded Jedi he worked with?

Every questions answers usually came with more questions. It was an endless circle that would just lead to frustration. Snorting in impatience Xanatos pulled out of meditations. He turned his eyes towards the window and frowned. Night had swept the city.

Xanatos pushed himself to his feet, picked up his boots, and folded his arms. Sighing, he went to his room.

Having not slept the night before, Xanatos was dead tired the next morning. He had been awoken by a nightmare, and didn't get any sleep after that. He still managed to put on a brave face the next morning, and brought Obi-Wan to a peaceful spot in the gardens to start the long process of meditation and work that was ahead of them.

Xanatos felt the inkling of darkness surronding them, but couldn't place it. He'd felt it before, and it was getting stronger. It was a beautiful morning and he was pleased with the progress he thought he was making. The darkness he quickly accepted as being his own. Obi-Wan couldn't possibly be responsible for it.

He had planned on returning to his apartment a little after tenth hour. His fears about the nightmare coming true were starting to fade. Obi-Wan had been quiet, but hadn't been completely unresponsive.

"I'm glad you believed in me, Obi-Wan." Xanatos smiled as they stood outside his apartment door. "To have your trust is very important to me."

Obi-Wan, after a moment, gave a small smile and a nod. "Thank you."

Xanatos gave a quick nod himself. "Your welcome."

The door swished open, and the happy mood he had been in suddenly faded as Xanatos' eyes saw the damaged state his apartment was in. Lamps had been smashed, the couch over turned, and broken pieces of various things were scattered across the floor. Quickly pulling out his comm unit, Xanatos called floor security.

"I'm certain some one broke in. I left the door locked, like I always do. It could be nothing else." Xanatos reported as he turned his data set over to search for damage when the security officer arrived.

The floor security nodded. "We've got no reports of anyone entering or exiting your door this morning except you."

"Well maybe your reports are wrong because there is no way I would have done this. Both Obi-Wan and I have been out all morning." Xanatos watched as Obi-Wan picked up leather bound book off the floor. Obi-Wan looked up at Xanatos and shrugged.

Their companion pulled out his comm unit and hit a button on the underside. It flashed. Xanatos recognized the signal and frowned. He knew that was a call for other guards to come as backup. Xanatos took a quick glance at Obi-Wan, then back at the guard.

"You think I did this?" Xanatos asked in disbelief. "That's impossible."

Keeping his distance, the guard looked at Xanatos closely. He tucked his comm unit back under his cloak. "You'll have your chance to explain yourself in front of the council, Knight MesToles."

Xanatos clenched his fists together and felt his mouth go dry. He caught a glimpse of Obi-Wan in the corner of his eyes, taking a long step backward. Reasons and actions raced through Xanatos' mind but they all ended in Obi-Wan. He could throw a fit and get drug off by guards, again, or just stand and take it. Yesterday's altercation had left him with a short line to walk, and he would jump right off the edge. If he didn't have Obi-Wan.

Taking a long drawn out breath, Xanatos let his head drop onto his chest. He'd have to wait it out.

Obi-Wan wasn't sure what to think. He knew that Xanatos hadn't done it. He had left with him that morning, and they were never apart. He could have stuck up for him, but he had chosen to keep his mouth shut. Together, they waited in silence in the council waiting room.

Xanatos looked very distant. Obi-Wan could almost feel the bitterness in his thoughts. Obi-Wan studied the side of Xanatos face. He sat with his head back against the wall, with his eyes closed. He didn't look any different, so why had he suddenly started acting differently?

The door opened, but Xanatos didn't move. Obi-Wan saw one of his eyes slide open to look at the door, then he closed them again.

"Knight MesTelos?" The guard that had brought them there stood in the doorway, staring at them. Obi-Wan watched Xanatos, and he didn't move.

"I'm not going in alone." Xanatos finally replied, coolly.

The guard glanced inside, then back at them. He gave a small nod.

Xanatos shifted his weight, then pushed himself to his feet. He smirked to himself, then looked at Obi-Wan. "Let's go, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan himself sat motionless for a moment. What was he going to say if he was asked a question? He didn't want any of this, but he had to follow. Trying not to appear reluctant, Obi-Wan followed Xanatos into the council chamber.

It was either lucky or unlucky that there were only two councilors waiting for them. Master Yoda and Master Windu didn't look pressed for time, but didn't look too happy to be there either. Xanatos let his eyes drop onto the floor. He knew he looked guilty, but he didn't know what to say that could prove that wrong.

"This is not the behavior of a Jedi Knight, Xanatos. You can't keep giving us excuses." Master Windu started quickly.

Xanatos nodded. "I'm not offering any excuses, just the truth. And the truth is I…"

"When told often enough, the truth a lie becomes." Yoda said.

"I've told no lies, Master." Xanatos replied, unsure of what the meaning of the comment was.

Yoda seemed to be studying him rather intently, which was starting to unnerve Xanatos. "Told lies to no one, hmm? What of yourself? Lied to yourself, you have."

"I only lie out of necessity. And only to myself." Xanatos quickly clarified.

Yoda continued to analyze him. "Warned you, I have, about your thoughts. Careful of your thoughts, you should be. Inspire your words, they do. Careful of your words, hmm, inspire your actions they do. Careful of your actions, build habits they do. Habits, build your character. Careful of your character; destiny it decides." Yoda blinked his large eyes. "Lied to me, you have. No more trouble, hmm?"

"That wasn't a lie. It was a broken promise." Xanatos answered, quietly.

"Obi-Wan, if you could excuse us." Windu spoke up.

Obi-Wan had kept his eyes low, and gave a small bow before turning to leave. Xanatos followed Obi-Wan, with his eyes, for a few seconds, before looking back to the two Jedi Masters.

"We're worried abut your well being, Xanatos, we're not against you in any way." Mace started shortly after Obi-Wan left. Xanatos didn't like how the sentence started off just after Obi-Wan left. He made a quick conjecture, but waited for conformation.

"We think it would be better if Obi-Wan was placed with another knight. We didn't want to do this, but you've left us little choice. Until you control your emotions, we…"

"Control?" Xanatos voice pitched as interrupted. He dropped to his knees. "I admit to have lost my control, but Obi-Wan is all that I have left to keep from completely loosing myself. I don't want Obi-Wan to suffer because of my mistakes, but taking him away from me will not solve anything. Masters you've said it yourselves that we can heal each other. I've felt that! Please, I will succeed if you have faith."

Xanatos, his had down, couldn't see how the two others looked upon him with such sympathy. Shaking his head, Master Windu spoke up.

"We knighted you on faith," He paused, "Rise, Knight."

Xanatos didn't move. "I don't want any more suspicion, only your trust."

"Trust cannot be promised, earned only it must be." Yoda's answered.

"I can earn it." Xanatos, pushed himself up, and bowed. He would try his best.

But would his best be good enough? The question sat at the back of his mind as he went back out into the hall. Obi-Wan looked up when he exited. He didn't move from where he sat, and looked to be waiting for Xanatos' signal.

Xanatos managed a small smile and a nod. "We're free to go."

As long as I don't tackle anyone in the halls back.

Obi-Wan nodded back, and stood. "Didn't they want to speak to me?"

Xanatos shook his head, puzzled. "Do they?"

"No," Obi-Wan answered, "I was just wondering."

"Oh," Xanatos folded his arms, "I think they dismissed me early because they're just getting plain tired of this. There are more important things to attend to, for them. And for us." Pausing, Xanatos took a final look at the council door. "I'm starting to understand why Qui-Gon disagreed with them so often."

Obi-Wan took a quick glance at the door himself. "He didn't disagree with them. His philosophy was just different than theirs."

"Different, or just wrong?" Xanatos asked, looking back to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan bit his bottom lip, then shrugged. "He never told me."

Xanatos gave a small smirk, but his stormy mood was still there. "He never told me either. Let's go, before they remember we're here."

It was a quiet walk back to Xanatos' apartment. They arrived, and Xanatos let out an annoyed noise at the mess. Obi-Wan smiled a little at him, and Xanatos gave him a humored look. Obi-Wan didn't laugh, but he still smiled.

Shrugging a little, Xanatos picked up a pillow off the floor. It had a large tear across the front. "It will take us a while to clean this up. I know that Cherek must have done this, he's the only one that I can imagine would."

"Why?" Obi-Wan asked, stepping aside, not knowing what to do.

"He's got some plan in mind." Xanatos sighed. "I know it." Pausing, Xanatos surveyed the mess again. Broken pieces of various things would make it hard to walk without boots. "There's a broom in the closet, grab it and we can clean this up."

Dipping his head in agreement, Obi-Wan ducked off. He returned a few seconds later, holding the broom. Xanatos gave some directions, and they started to their tasks. Xanatos was silent the rest of the time, mulling over his thoughts. Obi-Wan was just quietly doing his chores. He tried not to look at Xanatos, and did the best he could. They finally had to look at each other again to turn over the couch. Xanatos eyes looked troubled when Obi-Wan looked into them, so he shied away. They flipped the couch upright with no problem, and then surveyed the apartment.

"We're a good team." Xanatos said, placing his hands on his hips.

"For maids." Obi-Wan replied.

Xanatos smirked. "Better Jedi than maids, and I'm sure the council will take that suggestion."

End Chapter Five