Blasphemy
By Selphie Leonhart
This is a very short piece about what Tifa and Cloud felt as she watched Aeris die.
Rating: 12 ( for language )
Disclaimer: The characters of Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart, Aeris Gainsborough, Sephiroth and Yuffie Kisaragi are the property of Squaresoft and are used without their permission.
She felt a cold hatred take over as she watched Sephiroth murder her 'friend'. The hatred engulfed her, making her numb. She wanted to scream in rage, just as a release, but the wickedness just built up inside. She knew this was bad, she knew what she felt was terribly wrong, but she couldn't help it. Instead, she just gave in to it. She let the icy rage sweep over her. She wasn't angry at Sephiroth. She was angry at Aeris.
She watched, barely supressing a twisted smile as Sephiroth drew the shining blade from Aeris' body, she watched as Aeris, smiling serenely, fell forward, her emerald eyes on her love. Cloud. She was doing this on purpose, Tifa wanted to scream. She could feel Cloud dying too, as he stood next to her. She could feel the acute grief washing over him.
Aeris let a small globe of light fall from her clasped hands, and it bounced down the stairs. She heard a small moan from Yuffie behind her, and wanted to slap the younger girl. Couldn't they see it? She had only done this to get Cloud to love her more. Aeris knew that is she died, the part of Cloud which had learned to love would die with her. Well, her death was breathing life into the part of Tifa which loved to hate.
Sephiroth disappeared, just as Cloud ran towards him. Tifa couldn't move. She stayed rooted to the spot as Cloud leant over the dying girl. He took Aeris in his arms and held her tenderly. Tifa felt an ugly expression cross her face. One of hatred. Her place was in his arms, not Aeris. Tifa wanted to run to him, but she knew if she did he would never speak to her again. She watched in anguish as he raised a hand to Aeris' face, and gently shut her eyes, closing his own in pain. Tifa lowered her gaze, feeling red hot anger well up inside her.
Cloud felt an indescribable loss as he laid his hand on Aeris' face, closing those glowing green eyes forever. He felt a strange disturbance, and looked up to see Tifa staring at him. Her reddish-brown eyes seemed to shine unnaturally, and he was sure he could see hate in her gaze. He looked back down to the warm body he held in his arms. Aeris. Pure, sweet, and kind. He loved her still. She had been the only stable thing in his life. Nothing could compare to the deep, still beauty of her love. Nothing.
Tifa knew what he was thinking. She felt desperate. She was so angry. Rage, hot and cold, swept over her in a tsunami of emotions. She trembled with restrained energy.
He lifted her limp body from the small platform, and hanging his head so the others could not see his tears, carried her down the steps. In single file, the others followed. The silent procession stopped at the shores of the lake, while Cloud alone waded in, gazing into Aeris' beautiful face. Even in death, she had a serene expression which he found irresistible. He wished....but it was useless. He could never have her back.
She watched from the shore. He had only looked at her once, and then she had been unable to hide the hatred welling inside of her. He had seen it, and she knew that the shock of seeing it on her usually pretty face had cut through his grief like the masamune had cut through Aeris. He knew. He knew that her heart was evil, that she was thinking thoughts only a demon could imagine.
He laid her to rest, a single crystal tear dropping into the water after her as he released her body for all eternity. He would never hold her again, never feel her warm in his arms. What was he left with now? He watched her float, and though her eyes were closed, he imagined the welcoming green orbs he had grown to love sparkling once more. Finally she disappeared from sight, fading into the clear aqua waters.
He looked towards the shore. Tifa was waiting. He felt surprised at the revulsion he felt towards her. She was nothing compared to Aeris. While Aeris was pure, untainted, Tifa was a whore. A slut. He knew this now, looking at her. He was able now, to see past the image she put up for him. She didn't know what love was. Someone like Tifa could never experience such a fine feeling such as what connected him to Aeris.
Tifa knew what he was thinking. She knew, and it momentarily stopped the tide of hatred. As he looked at her, her soul was laid bare. He knew all her secrets, all the mistakes of the past. He knew what depths she would, and had, stooped to before now, how she had degraded herself for money, how cheap she was. He knew her soul. He could see inside her, and with sudden clarity, she knew he was indifferent. He didn't care. And that was worse than having him hate her. . Hatred. That was all Tifa Lockheart was capable of now.
He stared into Tifa's eyes. They were red-brown, and he wondered how he could have missed this before. He knew she was shallow, and thinking about it made him realise his loss even more. Aeris. His heart ached, a pain he could actually feel. It was as if someone had punched him hard in the chest. Sephiroth. He had done this to spite him.
For a moment, he forgot Tifa and thought about Aeris' murderer. If he thought too long, the hate he felt would take over, and he would go insane. He mustn't let that happen. Tifa had let it happen. She had let her hatred for Aeris destroy her, and now she had no chance with Cloud at all.
They would carry on, pretending not to know what they did know. Tifa would comfort Cloud, and all the time he would know she was raging on the inside. He would pretend to love her, pretend to honour the promise they had made at the well. He would pretend not to notice her imperfections, The only reason she had his heart was by default, because the dream had died.
Aeris, his angel.
He would tolerate Tifa. They would act out the pretense of being a loving couple. No one would see the truth.
But in his soul he would be empty, devoid of emotion. They would both know that. But they would keep pretending anyway.
Cloud Strife turned away from the pool, leaving his heart behind.
------the end--------
Hmmm? Send comments, rantings about Tifa not being a whore etc, to Selphie_Leonhart@daydream.co.uk