Warnings: slight shounen ai, rating PG
Category: AT
Pairings: 1+2
Author: Ashke (Beloved)
Email: schismgirl@hotmail.com
Kisses and Promises
Duo groaned as his body slammed against the harness. The battle raged
around him as he and his comrades fought on. 'War,' Duo thought bitterly,
his violet eyes glowing in the dim light of the cockpit. He hated fighting,
hated killing...
-Eight Years Earlier-
The small boy gasped for breath as he ran as fast as his short little legs would carry him. He hurt all over, his muscles straining to keep him upright as he leaned against a dilapidated wall. He looked around the small shelter he'd come across. The roof was all but gone, the walls looked about to collapse... but it was a shelter none the less.
Duo sighed as he slid down the wall, wrapping his arms around his his short legs and pulling them to his chest, laying his head on his knees and letting his long hair curtain him. His head hurt and his lip quivered as a tear spilt down his cheek. "Solo..." he moaned, his voice a horse whisper. "Why'd ya have ta leave me?!" His small frame began to shake as sobs wracked his body.
For the first time in four years, Duo found himself completely alone. His heart ached for the loss of his only friend as tears stained pale and sunken cheeks. After his sobs subsided and his body's shaking stopped, Duo decided to look around the 'hut' for food... his stomach grumbled irritably, having not been fed for more days than Duo could remember.
He peeked around a corner, looking for something, anything... a discarded piece of bread, a tin can, anything that resembled food. He sighed, kicking a stone on the ground. Nothing. Eyes downcast, he was about to return to the room from which he came when something caught his gaze.
A half empty box of MRE style packages sat open in a corner. Duo's eyes lit up and he stumbled toward them. "Food!" he said quietly, making his way across the room.
"Who's there?" Someone shouted. Before Duo could answer the man, a soldier, opened fire and a rain of bullets raced toward him. "It's just a kid!" his comrade shouted, yanking the gun away from him. Too late.
The bullets sped toward the startled boy. Duo screamed and wrapped his hands around his head, fear spreading through his every cell.
Suddenly, energy surrounded the boy, exploding outward. When next Duo opened his eyes, he found nothing around him but death... The soldiers hold up in the hut were all dead, burnt and smoldering corpses littering the dirt covered floor.
Duo's eyes widened at the massacre, a massacre which had been his doing. The soldiers, dead... his fault. Solo, dead... his fault. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in some dark place and die as well...
***
Violet eyes blinked open, widening in surprise as the boy sat up and looked about him. All around him, nuns and children... He was in a church. He felt his heart twist, the urge to run away from the clean and untarnished holiness of the place. He shouldn't be in such a place, he tainted child, killer of men.
"He's away," said a kindly voice. Duo turned to the door and looked upon an angel... He ducked his head quickly, afraid to look upon such beauty. Fear welled in him. Was he awaiting judgment? Had he died like he'd hoped. Tears filled his eyes and trickled down his cheeks as a warm hand was lain on his shoulder. "What is wrong, my child?" the tender voice asked. "Why are you crying?"
Duo sniffed, daring to look up and meet the angel's eyes. "I'm going to be punished, aren't I?" he said, his voice pinched from crying.
"Why ever would we punish you?" Warm arms encircled him and Duo began to sob in earnest. Why? Why was this angel touching him, such an unholy creature? Destroyer of His creations?
"I killed people... I killed them... I was afraid and I killed them," Duo whispered brokenly as his sobbing subsided. "I wouldn't have survived if I hadn't..."
The arms pushed him back and the fear gripped him again. She was going to punish him...
He was held at arm's length and the woman, the angel, looked long and hard at him. "You didn't mean for them to die... And God was watching over you, He wanted you to survive..." she said softly.
"God will watch over me... even if I've killed people?" Duo asked sadly.
"Here, wipe your eyes... Sister Helen wants to see you..." She helped him dry his eyes and was his face, then led him down the hall to the sanctuary where 'Sister Helen' awaited.
"Come, come here, my dear," the nun said. Her clear blue eyes smiled at him and her soft face welcomed him, and Duo found he could not but go to her. "What's you're name... or have you one?"
Duo tilted his head to the side. "Duo..." he said, watching her with curious eyes. She did not act like any grown up he'd ever met before.
"Well, Duo... come, climb up here. Let us talk as equals, ne?" she smiled and patted the podium like desk beside her. She wanted him as her equal? Her, a servant of God?
"Why?" Duo asked.
"Why what?"
"Why climb up there?" He didn't like his feet not touching the ground if they weren't on the ground, he couldn't run away if needed.
She smiled at him. "Because equals look one another in the eye as they speak," she said, once again patting the podium. Duo sighed and made a step to climb up the podium. Sister Helen blinked as the boy disappeared and reappeared sitting on the podium. "Oh that's right. You are blessed with Sarches."
"What's Sarches?" Duo asked curiously, fingers seeking out the end of his braid... The nuns had washed, brushed and braided it for him while he slept.
"Like you did just then. Powers like disappearing and moving from one place to another," she told him, hands clasped in front of her, primly. "It's a blessing..."
Duo blinked and leaned toward the sister. "And this power comes from God?"
"That's right," Helen nodded. "You should be grateful... not many people have these powers..."
Duo looked down, then looked the nun dead in the eye. "I don't believe in God... the only God I believe in is Shinigami..." Helen gasped and covered her mouth with a thin boned hand.
"Duo..." She sighed and looked at the boy.
"Have you ever seen him? God?" he asked. "'Cause I've never seen him, but I sure have seen a lot of death..."
"No, Duo... I've never seen him... but I am doing this type of work because I /believe/," she said, her voice even and warm. "But then, there's proof of Him in your Sarches ability and also in the Kiche-Sar jalians."
Duo blinked at the habited woman. "What's a Kiche-Sar jalian?"
He leaned back as she pointed her finger at his forehead, right between his eyes. He almost fell off the podium as he leaned back to avoid it. She smiled. "They are people who have four red marks on their foreheads... They are saintly people chosen by God. They have special powers like making lush vegetation grow in the desert, seeing the future, or talking to animals..."
Duo's eyes got wide. "There are weird people like that?!" he asked. "Where are they?"
Helen chuckled. "You won't meet one easily... Only one in a hundred million are blessed as Kiche. But if you're lucky perhaps you will meet one..." Helen watched as Duo grew silent, contemplative. She smiled and walked out of the room.
***
Duo watched out the window as the other orphans played with the sisters. He sighed, feeling as along here, with these people, as he did when he really was alone. He didn't want to play... he wasn't used to play. Playing felt wrong, it wasn't what he did... he ran and hid, just scraping by, living from day to day... That's what he'd done ever since he could remember... Even when Solo'd been there, they'd both just lived from day to day... They were war orphans, sole survivors of their ill-fated families.
Thinking of Solo brought tears to Duo's eyes, but he suppressed them valiantly. He would not cry, he'd shed his tears for his friend. He had no more tears for Solo... nor for himself.
He tensed as he heard someone walk up behind him. Slowly, to be sure it was not an attacker, Duo turned to face the man. He blinked as he looked him over. The man was tall and skinny, but not too skinny... Toned was more the term for him. He had curly red hair that better suited a woman. His brown-orange freckles dubbed him of Irish descent and his hazel-green eyes were warm and loving. "Bonny day, Duo," the man said, his deep voice rumbling pleasantly. "I'm Duncan. From now on I am your Veeda. Yoroshiku," he said extending a hand.
Duo looked at the hand then back at the man, his face expressionless.
"I take it you don't like handshakes..." Duncan sighed. "Do you know what a Veeda is?" When Duo didn't respond, Duncan just continued on. "The government has taken an interest in your talents... and those of a few other children... you'll meet them when the project is fully underway..." Duncan smiled. "I was asked to be the guardian of the L2 child, that being you... So now I'm kind of like a new father... Think of it like a game, if you will..."
'Does this guy ever shut up?' Duo thought, raising an eyebrow. "You mean we're gonna pretend to be a family?"
"Yes, basically... We'll eat together, read books together, sleep under the same roof... Like a family does, yes..." Duncan seemed happy about the prospect of playing father. Duo had to admit, if only to himself, that it would be nice to have a 'family' again...
"How will it be different from here?" Duo asked. He did all those things with the nuns and children... yet they were not his family. He feared he'd never have a family again...
"Try it and find out," Duncan said, smiling.
***
Duo blinked in awe as they approached Duncan's house. It was not big by any means, but it was nice... a lot nicer than what Duo was used to. "This is my home," Duncan said, gesturing to the cozy little house. Duo resisted the urge to roll his eyes and say 'duh!' as the man smiled proudly and drew him toward the house. "From today, it will be just the three of us... You, me, and Kyaa."
"Kyaa?" Duo asked, looking up.
"Yes... Watashi no aibou..." [1] Duncan said, letting them into the house. "I'll introduce you... He's a--"
Duo turned around... and screamed. "Kyaaaa!" He yelled, hiding behind Duncan's leg. He peeked from behind him as Duncan chuckled. The giant cat, standing on his hind legs, bowed his head and scratched at the back of his neck.
Duncan smiled and pulled Duo around to face Kyaa. "People always say 'kyaa' when they see him... That's why I named him Kyaa." He looked down at the boy. "Are you afraid of him?"
Duo wrinkled his nose. "No..." he said stiffly.
Duncan chuckled and ruffled the long bangs. "Good... hmm, are you hungry?"
Soon they all sat on the back porch eating the evening meal. Duo looked at the huge cat, curiosity perking. "Ne, what is he? A person?" he asked, turning to look at Duncan.
"He's a rare breed of cat from the Jinnyan Star Labs... He was breed, or more like engineered, to be a companion..." Duncan said.
Later that evening, Duo confronted Duncan curiosity once again getting the better of him. 'I should just keep quiet... but I just gotta know...' "Ne, Duncan-san," Duo said, standing in front of the redheaded man. "I was wondering why you accepted me in..."
"Why's that?" Duncan said, setting down the paper he was reading.
"Did they tell you that I've killed people before?" Duo asked, rubbing his thumbs together nervously. "Are-aren't you afraid?"
"Not as long as Kyaa's around," Duncan told him.
"Mm?" Duo blinked at the smiling man. "But... I'm Sarches..."
Duncan smirked at the boy, enjoying watching the boy fidget with the end of his braid. "Unfortunate for you, Kyaa eats up Sarches power... Another thing they 'bred' into him. He just gobbles it up!" Duncan grinned and mimicked how Kyaa would devour the power.
Duo's eyes widened and he looked at the large feline. "Really?" The cat looked down at him, his feline face showing no emotion.
***
"Duncan..." Duo murmured, padding out onto the porch the next morning. "Kyaa slept in my be last night..." He told the man, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "He got in the way..."
Duncan smiled at the befuddled boy. "Then you should sleep on top of Kyaa... use /him/ as your bed..." The boy and the cat looked at one another
"He wouldn't bite?" Duo asked, quirking an eyebrow at his 'care taker.'
"Well...." Duncan paused... "He might like you." And as if to prove Duncan's words true, Kyaa wrapped his large furry arms around the boy and licked the side of his face.
***
-A couple weeks later-
"I don't care, if this happens again I will inform the government! I'll have your license taken away!" the angry woman stomped off, dragging her bandaged child after her.
Duncan grimaced as she slammed her car door and sped off. "Oiya oiya..." he said, rubbing his head. He headed back inside the house, out onto the deck. "Kyaa... where's Duo?" he asked, looking around for the boy. The cat looked to his right, then lifted that limb.
Duo peered around from behind the furry body. "Are you going to punish me?" Duo asked.
Duncan sighed. "No, Duo, I'm not, he said."
Duo's expression was pouty. "The nuns would have..."
"Well, I'm not the nuns, am I?" Duncan said, kneeling to look the boy in the eye. "It was wrong of you to use violence against that kid, but he teased you for being a war orphan. That's why, as a foster father, I want to..." Duncan leaned forward and kissed the boy on the cheek.
Duo blinked at him. "What'd ya do that for?" he asked, surprised at the affection he read in the man's eyes.
"I kissed you, like a father to a son," Duncan said. "You've never had that kind of affection... You've never been told that you were a good child and that you were loved..."
'Except by Solo...' Duo thought. Tears were forming in his eyes and the more he tried to suppress them the more they welled until they were spilling over and running down his cheeks. Duncan held him close. Hugged him and soothed his crying.
"I don't want to see you cry, so every time you lose some of your unhappiness... I'll give you a kiss on the cheek as a reward... and my reward is your smile..." Duncan told the boy. Duo nodded against the firm chest he was held to. "That way, we become more like father and son... we be friends and family... okay?" He felt Duo nod again.
A smile... get a kiss give a smile...
Duncan picked the now sleepy boy up and carried him into the house.
***
"Duo!" Helen said, running to the boy where he was playing in the school yard. She caught up with him as he turned and she wrapped her arms around him. He felt her shake as she hugged him and his eyes widened in shock.
"Duncan's dead, isn't he?" Duo asked, his voice a whisper. Helen nodded. "And Kyaa, too?" She nodded again.
"A traffic accident," she told him, her blue eyes shiny with tears.
'Liar!' his mind screamed. 'Duncan, you're a liar! I haven't even smiled once...' His tears claimed him then and he sobbed into Sister Helen's shoulder, his small hands clutching at the fabric of her habit. 'And even now, if I smile... I won't get a kiss as a reward! Why? Why did you leave me too? It was only seventy-eight days... I only had seventy-eight days with you...'
Sister Helen led him to the house to retrieve his belongings. As he
stood there, looking up at the only place he'd called home, he made a promise.
'For you, Duncan... Solo... I will smile... I'll smile and make people
happy... for you... And I'll be happy... I'll make myself happy... for
you...'
-Six Years Later-
"I know it's hard for you," the doctor with the mushroom hair said, looking at the boy sitting on the table in his office. The young man had yet to quit smiling and it was beginning to unnerve him. The boy should be mourning the loss of his 'family'...
"No... I'm ok, really, doc... Yea, it hurts to think on it and I miss 'em, but they're in a better place..." Duo said brightly. "Besides," and his voice took on a menacing tone. "since I'm now part of the team, instead of just training my powers and all, I can get those bastards back..."
The long-nosed doctor looked at the boy with a mixture of fear and respect. This was a young man who'd been through more than any one person should, seen all kinds of horrors, lost his 'family' more times than a person should... He was the perfect candidate to pilot on of the colonies' Gundams... even more perfect for the one that L2 had built... The boy, if G didn't know better, was Death himself. And what better a pilot for the Gundam Deathscythe than Death?
"So, I'm ready to go kick some Ozzy ass," Duo said, jumping off the table. "I hate war and fighting... but," and he turned to look the squatly doctor in the eye. "I'll make them pay for their trespass against Shinigami." And with that the boy turned and vanished.
"I wish you luck, my lad..." G whispered to the air. "I hope God favors
you in this... because you'll need all the help you can get."
-Present: A.C. 195-
"Maxwell, stop fooling around and destroy them!" Wufei yelled over the comm. He watched as the Shinigami pilot danced the Gundam about the mobile suits, taunting them. At this rate the boy would get himself killed, if not worse.... Captured.
"Dun worry about me, 'Fei-chan," Duo said, taunting the Chinese boy. "You've got enough worries of your own."
Wufei cursed as he slung his Gundam around to destroy the oncoming Leos.
"Duo, pull out... the base is destroyed. Repeat: the base is destroyed. Mission complete. Pull out," Heero said, switching his Gundam to bird-mode and making a bee-line for safety.
"Ryoukai!" Duo chirped, slicing a few more moblie suits then hurrying to follow.
***
"We did it," Duo said, bouncing into the latest safe house, a rented log cabin.
Heero glared and grabbed the bouncing pilot by the braid. "You put yourself in needless jeopardy... You could have compromised the mission..."
Duo glared right back, smile still firmly in place. "But I didn't! And I wasn't in any danger! I can take care of myself, thank you!" He yanked his braid away from the glowering pilot and bounced off to his room.
***
"Stupid, selfish..." Duo muttered, cranking his radio on and throwing himself down on the bed. "I can never make you smile... make you happy... it's not fair!" He turned over on his stomach. "I can't keep my promise if you don't give a little here, buddy..." he sighed, burying his face in his pillow.
"Duo?"
"Hmmph?" Duo asked, the pillow muffling the sound.
"I'm sorry," Heero said, sitting down on the bed beside his lover. The boy rolled over and looked at him. "You just... scared me out there..." Heero told him, pulling the boy to him.
"I'm sorry, too, Hee-chan. I don't mean to take risks, honest I don't... I just..." Duo trailed off as Heero placed a finger to his lips.
"Shh, I know..." Duo sighed as Heero kissed him sweetly.
"I love you," he said after they parted.
"Aa, aishiteru, Duo..."
"Hey, Heero?"
"Hn?"
"I want to kill them."
"I know... shhhhh, I know."
Owari... (for now?)
Notes:
[1] In this Timeline, this is where Duo learned 'aibou'
Please C&C... I crave it, it is my life's breath.