Legal Crap/Author's Note: I think we've established that I don't own Gundam, its characters, or its characters' hair. I do, however, own my jokes about Trowa's "catnip" and any other ideas projected in this fic. If you are desperate enough to want to steal my jokes... you've got issues. Ja ne!
Battle of the Blondes
Part IV: A Shift in the Hair in Power
Meanwhile, at Trowa's circus tent...
Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei sat around a campfire in silence, each one looking at the one across from them. It'd been three hours already since Quatre had called them here, and they still had no idea on how to take revenge on the mustard haired skank, Relena.
Heero finally spoke, disrupting the silence. "I still say we should do everyone a favor and just kill her." Everyone except Quatre nodded in agreement.
"Heero," Quatre grumbled, displaying his fatigue and frustration, "I already told you. Blood stains Dockers. If we killed her, I'd never be able to hide the evidence. Besides, I'd be wasting a perfectly good pair of pants. Duo, I put you in charge. You should be the one coming up with the ideas."
Duo sighed and simply mumbled, "Why'd Hilde have to go and join the other side? How am I supposed to kill Relena without holding the risk of hurting Hilde?"
Quatre sighed and Wufei growled something to the effect of, "Stupid onna deserves to die if she joins the weak onna army."
Duo, catching most of the Shenlong pilot's remark, stood up and yelled, "You come here and say that!"
Wufei, standing up rather nonchalantly, looked Duo straight in the eye and replied, "Do you want to protect your dim witted skank or do you want to win?" As soon as Wufei finished his sentence, he was struck with a crushing blow to the jaw, thereby commencing the beginning of his battle with Duo.
While Trowa and Heero watched, mildly amused, as the two pilots beat the crap out of each other, Quatre hid his head in his hands in shame. "How am I supposed to get anything done when I'm forced to work with these, these... ROGUE FREAKS!!! I can't take this anymore, damn it!" Grabbing Wufei and Duo in a strange moment of strength, Quatre flung his fellow pilots onto opposite benches. "YOU! THINK! NOW!"
All four other pilots stared at the usually polite Arabian in awe. "Woah," Duo murmured, his jaw dropping. "Someone needs to chill."
Without saying a single word, Trowa stood up and held a small leather pouch up to his spastic companion's nose. Instantly, Quatre fell into a calm stupor and was slowly lowered onto a bench to relax.
Raising an eyebrow, Heero looked over at Trowa and asked, "What is that stuff?"
Trowa, smirking, replied, "Just a little something I give the lions to calm down."
Duo grabbed the bag and took a whiff. "Dude, this is narcot... narcot..." Without finishing his sentence, Duo fell into a deep, drug induced sleep.
"I'm going to go kill Relena," Heero said calmly as he stood up. "You guys in?"
Trowa and the battered Wufei nodded. "We should come to make sure you actually go through with it," the chauvinist pilot hissed, holding his hand over the large bruise on his cheek.
"Say it again and I'll put another bruise on that face of yours."
Battle of the Blondes
Part IV: A Shift in the Hair in Power
Meanwhile, at Trowa's circus tent...
Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei sat around a campfire in silence, each one looking at the one across from them. It'd been three hours already since Quatre had called them here, and they still had no idea on how to take revenge on the mustard haired skank, Relena.
Heero finally spoke, disrupting the silence. "I still say we should do everyone a favor and just kill her." Everyone except Quatre nodded in agreement.
"Heero," Quatre grumbled, displaying his fatigue and frustration, "I already told you. Blood stains Dockers. If we killed her, I'd never be able to hide the evidence. Besides, I'd be wasting a perfectly good pair of pants. Duo, I put you in charge. You should be the one coming up with the ideas."
Duo sighed and simply mumbled, "Why'd Hilde have to go and join the other side? How am I supposed to kill Relena without holding the risk of hurting Hilde?"
Quatre sighed and Wufei growled something to the effect of, "Stupid onna deserves to die if she joins the weak onna army."
Duo, catching most of the Shenlong pilot's remark, stood up and yelled, "You come here and say that!"
Wufei, standing up rather nonchalantly, looked Duo straight in the eye and replied, "Do you want to protect your dim witted skank or do you want to win?" As soon as Wufei finished his sentence, he was struck with a crushing blow to the jaw, thereby commencing the beginning of his battle with Duo.
While Trowa and Heero watched, mildly amused, as the two pilots beat the crap out of each other, Quatre hid his head in his hands in shame. "How am I supposed to get anything done when I'm forced to work with these, these... ROGUE FREAKS!!! I can't take this anymore, damn it!" Grabbing Wufei and Duo in a strange moment of strength, Quatre flung his fellow pilots onto opposite benches. "YOU! THINK! NOW!"
All four other pilots stared at the usually polite Arabian in awe. "Woah," Duo murmured, his jaw dropping. "Someone needs to chill."
Without saying a single word, Trowa stood up and held a small leather pouch up to his spastic companion's nose. Instantly, Quatre fell into a calm stupor and was slowly lowered onto a bench to relax.
Raising an eyebrow, Heero looked over at Trowa and asked, "What is that stuff?"
Trowa, smirking, replied, "Just a little something I give the lions to calm down."
Duo grabbed the bag and took a whiff. "Dude, this is narcot... narcot..." Without finishing his sentence, Duo fell into a deep, drug induced sleep.
"I'm going to go kill Relena," Heero said calmly as he stood up. "You guys in?"
Trowa and the battered Wufei nodded. "We should come to make sure you actually go through with it," the chauvinist pilot hissed, holding his hand over the large bruise on his cheek.
"Say it again and I'll put another bruise on that face of yours."