Waiting For You
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic By Stiffanie Flores
Homepage: Ranma Fanfiction by Stiffanie
Disclaimer : Ranma 1/2 and all characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. This fanfic is written for enjoyment and self-fulfillment purposes only.
Epilogue:
Till Death do us Part
I need to talk with you again,
Why did you go away?
All our time together
just feels like yesterday.
I never thought I'd see
a single day without you.
The things we take for granted
we could sometimes lose.
And if I promise not to feel this pain
will I see you again?
'Cause time will pass me by
maybe I'll never learn to smile,
but I know I'll make it through
if you wait for me.
And all the tears I cried
no matter how I try,
they'll never bring you home to me
won't you wait for me in heaven?
Do you remember how it was
when we never seemed to care?
The days went by so quickly
'cause I thought you'd always be there.
And it's hard to let you go
though I know that I must try.
I feel like I've been cheated
cause we never said goodbye
And all the tears I cried
No matter how I try
They'll never bring you home to me
won't you wait for me in heaven?
'Cause i miss you so
and i need to know
will you wait for me?
| - Will You Wait For Me? | ||||
| - by KAVANA |
[Final entry in Tendo Akane's diary. Date : two days before her death]
It's been so long. Sometimes, I still can't believe that Ranma's dead. It's as if I wake up every morning half-expecting that this is all just a bad dream. But it's real.
I thought I could forget him. In a way, perhaps I have. I can think about him now without crying, and other people can bring up his name without being afraid I'd make a scene. It has been two years, after all. I have to get on with my life.
Once I had thought that without Ranma, I had nothing to live for. Overcome with grief at the news of Ranma's death, I'd tried to kill myself. In a blink of an eye, my world had turned upside down. My fiance - the person I love... he's dead. I didn't even have the memory of his love to tide me over, because I didn't know if he truly loved me.
But he did. My family and friends have assured me that he did, and I believe them. I have to believe he did, or else I would go insane. That's all I have now - painful, and yet so precious memories.
I remember him sitting beside my hospital bed, holding my hand, his blue-gray eyes filled with concern as he watched over me. During that time, his was the last face I saw before I drifted off into unconsciousness, and when I woke up, he was still there, watching over me.
He left on a journey to find a man who knew a cure for the poison, my family told me. He left to find a cure to save me, as I'd once again managed to get myself into trouble, leaving it up to him to come to my rescue. Nothing too surprising.
Except now, he never came back. He was gravely injured, Ryouga told me, after fighting the bandits who were taking advantage of two young girls.
That's my Ranma. Brave, honorable Ranma. He would never turn his back on anyone in need, even when he was in a hurry to get back to me. I would always remember him like that. He never turned his back on me, either. If not for me, maybe Ryouga could have gotten him treatment in a nearby village and he would have been saved. But even as he lay dying, his only concern had been for me. And in my dreams, I see him lying in a pool of his own blood, as he called my name. He died for me.
Sometimes, the pain is unbearable. It's so hard to go on without him, pretending to be happy when there is nothing left of me but a hollow shell... And then, just when I think I can't stand it any longer, my mind conjures an image of him, his face contorted in pain, as he called my name... and that gives me the reason I need to keep on. Because he died for me. Because I love him, and this is really the least I can do for him. Because I want him to know that I will always love him for that. For loving me that much. For everything.
It's by far the hardest thing I've ever done, to go on living, putting on a happy mask for my family's sake, even as I felt empty inside. For how could I ever be happy again, when the one person who's ever brought me happiness is gone forever? How could any little joy I have now ever measure up to the happiness and contentment that came with being with Ranma, loving him?
Time does heal all wounds, as I'm sure it will mine. But even as the hurt grows less and less with each passing day, it digs a deeper hole within me, a void, which I know could never be filled. He has burned himself into my soul, and like carvings against stone, I cannot do anything to undo them.
My friends, my family... they've all tried so hard to help me fill that gaping hole in my life. I drowned myself in schoolwork, my training, teaching classes during the summer... But somehow, it isn't enough. *Nothing* is enough.
Nabiki once told me that perhaps the only way to purge Ranma from my heart completely is to fall in love again. But I can't help thinking, can I ever love someone that much again?
Shinnosuke... he's been a wonderful friend. I can't even imagine the past two years of my life without him. God knows he's tried so hard to help me, to make me forget...
And he just told me that he loves me. Can I tell you just how much of a surprise this was? Shinnosuke loves *me*. Not only that, he knows I'm still not over Ranma. He told me he would wait for me, until I'm ready.
I have so much to live for - my family, my friends. Shinnosuke. Here is a man who promised to wait for me until I can accept him. He told me that he would always love me, no matter what happens. I know he can make me happy, take care of me. He's given me everything I wanted, what more could I ask for?
I remember, I used to want those things from Ranma. I wanted him to say he loved me, and that he would take care of me forever. I wanted from Ranma a sense of security and an assurance that he would always be mine. But he died before he could do any of that. And now, Shinnosuke promises me all of that, and much more.
I do love Shinnosuke. Not in the way I loved Ranma, but still, I believe I do love him. I love him for all the things he's done for me, for all the good things that he is.
But I can't love him like that. I'm not sure I can love anyone. Not right now. Maybe not ever. I don't know.
But I know I can't let things go on, can't continue to deceive both of us that I'd be able to return his love. I'm so sorry to have let things go this far, for not realizing the truth until now. But when he was telling me he'd wait for me, until I've forgotten Ranma, I couldn't deny it anymore. I can't go on pretending anymore.
I can't let him do this for me. He deserves more than what I can give him. He deserves to be happy. I want him to be happy. And yet, how can he be happy, if I let him continue to love me, letting him hope I'd love him someday, when I don't even know if I can ever find it in myself to love again? Until I'm sure I can love him, the way that he wants me to, I have to let him go.
I will continue living, and maybe one day, I would be able to open my heart to another. But until that day comes, I'll continue to love Ranma. Even though he's gone, in my heart, I know we'll always be together. I'll always remember him, keep the memory of him safe in my heart, until we're together again.
****
A soft wind rustled through the leaves in the forest. Shinnosuke closed his eyes, and inhaled the clean air. After two years in Tokyo, two years amidst modern technology and modern people, he still came back.
After all, he reminded himself, he only stayed in Tokyo because of her. Without her, he had no life there. *This* was where he was needed, where he should be. *This* was home.
He stopped beside a tree, laying his hand against the rough bark. It seemed so long ago, but he could remember it like yesterday. The scene replayed itself in his mind. The woman he loved threw caution aside, stripped off her shirt, risked her life to rescue her beloved. The strong young man, leaping from inside the Orochi's mouth, launching himself at his fiancee, covering her body with hers, shielding her from harm.
Moments later, he'd stood aside, watching the couple a few meters away. From the distance, through the surrounding mist, he couldn't see their faces, only the young man, tall and proud, standing protectively beside the young woman, looking ready to take on the world for her. And she'd never looked happier, or more content, than she did at that moment, at her place beside him.
At that moment, standing in this exact spot, he'd known that nothing he could do would make her look at him the way she looked at her fiancee. They were literally meant for each other, in every sense of the word. Even death couldn't separate them.
Shinnosuke looked up at the sky, endless blue with white wispy clouds. If he concentrated hard enough, he could imagine the young man standing amidst the clouds, his arm around his fiancee. Unlike in the forest, however, he could see the smiles on their faces, the love shining in their eyes.
The couple turned and walked away, their fingers entwined. Shinnosuke watched them as their figures grew smaller and smaller, until they disappeared completely among the clouds.
"I wish you happy, Akane," he whispered to himself, as he continued walking home, where grandfather was waiting.
And he knew that she was, wherever she may be.
A note from your author (And a rather long one at that) :
Hello, people.
I hope you all enjoyed reading "Waiting For You." I certainly enjoyed writing it.
The idea for "Waiting For You" was originally conceived when I thought of writing a story about a young couple in love, both dying young, and being reunited in death. This story was inspired by many romantically tragic novels and movies, primarily the Chinese movie "Butterfly Lovers" or "The Lovers" (Chinese title : "Liang Xu") starring Nicky Wu and Charlie Yeung, where the movie itself is in fact based on a Chinese love story.
Unfortunately, I never got to write the story. A couple of years later, to satisfy my craving for "more" Ranma when the local channels stopped airing Ranma and I'd read the entire Ranma manga, I started to read fanfics. Soon, I began to seriously consider the idea of writing my own Ranma fanfic. Furthermore, while I certainly enjoyed reading Ranma-and-Akane-live-happily-ever-after fanfics, I had wanted my own story to be a bit... different. For lack of a better plot, I took my original plot for "Waiting For You" and revised a few details, and it became a Ranma+Akane story.
So what kind of story is WFY? Some has said it was dark, some said it was sad, or even depressing as hell, some said it was WAFFy... personally, I prefer to think of it as a "romantic tragedy," where the elements of a darkfic, a sadfic, and a WAFFy fic are combined... At least, this is certainly what it was intended to be.
"Waiting For You" is my first major fanfic attempt. While on the overall, I am pretty much satisfied with it, there are still some things I want to change. Plenty of revisions are in order, like the scene of Ranma's death, and the reactions of Akane and her family to Ranma's death. However, I doubt that I will have the chance to revise these. At the most, I will probably just do some editing and tighten up some loose spots, but that's all.
There are many people (and things) that have, consciously or otherwise, contributed towards the completion of my very first finished work. I thought I should give credit to them, before anyone here sues me for plagiarism. ^_^
Chapter 1 : A Gift for Akane
The idea of Akane pricking herself with a brooch, and thus injecting herself with the poison, was something I'd read in a Nancy Drew mystery a long time ago.
The design for the dress Akane was admiring was designed after a dress I myself own. And no, it is not like something Shampoo wears. No, it is much more modest than that. ^_^ It looks a lot like many of Akane's sundresses.
I do realize that Ranma is being extra-nice, not only in this chapter, but throughout the entire fanfic. I like him best this way. ^_^ And besides, I've always thought that Ranma can be nice (really *is* nice, in fact) if he wanted to be, especially after he's accepted that he really loves Akane, which he has in this fanfic.
Chapter 2 : Poison
Akane and Ranma's heart-to-heart talk, I have to admit, was inspired by an almost similar scene in chapter 3 of Alan Harnum's "Waters Under Earth." At least, the part about Akane confessing how she feels about Ranma. Sorry, Alan. ^_^;;
Many thanks to Gary Kleppe for pointing out my obvious mistakes in Ranma's recollection of his brief engagement to Nabiki in volume 17 in the first draft of this chapter.
Chapter 3 : Lost Hope
I was under the impression that a poison acts most effectively when it enters the bloodstream directly. I'm not a med student, though, so I'm not sure. ^_^;;
The part about Ranma holding Akane close to keep her warm was inspired by one of my favorite scenes in the TVB series "Cold Blood Warm Heart (Tian Di Nam Yer)", starring (among others) Chi Lam Cheung and Nadia Chan.
"Chueh Wang" is a Chinese word, meaning "Despair" or "Hopelessness".
Chapter 4 : Journey
The photograph of Akane in this chapter was designed after a very pretty image of Akane - my favorite one, actually. Check it out here if you are interested:
http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/akanesmile.jpg
Also check out the fan-art I made for this chapter:
http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/waiting4.jpg
The part about Ranma wanting/trying to "dump" Ukyou is inspired by many similar scenes in other fanfics, not the least of which is, again, chapter 3 of Alan Harnum's "Waters Under Earth."
Chapter 5 : Sacrifice
Ah yes, the bandits' scene.
I realize it is a pretty lousy (not to mention "unbelievable") way for Ranma to die, but as I've said, I ran out of better ideas. ^_^ Although, to be fair, I have received a lot of suggestions as to how I might be able to improve this scene (thanks, guys!), but unfortunately, I make no promises as to revising this chapter. Regardless, thanks for your comments, guys.
If I do have the time or the inclination to revise this chapter, the end result would be the same - Ranma will still die from a gunshot wound (since I am of the opinion that Ranma can dodge almost anything - he's that fast). At the most, I will simply try to make the fight (and the death) more believable in the Ranma-verse POV.
The "nylon rope" thingie is something I've borrowed from an episode of Rurouni Kenshin. I thought it was a dirty trick, just like something ordinary bandits would try out. Don't sue me.
As a matter of fact, I think "Hiruma" is the same guy who was pretending to be Battousai at the beginning of Rurouni Kenshin, right? ^_^
Oh, and check out the great fan-art for this chapter, by MadPsyence. Thanks, Sarah!
http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/waiting5.jpg
Chapter 6 : Someone From The Past
Ryugenzawa. Shinnosuke. `Nuff said. ^_^
Shinnosuke is my second-favorite guy in Ranma ". I've always liked the way he fell in love with Akane, and I thought he was the type to be still in love with her even after she left him. Sure, he is a tragic figure, especially since he doesn't do anything to fight for Akane's love, even in the manga. But for me, that's what makes him such a great guy. ^_^
And yes, it only figures that he'd realize that Ranma loves Akane, and vice versa, and knowing this, he steps back, thinking that her happiness is most important. As I said, he's a great guy. Perceptive, too. ^_^
Yup, Shinnosuke's memory is already healed in this chapter, but I'd planned to deal with the explanation for that later. ^_^
Yes, I realize that a lot of revisions are in order for this chapter, such as the family's reaction to the news that Ranma has been fatally wounded, etc. But, as with the previous cases, I make no promises.
The part about Akane going hysterical and hitting Ryouga is inspired by a similar scene in Judith McNaught's novel, "Perfect."
Chapter 7 : Aftermath
Yep, Akane's going to commit suicide. You just knew that was coming, didn't you? ^_^
But no, I didn't want to kill her off this early. I thought it'd be better if Akane died of more natural causes, not by taking her own life. And besides, does anyone else believe that people who kill themselves don't get to go to heaven? ^_^
Akane's promise to "go on" (ala Kate Winslet in "Titanic" ^_^) is a crucial point to pave the way towards the conceived ending for WFY. Yup, like I said, this story had an "ending" way before it had a "beginning." ^_^
And yes, it's Shampoo. You knew that too, didn't you? ^_^
Chapter 8 : Revelations
This chapter is named such for the revelations that Shampoo is the culprit behind the attempted murder of Akane, along with Mousse's arrival to confess the details of Shampoo's crime, plus the true identity of Takanari-sensei and his long-lost love.
I had tried to make a decent attempt at humanizing Shampoo and Cologne. I hope the explanation is acceptable.
Ukyou's confrontation with Akane in this chapter is inspired (again!) by a similar scene in Alan Harnum's "Waters Under Earth," just before Akane, Ryouga, Genma, and others leave for China.
Mousse's line "If love listens to reason, then it wouldn't be quite so profound" is actually rephrased from a quote in the TVB series "Remembrance" starring Chi Lam Cheung and Kenix Kwok. The original dialogue went like: "Loving someone doesn't have a reason. (Xi Huan I Ge Ren Shi Mei You Dau Li De.)"
The ending of this chapter, as intended, sounds rather final, since the next chapter would pick up on things after two years have passed.
Chapter 9 : Changes
This chapter was meant to portray the changes in Akane's life, two years after Ranma's death. She does move on with her life, seems happy enough, but I'd tried as best I could to give the reader a nagging impression that all is not as well as it seems. I hope I've succeeded.
And yes, Akane's dream was meant as a bit of foreshadowing. Like I said, I plan ahead.
More explanations to come later.
Chapter 10 : Decisions
Akane's dream in the beginning of this chapter is inspired by the "promise" between Rinoa and Squall in FF8. In fact, it's painfully obvious, especially to die-hard FF8 fans. :) I'm not an FF8 fan, I've never even touched the game, but I fell in love with an FF8 poster and adapted the words into a similar scene in WFY. Check out the poster at this URL if you're interested:
http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/ff8.jpg
The crystal rose was inspired by a similar scene in the TVB series Detective Investigation Files (Part 2), starring Michael Tao as Dai-Yung, and Kenix Kwok as Jessie. (Incidentally, Dai-Yung and Jessie are probably my most favorite on-screen couple, and besides, they remind me a lot of Ranma and Akane. ^_^ They fight a lot, break up once or twice, go through a lot of bumpy roads throughout their relationship, but they still come together in the end, all because they really, truly love each other. Anyway, anyone who's watched this series would know what I'm talking about. ^_^)
Yes, I had intended to have Shinnosuke confess his real feelings, but I had wanted to have a certain amount of ...suspense?... before Akane's final decision is revealed. To quote Mike Loader (of IMBS fame), "endings require closure and answers", and that is what I intended the WFY epilogue for.
Epilogue : Till Death Do Us Part
It wasn't until I sent out this chapter to the FFML that I noticed that the title is totally wrong for this story. Oh well. ^_^;;
As previously mentioned, I had always planned to have everything explained (from Akane's POV) in the epilogue. I had meant to portray that Akane will go on living, not only because it is the right thing to do, but simply because she has no other choice - and she only hopes that by doing so, someday she will be happy again. But if she were given a choice, she'd still choose Ranma, life OR death.
It's my version of a Ranma and Akane love story. "True love doesn't have a happy ending - it simply doesn't end." I hope you liked it, too. ^_^
Another thing : I didn't have the heart to leave Shinnosuke hanging from that final scene in WFY chapter 10 (like I said, even if he isn't Ranma, he's still a great guy ^_^), so I envisioned a scene where he'd look up in the sky and see Akane and Ranma together, and know that he did the right thing by letting her go.
And I just know that he'll be happy for both of them. "Love is being happy just knowing that she is happy."
Oh yeah, and if you're interested, there's another fan-art for the WFY epilogue, at this URL:
http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/waiting_ep.jpg
****
All that being said, I hope you have all enjoyed reading this story.
Last but not the least, many thanks to my pre-readers, Jade, Mei, and Sarah (MadPsyence). Thanks a lot, guys. I couldn't have done it without you!
Thanks to Sarah (MadPsyence) for the fantastic fan-art for Chapter 5.
Many thanks to Jade for the cool poster fan-art for WFY.
Thanks to everyone who's sent me C&C and encouraging email.
Thanks to the authors of so many much more fantastic works Ranma fanfiction out there. You guys were my idols. Really! ^_^
Till next time,
Stiffanie
stiffanie@mailcity.com
stiffanie@mail.com
http://www.angelfire.com/sd/Ranmafanfic/index.html