[Author Notes- Well I didn't really get too many reviews on this story, but I still have to continue the story; call it a weird fascination with an angst/depressed suicidal Mark. Warning for all those m/r haters- you might not want to read from this chapter on- just leave it a once chapter story. Once again I don't own any of these characters, I just like to screw with their lives-Emily]
"Roger Davis? Mr. Roger Davis?" a voice calls to me breaking the monotony of the silence.
Lifting my head, I finally noticed a small man looking down at me with a worried expression on his face. "Yea, that's me. Is he alive? Is he going to make it? How bad is it?"
"Calm down, Mr. Davis. First off we have your friend stabilized at the moment, but he hasn't woken up yet. He injected himself with a tremendous amount of heroin, but it appears that he got help in time because we were able to inject him with a drug called Naloxone, which when it's injected intravenously immediately reverses the side effects of opiates on the system. We started him out on a 2mg drip and have increased it every ten minutes. He has received 8mg as of right now, and his body has showed signs that it has flushed out of his system but if need be he can receive up to 2 more mg. We really can't be sure what damage his body withstood until he wakes up, but as of right now the prognosis looks good."
"So you think he'll be okay?"
"Physically? Yes. Emotionally? I'm not sure. You're friend must be suffering through some extreme emotional problems right now. Your friend is an extremely lucky man, he injected enough heroin to kill a man twice his size yet he managed to survive. What happens from here is unknown, but your friend is going to need to be placed on a bunch of medications and is going to need to see a therapist a few times a week. He's going to need you to be by his side, to be his friend as well as partner. Show him how much you love him, in more ways than just by being here, if you know what I mean."
I blushed as I realized that he assumed that Mark and I were a couple. I guess the assumption isn't too far off the way we always bicker and goof around with one another. But rather than spending time correcting him, I just wanted to see him, "Can I see him?"
"Of course. You'll need to keep it quite, because his body will be still hyper sensitive to the different senses but it shouldn't be a problem. Follow me."
[later]
I don't know how much time passed, but after watching over a hundred people pass by my chair I felt a hand touch my shoulder. Looking up, I noticed Collins peering back at me with tired eyes. "Hey man. How's he doing?" he asked.
"I don't know Collins-I have no clue. They injected him with this drug, Naloxone or something like that; that's supposed to reverse the effects of the drug. You have no idea how pale he was-he didn't even look alive when I found him besides the fact he was twitching really weird. He was barely breathing and I could hardly find a pulse… I'm just wondering how much he took to cause that sort of reaction- you get drowsy right after you inject the stuff and then get really energetic, you know? He must have taken enough that it slowed down his heart so much that the opiates didn't even give him the high. Why would he do something like this?"
"I don't know, Roger. You know how upset Mark's been lately. Something he heard must have just triggered everything he's been fighting. This must have seemed like his only option-to…to end his life."
"Alls I can think of is that he heard us all kidding around, before he arrived and thought we were serious. You know, when we were talking about how much we all hated him and how big of a loser he was…God, Collins I don't know what I'd do if he doesn't make it through this. He means so much to me-more than even I knew-or he'll ever know." My voice faded away as I got lost once again in my thoughts, barely noticing the tears that had begun to trickle down my face for the thousandth time that night.
We sat there in silence for quite a long time both thinking about Mark, silently praying that he'd make it through this alive and healthy. After awhile, I noticed that I hadn't seen Maureen or Joanne since arriving at the hospital. "Where did Maureen and Joanne go?"
"I think they were headed down to the cafeteria or something, but Maureen was going to call Mark's mom first."
"Damn! His mother doesn't need to know about this, she already worries about him enough living in the city, without knowing that he tried to commit suicide."
Collins nodded his head, remembering all the times she'd call just to make sure they had enough toilet paper and groceries, "I don't think she was going to mention what he did, just the fact that he was in the hospital. She probably just wanted to talk to her. You remember how they used to talk when Mark and her were still dating- you'd think Marks' mom died and went to heaven getting to hear all kinds of gossip from his girlfriend."
"That woman can be so frustrating sometimes. God, I worry about him so much sometimes…I'll be lost without him."
"You love him, don't you?" Collins asked placing a hand on Roger's shoulder as he wept.
"Of course I do. He's been my best friend for the longest time."
"No-Roger, you didn't hear me did you? You love him don't you? Like love him like you loved Mimi, like couple love."
I never really even thought about it until he mentioned it, but I guess it does make sense. I love Mark- not just as my best friend that's been there for me all these years but also as something more. I couldn't imagine living without Mark in my life; pestering me to take my medicine, goofing around with in the loft when no one else was around, spending time just being quite as we both were lost in our separate art, to tell all my problems to; he's my soul mate. But I'm not gay…I've never thought of guys that way and how am I to know if he even feels the same way about me? Why the hell do I have to realize this now?
"Yea…um…god, I don't know. I think I love him, but it just doesn't make any sense. Dammit! Why did this have to happen? I didn't even think of Mark in that way until ten fucking minutes ago, when the doctor told me that they flushed the drugs from his system but wouldn't know anything until he woke up. I mean, I never thought of guys in that way, I'm not gay."
[more to come soon, I promise- please review]