Author's Note: This was meant to be a philosophical story, but it didn't quite turn into what I wanted it to, please forgive me. And I try not to take ideas from other things unless I need to or unless they're too good, like the love and apathy thing in the last chapter. I hate being called a plagiarist, so if you see something that you think I copied, don't turn away in disgust (like I often do), just put it in the review, 'kay? And I'll apologize or tell you that I made it up (if I did, of course) And sorry that this is too fast-paced, but I'm losing my love for writing. And finally, I thank Rap's for helping me with some ideas on this story. And disclaimer, of course I don't own Legend of Dragoon otherwise I'd be in my mansion by now.

The Meaning

Part Three: Of Tears and Laughter

"How do you feel?" Meru asked quietly as she sat next to Rose on the roof of the archway of Empathy. Rose had convinced her that the doorways themselves were not deadly, just what was inside, so the Wingly felt safer as she sat on the stone. Rose herself could not jump up there as she used to be able to—being mortal was still a sore spot with her—so Meru, with a bit of difficulty lifted her onto the archway. They had sat there for quite a while in silence before Meru decided to speak.

"What do you mean?" Rose replied, just as quietly, her elbows propped on her knees and her head in her hands as she gazed into the distance with a grimace on her face.

The night was cloudless, the dull moon a large silver disc. The air was muggy but pleasant, and the brilliant stars seemed frozen against the black velvet sky, a night that one should share with a friend…or a sister. It seemed like a night detached from the course of the universe, when time mired in its own existence, stopped.

But that wasn't possible, because time, like death, waited for no one. And Rose's time was running out.

"How are you doing? You know, with eight days left."

Rose shrugged eloquently. "What can I say? I'm full of lots of emotions. Remorse, anger, fear, and all of the emotions on the archways. Love for all of you, my friends. Apathy from life. Joy at having seen you all again. Despair because there's no way out. Fury because I can't do anything about it. Greed because I don't want to leave, I still want to see more of life. Trust, because I trust all of you. Sorrow at having to leave. Empathy because I am sharing this moment with you, and I understand all of you. Excitement because I still get a kick out of a challenge. Hope for some blinding angel to swoop out of the sky and free Darius and I, to say that we need not die." She put her head in her hands. "I feel so strange, compressed and cemented. Like a piece of rock sitting like a lump on the edge of a cliff." She shrugged again. "Are you all right?"

"Me?" Meru twirled her right index finger in the air, created a small blue-tinged bubble that she popped with her manicured fingernail. "I'm sad, upset. Part of sorrow and despair, I guess. I just got my sister back and now she's going away again? I don't understand why. It's not fair, Rose. It's not fair!"

Rose smiled sadly, patted Meru's shoulder. "Do you remember the first words I said when I came back to the team?"

The Wingly nodded. "You said, 'Poor little Meru. You still think that the world should be fair?' Those were your exact words. Scared the hell outta me for a while."

The dark-haired woman tucked her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, looking like a daydreaming child. Her voice was quiet. "I suppose…life isn't fair at all. It's not. There is no perfection. As they say, 'Life sucks—"

"'And love's a bitch.'" Meru finished, giggling slightly. She hated curses, but it was a famous quote.

"Exactly. Life does suck, and then it withers away and dies. Love's a bitch because…well, because." Rose smiled slightly. "It took me so many years to understand love, only to lose it and then find it again and lose it again to find it again." She frowned. "I don't understand life, but…it may not suck as much as people think. There is some justice. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here now. I wouldn't have been able to say goodbye. I wouldn't have met Darius again. You wouldn't have met Guaraha." She smiled, and her face brightened. "How are things between the two of you anyway?"

"We have a good relationship. I love him." Meru took a deep breath. "I was luckier than you. I knew I loved him at first sight, and I never lost him. I never will, as long as I live. And even when I die, I'll still love him."

"Perhaps. Or maybe after death there is nothing. It's just poof and gone. How can anyone know?"

"You know, don't you? You were dead, after all."

Rose only shrugged, and Meru could swear that she heard her say, "Are."

Sitting silently, Meru could detect that strange scent again. "Are you wearing some kind of perfume?"

"Yeah, the one I wore when I first came back. Jasmine and roses. I'll let you use it."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, Meru. I promise."

"Thanks. It smells just heavenly!" Meru imitated a woman that she had seen on the streets of Lohan advertising. But she saw Rose's face change at the word of 'heavenly'.

"I lost my faith in the gods long since before. I believe they are there, but I do not trust them anymore." Rose sighed, leaning her head back. "In eight days, I must leave. Is there anything that I can do for you?"

"No. It should be me asking you that. I'm content, well, almost. Just be yourself, Rose. Don't lie to us."

"How am I lying?"

"Tell me the truth. Do you truly wish to marry Darius because you love him, or because you feel it would make him feel better?"

Rose pondered her question. "I am almost certain that it is because I love him. I think so. But I'm not certain of many things, so I can only guess."

Meru nodded. "Good. Then your life is complete."

"I guess so. The reason I came back was because I wanted to see life again, to complete it. Like Kanzas, I was unsatisfied with the conditions of my death. So I came back and finished things. I can go to death with a smile on my face because I know that everything is complete. Like Kanzas." She frowned and sighed. "Poor Kanzas. He hid himself behind a mask of stone to keep his frightened soul out of sight. He and I are alike in more ways that I cared to admit before. I never really hated him, really."

Meru smiled. "Hate's not one of the emotions, remember?" She pointed to the archways. "Rose, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, little sister."

"When you first appeared at the party, Shana asked if it was really you. You replied, 'I think so'. What did you mean?"

Again Rose was silent for a long time. "How can anyone be sure of anything? You are sure that there is life, yet how can you be absolutely certain that you are here, and not just part of some illusion?"

"You said yourself that if it hurts, it is not illusion."

"Wrong. I was wrong. Illusions can wound as well. I am not sure whether I am truly myself. Whether I am truly Rose. After all, she died, right? Or whether there truly is a Rose, and it is not someone that my mind made up to get away from the darkness. Maybe you're just an illusion of my mind as well."

Meru shook the feverish woman. "Rose!" She snapped. "You're thinking things too far. Life is life. No need to think of such things. I can't reassure you of anything. But I can tell you this. If there is a Rose on Endiness, you are her. If there truly is a Rose, then she would be you. And if I am just an illusion, this illusion will care for you, okay?"

Rose smiled. "You're right. Maybe I am overthinking."

"Come on. Let's get back to the others. I forgot, Shana said she was almost finished with the dress. She wants you to try it on."

The wedding was not as elaborate as they would have liked to give their good friend. The most they could come up with on such short notice was turning the main room of Trust into a wedding hall. Satin drapes—leftovers from the dress—hung on the walls, in shades of white. The altar was whittled out of wood from a tree that Kongol had uprooted from Mille Seseau. He had carved it himself, wonderfully. Everyone had used their elements to try and make things seem more beautiful, but there wasn't much to work with, so they had to settle for the ancient mystery of the stone ruins.

Miranda had tired herself flying to Mille Seseau for the fabric of the gown, but she could only carry that much, so the bridesmaids wouldn't be able to wear gowns.

Shana was helping Rose to get ready, refusing to let anyone else within fifty yards of the new bride. Dart and Zieg did the same for Darius, leaving the rest of them pacing in the ceremony room, anxious and impatient.

Darius appeared first—of course, it just seems that guys are ready faster than girls, with ample reason, of course—in immaculately ironed black pants and a loose flowing white shirt that made his hair flare like white gold. He was smiling, and Meru had never seen anyone who was facing death so happy.

A while later Rose appeared and the room fell silent.

Shana and Miranda had done an excellent job on making the dress. The material could not have been made of anything on Endiness. It looked like silk or polyester, but neither of those cloths had the same cosmic softness, or the sprinkling of crushed diamonds like celestial objects dotting over it. The skirt flared out just above her hips, trailing down in soft folds to drape over her ankles and feet. The tight bodice left her arms and shoulders bare, and the whiteness of the dress made her skin seem paler than it already was. Her hair was coiled up and she looked extremely frightened.

"Hey!" Meru called, flying in the air as she usually did when she was excited. "You look great! Don't just stand there! Come on!"

With Shana giving her a little push, Rose tottered the first few steps down the aisle before regaining her composure and walking the rest of the way confidently, kissing Darius when she got there.

Meru had never been one for weddings. The whole sermon and the vows seemed rather boring to her. Instead she focused on the way Rose and Darius were smiling, one of the few content people that she knew. She knew that they were the kind of people who would be together for the rest of their lives.

Too bad their life was going to end in a week.

The flustered priest, still a bit upset at having been dragged out of the Queen Fury in the middle of the night, requested to go back to the ship, and King Albert promised him that he would as soon as the festivities were over.

The priest didn't go back for quite a while.

The countdown was too short. In no time at all it was already the morning of that fateful day and it was time to say the official goodbyes.

Darius stood to the side as his newlywed wife embraced her friends one by one.

"Hey, don't look so sad." She said to Haschel, the first one to step up to say goodbye. "You've got a couple of decades left in you. Enjoy them and then you can see me again. Take good care of your son-in-law and your grandson, and maybe I'll refrain from haunting you for putting that squirrel in my bed." She smiled easily as she spoke. "Take it easy, old man."

"I'm no older than you!" he retorted. "You take care of yourself, and say hello to my daughter."

"I'll do that." She hugged Albert now. "You're a good king, Albert of Serdio. Keep it that way. And say hello to Emille and Tesalor for me. I left the child a present in the room I was assigned to. I forgot to give it to him. Do that for me?"

"Of course. We'll miss you." Albert's eyes were glistening.

"Kongol, I'm amazed at how much your grammar's improved. I'm sure that one day you'll be able to restore the Giganto race somehow, or at least keep the people aware that they once existed, and were not just legends. I've never said much to you, but you were always there, like a mountain ready to support a friend."

"Miranda, you were always a pain when I first knew you, but then we became friends, sort of. Thanks for showing me many things in life, like about darkness and light, and about how pain can be sharp or dull. We share a part of each other, remember? I won't be so dark anymore." She smiled as she embraced the Sacred Sister. "You take of yourself and your family."

"Take care of yourself, witch." Miranda replied.

"Zieg, I'm sorry that things didn't work out." Rose took the hands of her former fiancé and held them for a moment. "But I'm glad that I was able to bring you back so that you could be with your son. You deserve it. You saved humankind, you know."

"As did you, Rose. You sacrificed yourself too many times to count."

"Meru." Rose held out her arms and let the Wingly run into them. "I'm sorry."

"Are you sure this has to be done?" Meru wailed. "Maybe this is Hades' idea of a joke."

"Little sister, what have I told you about facing the truth? Sometimes life isn't fair, but you got to stand up to it, remember? Hold that elfin chin high and face the world. You taught me many things too, about friendship and life. And Guaraha, you better take care of my baby sister, or I'll come back to haunt you." Rose smiled but the smile wavered. She was afraid of death too.

Guaraha smiled, trying to pry Meru away.

"Dart." She sighed as the warrior held her tightly. "I have never been able to find the words to describe you. Passionate probably suits you best. I always admired that about you, you know. And I'm sure that your child will have that quality as well." She looked at Shana over Dart's shoulder. "Take care of your child, Shana."

The prophetess nodded, her hands resting on her belly, not even wondering how Rose knew.

"Dart, I regret having run from you because of that misunderstanding. We wasted a lot of time when we could have been together again." She smiled against his armor. "But I'll always remember everything you taught me, and all of you."

She stepped away from them, held out her hand to Kongol. The Giganto hesitated before putting a small intricately carved dagger into her dove-white palm.

"This has to be done." Roes said firmly, yet her tone was gentle. "Remember your prophecy, Shana? Fire burns, rain falls," She paused, smiling sadly. "And Life fades. It's an unbreakable cycle. I am only too glad to return to it. Goodbye, my friends. I love you." She paused, made a face. "I sound like those sappy novels that Meru loves to read. But now I understand why they do that. Because what they say is true. I do love you. Oh, and Meru, I've figured out the answer to the riddle of existence.

"It doesn't matter whether or not everything is just an illusion, because we are here, and we all know each other. I love all of you, illusion or not. So I don't care. Everything is perfect and I wouldn't change a thing. I have a husband whom I love, and all my friends. If every death could be this perfect, I am sure there would be many people who would be anxious to die. So even if you are all illusions, I don't care. Nothing matters except for this moment, right here in time."

"But this moment is going to end soon." Meru whispered.

Rose shrugged, looked at the dagger, and then at her husband, who knelt beside her on the stone floor of the room Love. "Well, no one can have everything, right? Live for the moment, and don't think too far ahead. By the way, if you ever see two little Minintos that go by the names of Andurs and Miko, tell them that Rose has finally found the answer. My answer is yes. Farewell, my friends."

Meru turned her head, not wanting to see Rose lift the dagger to her own breast. She knew that her dark-haired sister would hesitate just long enough to smile at her friends and to kiss her husband, and then she would plunge the blade into her pale flesh, deeply, as a warrior would. She knew that blood, red as a summer rose, would pour out. Rose would smile again and then fall silent.

Meru wailed silently, burying her face in Guaraha's shoulder.

She barely heard the body fall.