GRAVEN IMAGES
by Your Cruise
Director and Cybermum
Once upon a midnight sleazy
Kathryn Janeway got quite queasy
Over
all her cheap and easy
Holographic lover boys.
Though her men were fine
designer
Specimens, she missed the finer
Points of sweaty love, with
minor
Heartaches mixed with major joys.
So this dreary night found
Janeway
Pacing down Voyager's main way
To the quarters of
Chakotay
Where she rapped upon his door.
"Commander, you know it's
killing
Me to live without your thrilling
Courtship. If you would be
willing...?"
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."
When she heard his declaration
In response to her flirtation,
Kathryn
felt intense frustration
Deeply, down into her heart.
For she had never
expected
To be totally rejected
Or feel forlornly affected
By refusal
on his part.
"Oh Commander," she implored him,
"This is not an impulse or
whim,
Nor a quickie or interim
Hiatus in our cold war.
I have now come
to comprehend
That you are more than my best friend.
To prove that is what
I intend."
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."
Baffled and a bit heartbroken,
Kathryn rued the words she'd
spoken,
Wishing she'd not reawoken
Emotions she'd put behind.
Though
she did not feel like fighting,
Just because his non-requiting
Rebuffs
seemed so harsh and biting,
Anger made her less than kind.
"Must I assume
that you lied to
Me when on New Earth you tried to
Swear your fealty, at
my side to
Stay, my angry warrior?
Does your promise mean so little,
Is
your oath just air and spittle
Rather than a true committal?"
Quoth
Chakotay, "Nevermore."
Kathryn gazed into his eyes and
Sadly sighed, "I understand.
Things
seldom end up as we've planned.
So. Is this how it will end?"
She turned
to watch the stars stream by
And bit her lip. She would not cry,
She'd get
through this, she wouldn't die;
She'd continue to pretend.
After all for
seven long years
Across Delta Quadrant frontiers,
She was the one who'd
voiced the fears
Chakotay chose to ignore.
She took a breath, lifted her
chin
And told him with a quirky grin,
"We'll never know what might have
been."
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."
Though often a man of one word,
Still Kathryn thought it was unheard
Of
him to repeat some absurd
Term from Edgar Allan Poe.
But just then she saw
a flitter
Like feedback from a transmitter,
And noticed the Doc's
emitter
Attached to Chakotay's toe.
"Commander, you're artificial!
Now
there must be an official
Inquiry, and quick judicial
Punishment, for I
deplore
Whomsoever made this double;
He is in a world of trouble,
I'll
reduce his rank to rubble..."
Fake Chak burbled, "Nevermore."
The Captain gave her direction:
"Shut down this holo-projection
And
perform a full inspection
Of Voyager's computer."
Holo-Chakotay
disappeared
And Kathryn Janeway commandeered
The electronic souvenir
Of
her ersatz suitor.
"Voyager's systems are on line.
Would you restate or
redefine
Your last command?" "Oh never mind,"
Said Janeway, "I'll go
explore."
She turned to leave and then turned back:
"Computer, Janeway,
coffee, black,
And make it hot." "Don't give me flak,"
Quoth Computer.
"Nevermore."
Storming down to engineering,
Kathryn saw crew disappearing
Into
quarters, as if fearing
To arouse the captain's wrath.
"Who would have the
gall to harrass
Me, or would want to embarrass
Me? Dalby? Torres and
Paris?"
She pondered, then did the math.
"Tom's got holographic
guile.
Seven keeps Chak's face on file.
Since they've gotten Doc's
mobile
Emitter, he knows the score.
Only Torres could have
programmed
Overrides that wouldn't get jammed,
With Tuvok's help. They can
be damned!
I'll trust my crew nevermore."
On further investigation
Into the holo-creation
She added to the
equation
Both Neelix and Harry Kim.
The whole command team was
busted.
Kathryn Janeway was disgusted.
"Is there no one whom I've
trusted
Who's not guilty?" She looked grim.
"I'm sorely tempted to
confine
This underhanded crew of mine
To the brig. Instead I'll
assign
You to scrub the ship's warp core.
And if you had any notion
Of
the chance of a promotion,"
(Harry Kim showed some emotion)
Quoth the
Captain, "Nevermore."
Just when things were getting creepy
And Harry was getting weepy,
Onto
the bridge stumbled sleepy
Chakotay, who'd dozed right through
All the
excitement and fury
Of the trial without jury;
Since his eyes were
slightly blurry,
He stepped in without a clue.
"Captain, I can plainly see
that
You suspect a mutiny, but
I wish someone would tell me
what
Treason our crew had in store."
"Chakotay, how could I do
less?
Are you even real? Get shoeless.
Where's the emitter? I'm
clueless,
But you'll fool me nevermore."
"Captain, I find it very odd
That you wish to see me unshod;
However, I
wholly applaud
This most welcome change of heart."
"Oh, Commander,"
Janeway replied.
"Don't be absurd." And verified
It was him, whilst her
terrified
Crew tried quickly to depart.
Chakotay'd had about enough
Of
mysteries and blind man's bluff
And chose this moment to hang tough
Which
he'd never done before.
"You've played this game for seven years.
You've
argued protocol and fears.
You've forsworn sex for our careers."
Quoth
Chakotay, "Nevermore."
Complained Janeway, "This is a sham.
Awhile ago, your hologram
Remained
as silent as a clam
When I asked him to love me."
"Uh, Captain," Tom Paris
cut in.
"Chakotay knew nothing. The sin
Lies with all of us.
Discipline
Us, but please, let him go free.
We have witnessed your
uptightness,
And thought it might bring some brightness
If we made for you
a likeness
Of a man whom you adore."
Kathryn was extremely puzzled.
"If
you hoped that I'd get nuzzled,
Tell me, why would you have
muzzled
Holo-Chak with 'Nevermore'?"
Torres was apologetic.
Harry Kim just looked pathetic.
Paris said,
"Well, the synthetic
Chakotay was planned with care."
"We felt, you see,"
explained the Doc,
"(And we consulted with Tuvok)
It was time you both had
a talk."
Janeway fixed him with a glare.
Neelix shuffled in
dejection.
Seven said, "You seek perfection,
But we felt that a
rejection
Might just shake you to the core."
She paused, then said with
compunction,
"I must confess at this junction
That there was a slight
malfunction.
But we promise nevermore."
Janeway raged against this chaffing,
But Chakotay burst out
laughing.
"Kathryn, ere you start re-staffing
Our bridge crew, I'd like to
meet
This holographic version of
Me who tried to decline your love.
I'd
like to give that lout a shove,
Make him kneel and kiss your
feet."
Janeway's first reaction was to
Think that he was teasing her,
too.
"I expected better from you
Than the guffaws of a boor."
But
Chakotay smiled sincerely,
Said, "Kathryn, I love you dearly,
But if you
can't see that clearly,
I'll plead with you nevermore."
Unusual animation
And this ardent declaration
Proved Chakotay's
protestation
Of love was to be believed.
Janeway turned back to face her
crew.
"I see that I did misconstrue
Your motives, therefore all of
you
Are absolved." They were relieved.
"Dismissed." She waved them all
away.
"I love you too, my Chakotay,
But ere our love we do display,
One
thing I must underscore.
You have to promise me although
It might be fully
apropos,
Never cite Edgar Allan Poe."
Quoth Chakotay, "Nevermore."
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