PLEASE SEE CHAPTER 1 FOR DISCLAIMER, NOTES, ETC.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Intently, I stare at the door, wondering what fate awaits me once I have
crossed the threshold. Will it matter how carefully I choose my words or
has my future already been written in the stars, unfolding before me
like a novel drawing to its certain conclusion?
With a creak, the heavy door opens and a man I don't recognize beckons
to me. "Come this way, Doctor Carter."
I follow obediently and come to stand before the waiting Board of
Governors of Cook County Hospital. Some eyes fall upon me with hostility,
others with boredom. I ignore them all and despite my earlier resolve
to hold nervousness at bay, I can't help but feel a slight flutter in
my belly. However, I am certain that it is not outwardly noticeable and
I face the group with a stance of confidence.
The proceedings begin with an introduction of all who are present,
including David Malucci and Lucy's father. Malucci's gaze is among
those who reflect doubt and scorn at my research. I believe I can
count on Charles Knight to support my efforts as he has in the past,
but I know I must convince the rest of the Board as well. This will
not be an easy task.
It doesn't take long for the catcalls to begin.
"If this is going to be another waste of time, Carter, you may as
well go home right now."
"Why all the mystery? All this fuss over something ridiculous, I'm sure."
"You've made promises before with no results. I doubt this will be
any different."
"Enough! Come to order!" David barks, banging his gavel.
I wait until the mutterings die down before I speak. "Gentlemen, I know
I have let you down in the past but I urge you to listen to my proposal
with an open mind. This is what I have been working towards for the
past seven years. If I succeed, our collective future will be forever
changed for the better."
Here I pause dramatically and from the quiet stillness of the room,
it appears I at least have their undivided attention. "I believe we
can all agree that in every man, there are elements of good and evil.
Kindness and hatred. Most of us go about our daily lives without giving
a second thought to these dualities in our inner selves. We focus on
the good and control any negative side of ourselves. We don't cross that
line which leads to truly evil acts, like murder. But there are others
in society that don't control this baser instinct, whether intentionally
or through true insanity. What if I told you, gentlemen, that I am
working on a chemical formula that can separate one's personality
into good and evil."
I swing up my hand, with thumb and forefinger a hair's width apart.
"I am *this* close to finding the key. Just think of it. A world with
no more anger or hatred. No more murder and violence. The extraction
of evil from all of us, so we may live in peace and contentment."
Rumblings of voices from the Board begin to grow and I raise my own
voice to be heard. "If I am right and the good and evil forces within
us can be separated, we can ultimately eliminate all evil from this world.
My work with animals has shown promise but I need to try my formula on
a human being..."
My speech is interrupted by skeptical outrage. "This is ludicrous!
You cannot possibly think we would support such a proposal!"
"You're a mad scientist, Carter. I've never heard such a preposterous
idea in all my life!"
"Blasphemy! You will surely burn in Hell for these experiments
you're conducting."
"Who are you to play God?"
"Think of the legalities involved. This is dangerous ground."
I look from one twisted face to the other, my hope slipping away
from me. How am I to convince them? "You must give me the chance
to prove my theory," I say.
The rantings around me continue, drowning out my plea. I look over
at Charles and he slowly shakes his head. My heart sinks with defeat.
"John, you know I have always supported you but in this, I must agree
with the others. What you are proposing sounds too dangerous.
These are people's lives you intend to manipulate."
"I am asking for one man to test my formula on. One man to save
the lives of many!"
More shouting and grumbling descend on my head until David calls
for order once more. The sorely disgruntled Board members slowly
quiet down and he waits until there is complete silence. "May I have
your verdict, please, gentlemen. All those in favour say 'aye'."
Complete and utter silence. "All those opposed say 'nay'."
My ears ring from the chorus of nays that resound in the room.
Everyone has spoken, save one.
David looks to him with questioning eyes. "Sir?"
Charles looks straight at me as he ponders his decision. I can guess
what his answer will be, but he mildly surprises me with his response.
"Abstain," he says, his voice subdued.
David speaks briskly and not without a glitter of victory in his
dark eyes. "By five votes to zero and one abstention, Doctor Carter's
proposition is rejected. That is all, gentlemen. Thank you."
I stand quite still for a moment, stunned and dismayed. These men
before me have no vision; not an ounce of imagination for the kind
of world that is within our grasp.
I turn to leave and find my path blocked. David is regarding me,
his expression perplexed. "What has gotten into you, John? I used to
respect your work so highly. Do you truly not see that what you
proposed here today is madness?"
"You don't understand. None of you do. If you only knew how close
I am..."
"For your sake and for Lucy's, I pray that you come to your senses
and put an end to this. You're a doctor. You should be healing
people, not subjecting them to your chemical potions."
The heat rises in my cheeks as I glare at him. "Leave Lucy out of this.
She has always been supportive of my work and always will be."
Stepping past him, I don't hear the voice behind me until a hand clasps
my shoulder."
"John, wait." Stopping, I turn around to face him. Charles is frowning
at me. "I'm sorry."
"I know."
"Do you? You must realize this isn't personal. It is not you that
I am rejecting, but your proposal. I still look forward to the day
that I may call you 'son'."
Only a hint of a smile crosses my lips. "As do I. Please excuse me
but I...I need to leave."
"Of course."
Escaping into the hallway, I breathe a sigh and look towards a friend
that has been waiting for me. Peter Benton only has to look at my
face to guess the outcome of this meeting. "I'm sorry, John."
"Yes, so am I." My words are clipped and brusque. "Let's get out
of here."
I walk at a hurried pace, anxious to leave the building. Once outside,
I come to a halt, unsure of which way to turn. Peter begins to move
and I naturally fall into place at his side. "They didn't even give
me a chance!" I burst out angrily. "They have no right to judge me,
the fools. I am so close. I know it can work but I need the opportunity
to prove it. I have worked so damn long and hard on this, only to have
them brush me aside. It isn't fair, damnit!" Aware that my voice
has been rising and strangers on the street are staring at us with
disapproval, I lower my tone. "Sorry, Doctor Benton. I don't mean
to take out my frustration on you."
"Save your apologies. You need to forget your troubles for a while."
We make the remainder of the trip in silence and finally stop in
front of the darkened entrance of 'Magoos', a local drinking hole.
Peter senses my hesitation. "There's nothing to be afraid of.
We'll just have a drink or two and maybe a little fun."
"*That's* what I'm afraid of," I say dryly.
"Come on, you know I'm only joking. We won't do anything inappropriate,
I promise."
He opens the door and gestures for me to lead the way. Throwing caution
to the wind, I go inside. Just one drink. Then I'll go home to bed,
most likely suffering from a headache and will lie awake for hours,
contemplating my dubious future. It sounds like a grand plan.
Weaving our way around the tables, we make ourselves comfortable in
a back corner. I am thankful to have his friendship tonight. We weren't
always so close. In fact, there were times when I thought I hated him.
He is my mentor. The man I looked up to the most when I was studying
medicine. He was also my tormentor. The man who pushed me to my limits,
always driving me to excel higher and further than I believed I was
capable of achieving.
One of the many lovely ladies serving drinks swings by our table.
She bats her eyelashes at me but immediately frowns when she notices
my companion. "I don't think we serve your kind in here, mister."
This is not an unfamiliar scenario, but it still gets my back up
every time. "You should address him as Doctor Benton," I say icily.
"Hey, stop trying to cut in on my tables!" exclaims another young
woman, practically elbowing the offensive waitress in the ribs.
"Ouch! Nice try, Abby. This isn't your table but you know what?
You can have it."
As she whirls around on her heel and stalks away, Abby sticks her
tongue out. I swallow a chuckle behind my hand.
Abby flashes a brilliant smile that encompasses both of us. "What can
I get for you gentlemen?"
"You don't mind serving a coloured man?" Peter asks.
She narrows her eyes and appears to study him. "Well, if you were
purple or blue, I might have a problem. But a good lookin' man
like yourself? I'll serve you anytime. Now, what'll it be?"
She takes our orders and disappears from sight. We barely begin
a conversation before another intrusion sets in. A tall,
well-dressed man with a friendly grin approaches Peter's side.
"Doctor Benton! Imagine meeting you here, after all these years.
How have you been?"
Peter introduces the man as a former colleague and I stand to
shake hands with him. The man insists that Peter meet several
of his friends sitting at another table and with some reluctance,
my companion allows himself to be led away.
Settling back down on my seat, it isn't long before Abby returns
with drinks in hand. "Where's your friend?"
"Talking to some people at another table."
"The cad! It didn't take long for his eye to start roamin', did it!"
This makes me laugh, which, by the mischievous glint in her eyes,
is the effect she hoped for. "You look much more handsome when
you laugh. You were positively glowering before."
"With good reason."
She shrugs. "Yeah, well, what can you do about other people.
Some of 'em are just stupid."
A very astute observation. "Indeed." I grow concerned when I see
her suddenly wince, as if in pain. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, just this twinge in my foot. I've been on my feet all day."
I nod towards the empty seat across from me. "Why don't you sit down
for a while and rest?"
"I'd love to but The Spider would kill me."
"Er, who's that?"
"My boss. And he is just like a spider too. Creepy, crawly, nasty little
thing with beady eyes." She winces again and clutches the back of the
chair for support. "Well, maybe I'll sit for just a minute." Easing into
the seat, she stretches her legs out with a sigh. "Ahh, that feels good.
A minute or two and I'll be good as new."
A minute passes and then several more. She does not make a move to
vacate the seat and I do not press her to leave. There is certainly
no harm in her taking what is no doubt, a well-deserved rest. "Uh oh,"
she mumbles under her breath, quickly scrambling to her feet.
"What's this, Abigail, a holiday?" sneers a short and balding man,
who places himself squarely in her face.
Although I am certain this is The Spider that she referred to, I feign
ignorance. "Excuse me, but we were having a conversation."
"So? She's here to work, not talk." He pauses to leer at me with
a suggestion that disturbs me greatly. "Unless you want to buy her
for the night, Mister...?"
"Certainly not! It's Doctor John Carter. And you are?"
"Robert Romano. Ever so pleased to meet your acquaintance," he says
sarcastically. With a dismissive air, he turns back to his employee
and swats her on the behind. "Break is over. Let's see you serving
those drinks."
"My feet are really hurtin' me tonight, Robert. Could I have just a
couple of minutes more?"
"You've already had two minutes too many. I won't tell you again.
Let's get to it!"
Something seems to snap in Abby as she faces him defiantly. "You inhuman
toad! All I'm askin' for is a few minutes of rest and you're actin'
like I want a week off. What's the big deal?"
Robert remains so calm and quiet, even I am unprepared for the violence
that explodes from him. A vicious, back-handed slap sends Abby reeling
into the chair, knocking it to the ground. Her head snaps back with
such force, I almost expect it to separate from her neck. With a
muffled thud, she crumples to the floor.
Appalled, I shoot to my feet. Robert begins to bend over her, arms
outstretched. Anyone witnessing the scene from this moment might
think he intends to help her up, but I envision him dragging her up
by the hair or delivering another blow.
Coming behind him, I grab his shoulders with both hands, pulling him back.
"Stay the hell away from her. What do you think you're doing!" I demand,
my voice hoarse from outrage.
"Let go of me!" he yells, twisting to and fro to escape my grip.
Although he is much smaller than I am, barely taller than Abby's height,
his strength surprises me. I finally release him, physically placing
myself between him and the still form on the ground. It worries me that
she has not yet stirred.
The commotion has caught the attention of others nearby and some of
the men start calling out their opinions.
"Leave her alone. She's a nice girl."
"Yeah, Spider, you've done enough."
"I think she's dead."
"No she's not, she just hit her head."
"Yeah, you mean it connected with The Spider's fist."
"Shut up, all of you!" Robert eyes them with menace and the majority
of the men shrug and return to their drinking. Turning to glare at
me next, he straightens his collar. "You're a doctor, right? See if
she's alive. If she is, she better get to work or she's fired.
If she's dead, take her outside and let the rats deal with her."
He stomps away and I fume in silent anger. What an absolutely repulsive
man. What previous abuse has Abby endured under his violent hand?
Kneeling on the hard floor, I brush the dark brown hair away from
her face, revealing an ugly welt high on her cheek. I note with
much relief that she is breathing and at my slight touch, her eye
twitches. Grimacing in pain, her eyelids flutter and finally open
just a crack.
"Abby? Can you hear me?"
"Mmmmm..."
"Don't try to move yet. Take your time."
As I wait for her to gain some strength, Peter rushes to my side.
"I heard what happened. How is she?"
"She's conscious, at least," I say through clenched teeth. "That bastard.
He could have killed her and he wouldn't even have blinked an eye."
A little while later, with Peter's help, Abby is sitting on a chair
and I am tending her wound as best I can. One of the other ladies
brought a bowl of water and a clean cloth. With each dab at any
tender spot, she flinches and inwardly, I flinch with her, hating to
cause her additional pain.
She manages the tiniest of smiles for my benefit when I am done.
"Thank you, John. I'm sorry, may I call you John?"
"Of course you may. And I am the one who should apologize. If I
hadn't insisted you sit down, this wouldn't have happened."
"Nah, it would've happened anyway. It's what usually happens when I
shoot my mouth off at him but sometimes, I can't help myself."
"It isn't right. You shouldn't have to live like this, Abby."
Her sad, dark eyes look older than they should as she retorts,
"A lot of things shouldn't happen in this world but that doesn't
stop them from happenin'. It's just the world we live in.
And unfortunately, this is part of my world. I have to try to
make the best of it, that's all. And to stay out of Spider's
way for a little while."
"John, it's getting late," Peter quietly reminds me.
"Yes, you're right."
Abby rises from her seat, a bit unsteady, but she waves away my
offer of help. "I'm fine. See? Good as new, like I told you.
Thank you again, both of you, for your help."
"Here, take this." Impulsively, I reach into the inner pocket of
my jacket and hand her a card.
"What is it?"
"Where you can reach me if you...ever need a friend."
Glancing up from the card, she says nothing and simply nods.
Peter and I make our way outside and once again, silence is our companion.
I mull over what has transpired tonight. It seems I have been pulled
into Abby's world, however briefly, and it has made a lasting impression
on me. Part of me is reluctant to leave her and with a wave of shame,
I remember Lucy. Abby is a stranger to me; someone that needed my help
and I happened to be there. That is all.
"What will you do now?" Peter asks, voicing the question that I have
been avoiding all night. Perhaps this partly explains why I felt
so drawn to Abby. She was a distraction from the troubles of my
own world. I know there is a decision to be made. I just don't know
yet what it will be.
"I don't know."
"You have worked so hard all these years. You mustn't give up."
We will soon arrive at my doorstep and my pace slows, as though my
feet know that I need more time to talk this through. "What if they
are right, Doctor Benton? Maybe I have been the fool, believing in
something that is impossible to achieve."
"And what if you are right? You have to find out, one way or another."
We slowly continue on and I stop at the gate. The day has been
long and though I am physically weary, it is my soul that cries out
for rest; for a resolution to this seemingly endless journey. He is
right. I must see this through to the end somehow. One way or another.
"Well, thank you for a most interesting evening."
He displays a brief, but genuine smile. "You are a gifted doctor, John.
I can't say I fully believe in your work because I don't know enough details
about it. But I do believe in you. You must know that you will always
have my support."
I am touched by his words, for he is not one to hand out meaningless praise.
Moments like these are rare and I confess, though he is no longer my
teacher, it feels good to know he supports me. "And you have my
appreciation. Thank you."
We bid each other goodnight and before entering the gate, I pause to look up
at the array of stars in the night sky, pondering that same question; has my
fate already been written, or do I hold the power to control the course of
my life? I suppose, like everyone else in this world, I will never know.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Intently, I stare at the door, wondering what fate awaits me once I have
crossed the threshold. Will it matter how carefully I choose my words or
has my future already been written in the stars, unfolding before me
like a novel drawing to its certain conclusion?
With a creak, the heavy door opens and a man I don't recognize beckons
to me. "Come this way, Doctor Carter."
I follow obediently and come to stand before the waiting Board of
Governors of Cook County Hospital. Some eyes fall upon me with hostility,
others with boredom. I ignore them all and despite my earlier resolve
to hold nervousness at bay, I can't help but feel a slight flutter in
my belly. However, I am certain that it is not outwardly noticeable and
I face the group with a stance of confidence.
The proceedings begin with an introduction of all who are present,
including David Malucci and Lucy's father. Malucci's gaze is among
those who reflect doubt and scorn at my research. I believe I can
count on Charles Knight to support my efforts as he has in the past,
but I know I must convince the rest of the Board as well. This will
not be an easy task.
It doesn't take long for the catcalls to begin.
"If this is going to be another waste of time, Carter, you may as
well go home right now."
"Why all the mystery? All this fuss over something ridiculous, I'm sure."
"You've made promises before with no results. I doubt this will be
any different."
"Enough! Come to order!" David barks, banging his gavel.
I wait until the mutterings die down before I speak. "Gentlemen, I know
I have let you down in the past but I urge you to listen to my proposal
with an open mind. This is what I have been working towards for the
past seven years. If I succeed, our collective future will be forever
changed for the better."
Here I pause dramatically and from the quiet stillness of the room,
it appears I at least have their undivided attention. "I believe we
can all agree that in every man, there are elements of good and evil.
Kindness and hatred. Most of us go about our daily lives without giving
a second thought to these dualities in our inner selves. We focus on
the good and control any negative side of ourselves. We don't cross that
line which leads to truly evil acts, like murder. But there are others
in society that don't control this baser instinct, whether intentionally
or through true insanity. What if I told you, gentlemen, that I am
working on a chemical formula that can separate one's personality
into good and evil."
I swing up my hand, with thumb and forefinger a hair's width apart.
"I am *this* close to finding the key. Just think of it. A world with
no more anger or hatred. No more murder and violence. The extraction
of evil from all of us, so we may live in peace and contentment."
Rumblings of voices from the Board begin to grow and I raise my own
voice to be heard. "If I am right and the good and evil forces within
us can be separated, we can ultimately eliminate all evil from this world.
My work with animals has shown promise but I need to try my formula on
a human being..."
My speech is interrupted by skeptical outrage. "This is ludicrous!
You cannot possibly think we would support such a proposal!"
"You're a mad scientist, Carter. I've never heard such a preposterous
idea in all my life!"
"Blasphemy! You will surely burn in Hell for these experiments
you're conducting."
"Who are you to play God?"
"Think of the legalities involved. This is dangerous ground."
I look from one twisted face to the other, my hope slipping away
from me. How am I to convince them? "You must give me the chance
to prove my theory," I say.
The rantings around me continue, drowning out my plea. I look over
at Charles and he slowly shakes his head. My heart sinks with defeat.
"John, you know I have always supported you but in this, I must agree
with the others. What you are proposing sounds too dangerous.
These are people's lives you intend to manipulate."
"I am asking for one man to test my formula on. One man to save
the lives of many!"
More shouting and grumbling descend on my head until David calls
for order once more. The sorely disgruntled Board members slowly
quiet down and he waits until there is complete silence. "May I have
your verdict, please, gentlemen. All those in favour say 'aye'."
Complete and utter silence. "All those opposed say 'nay'."
My ears ring from the chorus of nays that resound in the room.
Everyone has spoken, save one.
David looks to him with questioning eyes. "Sir?"
Charles looks straight at me as he ponders his decision. I can guess
what his answer will be, but he mildly surprises me with his response.
"Abstain," he says, his voice subdued.
David speaks briskly and not without a glitter of victory in his
dark eyes. "By five votes to zero and one abstention, Doctor Carter's
proposition is rejected. That is all, gentlemen. Thank you."
I stand quite still for a moment, stunned and dismayed. These men
before me have no vision; not an ounce of imagination for the kind
of world that is within our grasp.
I turn to leave and find my path blocked. David is regarding me,
his expression perplexed. "What has gotten into you, John? I used to
respect your work so highly. Do you truly not see that what you
proposed here today is madness?"
"You don't understand. None of you do. If you only knew how close
I am..."
"For your sake and for Lucy's, I pray that you come to your senses
and put an end to this. You're a doctor. You should be healing
people, not subjecting them to your chemical potions."
The heat rises in my cheeks as I glare at him. "Leave Lucy out of this.
She has always been supportive of my work and always will be."
Stepping past him, I don't hear the voice behind me until a hand clasps
my shoulder."
"John, wait." Stopping, I turn around to face him. Charles is frowning
at me. "I'm sorry."
"I know."
"Do you? You must realize this isn't personal. It is not you that
I am rejecting, but your proposal. I still look forward to the day
that I may call you 'son'."
Only a hint of a smile crosses my lips. "As do I. Please excuse me
but I...I need to leave."
"Of course."
Escaping into the hallway, I breathe a sigh and look towards a friend
that has been waiting for me. Peter Benton only has to look at my
face to guess the outcome of this meeting. "I'm sorry, John."
"Yes, so am I." My words are clipped and brusque. "Let's get out
of here."
I walk at a hurried pace, anxious to leave the building. Once outside,
I come to a halt, unsure of which way to turn. Peter begins to move
and I naturally fall into place at his side. "They didn't even give
me a chance!" I burst out angrily. "They have no right to judge me,
the fools. I am so close. I know it can work but I need the opportunity
to prove it. I have worked so damn long and hard on this, only to have
them brush me aside. It isn't fair, damnit!" Aware that my voice
has been rising and strangers on the street are staring at us with
disapproval, I lower my tone. "Sorry, Doctor Benton. I don't mean
to take out my frustration on you."
"Save your apologies. You need to forget your troubles for a while."
We make the remainder of the trip in silence and finally stop in
front of the darkened entrance of 'Magoos', a local drinking hole.
Peter senses my hesitation. "There's nothing to be afraid of.
We'll just have a drink or two and maybe a little fun."
"*That's* what I'm afraid of," I say dryly.
"Come on, you know I'm only joking. We won't do anything inappropriate,
I promise."
He opens the door and gestures for me to lead the way. Throwing caution
to the wind, I go inside. Just one drink. Then I'll go home to bed,
most likely suffering from a headache and will lie awake for hours,
contemplating my dubious future. It sounds like a grand plan.
Weaving our way around the tables, we make ourselves comfortable in
a back corner. I am thankful to have his friendship tonight. We weren't
always so close. In fact, there were times when I thought I hated him.
He is my mentor. The man I looked up to the most when I was studying
medicine. He was also my tormentor. The man who pushed me to my limits,
always driving me to excel higher and further than I believed I was
capable of achieving.
One of the many lovely ladies serving drinks swings by our table.
She bats her eyelashes at me but immediately frowns when she notices
my companion. "I don't think we serve your kind in here, mister."
This is not an unfamiliar scenario, but it still gets my back up
every time. "You should address him as Doctor Benton," I say icily.
"Hey, stop trying to cut in on my tables!" exclaims another young
woman, practically elbowing the offensive waitress in the ribs.
"Ouch! Nice try, Abby. This isn't your table but you know what?
You can have it."
As she whirls around on her heel and stalks away, Abby sticks her
tongue out. I swallow a chuckle behind my hand.
Abby flashes a brilliant smile that encompasses both of us. "What can
I get for you gentlemen?"
"You don't mind serving a coloured man?" Peter asks.
She narrows her eyes and appears to study him. "Well, if you were
purple or blue, I might have a problem. But a good lookin' man
like yourself? I'll serve you anytime. Now, what'll it be?"
She takes our orders and disappears from sight. We barely begin
a conversation before another intrusion sets in. A tall,
well-dressed man with a friendly grin approaches Peter's side.
"Doctor Benton! Imagine meeting you here, after all these years.
How have you been?"
Peter introduces the man as a former colleague and I stand to
shake hands with him. The man insists that Peter meet several
of his friends sitting at another table and with some reluctance,
my companion allows himself to be led away.
Settling back down on my seat, it isn't long before Abby returns
with drinks in hand. "Where's your friend?"
"Talking to some people at another table."
"The cad! It didn't take long for his eye to start roamin', did it!"
This makes me laugh, which, by the mischievous glint in her eyes,
is the effect she hoped for. "You look much more handsome when
you laugh. You were positively glowering before."
"With good reason."
She shrugs. "Yeah, well, what can you do about other people.
Some of 'em are just stupid."
A very astute observation. "Indeed." I grow concerned when I see
her suddenly wince, as if in pain. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, just this twinge in my foot. I've been on my feet all day."
I nod towards the empty seat across from me. "Why don't you sit down
for a while and rest?"
"I'd love to but The Spider would kill me."
"Er, who's that?"
"My boss. And he is just like a spider too. Creepy, crawly, nasty little
thing with beady eyes." She winces again and clutches the back of the
chair for support. "Well, maybe I'll sit for just a minute." Easing into
the seat, she stretches her legs out with a sigh. "Ahh, that feels good.
A minute or two and I'll be good as new."
A minute passes and then several more. She does not make a move to
vacate the seat and I do not press her to leave. There is certainly
no harm in her taking what is no doubt, a well-deserved rest. "Uh oh,"
she mumbles under her breath, quickly scrambling to her feet.
"What's this, Abigail, a holiday?" sneers a short and balding man,
who places himself squarely in her face.
Although I am certain this is The Spider that she referred to, I feign
ignorance. "Excuse me, but we were having a conversation."
"So? She's here to work, not talk." He pauses to leer at me with
a suggestion that disturbs me greatly. "Unless you want to buy her
for the night, Mister...?"
"Certainly not! It's Doctor John Carter. And you are?"
"Robert Romano. Ever so pleased to meet your acquaintance," he says
sarcastically. With a dismissive air, he turns back to his employee
and swats her on the behind. "Break is over. Let's see you serving
those drinks."
"My feet are really hurtin' me tonight, Robert. Could I have just a
couple of minutes more?"
"You've already had two minutes too many. I won't tell you again.
Let's get to it!"
Something seems to snap in Abby as she faces him defiantly. "You inhuman
toad! All I'm askin' for is a few minutes of rest and you're actin'
like I want a week off. What's the big deal?"
Robert remains so calm and quiet, even I am unprepared for the violence
that explodes from him. A vicious, back-handed slap sends Abby reeling
into the chair, knocking it to the ground. Her head snaps back with
such force, I almost expect it to separate from her neck. With a
muffled thud, she crumples to the floor.
Appalled, I shoot to my feet. Robert begins to bend over her, arms
outstretched. Anyone witnessing the scene from this moment might
think he intends to help her up, but I envision him dragging her up
by the hair or delivering another blow.
Coming behind him, I grab his shoulders with both hands, pulling him back.
"Stay the hell away from her. What do you think you're doing!" I demand,
my voice hoarse from outrage.
"Let go of me!" he yells, twisting to and fro to escape my grip.
Although he is much smaller than I am, barely taller than Abby's height,
his strength surprises me. I finally release him, physically placing
myself between him and the still form on the ground. It worries me that
she has not yet stirred.
The commotion has caught the attention of others nearby and some of
the men start calling out their opinions.
"Leave her alone. She's a nice girl."
"Yeah, Spider, you've done enough."
"I think she's dead."
"No she's not, she just hit her head."
"Yeah, you mean it connected with The Spider's fist."
"Shut up, all of you!" Robert eyes them with menace and the majority
of the men shrug and return to their drinking. Turning to glare at
me next, he straightens his collar. "You're a doctor, right? See if
she's alive. If she is, she better get to work or she's fired.
If she's dead, take her outside and let the rats deal with her."
He stomps away and I fume in silent anger. What an absolutely repulsive
man. What previous abuse has Abby endured under his violent hand?
Kneeling on the hard floor, I brush the dark brown hair away from
her face, revealing an ugly welt high on her cheek. I note with
much relief that she is breathing and at my slight touch, her eye
twitches. Grimacing in pain, her eyelids flutter and finally open
just a crack.
"Abby? Can you hear me?"
"Mmmmm..."
"Don't try to move yet. Take your time."
As I wait for her to gain some strength, Peter rushes to my side.
"I heard what happened. How is she?"
"She's conscious, at least," I say through clenched teeth. "That bastard.
He could have killed her and he wouldn't even have blinked an eye."
A little while later, with Peter's help, Abby is sitting on a chair
and I am tending her wound as best I can. One of the other ladies
brought a bowl of water and a clean cloth. With each dab at any
tender spot, she flinches and inwardly, I flinch with her, hating to
cause her additional pain.
She manages the tiniest of smiles for my benefit when I am done.
"Thank you, John. I'm sorry, may I call you John?"
"Of course you may. And I am the one who should apologize. If I
hadn't insisted you sit down, this wouldn't have happened."
"Nah, it would've happened anyway. It's what usually happens when I
shoot my mouth off at him but sometimes, I can't help myself."
"It isn't right. You shouldn't have to live like this, Abby."
Her sad, dark eyes look older than they should as she retorts,
"A lot of things shouldn't happen in this world but that doesn't
stop them from happenin'. It's just the world we live in.
And unfortunately, this is part of my world. I have to try to
make the best of it, that's all. And to stay out of Spider's
way for a little while."
"John, it's getting late," Peter quietly reminds me.
"Yes, you're right."
Abby rises from her seat, a bit unsteady, but she waves away my
offer of help. "I'm fine. See? Good as new, like I told you.
Thank you again, both of you, for your help."
"Here, take this." Impulsively, I reach into the inner pocket of
my jacket and hand her a card.
"What is it?"
"Where you can reach me if you...ever need a friend."
Glancing up from the card, she says nothing and simply nods.
Peter and I make our way outside and once again, silence is our companion.
I mull over what has transpired tonight. It seems I have been pulled
into Abby's world, however briefly, and it has made a lasting impression
on me. Part of me is reluctant to leave her and with a wave of shame,
I remember Lucy. Abby is a stranger to me; someone that needed my help
and I happened to be there. That is all.
"What will you do now?" Peter asks, voicing the question that I have
been avoiding all night. Perhaps this partly explains why I felt
so drawn to Abby. She was a distraction from the troubles of my
own world. I know there is a decision to be made. I just don't know
yet what it will be.
"I don't know."
"You have worked so hard all these years. You mustn't give up."
We will soon arrive at my doorstep and my pace slows, as though my
feet know that I need more time to talk this through. "What if they
are right, Doctor Benton? Maybe I have been the fool, believing in
something that is impossible to achieve."
"And what if you are right? You have to find out, one way or another."
We slowly continue on and I stop at the gate. The day has been
long and though I am physically weary, it is my soul that cries out
for rest; for a resolution to this seemingly endless journey. He is
right. I must see this through to the end somehow. One way or another.
"Well, thank you for a most interesting evening."
He displays a brief, but genuine smile. "You are a gifted doctor, John.
I can't say I fully believe in your work because I don't know enough details
about it. But I do believe in you. You must know that you will always
have my support."
I am touched by his words, for he is not one to hand out meaningless praise.
Moments like these are rare and I confess, though he is no longer my
teacher, it feels good to know he supports me. "And you have my
appreciation. Thank you."
We bid each other goodnight and before entering the gate, I pause to look up
at the array of stars in the night sky, pondering that same question; has my
fate already been written, or do I hold the power to control the course of
my life? I suppose, like everyone else in this world, I will never know.