Standard disclaimers for Digimon Adventure 01 and 02
apply. Don't own 'em, never will, and if I did the world would run away
screaming. In other words, suing me would be like trying to turn chocolate
into lead: a pointless and wasteful endeavour. 'Strawberry Kiss Kiss' is
sung by Matsuoka Hideaki and is from CLAMP's Tokyo Babylon.
Warnings: Some language, not much though; this is one of my fluffier
fics. I'm a big Digimon Kaiser fan ::Mina jumps up waves her little flag
that says 'Go, Kaiser!':: so this is mostly about the adorable
Ken-kun—well, and Daisuke, since he's right up there with Ken as my
favourite 02 character. But, like every fic I've ever written
except one to-date, this is shounen ai. After watching quite a bit of
Digimon 02, coming across a gorgeous fan picture by Rensuko
entitled "Kensuke" (which automatically had me squeaking "Wai! Wai!" at
the top of my lungs), and then stopping to type up the words for
'Strawberry Kiss Kiss,' I couldn't help but write this. ::shrug:: Blame
the muse.
K'lendel: Naa, Kaachan, you're always doing that!
::grin:: Isn't that what muses are for?
The stars sparkled brightly in the clear night sky, but Motomiya
Daisuke wasn't looking up at them. As a matter of fact, he wasn't really
looking anywhere at all. He was walking down the street aimlessly, hands
shoved deep into his jacket pockets. He was lost in thought—lost very
deeply in thought—and he wasn't really certain what had brought
about his pensive mood.
Part of it had been Jun; she'd been wailing since the end of the
school day about how cruel it was that her Yamato-sama would rather spend
time with his big haired best friend than with a pretty, eligible girl
like her. Daisuke had had to bite back a snicker at her comment; he just
didn't have the heart to tell his spastic sister that her hair was just as
big as Taichi's, if not more so. He also didn't have the heart to point
out what was right in front of everyone's face: Yamato was taken, and had
been taken for three years.
Had his sister been more of a sympathetic soul, Daisuke might have
felt sorry for her; she really was putting herself through a pointless
ordeal. But Jun could be rather self-absorbed when she was focused on
her problems, and he wasn't about to enlighten her as to Taichi and
Yamato's relationship.
"What about my problems?" he muttered, kicking at a loose rock
and sending it skidding across the broken pavement. "I mean, it's not like
she ever notices that I have problems too. She probably doesn't even
remember what it was like being in the sixth grade—or what it was like to
be twelve."
Sighing, Daisuke stopped to lean against a building, hiding in the
shadows just outside the circle of light provided by the street lamp. In
many ways he looked up to Taichi and Yamato. Not just because they had
been Chosen Children before him, and not just because Taichi had thought
well enough of him to pass on his goggles and his responsibility as the
leader of the Chosen Children to Daisuke. It was more because of…
Well, perhaps it was better to say that he envied Taichi and
Yamato. He knew that they hadn't always been friends—Koushirou had told
him that the two boys had fought three to four times as worse as he fought
with Takeru, back when the original Chosen Children had been starting out.
But he also knew from the two boys themselves that they had felt they were
friends long before any of the others had. Daisuke knew that they were
also much more than mere friends. They'd known since they'd been eleven
years old that they were something special to each other.
One of Yamato's favourite stories to tell was about how he had once
found Taichi talking to himself out on the soccer field, completely
oblivious to what was going on around him. The brunette had been railing
at himself for avoiding Yamato all week—which was a big part of the reason
the blonde had sought him out in the first place. But Taichi had been
doing such a good job of yelling at himself that Yamato had simply stood
and listened. And that had been the start of something more for the two of
them. Yamato would never say anything more than that, only that sometimes
the people that fight the hardest, love the hardest.
Scowling, Daisuke crossed his arms over his chest, bowing his head as
he thought about that. If the people that fought the hardest loved
the hardest… He shuddered, imagining himself in a relationship with
Takaishi Takeru. All he had ever really wanted was to be Takeru's
friend—he still wanted that, and very badly too. But he'd never had an
easy time relating with others—with Jun's abrasiveness his only example,
he'd naturally thought that was the way he was supposed to be. It wasn't
as if his sister didn't have friends—she had so many it seemed that
Daisuke was surprised that she could remember all their names—but
apparently the "attitude," as it had been so dubbed, worked for girls a
lot better than it did for boys.
Why is it that no one can see…? His thoughts trailed off, and
he closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the cool brick of the
building. I act the way I do because I'm afraid of getting hurt. I
mean, it's not like I've had a lot of positive relationships in my life or
anything—Jun's busy with her own life, and Kaachan and Tousan are away on
business a lot. And you'd think with Hikari and Takeru, as well as their
brothers, having been Chosen Children before me that they'd understand how
hard it is for me. First it was gaining the Digimental of Courage; that
was hard enough to deal with because Taichi-sempai felt that it signalled
he should pass the leadership on to me. I don't think that I'm cut out for
it, truly, but I'll do it because I think I'm the only one stubborn enough
to keep things from falling apart. Sure, Takeru has his Hope, but Hope can
only carry you so far.
Pushing away from the wall, Daisuke shoved his hands back into his
pockets and began to shuffle down the sidewalk again. He had no idea how
long he'd been walking for, but it must have been for a while; he'd
already reached the center of Odaiba. Not that he really took an
opportunity to look around or even to think about returning home. He still
had a lot of things to work out, things that he wasn't certain he could
work out on his own, but he was willing to give it a try.
Okay, so having the Digimental of Courage was hard. But then I had
to go and somehow earn the Digimental of Friendship as well. I still don't
know why it came to me—any of the others are much more suited to bearing
it than I. Still, no one seems to see the kind of pressure I feel I'm
under, the kind of expectations I have to deal with, both from them and
myself. Bearing two Digimental—especially the Digimental with Taichi's and
Yamato's crests—is hard for me to do alone. I won't even get started on
how I feel about having the Golden Digimental of Miracles. And no matter
how much they tell me otherwise, I know I'm alone. They don't want to be
my friends, not the way I want them to. They don't want to get to know the
real me…and so I don't let them. To them, I'm nothing more than brash,
bullying, obnoxious Motomiya Daisuke.
I can't help but wishing, though, that there was someone that would be
my friend. Like Veemon, but a human. It seems silly, but I can't really
help it. Veemon is and always will be my first and best friend. But it's
just not the same as having a human friend, someone that I can confide my
secrets in, someone that won't mind if I break down, someone that won't
yell and be disappointed when I stumble. I had thought Miyako was that
friend, but then… Well, other things came along for her, I guess.
Daisuke laughed at that last thought, sighing as he closed his eyes.
Does such a person truly exist? he wondered cynically. Not opening
his eyes, he rounded the next corner—
—and instantly regretted his decision as he quite literally ran into
someone. With a small cry as their heads cracked together, Daisuke found
himself sprawled on his backside in a rather undignified position. The
sidewalk was much too hard for his comfort, he decided dazedly; he
was going to have to think about the merit of pillow-covered sidewalks as
soon as the scenery stopped spinning. He groaned, shaking his head and
reaching up to gently touch the tender spot on his forehead. Wincing he
drew his hand back and decided not to try that again any time soon.
"I'm sorry," he heard a soft, vaguely familiar voice murmur, sounding
painfully close to tears. "I…I…"—there was a small sniffle as Daisuke
tried desperately to get his vision to behave— "…I'm so sorry!"
Peering into the darkness, Daisuke could make out the slight form
prostrated in front of him on the sidewalk, dark head bowed. But Daisuke
didn't have to see his face to know who it was he had run into; he would
recognize that voice for the rest of his life. The last time they had met,
however, had been nothing short of a tragedy. He had no idea what to
expect from this boy, no idea how he would react. When he had run out at
their last meeting, turning aside Daisuke's sincere offer of help, the
genki boy had been worried that he'd never see this equally confusing and
confused person again. Daisuke had wanted to follow, to make sure that
he'd at least made it home, but the other Chosen Children had convinced
him not to. 'It's safer this way,' they had said, as if speaking
with one mind. 'We still don't know if he really is good or not. He
could revert at any time, and then where would we be?'
Smiling humourlessly, Daisuke's gaze softened as he looked at the boy,
who was continuing to mutter his lightly sobbed apologies. Who would have
thought that he'd have a chance run in with him on the night when deep
thoughts had driven Daisuke from his home? He briefly wondered what he was
doing so far away from Tamachi, but then pushed the thought aside.
Tentatively, he reached out a hand and gently touched the boy's shuddering
shoulder, trying to gain his attention.
The boy jerked upright as if he'd been slapped, nearly shoulder-length
ebony hair flying around his face. His cheeks were tear-stained, and his
lips trembled as he fought for the control he'd been infamous for. But
Daisuke took one look into those wide, angular lavender eyes—such
sad, hurting eyes!—and knew that no matter what the others thought,
the boy deserved help.
Daisuke reached out a bare hand, smoothing the hair back from his
face, wiping ineffectually at the rivulets of salty water that continued
to drip from those wounded eyes. "I don't care if you don't want help," he
said quietly, mustering all of the quavering courage he could find in his
heart and soul as he prepared to do what was probably going to be the
scariest thing he'd ever do. "It's been a week since I last saw
you—I was worried that you wouldn't make it back. I thought you were a
wreck then, but now… Dammit, Ichijouji-kun, I'm going to help you whether
you like it or not!"
Ichijouji Ken gasped, looking up in surprise. His eyes held so many
questions, questions that he would never have the answers for no matter
how hard he searched. "Why?" he asked hoarsely, tears falling from his
dark lashes as he closed his eyes. "I don't deserve it… Why would you,
after all I've done, want to help me?"
Clenching his jaw, Daisuke tried to think of anything he could say
before it came down to physically manhandling the former Digimon Kaiser to
get through to him. There was a chance…it was a slim chance, but he
thought it might work. It wasn't as if he had a lot of experience in the
department or anything, but he had a feeling that they had more in common
than just soccer and the Digitalworld. Taking a deep breath, he said,
"Because right now I need a friend—a real friend—just as much as
you do."
Ken froze at those words, his eyes going wide. He looked up at Daisuke
hesitantly, fear written all over his much too pretty face. "Friends? You
and I…?"
Daisuke nodded solemnly, trying to silently convey to his racing heart
that it was okay to slow down to a normal pace. "I— Maybe I didn't have
the same problems as you, Ichijouji-kun, but I did have my own. And I
still have my problems, just as you still do."
"But you have friends," Ken whispered in disbelief, wondering dazedly
if he was still in his bed dreaming. Why would someone like this boy,
Daisuke, the leader of the Chosen Children, want to be his friend? Maybe,
in the past, he had entertained dreams of such a thing, but his desire to
dominate the Digitalworld, to dominate the one person he saw as an
ultimate threat to his control, as being stronger than himself, had ruled
out that possibility.
"Not really," Daisuke replied with a wry smile, voice tinged with an
edge of hurt as he made that statement. "You see, Takeru and Hikari-chan
were members of the original Chosen Children—they've been doing this a lot
longer than I have, and I think they're worried that I'll really screw
things up. I don't blame them; I mean, I do get a little overeager, and I
don't always think things through—and I do have a really bad
temper," he added with faint blush. "But they've got each other, and
that's almost all that they seem to need, outside of their families.
Miyako and Iori each have their own interests, as well as many friends
that they do activities with. Hell, Miyako is constantly trying to tutor
in chemistry just so she can blow up a few more sinks and Bunsen burners!
And the sad part is, people let her tutor them, because they like her."
He looked away, drawing his hands back to himself self-consciously. "I
guess I have my family, but I don't think they really understand what it's
like. I can't let them know that I'm a Chosen Child, just as I can never
get up the courage to truly tell my sister how mad her recent selfishness
makes me. Jun is a pretty nice person, deep down, but she hurts me so bad
because she doesn't want to get to know me anymore, to understand me. I
wanted a relationship with my sister like the one Yamato and Takeru share,
or like the one that Taichi and Hikari share, so badly when I was little.
But I never got it, because I was just little, obnoxious Daisuke." He
snorted, shaking his head. "No one has ever bothered to ask why I'm that
way, though."
Turning back to Ken, he swallowed the lump that had suddenly filled
his throat. "I don't want it to be that way for you, Ichijouji-kun—Ken. I
don't want you to have to deal with those kinds of things on your own.
Because it's hard, because it hurts so damn bad, and because it's not
fair. No one deserves that," he added softly.
Ken's eyes searched Daisuke's shuttered face, wondering what had come
over the usually cocky and collected-if-not-calm leader of the new Chosen
Children. Did he really share so much in common with this boy who had
seemed so alien because of his genki radiance? Those large smoky-brown
eyes were dark with some emotion that he couldn't name—perhaps because he
was still searching for his soul—but he knew that it made him feel safe;
safer than he had since he had stolen his Digivice from Osamu's desk and
entered the Digital World for the first time. He wanted to believe what
those eyes offered so badly…
"Please?" Daisuke asked, holding out his hand. "I can't ask you for a
second chance, Ken, because I never had a first. But I'd like to have a
first chance at being your friend."
Blinking back another trail of tears—he hated that he'd been crying so
much—Ken accepted that offered hand with his own, giving the brunette a
tentative smile. At the moment, he had nothing else to hold onto other
than what those eyes held. "I think I'd like that," he whispered.
I'm gonna believe in your eyes So please don't say love is
blind I wanna be reading your mind In secret communication
Daisuke smiled, sighing in relief. "In that case, I'm going to pick
both of our sorry asses up off this cold cement. And then I suggest that
we find some place a little better than a street corner to talk."
Laughing briefly at his words, Ken nodded. "All right." He let Daisuke
help him to his feet, clutching at the boy's arms as a sudden wave of
dizziness hit.
"You okay?" Daisuke asked with concern, eyebrows drawn together in a
worried frown.
Again Ken nodded, smiling. It felt strange to have someone ask him
that and genuinely care about the answer, but it was a good type of
strange feeling. "Just stood up too fast," he said, tucking his hair back
behind his ears.
Grimacing, Daisuke said, "Good thing I was here. The last time that
happened to me, I reached for the nearest thing to hang onto and the
nearest thing got pissed and moved. Next thing I knew I was kissing some
really rocky road and it did not taste good."
"Takeru?" Ken asked, cocking his head to the side. His faint smile was
still in place, and the tears had finally ceased.
"No, Hikari-chan," Daisuke said with a sigh. Then he brightened
considerably, shoving the bad memories from his mind for the moment. "Naa,
I know this ice cream place that's not too far away. Taichi-sempai took me
there the first time, and we meet there every now and then to discuss
what's going on in the Digitalworld. It's got world-class ice cream."
Ken bit his lip, looking away. He really didn't feel like dealing with
a large number of people, not in the state of emotional turbulence he was
in, but… Glancing up he found Daisuke giving him a nearly perfect
rendition of the "poor puppy" expression—quivering lip, glistening eyes,
and all—and he suddenly felt like laughing. He tried to bite it back, but
a small giggle escaped nonetheless. "Okay, okay!" he said in agreement,
feeling that strange feeling once again as Daisuke beamed at him and
splayed his fingers in a victory sign.
"I'm telling you, Ken, you didn't stand a chance," Daisuke told him
with a poke to the tip of the black haired boy's nose. "That look is
probably the only reason people notice my existence. Well, unless I'm
doing something that I probably shouldn't. I always get noticed then."
Blushing from the poke on the nose, Ken asked lightly, "And how many
years did you have to spend in front of the mirror practising that
expression?"
Daisuke's grin only grew as he latched onto Ken's arm and began to
drag the boy with him down the sidewalk. "Why, I was born with the ability
to make that face," he replied, casting a sly look at Ken. "Just like I
was born with the ability to be obnoxious."
Laughing, Ken shook his head, feeling better than he had in… He
couldn't remember when he'd last felt this good, but he thought it might
have been before Osamu had died. "You're not obnoxious, Motomiya-kun," he
said, "you just try too hard."
Coming to a nearly screeching halt, Daisuke turned and look at the
black haired boy with wide eyes. "Do you really think that's what it is?"
he asked softly. "Is it because I try too hard? I always thought… Well, I
always figured with the comments people have made that it was because I
didn't try hard enough."
"I know it is." Ken took a dare and returned the previous insult,
poking Daisuke on the tip of the nose for emphasis. "Trying too hard… In
some ways, it can be worse than not trying hard enough. I think…I think
that it was because I tried too hard to be what and who I wasn't that I
became the monster you met in the Digitalworld." His expression turned
pensive, his eyes becoming shuttered once again as he reflected yet again
on all of the bad things he had done in the Digitalworld as the Kaiser.
"Oi!" Daisuke said sharply, giving him a small shake. Some semblance
of lucidity returned to Ken's eyes, but the hurt lingered like a festering
sore. "I also met, for the first time, someone that got screwed over even
worse than the rest of us did. I met someone that was supposed to be kind
and gentle and had been turned into someone that was his complete
opposite. We all have our past mistakes to make up for, Ken—yes, maybe
yours will be a little harder to make up than some—but all you have to do
is ask and I will help you."
Again Ken looked into Daisuke's eyes for the answer, and again he came
up with the same one; those eyes wanted him to believe. And he
wanted to believe, he needed to believe. A small shudder wracking
his body, Ken managed to smile faintly after a moment. "I don't quite
think I'm ready yet," he said. "To ask for help, I mean. There's still
something that I need to find before then, something that I'm looking for.
But I think that I do need you as a friend, Daisuke, just because I need
something to anchor me in reality right now."
Daisuke nodded, expression sagely. "I see. You are merely using me for
your own purposes and then you shall discard me on the wind like
yesterday's laundry." Sighing, he declared, "What is the purpose of this
love if it shall all be for naught? My lady fair seeks only to reap her
own gains!"
For a moment, Ken thought Daisuke was serious, and he panicked. But
then he caught a hint of something in those smoky-brown eyes, something
madcap that spoke of anything but seriousness. Ken narrowed his eyes,
glaring at the brunette for all he was worth. "I should hit you with a
large, blunt object for that comment," he said. "Lady fair? Where'd you
get that from?!"
Daisuke didn't reply right away; he simply grabbed up Ken's hand again
and resumed their walk towards the ice cream parlour. After a moment he
began to laugh, shaking his head. He looked over at Ken, who by that time
had a slim black eyebrow arched in query. "Gomen, Ken, because I mean this
in the nicest way possible, but have you ever taken a really good look at
yourself in the mirror? I mean, up until I met you I thought that Yamato
had a slight case of overly feminine features and habits. Ken, you're just
really too pretty for a guy."
Both eyebrows went up at that. Pretty? he thought. Boys
aren't pretty! But…Daisuke thinks I'm pretty. "What if I cut my hair?"
he asked after he thought for a moment.
His reply was a look that said he'd grown horns, sprouted wings, and
was dancing a reel all on his own. "I think that even if you were to cut
your hair you'd still be too pretty," Daisuke said in a choked voice.
"Although, if you do cut your, I might consider disowning you."
Blue-violet eyes blinked a few times in surprise. "Disown me? You'd do
that just because I cut my hair?" Ken asked in disbelief.
Grinning humourlessly, Daisuke said, "Ken, your hair is one of your
defining features. If you cut it, you just wouldn't look like you.
Well, you wouldn't look like you you."
"Motomiya-kun, that made absolutely no logical sense," Ken pointed
out, the corners of his lips twitching in humour anyway.
"Since when have I ever been logical?" the second leader of the Chosen
Children muttered, wondering himself just what it was he had been trying
to say. Why had he felt so disturbed by the thought of Ken's hair being
cut? Was it because he was worried that shorter hair would make the boy
resemble the Kaiser, or was it because of something else?
Seeing that the brunette was rather wrapped up in his own thoughts,
Ken shyly grasped the boy's wrist in his hand and tugged, indicating that
they should continued walking. "It's okay to not be logical," he said,
gazing at the people that suddenly began to appear. They were entering a
much more crowded section of Odaiba, and his earlier feelings of
apprehension were returning. "Sometimes, things just aren't logical no
matter how hard you try to make them that way."
Out of nowhere, Daisuke suddenly spoke up and asked, "So what's your
favourite drink? Tea, soda, water, fruit juice—what?"
Ken thought about it for a moment, not noticing that his grip had
slipped and he was now clasping Daisuke's hand. "I'd have to say lemonade.
It's kind of tart, but at the same time, it's sweet." Kind of like
you, he thought, flushing as his mind made the comparison.
"Mine's fruit juice, especially anything with cherry, raspberry,
blackberry, or yuzu," Daisuke said with a grin. "And if they ever manage
to put all four into a drink, I'll be the first in line to buy it."
Surprised, Ken said softly as if he were talking to himself, "That's
funny. I had you pegged for a soda person. I mean, you practically radiate
that 'I've had nothing but pure, liquid sugar to subsist on for the last
twenty-four hours' theory."
Daisuke snorted, saying loftily, "You're just jealous that I'm so
genki."
Smiling sadly, Ken said, "Maybe I am."
The brunette frowned at that. "Naa, it's not like I'm the only
ultra-genki person in the world. I mean, there's lots of people out there
that are a lot more hyper and happy than I am."
Ken shook his head, black bangs slipping into bright blue eyes. "No,
Daisuke, you're definitely one of a kind," he stated with a smile.
Blushing, Daisuke thought about denying it, but when he saw the look
on Ken's face, he decided to let the matter slide. As it was, he was
trying to figure out why he felt so happy when not all that long ago he'd
been utterly depressed. Was it simply because he and Ken had agreed to be
friends, to work things out between them in order to help one another—or
was it because Ken was holding his hand as if afraid that Daisuke might
suddenly disappear? He certainly wasn't going to complain; Ken looked far
too peaceful at the moment, and he didn't want to disturb him for fear
that that peace would leave.
Smiling slightly, Ken had his head tipped to the side, his eyes half
closed. He was determined to ignore the throngs of people that continued
to grow despite the lateness of the hour. He also wanted to enjoy himself,
something that he hadn't truly done in a long time. "Well, if you're a
juice drinker, than you must get your sugar high from somewhere else."
Daisuke grinned, holding up a finger to his lips. "Don't tell any of
the others this because it's a secret, but I'm a complete Pocky addict.
There's a snack machine near the school and I swear I have the thing
emptied by the second day it's been refilled. Aneki is the only one that
knows, and that's just because she was trying to bribe me once and the
only thing she had on hand was Ichigo Pocky."
"Ichigo Pocky… Well, after hearing about what you like to drink, I
can't say I'm incredibly surprised," Ken said with a small laugh.
"Well, what about you, Ken?" Daisuke asked, arching an eyebrow. "I've
divulged my sweet weakness, so what's yours?"
Did he have a sweet weakness? Ken wondered. He was having a hard time
recalling, until he remembered the day his dad had brought home a bag of
candy that a fellow worker had given him. "I guess it would have to be
chocolate covered toffee." Flushing faintly, he added, "I like the way
it's crunchy and sweet."
Do you like toffee and lemonade? It used to taste so good
handmade When all the smiles of yesterday Are childhood
conversations.
They walked together in silence, hands still clasped together though
neither boy really seemed to have noticed; if they had, they weren't
saying anything about it. If the people out on the streets seemed to be
paying an unusual amount of attention to them, Ken would duck his head and
stick just a little bit closer to Daisuke. Daisuke, though, was oblivious
to what the other people were doing, weaving between crowds easily.
Glancing sidewise at his companion, Ken wondered why he had acquiesced
so easily. It hadn't been the first time that Daisuke had made overtures
towards him, but it had been the first time he'd given in. Was it just
that he didn't have the will to say no, or was it something else?
"You're awfully quiet," Daisuke said with a grin, tugging Ken after
him as he turned the corner. "Is everything okay?"
Frowning in thought, Ken bit his lip. Was he okay? No, he wasn't okay,
but he had a feeling that Daisuke wasn't referring to his psyche, at least
not in this instance. Was he okay about being with Daisuke in the middle
of Odaiba's busiest section, holding hands with a boy who had been his
hated enemy just scant weeks before? Surprisingly, with a small flush and
a feeling of shock, he was.
"Un," he responded, nodding his head. He turned, giving Daisuke a shy
smile. "Everything's just fine."
After a few more moments of silence, Daisuke came to a stop. He
pointed off to their left, turning to Ken. "That's the ice cream place I
was telling you about." He bowed his head, shuffling his feet. When he
looked up his cheeks were just a tad pink. "If you don't want to, we don't
have to go in. I know you're not really comfortable with crowded places."
Ken shook his head, squeezing the other boy's hand gently. "It's fine.
I'll be fine, and I'd kind of like to get ice cream with you." Smiling, he
added, "Besides, it'll be the first normal thing I've done in a long
time."
Daisuke laughed at that, feeling as if some immeasurable weight had
been lifted from his shoulders. "Normalcy is way overrated."
"Well, then come on, abnormal one!" Ken said with a laugh, heading
towards the ice cream parlour with Daisuke in tow. "Ice cream waits for no
one, be they normal or not."
Laughing as well, Daisuke raced to keep up with his new friend. They
hit the doors at nearly the same time, pushing them open to the chime of
overhead bells that matched their happiness.
"Welcome!" one of the counter girls called out, recognizing Daisuke
from previous visits. She smiled and waved, pointing towards the board
above her head once she knew she had his attention. "We just got in a new
flavour, Motomiya-kun. I think you'll like it very much."
"Is that so?"
"It's called 'Death by Strawberries,'" she told him with a grin before
turning to help the customer at the counter.
Shaking his head, Daisuke said with a laugh, "Death by strawberries?
What a way to go!"
Unnoticed, Ken quietly observed Daisuke exuberant expression, storing
away information, locking away deep into his heart the images. I
want…
Please kiss kiss Will anybody kiss me please? Please please
kiss kiss Give me strawberry kisses please.
"Yaa, Daisuke, imagine running into you here!"
Looking up and dreading the worst as he recognised the voice that had
hailed him, Daisuke struggled to fight off the panic that crept its way in
at the initial sight of Yagami Taichi. He gave the older boy a pleading
look, begging silently with his eyes for Taichi to not say anything. If
any of the current Chosen Children had found him with Ken, he'd already be
dead ten times over before he knew what had hit him. He hoped that Taichi
would be more understanding.
Taichi's golden-brown eyes—so much like Daisuke's own—sparkled with
amusement and the new leader of the Chosen Children feared the worst.
Especially when Taichi grinned, his gaze dropping briefly to where Ken's
hand was clutching Daisuke's. Ken himself was half-ducked behind Daisuke,
pressed up against the other boy's back, hoping to avoid being recognised.
However, to Daisuke's relief, Taichi gave him a conspiratorial wink
and, bless his War Greymon-size heart, played dumb. "Saa, Daisuke, who's
your friend?" the older boy asked, blinking his eyes expectantly.
Ken's trembling ceased at that question. Warily he peeked out from
behind Daisuke, still clutching the other boy's hand as if it were a
lifeline. Letting out a pent up sigh, Daisuke flashed Ken a reassuring
grin before glancing back at Taichi. "This is Ichijouji Ken," he said,
hiding a grin as Taichi pretended to look bewildered.
"That name sounds familiar," Taichi murmured, placing a finger against
his chin and tapping his foot. "I know I've heard it from somewhere, I
just can't think of where. Oiii!" He grinned, eyes lighting up. "You're
the kid that's on television all the time, the really smart one! Daisuke
played your soccer team once."
Flushing, Ken said, "Yeah. I have been on the television a couple of
times." He didn't even mention the soccer game; that had been one of the
strangest days in his life, even as the Kaiser. Even thinking about it
now, he wasn't exactly sure what had been going on in his head…or his
heart, for that matter.
"So what are you guys doing here?" Taichi asked, continuing his "dumb"
act.
Daisuke looked at him as if he were a few kilobytes short of a meg.
"Getting ice cream," he stated, arching an eyebrow. "This is the best
place to get ice cream, after all, and it is an ice cream parlour."
Ken snickered softly beside him, biting his lip to keep from bursting into
all-out laughter. Daisuke did have a point—a very valid and
logical point.
Taichi's eyes blinked several times, and then the boy smacked his
forehead with the heel of his hand. "Oh…of course," he muttered. "Guess
I've been using the "ice cream" excuse for other things for too long."
Glancing at Ken in confusion, Daisuke saw the black haired boy
mirroring his expression. What could Taichi possibly be using the ice
cream parlour as an excuse for? Unless…
Daisuke opened his mouth to speak his mind, but was beat to the punch
by Ken. "What else is an ice cream parlour used for?" He was genuinely
curious about what Taichi's answer would be because, as far as he was
concerned, there was no logical answer other than the obvious one.
Just then the door to the shop opened, they tiny bells over it chiming
once again. The noise within slowly died down, and into that silence a
girl all but screamed, "It's Yamato!"
Turning, Daisuke saw that, yes, Ishida Yamato had just come in through
the door. But Yamato was turned around just as the rest of them were,
looking for "Yamato." Turning back around, the blonde boy shrugged his
shoulders with a confused expression that said 'I don't see whoever she's
screaming about. Do you see who she's screaming about?'
The girl's friend poked her on the shoulder and hissed, "Dummy! That's
not Yamato-sama!" Then she sighed, expression wistful. "Though he is
really cute and there is a resemblance, I must admit. But Yamato-sama
would never dress down like that."
"So what are you two doing here?" Yamato asked as he made his way
over, glancing between Daisuke and Ken. He was completely ignoring the
attack on his chosen attire of ripped blue jeans and a faded Laruku
t-shirt.
Daisuke was too busy snickering to reply, so Ken replied for them
both. "We're here to get ice cream," the black haired boy said with a
smile, helping his companion to stay upright.
"I see," Yamato murmured, blinking his eyes as the statement processed
in his mind.
Taichi laughed at his expression, slinging a companionable arm around
his boyfriend's waist. "Yeah, that was about my reaction too," the
brunette chuckled, leaning his head against the taller boy's shoulder.
"Guess we've been using the 'I'm just going to go get ice cream' excuse
for a little too long."
Smiling wryly, Yamato drawled, "Three years isn't that long,
Tai."
Ken's mind boggled as he pondered that. Taichi and Yamato had been
together for three years—as a couple?!
I'm gonna become sunshine And kiss everything in sight You
could be a star in the night Just use your imagination
"You're friend seems a little shocked, Daisuke-kun," Yamato said,
frowning as he looked at Ken. "Is everything all right?"
Sighing as he caught Yamato's question, Ken shook his head. "Why does
everyone keep asking me that? I think I just need to wear a sign that says
'I'm above and beyond perfectly fine!' on both the front and back."
"I think Daisuke has one of those somewhere," Taichi said, his eyes
flashing with a teasing glint.
"That's mean, Tai-sempai!" Daisuke did his best to look wounded, but
ended up failing miserably. He tried to think of a better comeback, but
wasn't able to come up with anything.
However, Yamato was. With an air of complete innocence, he murmured,
"Would that be the one he inherited from you, Taichi?"
Smiling sweetly up at his boyfriend, Taichi said in retaliation,
"Yama-chan, do you want to be cut off for the rest of the month?"
As it was the first of the month, Yamato shook his head in horror.
"That's what I thought." Turning to Ken and Daisuke, he said, "Well,
Yama and I have some stuff to talk about, so I guess we'll see you later.
Jaa!"
After the two older boys had left, Ken shook his head in bemusement.
He'd never realised that the two older Chosen Children were an item. But
then again…
Having a good idea of what Ken was thinking about, Daisuke said
simply, "They keep each other sane."
I'm only holding back the rain So many rain drops so many
pains I want to find my train someday As seasons go past the
station
The two boys ordered their ice cream—Daisuke got his 'Death by
Strawberries,' and Ken, who was feeling adventurous and perhaps a wee bit
sugar suicidal, ordered something by the name of 'Triple Chocolate
Chunk'—and rather than stick around in the ice cream parlour, they headed
for the park that was near the soccer field.
Kya, this sure brings back memories, Daisuke thought as his
gaze wandered over the soccer field, illuminated by the almost full moon
and the lights of the city. He nibbled on one of the strawberry chunks,
glancing at his companion surreptitiously.
Ken was poking at a white chocolate chip balanced precariously on the
top of his ice cream cone, expression rather intense. It was funny, he
thought, seeing the black haired boy like this. Before he'd known that
Ichijouji Ken was the Digimon Kaiser, there had only been one word that
sprang to mind when thinking about the boy: envy.
In many ways he still was envious of Ken—at least, he was envious of
Ken's stunning intelligence and athleticism. But he now knew that that
wasn't all there was to Ken, just as he knew that the Ken beside him was
fundamentally different from the Digimon Kaiser he and his fellow Chosen
Children had fought so long and hard against.
"What are you thinking about?" Ken asked, noticing that his friend was
lost deep in thought. He finally picked the chocolate chip off the top and
popped it into his mouth, letting it melt in the warm recess.
"Lots of things." Daisuke paused to catch a drip of sticky ice cream
with his tongue before continuing. "Thinking about the past and the
present, wondering what the future holds."
Frowning, Ken stared hard at his ice cream. "Those are some weighty
thoughts."
Daisuke laughed, trying to dispel the tension he sensed building.
"Naa, that's probably why my thoughts haven't gone very far. You know me,
attention span of a fruit fly and memory of a rock."
Silence fell between them, tense and uneasy. Daisuke knew that Ken had
fallen into melancholy thoughts once again, but was unsure of how to bring
him out of his depression. He didn't really want to share his thoughts
with Ken—mostly because they had been about the violet-eyed boy, and he
wasn't sure that Ken would understand. Hell, sometimes he wasn't sure if
he understood his thoughts towards his companion.
He envied Ken his ability to be tactful, his ease with speaking to
others. He liked spending time with Ken, because it was the first time
that he felt wanted, needed, in a very long time. He liked being with Ken
because the boy put him at ease and didn't make him feel like he had to be
on guard all the time, didn't make him feel as though he had to read
between the lines his actions and words. There weren't any masks, there
were no barriers, there was no pretending between them—at least, not any
that wasn't easily seen through. And of course, it helped that Ken was
easy on the eyes.
At that thought, smoke-brown eyes widened. Where had that come from?
he wondered. Yes, Ken was quite pretty, but so was Yamato, and Daisuke had
never felt the kind of strange fluttering in the pit of his stomach, had
never felt his heart begin to race when thinking about or looking at
Yamato. However, any time he thought about or looked at Ken, those strange
sensations would visit him, leaving him feeling nervous and apprehensive.
Finishing the last of his ice cream cone, Ken hazarded a look at
Daisuke, eyebrows arching when he saw the heated flush on the boy's dark
cheeks. What is he thinking about? I don't think I've ever seen him
look so embarrassed.
I wonder… Daisuke crunched nervously on the edge of his cone,
his blush growing. I wonder what it's like to be kissed. I'd always
imagined Hikari-chan would be my first kiss, but I know that she doesn't
see me in that light—as much as it pains me to admit. As most young
boys in the thro of their first love, Daisuke had often missed the subtle
clues Hikari had been giving him, letting him know that she wasn't
interested. It hurt—he'd heard that your first love almost always ended in
pain—but it wasn't so bad that he couldn't get past it.
He wondered why he was suddenly thinking about those things, about
first kisses and first loves. And why was it that while out with Ken he
had suddenly been able to admit to himself that he and Hikari were never
meant to be?
Ken smiled softly to himself as he noticed that Daisuke wasn't paying
attention and had wandered off the sidewalk; the auburn haired boy was
currently heading for a direct collision with a tree. Shaking his head, he
licked the remnants of chocolate ice cream from his fingers and then
snagged Daisuke's sleeve. "Naa, dreamer boy, the sidewalk is this way."
Daisuke blinked in surprise at the soft chastisement, blushing as he
realized that he'd nearly become one with a rather large conifer. "Thanks,
Ken."
The black haired boy laughed. Daisuke looked so cute when he blushed.
One of the things he had always admired about Daisuke, had always envied,
was the ease with which Daisuke handled emotions. He was so open with
them, and they seemed so right, displayed on his kind face.
He spotted a bench up ahead, set off the sidewalk under one of the
lamps that lit the little park. "Let's go sit up there. That way you won't
wander into hard, inanimate objects while you're dreaming."
Please kiss kiss Will anybody kiss me please? Please please
kiss kiss Like a strawberry colored dream
"Have you ever heard that there's a fine line between love and hate?"
Daisuke asked softly, looking up to where the moonlight filtered in
through the trees. It was a nice bench, as far as benches went. The wood
was cool to touch, but the solid object beneath him was a welcome comfort
from walking.
"I think so," Ken replied, taking a dare and resting his head against
Daisuke's shoulder. The whole night was beginning to seem almost surreal.
Close proximity with the other boy was causing his heartbeat to speed up,
but he wasn't sure why that was. He wanted—almost needed—to touch
Daisuke, to know that the boy was really there beside him, to know that
the night hadn't been conjured up by his wishful imagination. And that
frightened him at the same time that it thrilled him.
I don't ever remember liking to touch people like this, but
touching Daisuke is nice. He's safe…he doesn't have grand expectations for
me, he doesn't expect me to be anyone other than myself.
"Do you believe that's true? About love and hate, I mean." Daisuke's
tone was wistful, as was the smile on his face.
Ken could smell strawberries, sweet and tangy in the cool night air.
It reminded him of the ice cream that Daisuke had consumed earlier, and he
flushed as his mind brought forth the image of the other boy's tongue
darting out to lap at the pink confection. "I d-don't kn-know," he
murmured, stuttering in his nervousness. "I never r-really th-thought
about it b-before." He chaffed his hands up and down his arms, trying to
ward off the chill of the night.
Daisuke glanced down to where Ken's head rested against his shoulder,
wondering what was causing the boy to blush. "Cold?" he asked, reaching
his arm out without a thought and wrapping it around Ken's thin shoulders.
The blush grew, but Ken didn't try to toss off Daisuke's arm. Instead,
he smiled faintly and said, "Thanks."
They sat in companionable silence for a while, content to merely enjoy
the company of another. The only sounds that broke through the night air
were the calls of owls, the distant sounds of late night city life, and
the quiet breathing of the two boys.
"Why did you ask me that question?" Ken asked suddenly, his brows
drawn together. He'd been turning the question over and over in his mind,
trying to puzzle out why Daisuke had brought it up. Was it possible that
Daisuke was making an allusion to their previous relationship versus the
one they had just begun?
Shifting slightly, Daisuke sighed, closing his eyes. "I don't know. I
guess…sometimes I wonder why things have happened the way they have. I
mean, I don't think that I've done anything to deserve a friend like
Veemon, yet I somehow got chosen to be a Chosen Child and to have him as
my partner. Just like it seems I was the one chosen to give you the
benefit of the doubt, to try and see past the Kaiser's image. I can't help
but wonder why I'm the only one that can see that the Kaiser wasn't you,
why I'm the only one that knows you need to be forgiven so that you can
eventually forgive yourself."
Ken tensed, eyes going wide as he absorbed Daisuke's words. How was it
that this boy could know so much about him, know so much about what he
felt deep inside, when they barely knew each other? And it was
strange that Daisuke was the only one who seemed to notice those things
about him, things that not even he had noticed until they were mentioned.
He wanted to ask so many questions, but the one that tumbled free was,
"Did you ever hate me?"
Daisuke chuckled quietly, eyes opening as he glanced down at Ken's
bowed head. He brought his hand up, almost absently combing his fingers
through soft, black locks of hair. "I wanted to. I mean, when you went
after my friends, when you tormented me with your psychological games,
when you made me beg on my knees… I tried so hard, so many times to hate
you the way the others seemed to. There were even times that I thought I'd
succeeded, but then I'd realize that it wasn't you I hated. I hated your
actions, hated what you were doing, but I couldn't seem to hate
you. I guess, you could say, that I hated the Digimon Kaiser, but
not Ichijouji Ken."
"Why?" Ken asked softly, hugging his arms around his abdomen. Despite
Daisuke's arm around his shoulders, he suddenly felt cold and alone. It
seemed essential, this understanding, but he wasn't sure if he was going
to like the answer. The strawberry scent continued to tumble around his
senses, nearly overwhelming him yet anchoring him in reality.
"I don't know," Daisuke replied equally as soft, sensing that Ken was
withdrawing from him. He wanted to grab the boy by the shoulders and shake
him, to tell him that being alone wasn't the answer. "Maybe it was because
I could understand why… Maybe it was because I knew what it was like to
act one way and feel another. Maybe it was because I uncovered the mask
and realised that there was something more underneath."
"Something more," Ken repeated in a murmur, eyes narrowing as he
thought about that. And maybe there was something more between them,
something that he was only now beginning to realise enough to put into
words. Sitting up, he turned to that he could look Daisuke full in the
eyes. "Daisuke, if there is indeed a thin line between love and hate…"
"Yeah?" Daisuke said, blinking as he waited for the black haired boy
to continue.
Licking his lips and gathering his courage, Ken continued. "If there
truly is a thin line between love and hate, and if you don't hate me, what
do you feel for me? Pity?"
"Never," Daisuke replied almost immediately, staring at Ken
unflinchingly. "I know that you don't want pity, and I know that if our
roles were reversed I wouldn't want it either."
Dropping his gaze, Ken began to worry the hem of his shirt between his
hands. "I need to know, Daisuke," he said thickly. "What I feel for you…
What I think I've always felt for you…"
Daisuke's breath caught, his eyes going wide. Was it possible that Ken
had seen past his surface question to the one that truly lay at the heart
of it? And was it possible that Ken was trying to say that he felt the
same thing? Reaching out a hand, he gently touched Ken's cheek. "I don't
know if I can put into words what I feel," he said sincerely. "I know that
you're special to me in a way that no one else is. And I know that you'll
always be special to me, that no one will ever feel the same to me in my
heart as you do."
Ken looked up, smiling brilliantly at Daisuke. The brunette had said
that he couldn't put it into words, but he had done a remarkable job
anyway. His eyes were hooded as he licked his dry lips and said, "Then I
guess I have just one more question." He was feeling mischievous, and a
bit devious as well. Now that he knew what he wanted to know, now that he
knew just what it was he wanted, he had to make sure that he got it.
Trying hard not to stare at those glistening lips, Daisuke asked
hoarsely, "Oh? And what's that?" His heart was hammering in his chest, and
he could feel a blush rising to his cheeks to rival the one that had
graced Ken's face earlier.
Ken pounced, and in a flurry of limbs and clothing, Daisuke found
himself pinned on the ground, the grass cool beneath him. Ken's eyes were
shining brilliantly in the light, and the predatory smirk on his face was
almost pure Kaiser. He lowered his face until it was mere centimetres away
from Daisuke's. His breath was a hot caress against the boy's face as he
whispered, "Will you kiss me, please?"
Not even realising that he was nodding, Daisuke's hand came up to
catch the nape of Ken's neck, his fingers lacing into the long hair. Their
lips touched the first time softly, hesitantly, almost experimentally.
Ken's lips were soft, yielding against his own deliciously, but it didn't
feel like it was enough. He caught Ken's bottom lip between his teeth
gently, tongue darting to wet the tempting flesh.
It was if that was what Ken had been waiting for. He pressed into the
kiss, returning the favour in kind. He nipped at Daisuke's mouth, tongue
tracing the seam of closed lips, which yielded under his teasing. The
texture of smooth teeth greeted him next, and then Daisuke's mouth was
fully open to him. His tongue darted in, tasting, testing, searching for
and finding Daisuke's own. Tongues met tentatively at first, Ken
continuing to tease Daisuke until the other boy's fingers curled tightly
into Ken's hair and he yanked the boy's face even closer.
Mouth on mouth, giving and taking, tasting promises of things that
already were and things that were to come. "Strawberry kisses," Ken
murmured when the kiss broke, trailing his fingers down Daisuke's face.
"Only because of the strawberry ice cream," Daisuke said with a small
laugh, his face flushed. "If you don't mind, Ken-chan, the ground is
frickin' cold!"
With a laugh, Ken rolled off Daisuke and rose to his feet. He reached
a hand down to Daisuke, helping the boy up. "Wormmon and Mama were the
only ones that ever called me "Ken-chan,"" he said.
Daisuke shook his head, returning to the bench. "Wrong. I'm
calling you Ken-chan now, too." He grinned, holding a hand out to Ken.
Ken didn't need any further encouragement. He all but threw himself
into Daisuke's arms, curling his own around the brunette's neck. He felt
warm and safe, and unalone for the first time since his memories had
become his own once again. Smiling happily, he tilted his head, looking
into Daisuke's eyes. "More strawberry kisses?" he asked, fingers teasing
the back of Daisuke's neck.
"I think we can arrange it," Daisuke murmured as his lips met Ken's
half way.
Please kiss kiss Will anybody kiss me please? Please please
kiss kiss Give me strawberry kisses please
Seconds, minutes, hours later, the two boys simply sat together on the
lonely little bench under the lamplight. "That was my first kiss," Daisuke
murmured, gaze dropping down to his hand. He'd laced his fingers together
with Ken's, and he didn't feel like untangling them anytime soon. This
connectedness, the rapport between them, felt right; it felt like
something he'd unknowingly been looking for his whole life and had just
found.
"It was mine too." Ken smiled, leaning against Daisuke. "Thank you,
Daisuke-kun."
"For what?"
Ken closed his eyes and sighed in contentment. Maybe he wasn't quite
whole yet, but he was well on his way to recovery, and he knew that he
wouldn't have to make his journey alone. "For caring. You're the first in
a long time to care for me, for the real Ken. Wormmon did too, but I
didn't realize that until it was too late."
Daisuke shifted, turning to catch Ken's gaze. "About that, Ken. I
don't know if you realised it or not, but Digimon never die, they just get
reconfigured. I remember Takeru once telling me about a place called
Hajimeru no Machi in the Digitalworld where all digimon are born. Maybe,
when you're feeling better, you can go there and look for Wormmon."
"Do…do you think I should?" Ken's voice sounded soft and childish,
extremely unsure, even to him.
"Why not?" Daisuke gently bumped his shoulder into Ken's, giving the
other boy a grin as he looked up. "Wormmon loved you, man. He loved
you so much that he was willing to die in order to bring the real you
back. Of course you should look for him. He's probably waiting for you in
Hajimeru no Machi, waiting for his Ken-chan to come find him so the two of
you can be together again."
"Is love really that strong?" Ken asked doubtfully.
Daisuke blinked. "For me it is. When I give my heart to something, it
stays there." He smiled, leaning in to kiss Ken on the cheek, earning a
startled look from the other boy.
Touching his cheek, Ken smiled hesitantly in return. "Does this mean
that I have your heart, Daisuke?" he asked shyly.
"Well, a piece of it. You're kind of stuck sharing it with my family
and Veemon."
"I think I can handle that."
There was a silence in which only the sound of the wind through the
trees and the distant cars could be heard. The silence, however, was
interrupted as Daisuke looked at his watch. "Ten o'clock?! Kaachan's gonna
kill me!"
Ken laughed and rose to his feet, dragging Daisuke with him. "Come on,
I'll walk you home."
"Do I get a good night kiss at the door?" Daisuke asked impishly,
feeling in better humour than he had in ages.
"We'll see." Ken smiled mysteriously, watching Daisuke from the corner
of his vision as they began to retrace their steps. You're still a
puzzle to me, Motomiya Daisuke, but I think I'm beginning to unravel you.
And the more of you I discover, the more I'm drawn to you.
Please kiss kiss Will anybody kiss me please? Please! Please
please kiss kiss — Kiss kiss! Like a strawberry colored
dream
|