Xander couldn't cry

Xander couldn't cry.

He'd been sitting in the same chair for hours, thinking about the events of the last few days, and in some dim, abstract way, he marveled that he couldn't cry.  One of the most important people in his life - maybe the person who had affected his life more than anyone - was dead, and his eyes were dry as the desert.

Anya stirred on the bed, and immediately Xander moved to sit next to her.  She winced as she rolled over, squinting as she opened her eyes.

"Xander?"

"I'm here."  He smiled as he reached out a hand and smoothed the hair out of her face.  "How's my girl?"

"I'm okay."  Concern darkened her eyes.  "How are you?"

He shrugged, avoiding her eyes.  "Hey, all I did was hit the Hellbitch with a big old ball."

"And you displayed remarkable timing and accuracy.  I'm very proud of you," she stated firmly.

He smiled slightly and ran his fingers in a soft caress down her cheek.  "Have I thanked you for saving my life?"

"Xander..."

"And have I told you never do that again?  That's a visual I'm not getting out of my head for a while."

"Like I'm going to stand by and watch a wall fall on you!  You are not Wile E Coyote and you could have been smashed flat."

"Better me than you."

 He put one finger to her lips when she started to protest again and reached into his pocket with a tentative smile. He pulled out the small black box and flipped the top open, extending it toward her.

"The world didn't end."

She pushed herself to a sitting position, smiling a trembling, wondering smile.  "No, it didn't."

He took the ring out of the box and picked up her hand, carefully sliding the ring on her finger.  She turned her hand, watching the diamond sparkle, and raised her eyes to beam brightly at Xander.  The smile dipped.

"Xander?"

"I'm sorry."  He shook his head, blinking rapidly and taking several deep breaths. "Anya, I've never been happier.  I'm happy.  Very happy.  I am happiness – "

"Xander." 

She simply opened her arms.  He buried his face against her chest and she wrapped her arms around him, smoothing his hair and murmuring wordless sounds of comfort as he finally felt the tears come.

                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A piercing scream ripped through the night.

Spike started awake and rolled over with a groan. He was lying on the floor near the wall where he must have sunk into a whiskey- and grief-induced stupor. He rose to his feet and made his way to his armchair, collapsing into and putting his hand down next to it to retrieve a bottle of wine he kept stashed there.

Another cry came from outside the crypt. He figured a vampire was having a bit of fun with some stray human who had been stupid enough to come near the cemetery after dark.  A third shrill scream was enough for Spike.  He surged to his feet and stalked over to the door and yanked it open, hearing the vampire laugh as he did.

"Oh, bloody hell."  He still couldn't see them, so he just shouted to the cemetery at large.  "Didn't your mum ever teach you not to play with your food?  Just eat the bitch and let a body get some peace and bloody quiet!"

He was just about to slam the door for emphasis when the victim shrieked again.

"Spike!"

"Dawn?"

He rushed out to find a large vampire standing behind Dawn, holding her pressed against his chest, his hand at her throat, preparing to sink his fangs into her neck. 

"Let her go."  His voice was soft and deceptively calm as he approached them in a slow, predatory glide.

The vamp turned his head towards him.  "Why should I?  The Slayer's dead.  It's a damn free-for-all, man."

"Sorry, mate, but this one's off limits."  Dawn whimpered and Spike felt his vamp face surface and a warning growl rumbled in his throat. "Funny, I never knew there were any hard-of-hearing vampires. I repeat. Let. The girl.  Go."

The other vamp grinned.  "I don't know, she looks pretty tasty."

Spike reached the two and without warning, his hand lashed out and grabbed the other vampire by the throat, squeezing viciously, crushing the windpipe.  Dawn fell to the ground as the vampire released her and tried to wrench Spike's hand away with both hands.  Spike clenched his fist tighter, and the other vampire eyes widened and he tried to speak, only managing a mangled gurgle.

Spike bared his fangs.  "That's better. Now, fortunately for you, I neglected to bring a stake with me.  Dawn, did you happen to come prepared?"

With one arm draped across her wounded stomach, she shook her head and gasped out, "No."

"Well, then this is must be your lucky day, so listen well, mate.  When your throat heals, I want you to spread the word that this girl is not to be touched.  If anyone so much as shows her a scary face, I will hunt you down and make you wish I had a stake with me.  Am I clear?"

The vampire sputtered, staring at him with bulging, frightened eyes and Spike clamped down on his throat again, ramming him against the obelisk once more.

"Am I clear?"

The other vampire nodded frantically and Spike threw him through the air.  He landed with a pained grunt, rolled several feet then scrambled to his feet and ran out of the cemetery.

Spike shook off his vamp face and held one hand out to Dawn, who gratefully took it and rose to her feet, trembling from her close call.  Spike peered into her face.

"Are you all right?"

She shrugged.  "I'm fine."

"Good."   He nodded once before exploding.  "Then do you want to tell me what in bloody blazes you're doing here alone at night?"

Her mouth dropped open.  "I was looking for you!  I - I was worried about you."

"Worried about me?" he asked, taken aback.

"Well...you said you would come to see me. After dark. And it's way after
dark and you never showed, so..."

"Sorry, Little Bit. I've been...busy." At her skeptical look, he shrugged
and began walking towards the entrance to the cemetery. "In any case,
little girls like you should be home tucked into your bed."

"I'm not a little girl," she called to his back.

He responded with a derisive snort.

She hurried to catch up with him, moving into his path and forcing him to a
stop. She looked up at him with intense eyes. "You promised you'd come."

He sighed and reached into his pocket for his cigarettes, hiding behind the
motions of lighting one and taking a drag. He blew the smoke out in a long
slow cloud and spoke as impassively as he could. "Word to the wise, kid.
It doesn't pay to put much faith in a vampire's word."

She stiffened, her face hardening, and nodded. "Guess not."  She did an abrupt about-face and marched towards the entrance of the cemetery.

Spike watched her go, regret and a renewed pain in his eyes, and after a brief internal struggle, he threw the cigarette on the ground, crushed it under his booted foot and followed her out of the cemetery.  She looked over her shoulder, saw him coming and began walking faster.  He lengthened his stride, not really trying to catch her, but not wanting to lose sight of her either.

"Come on, Little Bit.  Wait up."

She started running.

"Bloody hell."

There was no way he was running after some silly girl.  A vampire had his dignity to consider, after all.  She rounded a corner, moving out of his line of vision.  For a fraction of a second, he considered leaving her to her fate.

"Bloody buggering hell," he muttered.

He started running himself and went around the corner just in time to see
her run up the steps to her front door and disappear into the house. He
took the steps in two strides and flung the door open.

And immediately was repelled by an invisible barrier.

"What the hell?" His eyes caught Dawn topping the flight of stairs.

"Dawn!"

"Go away!"

She ran into her bedroom and slammed her door shut.  Spiked rammed himself against the barrier with a snarl of frustration just as Giles walked into the foyer from the living room.

"It would appear that you haven't been invited."

"I bloody well have!  Buffy…"  Realization dawned at the pained look on Giles's face and he closed his eyes, murmuring with a slight shake of his head, "And just like that…"

He opened his eyes.  "I have to talk to Dawn."

"You might have thought of that sooner.  I would hazard a guess that she doesn't want to talk to you."

"She's upset…" His voice trailed off as Giles loomed in the doorway, fury in his face.

"Yes!  You're bloody right, she's upset!  That girl's lost everything that had any meaning for her, and for some bizarre reason she's turned to you for comfort, for some slight measure of stability and you can't be bothered."

"I told you I was busy, " Spike said through clenched teeth.

"Busy, were you?  Busy doing what?  By the smell of you, I'd say you were celebrating the death of the Slayer.  Lord knows you wanted it long enough, you've plotted against her so many times I've lost track.  How do we know this wasn't another elaborate plot, that you and Glory didn't – "

A threatening growl issued from Spike's throat.  "That's enough, old man."

"Is it?" 

After one tense moment, the fury faded from Giles's face, pain and resignation sliding into place.

"Yes, I suppose it is."

 He sighed and removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose.  "I understand that you care for Dawn, in your own way, but she is extremely fragile at the moment and she needs to be surrounded by people she can rely on, ones who have her best interests at heart."

"And that would be you, would it, Watcher?  Seems to me you were the one pushing the Slayer to kill her sister."

Giles looked at the vampire with sad, weary eyes.  "For the sake of the world, Spike. The fate of the world has to be more important than that of one girl."

"Sod the bloody world.  Buffy…" His voice cracked the tiniest bit and he swallowed before trying again.  "Buffy and that girl up there are the only things in this world that mean anything to me.  Buffy knew it, which is why she asked me to protect her."

"And a bang-up job you did there, wasn't it?"

Spike opened his mouth to respond, but a harsh voice rang out first.

"Stop it."

They looked towards the stairs to find Dawn standing there, watching them, anger clear in her eyes.

"Just stop it."  She descended the steps.  "If you two want to blame someone, then blame me, because Buffy would still be alive if it weren't for me.  Me.  No one else."

"Dawn - "

"Niblet - "

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't bother.  You know it's true."

Giles put one hand on her shoulder.  "Dawn, now is not the time for placing blame."

She shrugged his hand off and looked in challenge from him to Spike.  "Oh?  That's not what it sounded like a minute ago."

The two grown men stood practically squirming before the 14-year-old.  She sighed.

"Giles, can I talk to Spike for a minute?  Alone?"

He raised his eyebrows a bit, but didn't protest.  "Yes.  Of course.  I'll go…make some tea."  With one cautionary glance at Spike, he walked into the kitchen.

Arms still crossed, Dawn stared at Spike, the corners of her mouth a little tight.  She walked into the living room and her voice floated back to him.

"Come in here."

For the second time in as many days, Spike stepped across the threshold, and he marveled at the pleasure the simple act gave him.  What was it about these Summers women that got him so twisted up inside? 

Dawn's back was to him as he walked into the living room, but he saw her rub her side.

"You should be resting, Little Bit."

She whirled to face him.  "I don't want to rest.  Every time I close my eyes, I keep seeing..."  She stared at him with bleak eyes and gritted her teeth together.  "I don't want to rest."

God, he knew about those images, and they weren't something he wanted to dwell on in front of the Niblet.  "Right.  Well, then, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Why didn't you come?"

He stiffened. "I was bus - "

"The real reason."

He stared hard at her, but her gaze was unwavering and after a moment he rolled his eyes and sighed. "I was a bit under the weather, I guess you could say."

"You mean you got drunk."

"Or you could say that," he acknowledged. 

She considered him before nodding decisively.  "Then I forgive you."

"Do you now?"  He dropped into an armchair, the picture of indifference, doing his best to ignore the relief those words brought him.

"Yes.  Just don't do it again."

"Not to worry, Niblet." Seeing the satisfaction on her face, he added, "I won't make the mistake of making a promise I can't keep again."

"Oh."  Her face fell. "But, you will come and see me sometimes, won't you? I mean - I know...you only came around because of Buffy before, but..."

"I would think you'd want to put all this business with vampires and other beasties behind you."

"You're not a beast."

"I'm not?"  He looked mildly offended.

"Well - not anymore than Angel is."  At the sheer horror that crossed Spike's face, she rushed to add, "Or...or Anya!  She used to be a demon and now she's all one of the gang."

"Somebody please just stake me now."  He rose to his feet and came to loom over Dawn, who raised her chin and refused to back down.  "If I'm no better than the Big Broody Soulboy or a human ex-demon who's afraid of bunnies, for God's sake, then I'd just as soon be put out of my misery."

"You know what I mean.  You care.  You cared about Buffy.  I think you care…about me."

He tried one more time, leaning forward and injecting his voice with a touch of menace.  "I'm an evil, wicked vampire.  Can't trust me."

She wasn't buying it.  "Buffy trusted you."

He straightened, a pained twist to his mouth. "You might want to learn from your sister's mistake."

She lowered her arms, curling her hands into fists at her sides. "It wasn't a mistake."

He shrugged and turned away without responding.

"Spike?"

"What?" he said, wearily rubbing the back of his neck.

"I've been so scared."  Though she tried, she couldn't keep a slight catch from her voice.

He faced her again, concern and sympathy replacing the pain in his eyes.  "It's all over now, Niblet.  Nothing more to be frightened of."

"How do we know that?  I'm still the Key.  What if someone else comes along who wants to open something else?"   

"Don't think that's going to happen.  One Key per portal, so to speak."

"But what if someone thinks they can use me again?  What if someone comes after me?  Buffy's gone, and I'm all alone and I'll never feel safe again, and – "  She took a sharp breath.  "I'm just so scared."

"No one's going to hurt you.  Giles and the Scoobies will look out for you, you know that."

"I don't want them, I want you."

Okay, even an evil vampire could only resist so much. He walked towards her and in a slow, tentative movement, he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek, his cool fingers absorbing the warmth in her face.

"I'll be here if you need me."  His thumb gently smoothed a tear from the corner of her eye.  "Okay?"

She nodded, and as he watched, her lips began to tremble.  Without warning, she stepped forward, sliding her hands inside his coat and around his waist and she clutched at him, pressing her face against him, her body shaking.  Looking down at her in alarm, he stiffened, his hands hovering in the air above her.

"I miss my mom," she whispered hoarsely.  She buried her face into the curve of his shoulder.  "And Buffy."

"I know, Little Bit."  His arms awkwardly circled her, and he held her, swallowing the knot that was forming in his own throat.

"It's not fair."

"No, it's not."

He rested his cheek against the top of her head, closing his eyes when he felt warm tears begin to seep through his shirt.  He pulled her closer as she cried, a quiet, aching outpouring of grief.  He heard a step behind him, and he tensed, knowing Giles must be watching them, waiting for the Watcher to pull the girl away from him, but without saying a word, the other man turned and walked away.

And Spike, one of the most vicious vampires ever known, cradled the Slayer's sister in his arms, patting her hair, assuring her everything would be all right.  He silently repeated his vow - to himself, to Buffy - that nothing and no one would ever hurt this girl again.