Duo Maxwell and the Radio
By Felflowne aka Espion
Censor - PG for a kiss and yaoiness, otherwise its squeaky clean!
Disclaimer
As you know I don't own Gundam Wing
It's the most irritating of things.
You see I must write
A huge pile of sh*te
And you get an author that sings
*bows* thankyou, arigato, merci and danke
Onwards to fic land!!
Duo Maxwell and the Radio
Will Duo and the gang ever be freed from the evil clutches of Radio 3?
Wufei was bored. He was sat in the living room, channel hopping. He had been sat in the dining room, trying to eat a baked Alaska and be in the same room as Quatre and Trowa, but it couldn't be done.
To be fair, thought Wufei, watching them make out and counting the number of times Quatre got poked in the eye by Trowa's bang was kinda fun.
He suddenly spotted something, but had gone past it. He backed up, staring. A man with green hair and a large nose was speaking.
'Tired of being the only sane member of your household?'
You don't know the half of it thought Wufei miserably.
'Well, we can't help, so sod off to Sky One, baka!'
Roger thought Wufei, complying.
*
Quatre sat up suddenly and pushed Trowa away.
'Sorry hun, you know I love you, but, Geez, I'm like suffering here...' gasped Quatre, rubbing at his eyes, which were watering mercilessly, having suffered repeat attacks by a hairdo that defied Quantum Physics. Trowa looked sad, and stood up.
'I'm sorry Quatre,' he mumbled, 'I'm really sorry, Geez, you don't know how sorry I am...'
He turned to leave but Quatre poked him as he turned, and gave him a smile.
'Don't look so down Trowa, you're breaking my space heart here, come on, it's not the end of the Earthsphere. Come here...'
Trowa smiled and sat back down. Quatre threw his arms around his neck and whispered...
'You don't know how sad it makes me to see you sad, how very sad, how very very sad, how...'
Trowa smiled at his partner.
'You're a sly one.' he said, moving closer, ' cos you know full well that when you start rambling on like that, that I'll have to kiss you to shut you up.'
Quatre smiled his irresistible chibi smile.
'Suits me...'
*
Heero was sat at his laptop. Duo was sat across the room seeing if he could braid his hair back over the top of his head to create a realistic looking elephant trunk. Heero's eyes followed Duo as he stood up and walked to the window, letting his hair fall back across his shoulders, unbraided. Heero hastily grabbed a packet of tissues from out of Spandex space and pretended to blow his nose, as he felt a gigantic nosebleed coming on. Duo turned and looked at him. Heero pretended that Duo wasn't even in the room as always, and continued tapping at his laptop. Duo suddenly spoke.
'Heero, is that thing even on?'
'Of course, you foolish baka!' snarled Heero, quietly switching on the laptop. He'd acted this way towards Duo for as long as he'd known him, secretly delighting in his company when he was around, but acting as though if Duo died tomorrow, then the world would be a better place. No, today.
Heero couldn't stop himself from looking up as Duo began to re-braid his hair. Suddenly a wave of imagination broke though his normally well controlled brain, and he saw himself braiding Duo's hair. Duo smiled and turned to face him.
I understand said the Imaginary Duo, I understand, don't worry Hee-chan, I'll wait, I can wait...
Heero shook himself and hoped that Duo hadn't noticed. But Duo had gone, and so had the lead to his laptop.
'DUO! KISAMA!'
*
Wufei felt that even if he threw himself off of the empire state building none of those kisamas would care. Not that it bothered him. He'd rather have no-one caring about him than those bakas.
Still....
He flicked the channels. There were an awful lots of channels, he realised, did they get them with the special terrorist's package from ONDigital? Hmmmmm.....
***
Trowa woke up and went to stretch, but then stopped as he felt Quatre's weight across him. The little blonde stirred and opened his eyes.
'What time is it?' He asked, laying his head back down. Trowa pulled out the arm with his watch on it. .
'Four o'clock,' he answered, putting his arm on the side of the chair. Quatre groaned and slid off onto the floor.
'Time to eat.' he said, and walked into the kitchen. Trowa followed him.
*
Duo trotted into the lounge with the laptop lead in hand. He had plans for it. He walked over to Wufei, who was still sat in his chair, glaring at the pathetic weakling of a TV. He contemplated teasing him, but then realised how much he enjoyed being alive and changed his mind.
Duo walked nonchalantly into the laundry room and pushed aside the large basket. Behind it was a small opening in the wall. It led to the loft. Duo crawled into it and pulled the basket back into place.
*
Heero sat and glared at the blank screen of his laptop, as if that would make it work. He was stupid to have let his guard down around Duo, what with his latest habit of stealing strange items from around the house. The only thing that these items had in common was...well...nothing, actually. Heero allowed himself a small smile as the phrase - Shinigami, God of Death, and....Magpies - came into his head.
He was pretty sure that Duo hadn't built anything out of the things he'd taken, because what could you build with a pair of socks, some headphones, a bottle of dye (Wufei's), a packet of coffee and the lead to a laptop?
Heero put the laptop onto the floor and thought about Duo. He didn't like to admit it to himself, but he'd been doing it an awful lot lately. He wondered if Duo actually liked him, or whether that image he'd seen was the result of his long hours piloting the ZERO system, which, Dr. J had told him, had the same effect on your brain as taking it out and frying it in Extra Virgin Olive Oil. He frowned. For some reason, it had to be Extra Virgin...but how did they figure that out? Heero shrugged and began to slide into depression. So Duo hated him really and truly.
So what?
I don't care
I don't need anyone
You're lying
Huh?
This is the inner Heero speaking
What?
You need someone Heero
No I don't, sod off!
Don't try to deny it Heero...
You're just a figment of....errr....the ZERO system's imagination!
Oh boy...just listen to me you stupid baka! If you don't say anything to him, ever, then you'll regret it.
You can't be me, I have no imagination....or feelings...or emotions.
Up yours then, I'm off to speak to someone who may just listen...
*
Heero stared blankly out of the window. He had just had a conversation, no, an argument, with himself, and he'd lost. No, he was losing it. He wondered if it was possible to remove that goddamn system from Wing Zero, and replace it with...err...a radio? He fell back onto his bed and groaned. He had to have a mission. Without a mission to pursue he was so...to put it all into one word, bored.
*
Duo walked out of the laundry room and closed the door quietly. He hung his head, he'd failed. In the loft, there was a radio. Duo was very interested in it. Unfortunately, upon turning it on, he'd discovered that it had been tuned to Radio 3, and somebody very evil had then removed the tuner.
This was the reason that he'd been...err...acquiring, yes, acquiring random objects from around the house. He'd stuffed Trowa's socks into it, but this only had the effect of muffling the cursèd noise. This had, Duo reflected, been an improvement, and he'd thought that he was definitely making headway into his project. Wufei's dye had been a disaster. It had had no effect on the station whatsoever, and had made a big mess. The coffee had stuck to the dye and made an even bigger mess, only this time it was mocha flavoured. (The mess, that is.)
Duo had been to afraid to touch the radio with the laptop cable, partly because he was afraid of getting an electric shock, and also because he'd been feeling guilty about taking it, and this annoyed him because he didn't understand why. He hadn't felt guilty about taking anything else.
Why do I feel guilty about stealing something?
I've done it thousands of times before
What's up with me?
It's because it's Heero's
Who the hell are you?
I'm the inner Heero. That stupid baka won't listen to me, so I've come to talk to you.
About what?
'About what?! Where the hell are you!' Duo spun around, but there was no one there. He ran into the lounge.
Calm down Duo
'Calm down? CALM DOWN!!' Duo began to frantically search the room.
I'm here to tell you things that Heero never would...
'Daaaaaargh! I don't think I want to know pal!' yelped Duo.
But you do, don't you Duo?
Dammit, of course I do, I wanna know if Heero loves me as much as I love him, is that so wrong?
He stopped searching the room and looked up. Heero was stood in the doorway, looking at him quizzically.
'Did you lose something Duo?' asked Heero, walking over to this fish tank. He watched as Duo's Siamese Fighting Fish that he'd put in there last month devoured the last of Quatre's guppies and burped.
'Umm, Heero?' said Duo, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor, cross legged, 'do you ever have, you know, problems, with, like, voices, ermm, in your head?'
Heero turned and glared at Duo, but instead of flinching and turning away, Duo's bright eyes bored into his.
'Seriously?'
Come on Heero; tell me, so that I know I'm not going nuts...
Want me to give him a shock?
NO, no leave him alone, leave him alone...
Good Morning Heero! This is your inner self speaking!
Heero groaned and banged his head against the wall.
'Sod off.'
This was barely audible.
'Heero, can you hear him too?' gulped Duo.
'Who? What do you mean too?' Heero looked at Duo in shocked surprise.
Duo talked really fast.
'IwasjustsathereandallofasuddentherewasthisvoiceanditsaidthatthereasonIfeltbadaboutstealingthelaptopcable
wasbecauseitwasyoursand...eeep!' Duo squeaked as Heero took a step towards him.
'You felt bad about taking the cable?' Heero's voice was slightly softer, despite the fact that his expression hadn't changed.
Duo didn't answer at once, but then said very quietly, 'Really bad, bad, bad, bad. Duo's bad, very bad'
Tell him Heero
'Huh? Tell me what? Tell me what Heero?' Duo took his braid into his hand and began to chew on it gently.
'I can't,' whispered Heero, sitting down heavily in a nearby chair and putting his face in his hands.
You've upset him kisama! thought Duo ferociously
So do something about it, Duo
What can I do?
Come on Duo, think!
Fine, I understand. I'll help him on one condition.
Condition? I'm listening...
You go away and leave my poor Hee-chan alone
Duo fought back tears as he looked at Heero, whose shoulders were drooping.
Ha! You do care about him! My work here is done!
There was a small hissing noise as the inner Heero evaporated. Duo trotted over to where Heero was sat in his chair. He put his hand on Heero's shoulder. Heero jumped.
'Sorry Heero..' said Duo, as he climbed onto Heero's lap, 'I'm so sorry..' Heero looked at him in surprise. Duo put his other hand on Heero's head and tangled his fingers in Heero's hair.
'Sorry....for what?' asked Heero. He was having trouble remembering how to talk with Duo curled up around him.
'For making you wait....such a long time..' Duo turned to look into Heero's face. There were tears in Heero's eyes.
'Don't cry Hee-chan..' muttered Duo, and kissed Heero gently, 'it's all right now...'
*
Trowa walked into the lounge and stopped. He then walked backwards into the kitchen again, almost knocking Quatre over. Quatre wasn't annoyed, but said quietly, 'Is it Heero and Duo?'
Trowa nodded.
'Well then I guess we'll eat in the Dining room,' chuckled Quatre, and walked out of the other door of the kitchen.
*
Heero woke up. It was dark. His heart sank. Just another dream. He fought back tears as he got up out of his bed and padded over to the window. He opened it and let the cold air pour into the room. He shuddered and closed the window again and climbed back into his bed, which by now would be cold.
But it wasn't.
As Heero laid down again another voice said, ' Geez Heero, what is it with you and comfort? Not on speaking terms?'
Heero smiled and went back to sleep.
***
THE END
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER
EXCEPT WUFEI, WHO WAS STILL BORED, AND NEVER FOUND HIS HAIR DYE
THE EVIL RADIO 3 RADIO OF DOOM WAS FOUND TO HAVE BEEN PLANTED BY THE EVIL NOIN
BUT IT WASN'T REALLY PLANTED, AND SHE'S NOT REALLY EVIL. IT FELL OUT OF HER ARIES....
THE EVIL INNER HEERO WAS ACTUALLY WING HEERO, PRATICING HER MATCHMAKING.
AS YOU KNOW, SHE WAS SUCCESSFUL, AND LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER
HAVING ACHEIVING HER LIFETIME'S AMBITION.