Voice with no name
by Belladonna
I am alone.
I can no longer hear the voices of
the others and in my mind there is such an emptiness just like it is deep
within me. I have never felt so lonely like I feel now, for I have never been
alone before. There had always been someone with me, always a voice that guided
me and led me, but now all this is gone. I am alone and nobody else will hear
my voice again.
It is a loneliness, like I have
never felt before and the pain that comes with is unbearable. I do not want
these emotions, they are irrelevant but I cannot banish them from my thoughts
or my mind nonetheless. For as hard and as far as I push them away from me, so
strong and fast they return back to me. The pain I feel is the sorrow and the
mourning at the things that had been taken from me, at all what I have been
once and all that I have lost. Even if it had been taken from me and I had
never wanted it to be taken away, so it is taken now and all lost for me,
forever.
I was part of a unity, part of a
higher unity one can possibly imagine and even if I had been only one of many,
I was defined through my task. I had a task and a reason, and my voice, probably
only one voice in the sea of many voices, it had weight. It was acknowledged,
assessed and heard. But now all this has changed. For just like all the other
numerous voices I am no longer able to hear now, mine now will be hidden for
the others, unheard and unnoticed.
My thoughts were only few among the
many, but they were heard. Now I am only one voice among many, but without
meaning for the whole, only one voice that will die away among all the others,
unheard.
I am alone now, my voice without
meaning, without a name.
Voice with no name
By: Belladonna