"I hate these damn dresses!" I thought to myself. I couldn't say it out loud because of the nuns that ran the orphanage that I lived in. I had no friends to complain to…at least not anymore. I had one once…but he ran. The memory stuck out, waking up that morning and going downstairs. Sitting on the last step under the left banister, he never showed up. The nuns later that day said that he had left. Months later I saw him…or at least I thought I did.
It was on our way to mass. In the weeks after I had been able to talk to him. He told me who he was, he might have been the same person who had dark curly hair and was quiet, but his name had changed. It was no longer Conner it was Mush. Instead of the stiff, dark gray clothes that the boys wore at the orphanage he wore brown pants and a white shirt with a brown vest. It was nice to see him; I had been with out a person to confide in for two and a half months. When we saw each other and had a decent conversation. Instead of the fleeting glances we usually had. I still smiled when I thought of that memory. He told me where he lived, and if I ever needed help, just go there and ask for him.
That is what I was planning to do. I had stolen some boy's clothes. I knew it was wrong, and I often prayed that God would forgive me. I couldn't stay at the orphanage anymore. I was leaving for a good cause. There were so many little kids coming, if I left, the food would go to them. Even if it wasn't much, it helped.
Slipping out of the window, I jumped down to the next level of the fire escape. I was on the third floor; hopefully I wouldn't wake anyone. I slipped down the small ladder and ran down the street. The cool evening bit through my dress making me shiver. Darting into a dark ally, I didn't think of what was in it, I just pulled on the ratty pants and pulled off the dress and slipped the thicker shirt. I folded up the dress and made it look like a pile of rags.
I headed to the place where I usually saw Conner sell. Curling up, I spent the remainder of the cold night sleeping on the streets. The next morning I was awakened with the sun on my face and my hair in my mouth. I shook my head and looked at it, it was way past my shoulders. I looked in the pockets. I came up with string. How is that going to help me? I took up my hair and tried to put it up. Sloppy and messy it was but finally the light brown hair was out of my face. I pulled the cap that was part of the boy's outfit, my outfit, and covered up my hair, it might show a little, but it suited my needs.
Around 7:30 I saw Conner whistling. I stood up and waited for him to recognize me. I steeped toward him and he looked at me. It seemed like he was appraising me. Then I could see it click in his head. "Lindsay, is that you?" his eyes smiled, although his mouth was neither smiling nor frowning.
"Sorry kid, I'm the First Lady," I said in my sarcastic tone that I usually had around him. Even if I was poor, I did have a slight education and knew most things children my age should know.
"Funny, why are you in boy's clothes?"
"Well, if since I left the orphanage, they would be looking for a girl. If I'm dressed up as a boy, they can't find me."
"What are you gonna do? I ain't having my friend sleep on the streets."
"Yeah, I'm sure I can find work. After all this is New York, and I ain't being no whore." You could tell religious people brought me up. I was sheltered. Even though I hated to admit it, I needed someone. "Hey do you have a pocket knife or something?" I asked.
"Yeah why?" he produced one. I took it and let down my mass of hair. I tried to cut my hair. It was choppy, but I didn't care, it was hair, it would grow back. I tied what was left of it and put it up in my hat. I handed back the knife.
"Thanks."
"If you keep your hat on, you look like a boy."
"And you are telling me this why?"
"You can become a Newsie. We could call you Whispers." I looked at him.
"And how am I going to keep my mouth shut? Newsies relay on their voice."
"Okay, problem here… Um just stand there and look pitiful…that's what Jack did with Les…and it worked."
"Governor attacked in Central Park!" quickly five people bought from him.
"What page?" I asked as I grabbed a pape from him.
"Six." I quickly turned to the page.
"Governor attacked by birds…" I trailed off. "I thought we were both taught not to lie."
"I ain't lying…only improving the truth…" he smiled at me. I still pouted…not really liking it.
"Now you stand next to me and look lost and afraid…many people should buy from us." I quickly bowed me head and tried to look pitiful and scrawny. "Governor attacked in Central Park!" he screamed again and a group of people looked at him. "Ma'am could you buy a pape? Only a penny a pape…it's for me little brother here…he don't talk." Quickly five people bought from him…I guess not all newsies relay on their voice.
(Three months later)
Mush and I was averaging 50 papes a day, 60 on good days. I had saved up five dollars. I had grown tired of waking up every morning, not talking to anyone except Mush. And only then it was when no one was around. On the first day all the boys looked at me strangely, trying to get me to talk. I had stayed in the corner of everything and observed people.
Recently one of the newsies had reminded me of someone I knew long ago. The mannerisms, the smile, the laugh everything. I never said anything, never got really close to anyone, afraid that someone would find out. You wonder whom I had to hide from…every one… the bulls, Kloppman, the other newsies.
I was walking down the street, not really going anywhere, just wandering. I guess I didn't notice two guys behind me. All off a sudden I was grabbed from behind. Three stood two scabbers…Oscar and Morris.
"Hehe what do we have here? A nice green newsie who ain't never got soaked…what da ya say we do the honors?"
"Fine with me…" One of then took a step toward me. He grabbed my shirt and lifted me up, in the process knocking off my hat and exposing my short hair, well it was short compared to a normal girl's hair.
"Look what we have here! A goil…what could we do with her?" The one that was not holding me asked the one that was.
"Hmm… I don't know." He let go of me and tossed me into a corner. I got to my knees and tried to scramble out of there.
"I don't think so." One of them said and kicked me, I screamed. I didn't mean to, it just happened. Every time one of them did hit or touch me, I screamed, hoping someone would come. Never mind it would be a newsie who knew me, let them find out I was a girl, I just wanted to get away.
"Never fear! Brooklyn's here!" I looked up and saw Spot Colon, the most respected and feared newsie in the whole of New York. I didn't realize I had wandered into Brooklyn, man I was going to get it.
The two guys ran and Spot came over to me. "You okay?" he asked I refused to look at him. He took my chin in his hands with surprising tenderness and looked into my eyes. Something sparked; he recognized me…oh crap…I'm dead.
"Hey you'se Whispers…"
"No really, I hadn't noticed." I said as I pushed his hands away and I picked up my hat, stuffing my hair into it.
"Cowboy's going to be plenty mad!" he said as he caught up to me.
"And I would care why?" I couldn't believe, 13 year old me was talking down 16-year-old Spot Colon, leader of the Brooklyn newsies.
"Because…he would!" We continued to talk more and more, and finally I ended up begging him not to tell him, damn he was stubborn!
"Well since I just proved to you that I can't protect myself, will you show me how to use a sling shot?"
"You, use a sling shot? But youse goil!"
"A goil that's a newsie that doesn't know how to fight." I pointed out.
(The next week)
"Okay I suck at this…" I said as I shot my last pebble. I was aiming for a bottle that couldn't be more than 10 ft away and out of thirty tries I had hit only five times…I was hopeless.
"No you don't you just need practice. Whispers, I gotta go, you should too, it's a long way back to the Lodge house." I bid him good bye and started my long trek home. Once reaching the ally way near the Lodge house I hid my sling shot in my own little hiding space that included my dress and some of my money. My dream was to go to where my only family wanted to go, out west.
I ran into the Lodging House, no one else was there, or so what I thought. I walked up to the bunkroom and heard a noise on the fire escape. Looking out there I saw Jack. I climbed out and sat opposite him, he noticed me and flashed his smile, my heart warmed. Oh no...I was not falling for him. I looked at my feelings a little closer…they weren't ones of love…but of pride, knowing he is the leader of the Manhattan Newsies, and will protect anyone of us with his life. I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I bet you're wondering why I'm out here huh?" He asked, he knew I wouldn't say anything, so he only stayed on yes or no questions, I nodded. "I'm wondering what I will do with my life…I really can't stay here all my life. I'm 17, I have to live my life…you're lucky, 10, so many people buy from you." I couldn't believe he felt like this….and he thought I was 10? I'm not that short am I? " My dream is to go out west. Always wanted to, since I learned how to read and bought my first book. My little sister used to tease me all the time because of it. I knew she wanted to follow me though, she looked up to me, when our mudder died, and our fadder left, well I couldn't let he grow up on the streets I ran, and I hope she didn't try to follow, she was only six years old. I hope she's safe where I left her…" He trailed off and looked at me. "Why am I telling you this?" I shrugged. I didn't really care, I was curious about whom was out on the fire escape; I wasn't looking for someone's life story.
"Anyway, we should go in the Boys might start to wonder," I grinned at that…Mush might wonder the most of all… But hey what should they wonder about, all I was, was a little scrawny 10 year old that showed up one day.
Months went by and I gained his trust and in turn gained mine. Soon he started to confide into me more and more. It became normal for me to finish selling, meet Spot, practice and then run back to the Lodge House and listen to Jack's confessions. I was getting used to this life, the life of a newsie, of a boy.
I was walking down the street with Jack at my side; I sold with him… well I actually made myself look pitiful and people bought from him. It might have not been the best way to sell, but we sold many a pape that way. Splitting the money we headed off to Tibby's and ordered my usual, by pointing of course and listened to the jabber of all the others.
"I swear can't you lend me a buck or so? I have a hot tip!" Racetrack told Duchy that at one of the other tables, I hid my smirk.
"Race shut up will ya! No ones gonna lend you a buck!" Jack yelled over the din of the restaurant.
"Aww come on Jacky-boy, he can't be that much in debt," Spot remarked as he sat down next to me.
"Wanna bet?" Jack said.
"Nope, don't want to lose the bet, you all know I want to be a cowboy." He winked. I smiled; I knew more of his secrets, plans and past than Spot knew…I think. Our food came and I ate as Spot and Jack talked about odds and ends, how the strike went, would Davey be coming around later since it was Friday and so forth.
The next day, Jack wasn't there. I started to worry, but then figured that he was at the Jacobs or something like that, he has his own life after all. Davey was his best friend, along with Spot. I waited on my bunk for what seemed like hours, when it was only fifteen minutes or so. I was so bored I made it, I think it was the only neat one in the bunkroom. Just then Racetrack and Swifty swaggered in obviously please with today's sales. I didn't think they were that good, the must have overly hawed them.
"Hey Whispers, where's Cowboy?" Race asked. I shrugged and gestured to say that I hadn't seen him. Race thought about that for a sec and then went over to Jack's Bunk and lifted the mattress; the 'secret' stash of money that Jack thought no one knew about wasn't there. That's when Race's face started to show worry lines. Going over to Swifty he told him that he had to go to Brooklyn and tell Spot what was happening. They both walked out, forgetting about me. I felt loved then, not even saying good-bye. Well who cares? I don't.
I scrabbled off of my bed and ran down the stairs and outside. I knew where Jack was, well I had a suspicion and I also knew what he was doing. Running into the alley and grabbed the only two links to my life before the life of a newsie, my old worn dress and a simple necklace with a cross on it. I slipped on the dress and took off my cap, running my hands through my hair making sure it wasn't too knotted. Hiding my stuff again I slipped out of the alley and made my way to Grand Central Station.
I ran through the doors hoping the train to Santa Fe hadn't left yet. Running to the board that had the times listed I scanned the list for Santa Fe, I had 10 minutes. I hoped I could find him, if I couldn't, I shouldn't think about that. I looked around the main part of the building and walked in the general direction of the track that the train bound for Santa Fe would be coming and leaving on. I walked over and sat down; looking at me he flashed his infamous grin and started conversation with me.
"So where are you going?" he asked making polite conversation.
"Out west, where my family is." I lied through my teeth, the only link to my family is my older brother, but right now, with my life I could give a flying rat's ass where he was.
"Why didn't you travel with them before, you look young, not more than 12.It's dangerous for a goil to travel alone no matter what age."
"I was working, my older brother and I that is, we had to pay off the debts, I'm not sure where he is… why are you leaving New York? I love it here."
"I'm 17, even though I love all my friends, I have no future here, I just left today, no sense in them telling me I can't leave, they don't need me any more."
"How do you know? If they are telling you, you can't leave, then don't they need you?"
"One probably does. He was my confidant. I guess he was mute or something or really shy because I could talk to him and he wouldn't say anything."
"Well I'm guessing that little boy needs you, and you should go back, for all you know you could be the only positive influence in his life. My train will be coming soon so I have to leave if you see my brother, Frankie, he looks a little like you, tell him Linds has left for Santa Fe…" I walked by him and waved hoping I could change his mind. Ducking behind a pillar I looked back. Jack looked my way with a look of suspicion on his face but dismissed it as a coincidence. Jack got up and walked back to the entrance to the station. I grinned my work was done.
Running down the streets hoping to beat Jack to the Lodging house. Darting into the alley I changed, threw on my cap and ran up the steps just as Jack was walking up the street. As I walked in, I signed my name and Spot met me. I gestured as if to say, Jack is following me, he'll be here in a few. As if on cue the Cowboy himself walked in.
I stepped from the crowd and into a corner. He would get to me in due time, it's not like he hasn't spoken to me all day. Creeping upstairs, I hoped to find solitude. Sitting on the fire escape I looked into the sunset. It was warm, unusual for an early spring day dusk; I relished it. Someone climbed out onto the fire escape and sat down. I looked at the person; it was Jack what a surprise…
"How ya doing?" I shrugged.
"I'm sure you noticed what happened, or someone told you…" I looked at him, I may not talk, but I can think.
"Okay bad question. I'm sorry for not saying good bye, but a little angel knocked some sense into me." I smiled, knowing I was that little angel.
"I doubt I'll be leaving for a long time, unless of course it is not my decision." I nodded and went inside to watch Race, Mush and Kid Blink play poker.
"You wanna play?" Mush asked, I shook my head, I would lose all my money if I wasn't careful.
"Mush, don't even try, you all know he's mute and can't think." Kid Blink told him as if I was sitting only a few feet from him. I gave Blink a dirty look and sat down next to Mush. They showed me how to play. I won the first round.
"Beginner's luck…" Racetrack said, and he was right. In the next three rounds I lost all the money I had won in the first round. I left the game and wandered over to my bunk, hoping to fall asleep before lights out.
A week later Jack and I were selling on around Central Park when a few bulls came up to the two of us as if they were going to buy a pape. I hid behind Jack, not sure why they were there.
"Good afternoon Officers, would you like to buy a newspaper?" he said with all sincerity.
"No in fact you are under the arrest for destruction of property. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say could and will be used against you in the court of law." Jack let the two officers hand cuff him and told me to go back to the lodge house, I had no more right to be there. I walked out of Central Park and wandered yet again into Brooklyn. What is it with Brooklyn and me? You would think I was born and bread in that part of the city.
"Hey Whispers, you looking for Spot our fearless leader?" a newsie said sarcastically. I knew he would never say it in front of Spot, in a second he would be laying on the ground with a shiner starting and Spot walking away to attend to more important business, most likely to push a few guys into the harbor. Or thinking on how he could out smart Jack. I nodded and he led me to the dock where all the Brooklyn Newsies hung out after selling their papes. When I first started coming over here, I often blushed when I came, but now I had gotten used to it and didn't even think about it anymore.
"Hey ya Whispers!" We spit shaked, I still thought it was disgusting, but what can you say…it's a tradition.
"Cowboy, arrested, Central Park." I whispered, not wanting the others to hear. It would be a hoot to let them figure out why a female voice was coming from one of there own male Newsies. He nodded and called another newsie over and sent him over to wherever the closest Manhattan newsie was selling. Most of the Brooklyn newsies aren't that welcomed in Manhattan, all except for Spot that is.
Somehow, someone found out when they were going to have the trail in a week. I was worried, I couldn't sell at all at that time, and I lost a lot of money at that time. Waiting for the week to end, waiting for Friday to come around made me a nervous wreck. Early Friday morning I woke up and slipped out of the bunkroom. It was now or never…they had to find out, Jack couldn't go back to the Refuge, even if Synder had left. Grabbing the cross necklaces I pulled it on and hoped for the best. Walking around I got a roll from the three nuns and walked around, praying to God in my head that every thing would turn out okay.
Slipping into the courtroom I stood near Mush and Spot, the two people in the throng of Manhattan newsies. About five minutes later Jack walked in. I pushed my way into the front of the crowd, trying to catch his attention. Mush held me back. "You have no business going up front…you'se a goil and can't speak remember?" I pulled out of his grip and shook my head, as if to say: I know what I have to do. And pushed my way threw all the boys. Jack turned to all of us and winked, I smiled. He really was like a big brother to me, even if we had no relation.
"The charge against the defendant is destruction of property." The clerk said.
"How do you plead…Francis Sullivan?" The judge asked looking at a paper in front of him to find his name.
"Not guilty." Jack stated.
"Do you have any witnesses?" Jack shook his head. I was the only witness, what could Whispers do? Not much, but what could Lindsay do? A lot. "Excuse me!" I yelled…every one looked at me. Guess how surprised they were to hear a girl's voice come out of little male newsie that is mute.
"Who are you?" The judge asked.
"I'm known as Whispers, but my real name is Lindsay Sullivan." I stated. Jack looked at me funny, but ignored it, I might loose my nerve if I didn't. "I was there when the property was being destroyed. Jack… Francis and I were walking around, our newspapers already sold. We came upon two boys fighting. One of them was a newsie and the other is the son of the person that complained. Francis tried to split the two up who where tearing at the lawn and everything. Finally Francis pulled the newsie away." I gave him the brief summery of the events.
"And what is your relationship to the defendant?" The judge stared down at my, trying to make me loose my nerve.
"Sister, your honor." I bowed my head and stepped back into the crowd of stunned boys.
"Francis Sullivan I find you…" I ran out the back door, not wanting to see everyone seeing the tears spill. I ran to the Lodging house, signed my name and ran up to the roof. Everyone would look for me on the fire escape…but I wanted to be alone.
I thought back to my childhood…it was hazy…the last memory that I have of any of my family is my brother dragging me to the orphanage and telling me to wait there, while he left in the middle of the night. You could say I was bitter about that…that is why it was so hard for me to trust someone.
I heard a noise and turned around to see Davie, the Talking Mouth, come up. I glared at him…I wanted to be alone.
"I know how you feel," I raised my eyebrow.
"Sure you know how I feel, your only family left you on the doorstep. Then when you come to a new place where no one knows your past…you find him. Only he doesn't let you know…instead of his real name, he hides it behind Jack Kelly. You really know how I feel." I sneered and turned away from him.
"Okay maybe not like that…but he lied to me too. I trusted him and he lied. But he did it for a good reason…just talk to him."
"Fine I will. Then I'll go jump off the Brooklyn Bridge…" I stood up and went into the bunkroom. Everyone that was talking quieted down.
"What are you looking at…I'm leaving soon, don't worry… after I talk to…Jack," I spit the name out like it was something bitter. "I'm jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge." All the boys looked at me as I climbed out of the window.
"Listen Race I don't want to talk about it." Jack mumbled.
"That's the first time I've been mistaken for him." I said softly.
"Oh it's you Whispers…the name sits better with you now." He told me as I sat as far away from him as I could on the small platform.
"Like I care…Francis."
"I deserved that…but you weren't to honest either." He told me inching closer to me.
"Thank you ever so much for acting like a big brother you are…but I think I'll go on my date with the Brooklyn Bridge…We're going to have a splashing good time." I smirked at him and went down the steps to the street.
"Lindsay!" He called, I turned around.
"Wait up."
I didn't though and kept running. "Lindsay Anna Sullivan, Wait up!" For some reason unknown to me I couldn't move…or maybe I wouldn't that time. He caught up with me and we started to walk together.
" It's been a long time since I had to call you by your full name." I smiled at the memory and went on, "Who knew?" he asked softly.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Who knew that you were a girl, my sister?" he repeated with more clarity.
" Spot and Mush…but Spot didn't know my last name or real name. Mush, Conner…I think forgot my last name."
"Oh…"
"Now are you going to follow me there? 'cause I want to be alone…" I turned on my heel and ran off. He didn't follow me this time.
I looked over the waters that the Brooklyn Bridge passed over. Why did my life had to change so drastically? I was so busy with my thoughts I didn't hear anyone come up behind me.
"A little birdie told me you are thinking of jumping." Spot said, making me jump.
"Well that little birdie can crash into a wall for all I care." I tuned away and looked over the darkened river. The gaslights didn't do much for the harbor. Couldn't anyone understand I wanted to be alone? Why doesn't the Governor come and talk to me?
"Spot Colon…go away…I don't wanna talk." I turned away from him and started to walk towards Manhattan. I guess it will be a night of sleeping on a cold bench with no one bit the animals around you to keep me company.
Spot just stood in surprise as I walked away, thinking about what I said. I guess no one recently told him of, well that's good for him, he was getting to big for his britches.
As I walked into Central Park I sat down at the nearest bench, my feet were killing me. I had no clue how long the walk is. The quietness over took me. Finally a place were I could think. What could I do now…? My hopes were that I would have enough money to leave and go to where my brother is, well I didn't need to spend money or go on a train. He was right under my nose the whole time… Why was this happening to me? Maybe I should go jump into a river and give the guys a good headline in a few days, that seems to be the only thing that I am useful for.
Just then I heard a twig snap, I turned around but it was to dark to see. I guess it was just an animal. Turning around I looked at the fountain I could barely see in the darkness. Just then a hand went over my mouth and turned my head so mine was facing a shadowy outline of Jack face. I narrowed my eyes, I couldn't speak or scream but he knew what I was feeling and thinking with that look.
"Stop being hard to deal with…if need be, me and the boys will carry you all the way back to the house. Now are you going to come?" I nodded and he lifted his hand.
"Why don't you wash your hands once in awhile…it would be a lot better." I told him, wiping my mouth; he just looked down on me.
Once we were up in the bunkroom I went to my bunk and turned away from everyone. I came to the Lodging house…I never say I would cooperate. All the boys, well the ones that I knew well, circled my bed. It didn't help that I was a bottom bunk and in the corner. So to get out, I would have to go through the three people that meant the world to me. Jack was at the foot and then on his right (my left) Spot then Mush.
"Look I want out, I'm just going to take my saved up money and leave. I don't want my brother and I did perfectly fine without a best friend." I got up as best I could and tried to get off my bed.
"You're not going anywhere. We want you here. Jack wanted to tell ya something." With that Jack grabbed my arm and dragged me out on to the fire escape.
"This seems familiar…"I remarked as we sat down.
"Yeah well…this seems familiar to me too." He sighed. "We want you her. You're my sister, I want you to stay where I can…protect you." He finally said.
"Why, I can't do anything. And protect me from what?"
"Oh can you. You sold with me and Mush…and it seemed like we sold more with you than without you. And Spot told me about the Oscar and Morris incident."
"Yeah, but you still sell a lot…" my resolve was weakening, I didn't even think about how Spot told about that..
"Isn't the fact that we like you and want you to stay doing anything to your heart?" He asked softly.
"Yes it is…it's breaking it." I felt a tear slip out, but I didn't bother to wipe it away like I would usually do. I looked back on myself, I had changed. I wasn't a foul-mouthed tomboy anymore who couldn't bother with doing anything ladylike. Now I wasn't afraid of being who I am.
I felt a pair of arms circle my thin shoulders. I didn't care who was holding me…I just wanted to be myself for once. A girl, one that in this day, does need protecting. Most girls my age are at home or if they are lucky, at school…not selling newspapers. Well I don't mind being unique…I've always been. First the tomboy, then friends with an older boy, again a tomboy, next a mute newsie, finally the girl…Jack "Cowboy" Kelly's sister.
I noticed the tears had stopped, but the arms had not left. I found myself incredibly tired and I pushed myself out of the person's arms. When I looked at him, I wasn't surprised to see Jack, my brother. Before I climbed into the bunk room I turned to him, "Not guilty or guilty?" I asked,
"Not guilty." He smiled and I gave him a similar one back. I went to my bunk and looked at everyone. They were all wide-awake. I guess they hadn't been running all over New York City or not sleeping for the past week.
"You're all crazy…" I mumbled as I got into bed.
"Like brother like sister." Race commented to his two buddies, Mush and Blink. They nodded in agreement.
I would love to thank my beta-reader…Clink…if she hadn't stepped up to the plate…well this fic, wouldn't be this fic. I would like to thank a few people who got me into Newsies…first off…my chorus teacher who had us all watch this movie. Needlessly to say, I enjoyed it. My dad…who put up with me singing Seize the Day whenever I was around him and he was the one who bought the movie (ebay) and the soundtrack (amazon.com). My friends…Liz…who is another aspiring newsie… And thank you to you…without you reading my fic (and hopefully reviewing) I wouldn't be an author.
Now this box down here is sad…could you make it happy by typing in it and submitting a review…thanks!
(PS....if you would like...could you say if you want a second chapter/sequel...thanks!)
It was on our way to mass. In the weeks after I had been able to talk to him. He told me who he was, he might have been the same person who had dark curly hair and was quiet, but his name had changed. It was no longer Conner it was Mush. Instead of the stiff, dark gray clothes that the boys wore at the orphanage he wore brown pants and a white shirt with a brown vest. It was nice to see him; I had been with out a person to confide in for two and a half months. When we saw each other and had a decent conversation. Instead of the fleeting glances we usually had. I still smiled when I thought of that memory. He told me where he lived, and if I ever needed help, just go there and ask for him.
That is what I was planning to do. I had stolen some boy's clothes. I knew it was wrong, and I often prayed that God would forgive me. I couldn't stay at the orphanage anymore. I was leaving for a good cause. There were so many little kids coming, if I left, the food would go to them. Even if it wasn't much, it helped.
Slipping out of the window, I jumped down to the next level of the fire escape. I was on the third floor; hopefully I wouldn't wake anyone. I slipped down the small ladder and ran down the street. The cool evening bit through my dress making me shiver. Darting into a dark ally, I didn't think of what was in it, I just pulled on the ratty pants and pulled off the dress and slipped the thicker shirt. I folded up the dress and made it look like a pile of rags.
I headed to the place where I usually saw Conner sell. Curling up, I spent the remainder of the cold night sleeping on the streets. The next morning I was awakened with the sun on my face and my hair in my mouth. I shook my head and looked at it, it was way past my shoulders. I looked in the pockets. I came up with string. How is that going to help me? I took up my hair and tried to put it up. Sloppy and messy it was but finally the light brown hair was out of my face. I pulled the cap that was part of the boy's outfit, my outfit, and covered up my hair, it might show a little, but it suited my needs.
Around 7:30 I saw Conner whistling. I stood up and waited for him to recognize me. I steeped toward him and he looked at me. It seemed like he was appraising me. Then I could see it click in his head. "Lindsay, is that you?" his eyes smiled, although his mouth was neither smiling nor frowning.
"Sorry kid, I'm the First Lady," I said in my sarcastic tone that I usually had around him. Even if I was poor, I did have a slight education and knew most things children my age should know.
"Funny, why are you in boy's clothes?"
"Well, if since I left the orphanage, they would be looking for a girl. If I'm dressed up as a boy, they can't find me."
"What are you gonna do? I ain't having my friend sleep on the streets."
"Yeah, I'm sure I can find work. After all this is New York, and I ain't being no whore." You could tell religious people brought me up. I was sheltered. Even though I hated to admit it, I needed someone. "Hey do you have a pocket knife or something?" I asked.
"Yeah why?" he produced one. I took it and let down my mass of hair. I tried to cut my hair. It was choppy, but I didn't care, it was hair, it would grow back. I tied what was left of it and put it up in my hat. I handed back the knife.
"Thanks."
"If you keep your hat on, you look like a boy."
"And you are telling me this why?"
"You can become a Newsie. We could call you Whispers." I looked at him.
"And how am I going to keep my mouth shut? Newsies relay on their voice."
"Okay, problem here… Um just stand there and look pitiful…that's what Jack did with Les…and it worked."
"Governor attacked in Central Park!" quickly five people bought from him.
"What page?" I asked as I grabbed a pape from him.
"Six." I quickly turned to the page.
"Governor attacked by birds…" I trailed off. "I thought we were both taught not to lie."
"I ain't lying…only improving the truth…" he smiled at me. I still pouted…not really liking it.
"Now you stand next to me and look lost and afraid…many people should buy from us." I quickly bowed me head and tried to look pitiful and scrawny. "Governor attacked in Central Park!" he screamed again and a group of people looked at him. "Ma'am could you buy a pape? Only a penny a pape…it's for me little brother here…he don't talk." Quickly five people bought from him…I guess not all newsies relay on their voice.
(Three months later)
Mush and I was averaging 50 papes a day, 60 on good days. I had saved up five dollars. I had grown tired of waking up every morning, not talking to anyone except Mush. And only then it was when no one was around. On the first day all the boys looked at me strangely, trying to get me to talk. I had stayed in the corner of everything and observed people.
Recently one of the newsies had reminded me of someone I knew long ago. The mannerisms, the smile, the laugh everything. I never said anything, never got really close to anyone, afraid that someone would find out. You wonder whom I had to hide from…every one… the bulls, Kloppman, the other newsies.
I was walking down the street, not really going anywhere, just wandering. I guess I didn't notice two guys behind me. All off a sudden I was grabbed from behind. Three stood two scabbers…Oscar and Morris.
"Hehe what do we have here? A nice green newsie who ain't never got soaked…what da ya say we do the honors?"
"Fine with me…" One of then took a step toward me. He grabbed my shirt and lifted me up, in the process knocking off my hat and exposing my short hair, well it was short compared to a normal girl's hair.
"Look what we have here! A goil…what could we do with her?" The one that was not holding me asked the one that was.
"Hmm… I don't know." He let go of me and tossed me into a corner. I got to my knees and tried to scramble out of there.
"I don't think so." One of them said and kicked me, I screamed. I didn't mean to, it just happened. Every time one of them did hit or touch me, I screamed, hoping someone would come. Never mind it would be a newsie who knew me, let them find out I was a girl, I just wanted to get away.
"Never fear! Brooklyn's here!" I looked up and saw Spot Colon, the most respected and feared newsie in the whole of New York. I didn't realize I had wandered into Brooklyn, man I was going to get it.
The two guys ran and Spot came over to me. "You okay?" he asked I refused to look at him. He took my chin in his hands with surprising tenderness and looked into my eyes. Something sparked; he recognized me…oh crap…I'm dead.
"Hey you'se Whispers…"
"No really, I hadn't noticed." I said as I pushed his hands away and I picked up my hat, stuffing my hair into it.
"Cowboy's going to be plenty mad!" he said as he caught up to me.
"And I would care why?" I couldn't believe, 13 year old me was talking down 16-year-old Spot Colon, leader of the Brooklyn newsies.
"Because…he would!" We continued to talk more and more, and finally I ended up begging him not to tell him, damn he was stubborn!
"Well since I just proved to you that I can't protect myself, will you show me how to use a sling shot?"
"You, use a sling shot? But youse goil!"
"A goil that's a newsie that doesn't know how to fight." I pointed out.
(The next week)
"Okay I suck at this…" I said as I shot my last pebble. I was aiming for a bottle that couldn't be more than 10 ft away and out of thirty tries I had hit only five times…I was hopeless.
"No you don't you just need practice. Whispers, I gotta go, you should too, it's a long way back to the Lodge house." I bid him good bye and started my long trek home. Once reaching the ally way near the Lodge house I hid my sling shot in my own little hiding space that included my dress and some of my money. My dream was to go to where my only family wanted to go, out west.
I ran into the Lodging House, no one else was there, or so what I thought. I walked up to the bunkroom and heard a noise on the fire escape. Looking out there I saw Jack. I climbed out and sat opposite him, he noticed me and flashed his smile, my heart warmed. Oh no...I was not falling for him. I looked at my feelings a little closer…they weren't ones of love…but of pride, knowing he is the leader of the Manhattan Newsies, and will protect anyone of us with his life. I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I bet you're wondering why I'm out here huh?" He asked, he knew I wouldn't say anything, so he only stayed on yes or no questions, I nodded. "I'm wondering what I will do with my life…I really can't stay here all my life. I'm 17, I have to live my life…you're lucky, 10, so many people buy from you." I couldn't believe he felt like this….and he thought I was 10? I'm not that short am I? " My dream is to go out west. Always wanted to, since I learned how to read and bought my first book. My little sister used to tease me all the time because of it. I knew she wanted to follow me though, she looked up to me, when our mudder died, and our fadder left, well I couldn't let he grow up on the streets I ran, and I hope she didn't try to follow, she was only six years old. I hope she's safe where I left her…" He trailed off and looked at me. "Why am I telling you this?" I shrugged. I didn't really care, I was curious about whom was out on the fire escape; I wasn't looking for someone's life story.
"Anyway, we should go in the Boys might start to wonder," I grinned at that…Mush might wonder the most of all… But hey what should they wonder about, all I was, was a little scrawny 10 year old that showed up one day.
Months went by and I gained his trust and in turn gained mine. Soon he started to confide into me more and more. It became normal for me to finish selling, meet Spot, practice and then run back to the Lodge House and listen to Jack's confessions. I was getting used to this life, the life of a newsie, of a boy.
I was walking down the street with Jack at my side; I sold with him… well I actually made myself look pitiful and people bought from him. It might have not been the best way to sell, but we sold many a pape that way. Splitting the money we headed off to Tibby's and ordered my usual, by pointing of course and listened to the jabber of all the others.
"I swear can't you lend me a buck or so? I have a hot tip!" Racetrack told Duchy that at one of the other tables, I hid my smirk.
"Race shut up will ya! No ones gonna lend you a buck!" Jack yelled over the din of the restaurant.
"Aww come on Jacky-boy, he can't be that much in debt," Spot remarked as he sat down next to me.
"Wanna bet?" Jack said.
"Nope, don't want to lose the bet, you all know I want to be a cowboy." He winked. I smiled; I knew more of his secrets, plans and past than Spot knew…I think. Our food came and I ate as Spot and Jack talked about odds and ends, how the strike went, would Davey be coming around later since it was Friday and so forth.
The next day, Jack wasn't there. I started to worry, but then figured that he was at the Jacobs or something like that, he has his own life after all. Davey was his best friend, along with Spot. I waited on my bunk for what seemed like hours, when it was only fifteen minutes or so. I was so bored I made it, I think it was the only neat one in the bunkroom. Just then Racetrack and Swifty swaggered in obviously please with today's sales. I didn't think they were that good, the must have overly hawed them.
"Hey Whispers, where's Cowboy?" Race asked. I shrugged and gestured to say that I hadn't seen him. Race thought about that for a sec and then went over to Jack's Bunk and lifted the mattress; the 'secret' stash of money that Jack thought no one knew about wasn't there. That's when Race's face started to show worry lines. Going over to Swifty he told him that he had to go to Brooklyn and tell Spot what was happening. They both walked out, forgetting about me. I felt loved then, not even saying good-bye. Well who cares? I don't.
I scrabbled off of my bed and ran down the stairs and outside. I knew where Jack was, well I had a suspicion and I also knew what he was doing. Running into the alley and grabbed the only two links to my life before the life of a newsie, my old worn dress and a simple necklace with a cross on it. I slipped on the dress and took off my cap, running my hands through my hair making sure it wasn't too knotted. Hiding my stuff again I slipped out of the alley and made my way to Grand Central Station.
I ran through the doors hoping the train to Santa Fe hadn't left yet. Running to the board that had the times listed I scanned the list for Santa Fe, I had 10 minutes. I hoped I could find him, if I couldn't, I shouldn't think about that. I looked around the main part of the building and walked in the general direction of the track that the train bound for Santa Fe would be coming and leaving on. I walked over and sat down; looking at me he flashed his infamous grin and started conversation with me.
"So where are you going?" he asked making polite conversation.
"Out west, where my family is." I lied through my teeth, the only link to my family is my older brother, but right now, with my life I could give a flying rat's ass where he was.
"Why didn't you travel with them before, you look young, not more than 12.It's dangerous for a goil to travel alone no matter what age."
"I was working, my older brother and I that is, we had to pay off the debts, I'm not sure where he is… why are you leaving New York? I love it here."
"I'm 17, even though I love all my friends, I have no future here, I just left today, no sense in them telling me I can't leave, they don't need me any more."
"How do you know? If they are telling you, you can't leave, then don't they need you?"
"One probably does. He was my confidant. I guess he was mute or something or really shy because I could talk to him and he wouldn't say anything."
"Well I'm guessing that little boy needs you, and you should go back, for all you know you could be the only positive influence in his life. My train will be coming soon so I have to leave if you see my brother, Frankie, he looks a little like you, tell him Linds has left for Santa Fe…" I walked by him and waved hoping I could change his mind. Ducking behind a pillar I looked back. Jack looked my way with a look of suspicion on his face but dismissed it as a coincidence. Jack got up and walked back to the entrance to the station. I grinned my work was done.
Running down the streets hoping to beat Jack to the Lodging house. Darting into the alley I changed, threw on my cap and ran up the steps just as Jack was walking up the street. As I walked in, I signed my name and Spot met me. I gestured as if to say, Jack is following me, he'll be here in a few. As if on cue the Cowboy himself walked in.
I stepped from the crowd and into a corner. He would get to me in due time, it's not like he hasn't spoken to me all day. Creeping upstairs, I hoped to find solitude. Sitting on the fire escape I looked into the sunset. It was warm, unusual for an early spring day dusk; I relished it. Someone climbed out onto the fire escape and sat down. I looked at the person; it was Jack what a surprise…
"How ya doing?" I shrugged.
"I'm sure you noticed what happened, or someone told you…" I looked at him, I may not talk, but I can think.
"Okay bad question. I'm sorry for not saying good bye, but a little angel knocked some sense into me." I smiled, knowing I was that little angel.
"I doubt I'll be leaving for a long time, unless of course it is not my decision." I nodded and went inside to watch Race, Mush and Kid Blink play poker.
"You wanna play?" Mush asked, I shook my head, I would lose all my money if I wasn't careful.
"Mush, don't even try, you all know he's mute and can't think." Kid Blink told him as if I was sitting only a few feet from him. I gave Blink a dirty look and sat down next to Mush. They showed me how to play. I won the first round.
"Beginner's luck…" Racetrack said, and he was right. In the next three rounds I lost all the money I had won in the first round. I left the game and wandered over to my bunk, hoping to fall asleep before lights out.
A week later Jack and I were selling on around Central Park when a few bulls came up to the two of us as if they were going to buy a pape. I hid behind Jack, not sure why they were there.
"Good afternoon Officers, would you like to buy a newspaper?" he said with all sincerity.
"No in fact you are under the arrest for destruction of property. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say could and will be used against you in the court of law." Jack let the two officers hand cuff him and told me to go back to the lodge house, I had no more right to be there. I walked out of Central Park and wandered yet again into Brooklyn. What is it with Brooklyn and me? You would think I was born and bread in that part of the city.
"Hey Whispers, you looking for Spot our fearless leader?" a newsie said sarcastically. I knew he would never say it in front of Spot, in a second he would be laying on the ground with a shiner starting and Spot walking away to attend to more important business, most likely to push a few guys into the harbor. Or thinking on how he could out smart Jack. I nodded and he led me to the dock where all the Brooklyn Newsies hung out after selling their papes. When I first started coming over here, I often blushed when I came, but now I had gotten used to it and didn't even think about it anymore.
"Hey ya Whispers!" We spit shaked, I still thought it was disgusting, but what can you say…it's a tradition.
"Cowboy, arrested, Central Park." I whispered, not wanting the others to hear. It would be a hoot to let them figure out why a female voice was coming from one of there own male Newsies. He nodded and called another newsie over and sent him over to wherever the closest Manhattan newsie was selling. Most of the Brooklyn newsies aren't that welcomed in Manhattan, all except for Spot that is.
Somehow, someone found out when they were going to have the trail in a week. I was worried, I couldn't sell at all at that time, and I lost a lot of money at that time. Waiting for the week to end, waiting for Friday to come around made me a nervous wreck. Early Friday morning I woke up and slipped out of the bunkroom. It was now or never…they had to find out, Jack couldn't go back to the Refuge, even if Synder had left. Grabbing the cross necklaces I pulled it on and hoped for the best. Walking around I got a roll from the three nuns and walked around, praying to God in my head that every thing would turn out okay.
Slipping into the courtroom I stood near Mush and Spot, the two people in the throng of Manhattan newsies. About five minutes later Jack walked in. I pushed my way into the front of the crowd, trying to catch his attention. Mush held me back. "You have no business going up front…you'se a goil and can't speak remember?" I pulled out of his grip and shook my head, as if to say: I know what I have to do. And pushed my way threw all the boys. Jack turned to all of us and winked, I smiled. He really was like a big brother to me, even if we had no relation.
"The charge against the defendant is destruction of property." The clerk said.
"How do you plead…Francis Sullivan?" The judge asked looking at a paper in front of him to find his name.
"Not guilty." Jack stated.
"Do you have any witnesses?" Jack shook his head. I was the only witness, what could Whispers do? Not much, but what could Lindsay do? A lot. "Excuse me!" I yelled…every one looked at me. Guess how surprised they were to hear a girl's voice come out of little male newsie that is mute.
"Who are you?" The judge asked.
"I'm known as Whispers, but my real name is Lindsay Sullivan." I stated. Jack looked at me funny, but ignored it, I might loose my nerve if I didn't. "I was there when the property was being destroyed. Jack… Francis and I were walking around, our newspapers already sold. We came upon two boys fighting. One of them was a newsie and the other is the son of the person that complained. Francis tried to split the two up who where tearing at the lawn and everything. Finally Francis pulled the newsie away." I gave him the brief summery of the events.
"And what is your relationship to the defendant?" The judge stared down at my, trying to make me loose my nerve.
"Sister, your honor." I bowed my head and stepped back into the crowd of stunned boys.
"Francis Sullivan I find you…" I ran out the back door, not wanting to see everyone seeing the tears spill. I ran to the Lodging house, signed my name and ran up to the roof. Everyone would look for me on the fire escape…but I wanted to be alone.
I thought back to my childhood…it was hazy…the last memory that I have of any of my family is my brother dragging me to the orphanage and telling me to wait there, while he left in the middle of the night. You could say I was bitter about that…that is why it was so hard for me to trust someone.
I heard a noise and turned around to see Davie, the Talking Mouth, come up. I glared at him…I wanted to be alone.
"I know how you feel," I raised my eyebrow.
"Sure you know how I feel, your only family left you on the doorstep. Then when you come to a new place where no one knows your past…you find him. Only he doesn't let you know…instead of his real name, he hides it behind Jack Kelly. You really know how I feel." I sneered and turned away from him.
"Okay maybe not like that…but he lied to me too. I trusted him and he lied. But he did it for a good reason…just talk to him."
"Fine I will. Then I'll go jump off the Brooklyn Bridge…" I stood up and went into the bunkroom. Everyone that was talking quieted down.
"What are you looking at…I'm leaving soon, don't worry… after I talk to…Jack," I spit the name out like it was something bitter. "I'm jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge." All the boys looked at me as I climbed out of the window.
"Listen Race I don't want to talk about it." Jack mumbled.
"That's the first time I've been mistaken for him." I said softly.
"Oh it's you Whispers…the name sits better with you now." He told me as I sat as far away from him as I could on the small platform.
"Like I care…Francis."
"I deserved that…but you weren't to honest either." He told me inching closer to me.
"Thank you ever so much for acting like a big brother you are…but I think I'll go on my date with the Brooklyn Bridge…We're going to have a splashing good time." I smirked at him and went down the steps to the street.
"Lindsay!" He called, I turned around.
"Wait up."
I didn't though and kept running. "Lindsay Anna Sullivan, Wait up!" For some reason unknown to me I couldn't move…or maybe I wouldn't that time. He caught up with me and we started to walk together.
" It's been a long time since I had to call you by your full name." I smiled at the memory and went on, "Who knew?" he asked softly.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Who knew that you were a girl, my sister?" he repeated with more clarity.
" Spot and Mush…but Spot didn't know my last name or real name. Mush, Conner…I think forgot my last name."
"Oh…"
"Now are you going to follow me there? 'cause I want to be alone…" I turned on my heel and ran off. He didn't follow me this time.
I looked over the waters that the Brooklyn Bridge passed over. Why did my life had to change so drastically? I was so busy with my thoughts I didn't hear anyone come up behind me.
"A little birdie told me you are thinking of jumping." Spot said, making me jump.
"Well that little birdie can crash into a wall for all I care." I tuned away and looked over the darkened river. The gaslights didn't do much for the harbor. Couldn't anyone understand I wanted to be alone? Why doesn't the Governor come and talk to me?
"Spot Colon…go away…I don't wanna talk." I turned away from him and started to walk towards Manhattan. I guess it will be a night of sleeping on a cold bench with no one bit the animals around you to keep me company.
Spot just stood in surprise as I walked away, thinking about what I said. I guess no one recently told him of, well that's good for him, he was getting to big for his britches.
As I walked into Central Park I sat down at the nearest bench, my feet were killing me. I had no clue how long the walk is. The quietness over took me. Finally a place were I could think. What could I do now…? My hopes were that I would have enough money to leave and go to where my brother is, well I didn't need to spend money or go on a train. He was right under my nose the whole time… Why was this happening to me? Maybe I should go jump into a river and give the guys a good headline in a few days, that seems to be the only thing that I am useful for.
Just then I heard a twig snap, I turned around but it was to dark to see. I guess it was just an animal. Turning around I looked at the fountain I could barely see in the darkness. Just then a hand went over my mouth and turned my head so mine was facing a shadowy outline of Jack face. I narrowed my eyes, I couldn't speak or scream but he knew what I was feeling and thinking with that look.
"Stop being hard to deal with…if need be, me and the boys will carry you all the way back to the house. Now are you going to come?" I nodded and he lifted his hand.
"Why don't you wash your hands once in awhile…it would be a lot better." I told him, wiping my mouth; he just looked down on me.
Once we were up in the bunkroom I went to my bunk and turned away from everyone. I came to the Lodging house…I never say I would cooperate. All the boys, well the ones that I knew well, circled my bed. It didn't help that I was a bottom bunk and in the corner. So to get out, I would have to go through the three people that meant the world to me. Jack was at the foot and then on his right (my left) Spot then Mush.
"Look I want out, I'm just going to take my saved up money and leave. I don't want my brother and I did perfectly fine without a best friend." I got up as best I could and tried to get off my bed.
"You're not going anywhere. We want you here. Jack wanted to tell ya something." With that Jack grabbed my arm and dragged me out on to the fire escape.
"This seems familiar…"I remarked as we sat down.
"Yeah well…this seems familiar to me too." He sighed. "We want you her. You're my sister, I want you to stay where I can…protect you." He finally said.
"Why, I can't do anything. And protect me from what?"
"Oh can you. You sold with me and Mush…and it seemed like we sold more with you than without you. And Spot told me about the Oscar and Morris incident."
"Yeah, but you still sell a lot…" my resolve was weakening, I didn't even think about how Spot told about that..
"Isn't the fact that we like you and want you to stay doing anything to your heart?" He asked softly.
"Yes it is…it's breaking it." I felt a tear slip out, but I didn't bother to wipe it away like I would usually do. I looked back on myself, I had changed. I wasn't a foul-mouthed tomboy anymore who couldn't bother with doing anything ladylike. Now I wasn't afraid of being who I am.
I felt a pair of arms circle my thin shoulders. I didn't care who was holding me…I just wanted to be myself for once. A girl, one that in this day, does need protecting. Most girls my age are at home or if they are lucky, at school…not selling newspapers. Well I don't mind being unique…I've always been. First the tomboy, then friends with an older boy, again a tomboy, next a mute newsie, finally the girl…Jack "Cowboy" Kelly's sister.
I noticed the tears had stopped, but the arms had not left. I found myself incredibly tired and I pushed myself out of the person's arms. When I looked at him, I wasn't surprised to see Jack, my brother. Before I climbed into the bunk room I turned to him, "Not guilty or guilty?" I asked,
"Not guilty." He smiled and I gave him a similar one back. I went to my bunk and looked at everyone. They were all wide-awake. I guess they hadn't been running all over New York City or not sleeping for the past week.
"You're all crazy…" I mumbled as I got into bed.
"Like brother like sister." Race commented to his two buddies, Mush and Blink. They nodded in agreement.
I would love to thank my beta-reader…Clink…if she hadn't stepped up to the plate…well this fic, wouldn't be this fic. I would like to thank a few people who got me into Newsies…first off…my chorus teacher who had us all watch this movie. Needlessly to say, I enjoyed it. My dad…who put up with me singing Seize the Day whenever I was around him and he was the one who bought the movie (ebay) and the soundtrack (amazon.com). My friends…Liz…who is another aspiring newsie… And thank you to you…without you reading my fic (and hopefully reviewing) I wouldn't be an author.
Now this box down here is sad…could you make it happy by typing in it and submitting a review…thanks!
(PS....if you would like...could you say if you want a second chapter/sequel...thanks!)