Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, Rite-Aid, Nads, or etc. This was not meant to offend their creators or their lawyers. This was inspired by our misadventures in hair removal gel. Please humor me and laugh.
*
One fine day in June, Relena was fed up with her hairy, hairy body. She felt that her gross, disgusting, inch-thick eyebrows were frightening Heero. This was a routine emotion for her, but Fate decreed that she turn on the television and see a certain infomercial.
"Watch as we remove the hair from this man's furry chest!" a woman's voice came out as the picture on the television cleared.
The man's chest was all that was visible of him. Someone's hand applied some green gel to one side of his chest, and then padded a cloth strip onto the gel. The same hand ripped the cloth strip off, revealing a clean, shiny pectoral muscle.
"Oooh! That's just what I need!" the dishwater blonde exclaimed, pressing the power button.
She picked up her bright pink purse and ran outside to her pink limo.
"Pargan, drive me to the convenience store!" she yelled as she hopped in the back seat.
"Yes, Miss Relena," the old man without any visible eyes droned.
He sped off towards the nearest twenty-four hour store, making several speeding violations on the way. However, the cops, knowing all about the psychotic teenage girl and her senile butler, did not pull them over.
Roughly fifteen minutes later, Pargan parked the pink limo in the parking lot of a Rite-Aid in a rather rough-looking neighborhood, denting the bumpers of the three other cars parked near them. The hairy girl in the backseat opened her car door and ran out into the parking lot.
As she came upon the automatic doors, she ran right into one, hitting her forehead and leaving an oily mark.
"Ow..." she muttered.
Abruptly, the doors slid open. More cautiously, she walked into the store, barely avoiding the doors closing on her ass. Her eyes were greeted by a sterile-looking environment with many fluorescent lights. Hyperactively, she rain through the aisles, yelling "Nads! Heero! Nads!" as if unable to decide which one she wanted more.
Relena, as she was not watching where she was going, ran into a display. medium-sized, mostly light green boxes fell on and around her. She fell on her posterior, however. Picking up a bow, she read the label.
"Nads!"
She ran out of the store, careful not to smack into the automatic doors again. The clerk didn't bother to yell at her about paying for it, for fear that she would try to flirt her way out. The extremely ugly girl hopped into the back of her pink limo, startling her aging butler.
"Pargan, drive me home!"
"Yes, Miss Relena."
The people in the parking lot, afraid to mug her, let her car pass without hassling. When she came to her large mansion, she hopped out of the limo, without giving Pargan a chance to park, or, for that matter, stop. She ran inside, into the bathroom, and set about using her new possession.