That he will leave you, never
Life
isn't lived with such an ease,
Soft
clouds don't last forever.
After two weeks of
worrying she finally decided to accept it. She would be all alone for her 18th
birthday. It wasn't that her friends didn't care enough about her; it was just
that everyone was gone. She had joked with Rinoa and Quistis about all the
crazy things they had planned to do at her party, but they were away on a SeeD
candidate-training mission and became trapped in Centra while a hurricane
passed through. All of her friends from the Garden Festival Committee and other
clubs she had joined were in Trabia volunteering to help rebuild her old Garden.
The only reason she wasn't there with them was because she had returned home
two weeks ago to spend time with Irvine. But she wasn't even granted his
company for long. Squall and Zell had been out on a top-secret mission and
called Garden requesting Irvine's snipping ability.
"Don't worry, Butterfly, I'll be back with the boys
in no time!"
He had kissed her good-bye and run to catch
his transport. The Garden felt so large and empty without her friends there.
Selphie spent most of her days lying on the grass in the quad. The sky made for
a good companion. She would lose all her worries and frustrations in the vast
blue expanse, and comfort herself in the warmth of the sun.
"I guess it doesn't really matter that they won't be here for my
birthday." She told herself "It's just another day, after all." Though Selphie
knew she was speaking logically, she still felt as though she was lying to
herself.
The sun was setting,
and for the 10th time that month she headed back to her dorm alone.
The warm sheets of her bed welcomed her, and her pillow seemed to beckon her
weary head.
"You better come back safe, Cowboy!" She chided after Irvine as he
strode off slowly. He spun around and flashed her a smile before running back.
He enveloped her in his arms and spun her around in the air.
"'Course,
Sunshine!" He drawled "And don't worry, I'll be able to keep an eye on you
while I'm away." He finished with a wink.
"Oh and
how is that?" She questioned dreamily.
"Well, to
be a sniper one must have very sharp eyes. I could see that smile from half way
around the world!" Suddenly he shifted position and pointed to the sky "Make ya
a deal. Whenever I'm away and you want to make sure I'm with you, you just
smile up at one of them clouds and I'll be up there, able to see ya. When I'm
out on some mission I'll always be doing my duty of watching my butterfly, ok?"
He looked down into her sparkling eyes with such sincerity she could have
melted.
"Kinneas!
We're leaving!" A distant voice called her love away from her.
"Don't
worry, Butterfly, I'll be back with the boys in no time." A kiss and a few
steps later he was gone.
The transport fled quickly out of sight,
but as it did the scenery around her began to shift and change drastically. The
crystal blue sky transformed into a deep scarlet blanket and the white
marshmallow clouds turned black and threatening. A dense fog rolled in around
her, the whole atmosphere appeared as though she was trapped inside of a room
filled with blinding smoke. Selphie squinted against the stinging darkness,
swatting the air around her in an attempt to escape it. She ran aimlessly for
only a few steps before the fog began to lift. But when it did she found
herself somewhere completely different. There was…nothing…a scorching desert
for miles all around her. The sky was blacked out from sight by threatening
clouds, and the wind whipped around her, burning her face.
A sudden flash of light
revealed right in front of her, her worst nightmare.
"NO!" Selphie shot up in bed, covered in an ice cold sweat. Tears
mingled with the sweat as they flowed down her pale cheeks. Her heart was
pounding in her chest and her fists clutched the sheets so tightly her knuckles
turned white. Selphie began to gasp for air, her mind had forgotten to breath.
Her entire body felt empty, numb. There was a void in her chest, and her
stomach hurt with something other than pain. Her lungs refused to be satisfied
with oxygen, and she squeezed her eyes closed tightly to attempt to ease the
throbbing in her head and the ringing in her ears as the blood rushed.
Time Passed too
slowly. When her breathing returned to her, Selphie glanced over at her clock.
3:03 AM. Her bed no longer looked comfortable and she feared what she would see
if her head were to rest upon the pillow. As her eyes scanned over the room,
scenes from her dream fluttered across her eyes. The events of the day she said
good-bye to Irvine, the shifting to the ominous desert, the flash of light… but
not the image revealed by it. Whatever that light had shown her in her dream
she did not wish to remember. Her mind screamed out to tell her but she refused
to listen, afraid of what she might hear.
Without warning,
Selphie was once again overcome with the feeling of emptiness. It was a
sickening sensation, over which she'd no control. She crawled out of her bed
over to the corner of her small room and began to rock herself back and forth
slowly, as she had done when she was just a little girl. She stared at the
clock across from her, mesmerized by the dim red glow. Seconds passed like
hours. Her eyelids defied her and became heavier than she could fight. Selphie
tumbled into a restless sleep.
At 5:30 Selphie found
herself suddenly wide-awake in a small ball on the floor. Her heart skipped a
beat as she heard mumbling from outside her door. Nervous voices conversed but
she couldn't make out the words. Seconds later two letters were slid under her
door. The first thing she noticed was one of the letters was an official SeeD
telegram. Selphie refused to breath as shaky fingers picked the paper in front
of her. After breaking the seal, she forced her eyes to read what was in front
of her.
'SeeD Level A, Captain Selphie Tilmitt,
By the request of SeeD Level A, Captain
Irvine Kinneas, you are the first to be notified. We regret to inform you that
at 0300 hours, this of date, July 16, Sniper Irvine Kinneas was killed in
action. He was killed by an enemy sniper who got off two shots. Kinneas was out
of ammo after eliminating his last target. He died in honor as a prized member
of SeeD. We understand that our words will be of little consolation, but we are
sorry for your loss.'
The words stung threw to her soul and her
heart was caught in her throat. Selphie clutched the telegram tightly to her
chest with one hand; the other supported her from crumbling to the ground. All
she could see in front of her eyes were black storm clouds with fire dancing
mockingly within them. Slightly above the ringing in her head she could hear
the sound of thunder rumbling outside her window. Minutes passed like an
eternity. The telegram fell from her hand, and landed harmlessly on the floor.
She let her eyes trail down to it and noticed the second letter that had come
with it. Fate was not through torturing her yet. The front was addressed to her
in familiar handwriting. As she tore open the envelope a small ring fell out.
Selphie made no motion to retrieve it. The card she pulled out would normally
have brought a smile to her face, but today it clawed at her soul. A hand drawn
butterfly was sketched on the front. Dirty fingerprints were smudged along the
edges. She breathed in deeply the scent of gunpowder mingling with old leather.
'Hey Sefie!
Happy
18th Birthday! Bet ya figured I'd forget, right? I wish I could be
there with you right now to give you kiss, but it looks like I won't be able to
make it back just yet. I won't let the stop me from doing what I've been
waiting to do ever since I first saw you, Sunshine. …'
Her eyes studied the next five words and her
heart stopped. She never noticed the unending stream of tears rushing toward
the carpet. She opened her mouth and, without conscious effort, a scream of
utter agony was emitted. Selphie fell to the floor amongst the pieces of her
splintered life. Her bright emerald eyes were clouded and her face was paled.
The last five words of the letter were the crushing blow to her battered soul.
'…Selphie,
will you marry me?'
Purest clouds can turn to black
As the brightest face turns dim
Too many pains for her to track
When thinking
turns to him
When lightening tears across the sky
It brings
to light what time has told.
That all is well when white clouds fly;
Dark skies can mock the tortured soul.
~Poem by Rinny Angel~
