My best friend sunk helpless into my arms and cried,

My best friend sunk helpless into my arms and cried, and I stood there, numb, hurting, cursing myself for my stupidity. Stupidity? Yes, damned stupidity! He was hurting so badly...and me, being my thick self, didn't notice. Didn't even twig on to the fact until he broke down like a child in front of me.

I held him close to me. There was nothing else I could do. I just held him while he cried so hard that his entire body was shaking. Finally, he slipped from my arms and fell to the floor, sobbing hysterically with his face in his hands.

"Matt..." I said softly, the words sticking in my throat. He balled his hands into fists and pounded the floor, his dark blonde hair hiding his face.

"I hate this I hate this I hate this I HATE IT!!"

"Matt!" I cried, falling to my knees and semi-embracing him. "Honey, please stop this...please..."

Honey. I called him "honey"?! Was I insane? I bit my lip as I rubbed his back comfortingly, brushing the hair out of his eyes with my free hand. No...I don't know. I was so confused now. It was breaking my heart watching Matt crumble like this, and I felt desperate to comfort him...but I was at a complete loss as to how.

*Idiot Tai strikes again,* I thought bitterly. What kind of friend was I?

Matt sat up, hiccuping and swiping at his eyes. "I'm sorry, Tai...I shouldn't have...I mean...God, stupid crying...I'm sorry..."

"Shh," I said softly, brushing the hair out of his eyes, making sure he was looking straight at me. "Shhh, Matt, it's okay. It'll just get worse if you keep it all inside. Trust me..."

He looked away, acutely embarassed. "I know..."

Inside, I felt like screaming. When Matt gets like this...sorrowful, apologetic and...for the want of a better word, "I know"-ish, I just want to yell at him, but at the same time, I can't. I don't know why he does it...I mean, God, he could pour out his life story to me and I'd listen!! I'm his *friend*, that's what I'm supposed to do!!

No...I don't do it because I'm supposed to...I do it because I...

"I care, Matt," I blurted out, turning pink as his blue eyes looked up at me, startled.

"Tai..." he said, and I noticed the tears shimmering in those windows to his soul once again. I started babbling insanely.

"Matt, you're my friend. And god, it hurts me so bad when you're hurting like this. I can't stand it. I can't stand it when you get all depressed and start all this "I know" crap. It makes my stomach hurt. Matt...please..."

Two tears spilled down his face. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't say that..." I said, shakily putting my hand up to his cheek, brushing away the moisture with my thumb.

He turned his face towards the palm of my hand and kissed it, reaching up with his own hand and stroking my fingers. An electric shock of uncertainty hit me. I shook it off, swallowing.

"Tai..." he said. His voice was very quiet, almost defeated.

"Yeah?"

"Let's run away," he said, looking straight into my eyes. "Let's run away from this insanity...we'll go somewhere where we can...I dunno. Tokyo or someplace. Let's go there. Just us, for a vac--"

"MASAHARU!! You are PUSHING your LUCK!! YES!! I *KNOW*!" Mrs. Takaishi's voice bordered on a scream. I had no idea what to do or think; my parents fought, but not like this...usually about dumb things, like the TV remote and money and my room being a mess. They'd never yelled at each other the way Mrs. Takaishi and Mr. Ishida did...

Matt closed his eyes, breathing erratically. I almost panicked.

"Matt, look, I th--"

"I have to get out of here," he said, his voice deadly calm "They're killing me, Tai. They've been killing me since the day I was born. Once--just ONCE--I'd like to...I don't know. Fly. Run."

I faltered. "Run away?"

"Yes."

"Man...that's heavy, you know? That's...permanent?"

His shoulders slumped. "I don't know..."

"I'm not sure. Look, you're my friend, and all I want is for you to be--"

"MASAHARU!!"

Matt clenched his teeth and opened his eyes. He stood up shakily and grabbed his jacket.

"Matt!"

"I just need to get out...please...*please* Tai..."

The pitiful, strained look on his face not only broke my heart, but shattered it into little pieces. My throat tightening, I nodded, slipping into my own jacket.

"C'mon...we'll go antagonize Izzy or something." I said, which made him smile a little. I smiled myself, and we walked out of the Takaishi's apartment, past his mother, who he nodded to as indication that we were leaving.

We took the elevator down, and Matt ran out of the apartment building. He turned his face towards the sun. It looking absolutely amazing playing on his gold hair and attractive features. I smiled, albeit sadly, at this tiny sense of freedom he had.

I noticed something strange...as soon as we stepped out of the apartment, he starting giving off an aura of aloof coolness...sort of an "I'm too cool for you, get away from me, loser" air about him that he used at school. No, it wasn't the aura that surprised me, it was how quickly he slipped into it.

He must have felt my stare, because he turned to me, those baby blues questioning.

"Tai?"

I walked up to him, and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked slightly annoyed at my touch.

"You'll be okay, Matt," I said, not shrinking away from him.

He relaxed, and a momentary flicker of doubt crossed his face. "You reckon?"

"Yeah," I said, and smiled at him. He gave me his classic Ishida half-grin back, and we walked across the street and into the city.