Okay, sorry this is a day late. I wrote the final scene over a month ago, but waited until Wednesday to decide that it needed to be re-written. What a time to get perfectionistic, no? Anyway, this is the final chapter of 'Ad Finem.' I hope you enjoy it. It's been a lot of fun to write. I'm aware that I did leave some loose ends. Most of those will be wrapped up in the sequel which should be ready in a month or so. Right now it's called 'The Wasteland,' but I'm not sure whether I'll keep it or not. This is fanfiction, and I don't have any legal rights to any of the characters in it. Please send comments. Authors like that. ^-^ ---------------------------------------------------------------- ============= Chapter Eight ============= She knew what was coming next. She didn't believe, but she knew. She had to close her eyes. She prayed that it wouldn't seem like too bold a thing to do, but she just couldn't watch. Couldn't keep looking at him and retain her sanity. After a few moments, she began to doubt. Nothing was happening. Had she imagined it all? How foolish she'd feel then. What if- Lips on lips. A soft, light touch. Warm and dry. And her heart fluttered, and her world shook, and her whole life seemed like no more than a prelude to this perfect, simple touch. She reached up and tangled her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck. It was not so much a caress as a physical way of anchoring herself into this reality. The reality where he loved her and needed her and wanted to kiss her. For a long time, nothing more happened. Just his lips and her lips and their lips. For a long time, that was enough. Then his thumb brushed her cheek lightly, and he made the tiniest of sounds deep in his throat, and suddenly she was hungry for more. She pulled a little; moved her lips a little. It was all the encouragement he needed. His kiss was everything she could have wanted. A bit rusty, perhaps, but not inexperienced. Full of passion barely held in check. Beautiful. Frightening. Far too brief. She shook when he pulled away. Her breath was rapid; her ears were ringing. She hugged him again, laying her head heavily on his shoulder. It was then that she realized that her feet had stopped touching the ground. She almost laughed. She could, more or less, ignore gravity at will, but it usually took at least *some* conscious effort. Yue noticed too and gave an amused sort of grunt. She supposed it was too soon for anything like actual laughter. Then his wings were wrapping around her, and his hand was searching for hers. "Oh, Yue." To be holding one another in silence was a wonderful thing. The revelation had been both swift and totally unexpected. She needed nothing so much as a few moments to gather her thoughts and wait for her heart to adjust to its change in altitude. She was glad of his firm grip and apparent calm. She knew the two of them would need a chance to talk about this; that one kiss, however divine, did not irrevocably settle a future, but right now she was a bit too excitable for anything so serious. Besides, it was difficult to concentrate with Yue running his hand through her hair like this. She sighed into his shoulder. This was definitely something she could get used to. His neck was awfully close to her lips. There it was, all white and smooth, and available. Perhaps she should lean a bit closer, and- Someone nearby cleared his throat. Keroberus. She had *completely* forgotten an *entire* guardian! What an embarrassing oversight! With the help of the wings still tightly wrapped around her, she resisted the compulsion to jump away from Yue like some guilty teen-ager. She suspected, however, that Kero-chan would not miss the signs of her mortification. She didn't want to look up. She buried her face in Yue's shoulder, and wished he'd hide her completely with those beautiful wings. He too seemed a little sheepish, though, and pulled away slowly doing his best to look bored and superior. The tangles she had left in his hair spoiled the effect a bit. Nothing for it, then. She willed her feet back to the ground. "Mou! Kero-chan! We were just getting to the good part!" Then she smiled, and went to her knees to hug him tightly. "Uh, excuse me, master ..." Yue stuttered. "But I have to ..." She looked up, but only managed to confirm to herself that her Moon Guardian was more flustered than she'd ever seen him. " ... Sorry," he concluded eloquently, then he made a hasty exit. Gone, no doubt, to gather what he could of his dignity. Sakura snorted into Kero-chan's fur. "I'm going to have to have a talk with that boy." "No doubt," an amused growl. "Oh, Kero-chan! He's back, he's safe, he's alright!" She squeezed him enthusiastically. "He *kissed* me!" "I noticed." "It was just ... I didn't ... I wasn't going to tell him. I was going to be so strong. And then, he ... How did he *know*?" Keroberus purred. "Is it too soon to be really really really happy?" Keroberus purred. "You're right. It's too soon. I should just wait and give him a chance to explain and not jump to conclusions and assume that it means anything really serious yet. I mean, he could have just ... really missed me, I suppose, but ... he *kissed* me! You saw him kiss me, right? Do you think he really ... How did he know?" Keroberus purred, and then began licking her face with his huge coarse-grade tongue. She appreciated the gesture, but pushed him away for the sake of maintaining her youthful complexion. "Cut it out, ya big pussy cat!" She stood and brushed the cat hair from her dress. "Kero-chan, do you think it's ... serious?" He looked at her solemnly. "Sakura-chan, no one is more surprised by what just happened than I am. I can't say why Yue ... greeted you so ... affectionately. But I do know that he'd never play with your feelings. I'm sure he'll come talk to you about this soon." She thought about that, then nodded. "I hope so. Thanks." She touched her lips in a stunned sort of way. "Kero-chan, what do you think about all of this?" He was quiet a little longer than she would have liked. When he did answer, his concern and love were both obvious. "Sakura, Yue is ... delicate. I know that you'll remember that. I know that you love him very much. I know that you'll be kind to him." "So ... so you don't ... mind?" He shook his head. "I hope you'll be happy. I suspect you will." She kneeled to hug him again. "Thanks, Kero-chan. You're the best!" "I know," he said. "You're lucky to have someone as cool as me around to help you with this stuff." *** For one such as he, it was easy to hide in the falling snow. It was white; grey; blue, it sparkled. He glided through the trees looking for ... something. Somewhere to exist in space; think his own thoughts; still his turbulent emotions. Except that they weren't turbulent. Not any more. For the first time in decades, he could really own his feelings; really examine them without fear and know that in ten minutes they'd be fundamentally unchanged. One more thing for To-ya to be smug about. So while his emotions were frightening, bright, and powerful, they weren't unpredictable now. They weren't vague or mercurial. He knew what he felt. He knew that when he watched the sun come up in the morning, his primary natural feeling would be love for Sakura. He knew that in a week's time, it would be love for Sakura. He knew that in years and decades and centuries, that feeling would remain unchanged and undiminished. And it engendered within him a host of secondary emotions that didn't keep him from loving her, but nevertheless made him tremble. How dare he presume to love some one like her? Without a rational thought in his head, he had just reached down and kissed her; given her a reason to believe that she and he could have ... could be ... could ... With all his heart he wanted to be with her. He wanted to go back. He wanted to take her in his arms and let the adoration and contentment that would again rise in her soothe away all the shame and guilt and doubt that had come to lay siege to the pillars of his love for her. If he voiced any of his doubts, he was sure that she'd be quick to banish them in her bright and chatty way. He knew that she would eventually wear down all of his objections. Even now he could feel her developing tentative expectations. She knew that he would come back to her. She knew that they would discuss ... possibilities. She was overwhelmed by the hope that was growing stronger and stronger every minute. She cautioned it; struggled to be logical and reasonable, but it was hope, and she was Sakura, and it was bound to win. He trembled as she fought off one very physical longing. He had to hold tight to a nearby tree until it passed, or in a flash of hair and feathers, he would be back at her side ... in her arms ... This was not going to be easy. There could be no denying Sakura. She wanted him, therefore, he was hers. There had been a time when he'd had a choice in the matter, but that time had come to an end the moment he had pressed his lips to hers; had opened within her that floodgate of expectation and hope. And now there would be no going back. In a moment of weakness, he had given himself to her irrevocably. He couldn't find it in himself to wish things had gone differently. He loved her, he desired her, she was utterly attainable. That didn't stop him from feeling guilty, unworthy, and foolish. "Oh, Sakura-sama! You deserve someone so much better than I. Someone understanding and ... human. Someone who is your equal." Waiting for an equal, however, would mean a long and lonely life for someone like her. "Why does she love *me* so much?" The trees had no answer. 'To-ya, please?' Resignation. Patience. _What now?_ Yue took a few deep breaths. He was in agony though he couldn't have said why. 'What should I do?' _Why torture yourself? What's so terrible about Yue that he doesn't deserve to be loved by someone wonderful?_ The question came gently, more clearly than he'd heard To-ya in a century, backed up by infinite love and tenderness without a trace of censure or irony. 'But she's ...' _I know._ 'And I'm ...' _I know._ He was miserable through and through. Amusement. _She'll get her way in the end. She always does._ This observation did nothing to ease Yue's shame. Understanding. Loving encouragement. _You have two choices. You can love her and be happy, or you can love her and be miserable._ 'It's not that simple.' _It's exactly that simple._ The temptation was strong. He wanted to hate himself for this indiscretion. He was ashamed of his weakness and unworthiness in the face of her benevolence and To-ya's. He knew that it wouldn't make Sakura happy, though, and To-ya would worry, so ... It was hard. It hurt. But he had to try. He had to do his best to make her happy. He had to offer his soul to her, and soon. Except ... 'What about you?' _What about me?_ 'It's you that I love first.' _But that's different ... now._ Yue wasn't convinced. 'I would have stayed true to you for eternity. I wanted to.' Logic. Caring. _It doesn't work that way. You tried that. You were unhappy. It's time to try something different._ A gentle reminder of his promise long ago. _Make her happy, Yue. You're the only one I trust._ 'I ... I'll try, To-ya.' _Promise._ 'To-ya ...' Insistence. Encouragement. _I ... I promise, To-ya._ Gratitude. Faith. _I love you, Yue._ Then his presence faded to background noise, and Yue listened, exhausted and overwhelmed, but with resolve. 'And I love you.' Another promise to To-ya. He'd kept the last one mechanically; to the letter. This one he would throw himself into with determination. He would love Sakura. He would cherish her for as long as she would let him. He would hold her in his heart for his eternity. His fears were real, but she had found him worthy. To-ya, even, thought him a fitting match for his precious sister. The ultimate approval. His heart was still full of many things, but the hope and the happiness were beginning to push back the doubt. The light was beginning to fill his soul. They would talk. They would come to an agreement about the future, and... He quailed. Oh, it wasn't so easy! She was so perfect! So powerful! He couldn't just walk up to her, and ... Chastising himself for cowardice, he found a sturdy branch to rest on. For hours, he sat formulating a plan. They had to speak. Alone. Setting was key, and so was timing. He consulted his internal chronometer. Two days. He had two days to rally his courage and plan his words. In two days, he needed to be ready. ======== Epilogue ======== She followed Yue through the cold and cloudless sky trying hard to stay calm. He'd come to her at dusk after two days of relative silence, guilty glances, and stolen intimacies. He'd said they needed to be alone; that they needed to talk. He'd asked for her time and her trust, and had brought her here; had said she'd like it; that it was a good place for solitude and reflection. They'd traveled by air to the far side of a nearby peak, and up the slope to a hidden mountain lake. She found herself wondering what it would look like in the spring. "You're right," said Sakura breathlessly. "This place is absolutely beautiful." As she folded her wings into non- existence, she looked again at the small lake, now frozen and snow covered, the ring of trees that defined it, and the white meadow sparkling in the starlight. Yue cleared the snow from one fallen tree with a soft magical breeze, removed his drape, and with slow and deliberate grace, folded it neatly over the trunk. He took his master's hand gallantly, and they sat. "It's not far from home. It's nearly impossible to reach on foot." She leaned close, resting against him. "I know how important it is to have a place to be alone," she said. "I'm ... I'm really honored that you'd share this place with me." He glanced down at his feet in the snow, then smiled slightly. "There are some things we should talk about. I thought you'd like it here." She was becoming used to the feeling of his wings around her. She wondered how much of it was instinctive to him. At the moment, she appreciated both the physical warmth, and the affection the act represented. He was becoming more comfortable with the idea of being with her in intimate ways. They had not done more than kiss in the days since his return, but every day his tension decreased, and she somehow sensed that his mind was catching up to his emotions. She was grateful for both the reserve he showed, and for the intense desire that he only hinted at. One helped her to feel unthreatened in this new love, the other to feel confident that it was real; that he hadn't merely sensed the fantasy lover that she hadn't meant to make him into in her mind. He *did* love her. He did want to be hers. She was glad of it. She let go of his hand to put her arms around him, and sighed when he responded in kind. She snuggled close to him with a happy murmur. He bent to kiss the top of her head; stroked her hair with his free hand; brushed her cheek. They sat in silence several minutes each thinking their own thoughts and savoring the other's nearness and the beauty of the night. The warmth and peace were hypnotic, and Sakura found herself fighting off sleep, but she clung to him, and smelled him, and thought of all the things that had not yet happened between them, and all the things that soon they would each say. There was no reason to rush either. To be held by him, in this, his most sacred place was enough for now. This time together had been his idea, and she would let him use it for whatever his dream said should happen next. If he was content merely to hold her -- a more tender and romantic gesture than she'd have suspected him capable of -- she was more than happy to give him the chance. There was something so familiar about this ... Hadn't he held her like this ... Ah. With quiet happiness, she remembered her dreams. She didn't know how often, or for how long, but there had been dreams about this. Dreams where his wings had been around her. Dreams that had prepared her, perhaps, for the particular joy of being loved by someone like Yue. The future was less than totally open to her, but even as a child, there had always been dreams. She sometimes wondered how they were supposed to be helpful when she couldn't remember them the majority of the time, but that was magic for you. After what she guessed from the movement of the stars was, perhaps, half an hour, he pointed straight ahead out across the field, south east over the lake, and through the trees. Her breath caught as the snowscape came slowly to life. The trees sparkled as moonglow revealed itself. Soft white light through a million tiny prisms of ice. She was nearly overwhelmed by the pristine beauty of it all, and she knew that it was only the beginning. At last, the moon showed itself through the trees. It was full and white and perfect, and suddenly she knew that he had planned this night on many levels. He was at the height of his power, and his courage would not fail him. He had brought her here with a clear purpose in mind, and he would not be swayed from it. With all her heart, she rejoiced in the knowledge that before the moon set, all would be resolved between them for all time. She pulled her gaze away from that wonderful moon, and looked up to find him watching her. She smiled, shy and happy, and put one hand lightly on his chest. The night was lovely, but she would rather look at him. He seemed to want to kiss her again, but he merely turned to face her fully, and placed both hands on her waist. "Sakura-sama, I'd ... I think it's time we talked." She nodded seriously, then waited, entranced by the emotion in his eyes. "You must know that I ... that I adore you. I wouldn't have said anything except that ... I thought you might ... not mind. You've been a very good master to me, and I know that I should be content. I wasn't going to tell you that I had come to ... feel strongly about you. But then I didn't see you for so long ... couldn't be near you or help you and ... I just *missed* you so very much. It seemed to me ... It seemed to me that when I came back ... you ... I still wouldn't have said anything, but it seemed to me that your feelings had changed too." Sakura shook her head. "Yue ..." He seemed confused. "Was I wrong? I ..." "No! Yue, I ... " She held him tightly. "Yue, my feelings for you ... they ... they haven't changed since I was little. I ... I *love* you. I've *always* loved you. I just ... I buried it so deep. I tried to forget. You're my obsession. My inspiration. It's been so long. I thought I had it all under control, but you ... Yue, when you fell, when I didn't know what had happened or if you were alright ..." He was brushing tears from her face. Again. And she didn't even remember beginning to cry. "I nearly came undone, Yue. I thought ... Oh, I was frightened. It all came rushing back to me. All those feelings. All that frustrated desire. I knew then that I've never stopped loving you. You fill my heart. You always have." She leaned forward and rested her weight on him. She could feel his breath on her neck. She held tight. "I ... I don't want you to feel like that obligates you, Yue. I don't need to be loved by you to be happy. I'm content to be near you; content to be your friend. If ... if this isn't what's in your heart, then I ... I don't want it." "I know that." She looked up at him again. His eyes were clear and intense. His grip was firm. He smiled. "You think only of others. You give so completely of yourself. I exist only to serve you, and yet, you gave me my freedom all those years ago. You may not know this, but you didn't have to. You could have bound me to you back then, but you didn't. I was happy because my happiness was more important to you than your own. Nothing has changed, my beloved master. You have the power to capture this heart by the strength of your will, and yet you don't. I see your desire, but also your fear. Stop worrying. I am yours because I choose to be. I am yours because you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. I am more flattered; more honored; more humbled than you could ever dream to know that you have found me worthy." Very slowly, he pulled away from her and stood. She watched as he straightened, his feet not leaving the ground. Almost visibly, he gathered something ethereal around him. Not his power. Something more fundamental and universal. Something that gave him a deeper dignity. An air of emotional gravity that unconsciously made her take in a deep breath and hold it for a long time. With grace, he knelt before her and placed his head in her lap. She took his hands and pulled, urging him to rise, but he remained there, worshiping her, the sense of formality stong all around him. "And so again I pledge myself to you. My body is yours and my power, but from this day forth, you possess my heart as well. By those stars and that moon, I swear to love and adore you forever." "Oh, Yue, get up," she whispered hoarsely, but he merely tightened his grip on her hands, and pressed his head more firmly into her lap. A formal pledge. An act of subjugation to his master, but so much more. She couldn't stop him from giving up everything to make her happy. She could only promise to do the same for him. She rose, then knelt to join him, her knees touching his in the snow. He turned to her, and she pressed her forehead against his. He'd said the words. He'd promised to love her forever. He was helping her to redefine happiness. Nothing else mattered. Almost nothing. "What about ... ?" He squeezed her hand. "What is it, master?" Master. Oh, well. They could work on that. "What about ... Yukito-san?" "What about him?" She held on a little tighter to fight off any doubts her words might bring him. He *must* believe that she loved him no matter what. "Will this ... hurt him? I know he's not ready for ..." "He's not ready now. He'll be ready someday. Be patient." "But you and I ..." He kissed her, briefly, but with an inherent promise for many more to come. He was ready *now*. No baggage, no regrets or entanglements. He looked at her again, then placed her hand over his chest. "I can't help it." he said. "This heart is yours. Everything else is a minor detail. That he will love you as I do is inevitable. You will know when the time is right." "But ..." Yue looked inside himself. "He's surprised. He didn't know. But he doesn't mind." "Doesn't mind?" He smiled mysteriously leaning in close. "He thinks it's only Yue that loves you." he whispered. "We'll let him believe that for now, shall we?" It wasn't the fact that he was conspiring against Yukito that surprised her. It was the fact that he was taking such joy in it. "Won't he hear you?" "He won't hear anything from me that he isn't ready to believe. He'll find this memory someday. When we've grown closer together again." "I suppose ... if you're sure." He nodded gravely. That made it her turn. She wasn't really good with formal. Especially when she was excited or happy. He'd just have to settle for earnest. "Then ... then I promise. I promise too. I love you. I'll love you forever. I belong to you as surely as ever you belonged to me. You have always been such a wonderful and loyal friend. It makes me so happy to know that finally we both feel the same way. So I will give you my love for as long as I live." The words seemed so flawed and inadequate, but they were enough. She felt the power of the words, she added her magical will to them and felt him do the same. Guided by some shared instinct, they raised their joined hands between them, closed their eyes, and felt the bond take effect. "So be it," whispered Yue. "So be it," she repeated breathlessly. They looked at each other smiling foolishly for a long time, then shared a gentle kiss. Sakura's heart sang within her for the beauty of this perfect moment. Her head rested on his shoulder, and she closed her eyes again. A strange energy stirred. It came from him, but he seemed unaware of it. A quiet voice that she somehow knew he couldn't hear whispered 'About damned time.' She smiled into her beloved's neck. 'Onii-chan, are you really okay with all of this?' 'Not really. I'm jealous as hell.' 'It wasn't exactly my idea, you know. If it hadn't been for you...' He somehow sighed. 'He needed this. You both did. Both of you all wrapped up in your own problems. Bereavement. Loneliness. Duty. Couple of martyrs. You think it made me happy seeing you both so stoic and brave? The happier the two of you are, the easier my job will be. The closer you stay to each other, the less I'll have to worry about either of you.' She snuggled closer to Yue, and melted a little more when he gently stroked her back. His wings flexed, extended to their full span, then once again, folded tightly around her. They reminded her again of ... 'My dreams! Onii-chan! Thank you for the dreams! Without them, I might never have figured it out.' 'What dreams?' They still weren't completely clear in her mind, but she sent him the impression of contentment. 'The warm dreams. The ones with the feathers.' 'I didn't send you any dreams like that.' 'Of course you did. I would wake up warm and happy. Who else would know what it would be like? I-' 'They didn't come from me. Those dreams where you kept getting chased around the basement by that angry water buffalo spirit? Those were from me. Nothing about feathers, though.' 'Onii-chan!' But she was happy. Unbelievably happy. 'So now we can fix him?' 'Won't be easy.' 'But you know what to do?' 'Nope. But I'm sure you'll figure it out.' 'Onii-chan!' 'You worry too much. It's your wedding night. Enjoy yourself. Be happy. There's time for-' 'Solving of great mysteries later. I know, I know.' He seemed amused. 'Right now just concentrate on making him happy. Love him. Teach him to laugh again. Yue has a beautiful laugh.' 'I remember.' 'Now go do unspeakable things or something. I've got stuff to do.' She blushed. 'Thank you, onii-chan.' 'Whatever.' And he was gone. And in a snow-layered mountain clearing, the greatest magician of all time held her beloved close, and turned her face to the moon, and laughed for joy. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Did everyone save room for sequels? ^-^ Thanks for reading! .\\ichelle Thatcher http://www.akane.org/michelle
