"...all right." I said quietly, not convinced.
"Look, Tai..." he sat up, pushing his hair back out of his eyes. "I...I did do stupid things. And yeah, I'm a mess...but, really, you don't have to worry about me."
I sighed in frustration. "Matt, you're playing slice and dice with your arm, you're prone to random bouts of tears, you don't want to go home. I'd say that that's fair indication that I have to worry about you."
"Well," he flared. "What do YOU suggest I do?"
I sat back down on the couch, rubbing my face. "I don't know, Matt. I just don't know."
"I'm NOT going to a psy...whatever. I don't need it."
"I never said you should!"
"Just warning you."
I sighed again. "I think you should talk to your mom, though, Matt."
"But..."
I glanced up at his face. He looked worried, and gave me an imploring look. I touched his cheek gently.
"Matt, she'll understand. She'll probably be terrified that she's put you through so much pain. I know your mom."
He nodded, then yawned. "Tomorrow...I'm tired."
"You're avoiding the subject."
He grinned at me lazily through half-lidded eyes. "I know."
I smiled, despite myself.
"Hey, Tai?" he asked, his eyes fluttering closed.
"Yeah?"
"I want another kiss," he murmured, his words slurred.
"Matt, you're half asleep," I said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and hauling him to his feet.
"Aww..."
"Bedtime," I said, guiding him into my room and lying him across my bed, pulling his shoes off for him.
"Tai, you don't have to do that..."
"Hush up and get some rest," I said, brushing his hair out of eyes.
"Tai..." he mumbled, then his eyes fluttered shut.
"'Night," I murmured, kissing his soft lips gently and slipping out of the room.
* * *
I wanted to help Matt. More than anything, I did. But...I just couldn't relate.
I sank down into the sofa, staring into space. I just couldn't grasp what it would be like to fear your own parents. Sure, Dad's like a grizzly bear when something's crawled up his nose, but I'd never felt helpless fear around him. Mom and Dad had their silly little fights over Dad losing the remote and so on, but they never screamed at each other.
More than likely, it'd be Dad doing something stupid to annoy Mom. And Mom would give him the cold shoulder. Oh boy, would she ever! The only person I'd met who can give the cold shoulder anywhere as well as my mother was Matt. Anyway, Mom would give Dad the cold shoulder, and Kari and I would snicker and make "you're in the doghouse now!" type comments.
My dad's a charmer, though. He'd sneak up behind Mom while she was watching TV or something, and kiss her hair. Mom'd grin and swat at him, then he'd growl into her neck and Kari and I would take that as our cue to leave the room. It was all good, though.
So I just couldn't picture what it would be like to fear your parents, to have your family torn in half, to cry over how your family life was. It was impossible.
I groaned and switched on the TV, but seeing as it was close to eleven, nothing was on. So again, I was left with the hollow echoings of my thoughts. I think it's fair to say I've been through a lot in my life. But my poor Matt...he'd been through so much more. I groaned once again and buried my head underneath a pillow lying on the couch, and kicked my heels against the side of the couch. I punctuated each of my kicks with a word.
"Damn it, (kick) I wanna help him (kick), but I don't know how (kick). Maybe I should (kick) take him on vacation--"
With that last kick, I ended up slamming my foot on the coffee table. I yelped and jumped around, hissing things unrepeatable, when the phone rang.
"Eeeyah..." I muttered, hopping over to it. "Hold on, hold on...I'm getting there as fast as I can!"
I picked up the receiver. "Hello?"
"Hello, Tai? This is Nancy Takaishi, Matt's mom," she sounded choked up and worried. "Is Matt with you? He left this afternoon, I think, and didn't come back home..."
Matt forgot to call his mom! Silently I cursed. He was in deep trouble when he got home...
"It's okay, Mrs. Takaishi. Matt's here, and he's fine...uh...and staying the night."
"Excuse me?" Mrs. Takaishi said, sounding angry. "And he didn't tell me?"
"He tried," I said, lamely, "But your phone was engaged."
"It hasn't been for the last hour."
"He was...he's kinda not well at the moment..."
"And he didn't call?"
"Mrs. Takaishi!!" I shouted, and bit my lip. Was I on crack or something?! I began babbling. "Matt's not happy at all right now. In fact, he's really depressed. He left your apartment really upset, and look, I know he won't tell you about it, so I will, he's just--"
I turned around slowly, my eyes flying to the door of my bedroom. Matt was standing there, eyes burning into mine, a lethal scowl stretched across his beautiful face.
I drew in a breath. "Uh...he's here, Mrs. Takaishi...would you like to speak to him?"
"Yes, thankyou Tai."
I swallowed and held the receiver out to the golden-haired pillar of fury before me. "Your mom wants to talk to you."
He took it without a word, but shot me a look that gave me chills. He turned and faced the wall, wrapping his free arm around his midsection.
"Hi...yes...I'm sorry, but the phone was engaged...I fell asleep...yes...no, I'm okay...yes...yes...I will...I know...okay...yes...love you too. Bye."
He placed the phone back in the receiver and shot me another chilling look over his shoulder, then walked off back to my bedroom.
"Matt!" I yelled, starting after him. "Matt, wait--"
He slammed the door to the room in my face.