"It was ages ago, when there was a thunderstorm..." I broke off, giggling. "I was, naturally, looking after TK, who was pretty scared, him being just little. I sat up for a long, long time, telling him stories and rushing back and forth to the kitchen getting him cocoa and stuff, every time there was a peal of thunder. 'Cept it was...Tai...?"
I leaned up on my elbows and peered at his face, just as an unearthly crash of thunder made the walls shake and I yelped, moving close to Tai, wincing, trembling. Tai didn't move.
"Taichi?" I asked, feeling somewhat hurt.
"Mffmm, go 'way," was his response, and he yawned in his sleep.
Trembling still, I sat up, staring down at his peaceful face. The stupid jerk had gone to sleep on me. Obviously had gotten sick of me.
I stared at his still form for a moment, a slight pain in my throat. Then, with a disgusted snarl that would have become a sob if I wasn't careful, I stalked out of the living room and went back into Tai's bedroom, flopping down on his bed miserably.
"I hate you," I mumbled into his pillow, even though that was a complete and utter lie. I felt the tears starting to prick at my eyelids again and yelled angrily, slamming my hand into the pillow. No more crying. No more talking to Tai about how I felt. No more vulnerable little Matt. I could look after myself.
The lightening illuminated the room once more, followed by a deafening crash of thunder. I winced, miserably wishing the storm would go away...and take the storm inside my heart with it.
I rolled onto my back, and stared up at the underside of the top bunk. Unbidden, memories began flowing back to me...
"Matt..."
I turned and looked into the wide, frightened eyes of my little brother. Takeru, who we'd called TK for the entire three years of his life.
"Matt, I'm scared. Mommy and Daddy are fighting again, and Mommy's yelling so loud..." he ran to me, wrapping his tiny arms around my waist, pressing his face into my shirt. "I want them to stop...makes my head hurt..."
My trembling hands wrapped around my little brother's shoulders as I tried to keep in my tears.
"It'll be okay, TK. Mom and Dad do that sometimes..." All the time, I thought to myself bitterly.
"I wan' 'em to shtop," he lisped, looking up at me with a tear-stained face. "Matt. Kari's mommy doesn' yell at Kari's daddy at all. Ish there something wrong wif us?"
"No!" I cried out, louder than I'd intended. I felt horrified as my throat tightened and the tears filled my eyes. "Stupid! Our Mom and Dad are just..."
A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Dun cry, Matt, dun cry!!" TK cried, alarmed, wrapping his tiny arms around me. "It's okays. Mommy and Daddy will stop soon..."
I wiped it away, terribly ashamed and angry with myself that I hadn't been stronger for my little brother.
"I'm not crying, TK. I've just got something in my eye."
"We'll go tell Mommy. She'll fix it," he tugged on my hand. I shook my head, but then an enormous crash from outside shook the walls of our apartment and caused TK to loose his footing.
"Matt!"
A seasoned Tokyoan, I grabbed TK and ran for the doorframe, waiting for the earthquake to hopefully pass. But it didn't, and it didn't get any more violent than it already was.
"Matt, look!" TK cried out, pointing to my window. My eyes widened as I saw the flashes of light exploding out on the street.
"What the...?"
My brother and I scrambled to the window, heaving it open and peering out. What I saw shocked me to the very core.
Standing there, in the middle of Highton View Terrace, was two enormous beasts...one parrot-like in appearance, and the other looked like a huge dinosaur.
"KARI!!" TK screamed. "Kari's down there!!"
"What?!" I hissed, grabbing my camp binoculars from my desk and holding them up to my eyes. It was Kari...and my friend Tai, too!
"They're gonna get fried!" I hissed, leaning out the window. "We need to help them!"
"Hold on, Kari!" TK called out.
And then, the explosion...with it, a scream from my mother...
"I've had enough of this bullshit, Masaharu! I want a divorce!!"
My hold on the windowframe slipped, and I fell, down, down, down...
...hitting the floor of Taichi's room and sitting up, trembling and teary.
"Just...a dream..." I said, my voice cracking. "Just a replay..." I closed my eyes, and flashes of events bombarded my mind.
Tai, yelling, scared.
"Don't ever talk like that again, Matt!"
TK, walking away, his hand in my mother's...
"Matt...I can see you again, right?"
My father, slamming down the phone in disgust.
"Never get married, Matt. Don't be an idiot like me."
My mother, sitting on the edge of her bed and crying.
"Matt...everything was such a waste."
Gabumon, turning away with tears in his eyes.
"That's such a soothing song, Matt..."
It was me! I cause all this suffering for people! I hurt them and make them cry! I drive them away!
I knew what I had to do.
I climbed to my feet, sweating and shaking. I walked across the room, my bare feet making an almost unheard noise. My sweaty palm grasped the door handle and turned it slowly, trying not to make the slightest noise.
I glanced at the clock on the coffee table in the Yagami's living room, momentarily illuminated by a flash of lightening. One o'clock in the morning.
Tai was stretched out across the sofa still, sleeping soundly. Biting back tears, I knelt down beside the sofa, leaning over to kiss him passionately. He stirred, murmuring, but didn't wake up.
Tears slid down my cheeks and onto his serene, sleeping face. I ran my hand down his cheek, thinking of how wonderfully beautiful he looked. How he was so perfect...an angel, a heavenly being....no, something beyond that. He was so much higher above an angel...so perfect.
"Goodbye," I whispered voicelessly, letting the tears flow. I ran my hand through his silky hair, then moved away, my shoulders heaving as I gasped for air, trying desperatly to stop the sobs wracking my body.
I let myself out of the Yagami's apartment, and slipped into the elevator, pressing the button for the very top floor. I leaned against the wall of it, shaking.
So that's my life. Nothing...thought it was painful for me...never thought about how the other people might feel. Mom, hurt, Dad, angry, TK, confused, Tai, scared, Gabumon, lonely. All my fault. Yamato Ishida, congratulations! You've managed to screw up the lives of everyone around you! Selfish jerk, come on down!!
I flew out of control, pounding on the doors of the elevator.
"Hurry up!! Hurry up, I want this over, HURRY UP!!!"
The doors slid open and I tumbled out into the top floor. I saw a set of steps leading to the door to the roof top, and flew up them, tearing the door open.
The rain tore at me, soaking me and stinging my skin. The thunder rolled, and the wind threatened to blow me back into the building. I burst into hysterical tears, screaming as I sobbed, pushing forward as best I could towards the edge of the rooftop...