Disclaimer: I don't own the G-Boyz, dammit.
Warning: This fic contains Yaoi implications. In other words there are GAY people in it. So HOMOPHOBIC people stay far, far away. There is also a slight reference to Relena bashing and section where Dorothy gets bashed. So if you have no sense of humor and are really sensitive on the subject of Relena and Dorothy I suggest you get out of this fic now. And lastly, this fic is cliché. I know, I know. You were all waiting for something original from me. Well tough cookies. This is for humor purposes only. I'm not trying to win any contests. If you haven't run screaming in terror from the fic already then now's your time to do it.
The Incredible Plotless Fic—otherwise known as "Duo gets away with everything because he is so kawaii"
It's a Saturday morning and all the G-boyz are staying over at the Winner Mansion.
Matteo: Well isn't that a typical beginning.
Shut up! This is my damn fic and I can do whatever I want with it. I can put Wufei in a dress.
Wufei: Don't try it.
Oops. Sorry Wufei. You know I would never do that to you.
Wufei: suspiciously Right.
So they are all at the Winner Mansion and Heero is typing away at his laptop; working on another mission no doubt.
Heero: Ah crud! The Kwashkinorian space fortress just shot me down again. Now I'll have to start over from the first level.
Umm…let's move on. Trowa and Quatre are busy in the kitchen making breakfast and—
Matteo: Um..excuse me, but—
What is it now?
Matteo: Well, um, you can't really use Trowa and Quatre in this fic right now.
What do you mean?
Matteo: Well they are busy but um…not in the kitchen.
Oh. sighs Well let's move on then. Wufei is lounging on the couch reading a book. Suddenly, Duo runs into the room.
Duo: Good Morning everybody!
He claps Heero on the back, jarring his arm and causing him to press a key that resets his game.
Heero: Nooooo! I was going to win. Omae o korosu!
Duo: backing away Uh, I'm really sorry about that He-chan. I didn't mean to wreck your game, really. Please forgive me! gives Heero the puppy dog look Pleeeeeaaassse.
author melts Aww! Isn't that cute? Heero I refuse to let you kill that kawaii boy.
Heero: But look what he did!
Silence! I could always put you in a dress you know. Or I could bring Relena into this fic.
Heero: turns pale You wouldn't.
Oh yes I would. Unless you co-operate…
Heero: Smeg. Oh fine! Duo, I forgive you.
Duo: glomps Heero Oh thank you He-chan! I just knew you loved me.
Heero: growls I'm going to count to three. One…two…
Duo: lets go of Heero hastily I'll just go sit over by Wufei for a while.
Duo goes over to the couch and sits down next to Wufei.
Duo: Whatcha reading?
Wufei: War and Peace.
Duo: Oh. a long silence What's it about?
Wufei: blinks It's about war…and peace.
Duo: Oh. another long silence Is it good?
Wufei: puts down the book Look, I am trying to read here. Could you please go away?
Duo: pouts Don't you like me Wufei?
author melts again That's sooo cute! Be nice Wufei.
Wufei: But I just—
Wufei!
Wufei: sighs Fine.
So Wufei continues to read with Duo reading over his shoulder, asking the occasional annoying question and Heero is still playing his game when Quatre and Trowa come into the room. Quatre's hair is messed up and Trowa's shirt is on inside out. Duo jumps off the couch and runs up to the pair.
Duo: Hiyee guys! Did you sleep well? I can do a dance. Wanna see? does a weird little dance before running out of the room
Quatre: Is it just me or is he more hyper than usual this morning?
Wufei: It's just you. He's always like that.
Heero: snickers Hey Trowa, maybe you should fix your shirt before stepping out today.
Trowa: looks at his shirt and blushes Oops! I wonder how that happened?
Wufei: snorts Yeah. I wonder.
Trowa: Well, I guess I'll just have to pop back into the bedroom and fix it.
Quatre: Wait for me Trowa. I can help you.
They both disappear into a bedroom.
Heero: Was anyone surprised by that?
Wufei: goes back to reading Not me.
Duo comes racing back into the room holding a scythe.
Duo: Hey, look at me! I'm Shinigami! Hey guy, look. Lookit! Guuuys!
Duo runs around the room slicing up plants, furniture, curtains…
Heero: Quatre's not going to be pleased about this.
Wufei:….
Duo continues to slice in half anything he can find. Pictures, la/mps, tab/les, pil/lows,…Du/o, cou/ld yo/u st/op sli/cing m/y wor/ds i/n tw/o? It/'s ve/ry distra/cting.
Duo: Oops. Sorry. kawaii grin
author melts yet again Aww that's okay. You just go ahead.
Duo: beams Thanks!
So Duo continues to wreck the place while the other two pilots just ignore him until Trowa and Quatre walk back into the room. This time Trowa's hair is messed up and Quatre's shirt is on inside out.
Quatre: Wow Trowa. I didn't know you were so flexibl—WHAT THE F*** HAPPENED HERE?
Duo tries to hide the scythe behind his back and looks guiltily at Quatre.
Quatre: YOU!
Duo: Oi sorry Q-man.
Trowa, shocked by Quatre's language puts a consoling hand on his shoulder. Quatre shakes the hand off.
Quatre: You… he takes a step towards Duo
Duo: drops the scythe and takes a step back Q-man?
Quatre: takes another step You…you…I'LL KILL YOU! lunges at Duo
Duo: AHHHHHH! runs away
So Quatre chases Duo all around the mansion with Trowa behind them trying to calm his koi down while Heero and Wufei ignore them all.
Quatre: scoops up part of a broken vase and throws it at Duo YOU WRECKED MY HOUSE!
Duo: ducks under the vase But you're rich! You can buy a new house!
Quatre: THAT'S NOT THE POINT!
Duo: I'm really sorry Quatre. turns chibi Pwease forgive me.
author's eyes pop out of her head from all the kawaiiness Oh smeg. Now I can't see. Anyway Quatre, I forbid you to hurt Duo or I shall be forced to do something drastic.
Quatre: I DON'T CARE! HE WRECKED MY HOUSE! I JUST GOT IT DECORATED TO MY LIKING! moves to strangle chibi Duo
Alright, you asked for it.
Dorothy: appears out of thin air Hello Quatre! glomps onto him
Quatre: Smeg.
I warned you. But did you listen? Noooooo…
Quatre: Help me Trowa!
Trowa: tries to dislodge Dorothy from Quatre's er—Quatre Let go of him!
Dorothy: glares at Trowa You stay away! Quatre loves me! Isn't that right, sweetie?
Quarte: Heeelp!
Do you promise to be nice to Duo?
Quatre: Yes, yes! Anything!
Alright. Dorothy disappears
Quatre: Thank the kamis!
Trowa: That was scary.
Quarte: you're telling me. picks up chibi Duo Let's go back inside.
Trowa: Uh, Quatre?
Quatre: Yes Trowa?
Trowa: We are inside.
Quatre: Oh. Well then let's drop Duo off with Wufei and go back to bed, ne?
Trowa: I'm all for that.
Suddenly a huge block falls from the sky and squishes the author
Matteo: Hmm…I'm guessing that's the end of the fic?
Just…get…this…thing…off…me.
AHHH! Don't kill me! I can explain. This fic was written at midnight after 5 cans of Mountain Dew and six chocolate chip cookies. I am not responsible for my actions. Extreme hyperness is not a condition. It's a state of mind. Just like pointlessness. Ja ne! And review for krissakes!