I was dreaming that I was that Matt was kissing me. His touch was so soft, so gentle...and then it began to rain on us...water on my face.
"It's raining," my dream self said to Matt.
"Goodbye," Matt said in return. For some reason, my dream self thought this was perfectly normal, and leaned in for another kiss.
I was woken up by a clicking sound. Yawning, sat up, rubbing my eyes and looking around the still-dark apartment. I glanced into the kitchen, looking for the tell-tale flashing of the digital clock on the top of the oven that would indicate that the power was back on. Nothing.
"Mfffmgrr," I mumbled while yawning, standing up. I shook my head in an attempt to clear the groggy feeling out of my brain. It took my mind a minute to register that I had fallen asleep with Matt on my chest; where was he now?
"Matt?" I called, yawning. All I heard in response was the howling of the window and the slow whirr of the elevator as it went up past our apartment. What idiot would leave the building at this time of night?
I looked in my room...nothing. The covers of the bed were disturbed, but I shrugged that off. Yawning hugely again, I padded outside into the hall and poked my head into the bathroom.
"Matt?"
Again, nothing but the howling of the wind.
A sinking feeling crept into the pit of my stomach and I felt my mind jerk and my palms dampen. I ran around the apartment, throwing open doors and stumbling in the darkness.
"Matt?! Matt, this isn't funny...Matt? Matt?! YAMATO!?!"
It hit me again. Fear. Fear, racing through my blood, from so long ago...
As I watched Kari taken away in the ambulance...
"I'm sorry I can't kick the ball good..."
As I watched Agumon transform into SkullGreymon...
"I'm sorry, Tai, I don't know what happened..."
As Matt made the threats against his life...
"...sorry..."
No...stop it, every time you apologise I get scared...stop it, please!!
I raised my hand to my cheek, and was shocked to find water running down my face. This was...this was...this was a tear, and yet it wasn't. As I stared at the liquid on the tips of my fingers, it began to sparkle, providing me with light. I gasped, trying to shake the glowing tears off my fingers.
The wetness combined into one drop, spherical and still glowing. Then, suddenly, it seemed to...explode. A great flash of silvery light, tinted with reds, blues, greens...every colour of the rainbow.
"Wha...?" I whispered, and moved to touch it. It sparkled brightly, then moved just out of my reach. I moved forward, it moved further away.
I...have to follow it! It can show me where Matt is!
I followed the sphere of light as it lead me to the door of the apartment, which was ajar...
"Oh, shit," I whispered, clenching a fist. "Please don't tell me he's run away again...how the hell will I be able to find him..."
The glowing orb of light passed straight through the door. I snarled, throwing the door open and running out after it.
"Hey!" I screamed at it, and added a few adjectives after that. "Stop it! Show me where he is!!"
It flew down the hallway and into the elevator. I ran after it, feeling the sweat trail down my face. I looked around the darkened box for the light, but it was gone.
"Shit," I repeated, feeling the angry tears return to my eyes. "Now what?!"
The button for the rooftop lit up, and the elevator jerked into motion. I was thrown slightly and fell backwards, off balance.
The ascent was agonisingly slow, but it gave me a few moments to think.
"What the hell would Matt be doing on the rooftop?" I muttered to myself. "It's bucketing down out there and he was never too fond of heights...heights..."
The colour drained from my face. My stomach turned to a block of ice, and I began shaking hysterically.
"No..."
The world swirled before my eyes.
"...jump off the Rainbow Bridge or something..."
And the adrenaline hit my veins, I leapt to my feet, and pounded at the elevator door.
"LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT!! HURRY UP, HURRY UP, MAAAAAAAAATT!! MATT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!!"
I was screaming and hysterically and the sobs were tearing out of my body. The words tumbled over each other in an attempt to escape my lips, and they mingled with the tears streaming down my face in fiercely hot trails. And somewhere, beneath all this madness, I finally, truly knew how Matt felt. Not understood -- I probably never would -- but I finally felt what he felt.
The doors opened slowly, and I threw myself through them, jarring my shoulder. I bolted up the stair that lead to the rooftop and was immeadiately hit in the face with wind and rain -- and it stung.
"MATT!!"
I saw my beloved, saturated and crying, walking towards the edge of the rooftop.
"MATT, NO!!"
He turned, and painfully slowly, I thrust my hand out. The world seemed to go into slow-motion. The lightning seared the sky, the thunder rolled, and I felt a surge of energy fly through my arm. The winds blew harder, and Matt fell backwards, away from that ledge, towards me. The world was released from it's thick liquid motion, and I shot towards him, cradling him close to me, feeling him melt into my arms.
"Matt...why?" The whisper was hoarse, toneless...yet desperate and broken.
"Everything in the world is my fault," he whispered, cringing against me.
The wind howled, the thunder crashed. Even in this storm, the cars sped along the streets of Odaiba, late night traffic. The rain continued. And yet everything changed.
What little comfort I held in our relationship dissipated, melted like salt in the wind. As he trembled, lying in my arms, I felt everything within me...my soul...slip away from me, like sands through my fingers.
I began to cry.