A/N: This story came out of too much caffine, too much Harry Potter, and too much dreaming about two of my friends serenading me to the tune of U2. I have an unhealthy obsession with all three of these things. I got it in my head that it would be funny to have Ron and Harry singing along to my favorite band in the whole wide world, U2. It's nothing more than a vignette, taking place during Harry and Ron's seventh year, making them both seventeen years old. I don't have a beta reader (*ducks rotten tomatoes* Sorry!), so if you find any mistakes, whether they be grammer/puntuation, canon, or mispellings (I'm awful at spelling...), please tell me. I may or may not write more, and I hate to say this, but it kinda depends on what people think of this. I know, I hate it when people are like, "Please please PLEASE r/r because if you don't I'll die and won't write any more and then you'll be sorry!!!!!!!!!!", so I'm trying as hard as I can not to do that. Not like I can really make this into a novel...Well, I guess I could, but it probably wouldn't have a plot and would end up with Voldemort popping up and being defeated AGAIN by the Terrific Three. Damnit, does that man/wizard/thing know when to quit? And I'm rambling. Sorry. Continue on to the (*drumroll*) Disclaimer! (*gasp, hush of whispers*)
Disclaimer: All characters used here (Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Lavender Brown, and Parvati Patil) belong to the goddess that is J.K. Rowling. Well, all of them except for Bono and the Edge, who belong to themselves, respectively (they should belong to me...*grumble grumble*). The songs used in this short story are also property of U2 and are, in order: Desire, Pride (In The Name Of Love), and All Along the Watchtower (originally written by Bob Dylan but covered by U2). They can all be found on Rattle and Hum, which you all should go out and buy right now. I don't think this will offend anyone, except maybe those people who don't like Bono (*lightning flash* Damn you all!). All reviews, good and bad, are welcomed (they'll be given a nice room in the guest house and served tea on alternate Tuesdays. Well, the bad ones might be shut up in the attic, but it does have a nice view!).
Harry opened the door to the seventh-years' dormitory and was hit with a blast of loud music. It seemed to be coming from a record player set in the center of the room.
"Lover, I'm off the streets…Gonna go where the bright lights and the big city meet…with a red guitar on fire…Desiiiiire! Desiiiiire!"
Harry couldn't believe his eyes. There, in the center of the room, wearing a black Muggle t-shirt and ripped jeans and holding his wand like a microphone, was Ron, his red hair flipping from side to side as he sang along with the lyrics of the song. His back was to the door.
"She's the candle burning in my room…I'm like the needle, needle and spoon…Over the counter with a shotgun…Pretty soon, everybody's got one…And the fever, when I'm beside her…Desiiiiire! Desiiiiire!" Ron turned around to see a very amused Harry standing in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe and trying very hard not to burst into laughter. He immediately stopped singing and stood stock still, no longer bopping to the music still playing full blast.
"Harry…" he said, trailing off a bit as his face turned the same shade of shocking red as his hair, making his freckles all but disappear. "I thought you had that meeting with Professor McGonagall this afternoon…" He looked up sheepishly. Harry grinned.
"We got done early. I had no idea you liked Muggle music, Ron," he said, stepping into the room. Ron looked a little confused.
"This isn't Muggle music," he said, frowning. Harry nodded, reaching for the album sleeve as he sat down on the floor beside the record player.
" 'Course it is," Harry replied. "This is U2, an Irish Muggle band. I used to hear them all the time on the radio back at the Dursleys'. I like them." The upbeat song "Desire" had ended, and a slower song, which the album sleeve revealed to be entitled "Hawkmoon 269" was now playing. Harry found himself moving unconsciously to the beat, swaying side to side and mouthing along to the lyrics. When he looked up, Ron was staring at him amusedly, with the same expression that he knew he had been wearing himself when he had surprised his best friend in the midst of a private concert.
"Harry, look at the cover," he said, holding it up for him to see. The two figures on the cardboard cover, one playing a guitar and the other holding a hand-held spotlight on him, seemed motionless, until Harry leaned closer. Then, with a mischievous grin, the figure holding the spotlight shone it directly in Harry's eyes, making him protest and shield them from the unnatural brightness of it. The two figures cackled silently and then resumed their original positions, but not without a wink to Harry before they posed motionless again.
Harry stared at the picture for a minute more, his mouth gaping. Ron grinned, setting it down with a triumphant nod of his head. "Told you it wasn't Muggle music," he said, folding his arms in the same gesture that he used after he had crushed Hermione in chess. "Seamus lent the album and the player to me. The player's a Muggle device adapted to run on magic, so it's really easy to work. I guess his mother knows some of the people in the band - they're famous in the Muggle world as well as the wizarding world. Of course, the Muggles don't know that they're wizards…but really, how could you not suspect them, at least? The way some of their tour sets have been…you couldn't even think about doing some of that stuff without magic. They had to get a special license to grow that Giant Reflect-a-Lemon. Those things aren't found in my mother's garden, that's for sure." Ron shook his head, and then turned back to the record player. Flipping over the record, he moved the needle to another spot. As a loud guitar and drum beat blared out of the speakers, he turned to Harry with a grin.
"Shall we rock and roll?" he said, and Harry returned his grin. They both stood up and with nods to each other, pulled out their wands. Harry pulled off his robes, revealing a pair of jeans similar to Ron's and a white t-shirt emblazoned with the words "Rock Forever." Ron mimed playing a guitar on his while Harry took over the lead vocals, belting them out as loud as he could.
"In the name of love, what more in the name of love! In the name of love, what more in the name of love!" There was a noise from the doorway. They both turned around, still singing and playing their imaginary instruments, and froze.
Harry had forgotten to shut the door. Now standing in the doorway, collapsed against each other from holding in their laughter, were Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, and Hermione Granger. Lavender was laughing so hard she couldn't breath, and was gasping between giggles, holding her abdomen with her hands. Parvati was covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes closed as she shook with mirth, tears streaming down her cheeks from holding her laughter in. Hermione was simply staring at the two thoroughly embarrassed seventeen-year-olds, her eyes wide. She was grinning ear to ear.
"Should I scream, cry, or simply beg to have your illegitimate child?" she asked, and before either Harry or Ron could answer her she was collapsed on the bedroom floor, joining her friends in a fit of uncontrollable giggles. When they had recovered, all three girls stood up, wiping their teary eyes on their robes. With a last look at the two boys, they started laughing again, and without another word to either of them, started down the spiral staircase, their laughter echoing all through the tower.
Harry and Ron looked at each other. Wordlessly, Harry closed the dorm door and locked it securely, while Ron set the record to play on another song. With matching grins, they began singing again.
" 'There must be some way out of here,' said the joker to the thief. 'There's just too much confusion here, I can't get no relief…' " What they didn't hear were the three pairs of footsteps quickly and quietly ascending the stairs to their dorm, or the three identical sighs heaved directly outside their door.
"I never knew Harry could dance," Parvati whispered as they pressed their ears to the door so they could hear the two boys singing.
"I never knew Ron could sing," Lavender replied quietly. "What do you think, Hermione?"
Hermione grinned. "I never knew that they both looked so good in those jeans...Rrwar…" This caused another fit of giggles.
Inside, the music stopped. "Did you hear something?" Harry asked, and Ron shrugged, turning the music back on.
"Probably mice."
Outside, the three girls made the same mental note to buy the new U2 album the next time they went to Hogsmeade. The more conveniently placed rock music around the Gryffindor common room, the better.