I Thought Of You

by Christina5

The Gundam Wing Boys have aged and they sit around telling stories. At first light hearted the stories take a deeper turn until the characters make today their final day. Nonyaoi

I Thought of You

By: Chichi and Rachelle

Notes: Nonyaoi, meaning characters are paired as follows: 1/R, 2/H, 3/A (inserted character), 4/A, 5/S. Humor, Agnst, Death.


Groaning, Duo rolled over gingerly onto his stomach as he closed his eyes. Mornings were the hardest...the aches in the knees and back almost killed him..."Gawd..." he moaned in irritation as he wished he still had his old knees and back, back when springing out of the bed and careening into Heero's room in a mess of loudness had become a habit. Now he was lucky if he could make it to Heero's room without the loudness of his curses. "I will not use a wheelchair..." he told himself, trying to convince the knowing mind. Finally he let an eye open as he threw his legs over the side of the bed..."Too fast...too fast" he moaned as he caught his reflection in the mirror across the room.

"Time sure does fly...even for the God of Death...Hmm...."

"God of death~ Ha! Try the GHOST of death!" Heero commented as he peeled an orange slowly, as Duo slowly made his way towards the table. "Didn't the nurse help you out today?" Heero asked.

"I am the god of death...!" Duo snapped, not appreciative of his friends comment, "...no.. The God of death does not NEED help!"

Heero looked up at his long time friend and just shrugged, the long years of battle and blood finally wearing off so he could take something "lightly".

"I do not need to be put in here! I am quite able!" a voice came from the foyer as Heero and Duo's head snapped at the familiar sound.

"What are you doing! I am a man! Woman take your hands off of me!" Wufei exclaimed outraged. His once dark hair, now gray, his once bright eyes encompassed in wrinkles.

"Take me back to China right now! You...Woman in the white jacket. Take me back! now!" he demanded, trying to look menacing, but the patient smile of the nurse just drove him madder, "Do you not understand me! Get me someone with half a brain! NOW woman! I'll do it myself, you don't understand do you!" Attempting to stomp off Wufei stopped in mid stride at the old familiar smirk.
"Heero...?"

"Hn." Heero replied. Wufei is too old to be still ranting about this stuff, he thought.

"He-hello." Quatre rasped joining the foursome at the table. "How-how are you all to-today?"

"I'm a god! A god I tell you!" Duo yelled at Quatre.

"I see that." Quatre replied thoroughly confused. "I'm not the one losing my mind woman! Look at the baka over there! Pretending he's a god, and doesn't even know he's talking to Quatre!" Wufei still screaming at the nurse also tried to get away but to no avail as his muscles had all but vanished.

"Why, why if I still had my hair," Duo seethed as an old man can. His baldhead gleamed in the light. "You're lucky I have that-that gene," Pausing for a while, "What ever it's called that makes my hair fall out."

"And you're lucky you don't have a mental disorder." Trowa approached the table, "Is there as seat for me?"

Ever the gentleman, even in old age, Heero thought. "Sure sit here." He gestured to the chair next to him.

Trowa almost sat down but was stopped by the ill rasping of none other than Duo, which was supposed to be a scream but came out as a slight cough.

"Don't sit there! Quatre's sitting there!"

"Duo, I-I'm over here." Quatre tapped Duo on the shoulder. "Don't worry about me old pal. Trowa knows if he's sitting on me or not."

"Trowa's here?" Duo asked in surprise.

"Anyway" Wufei said quite loudly which surprised the whole table if not the whole room.

"Shh" Heero said. "We do not want to draw attention to ourselves."

"Don't tell me" The nurse giggled, drawing all attention to herself. "Playing make believe again?"

"No!" Heero said indignantly. "We were assigned a mission to infiltrate this building until we die."

"By who?" The nurse couldn't stop cracking up. "The dead doctors?"

"Now who's delirious eh?" Duo's voice piped up.

"Why if I had- still had my spandeeeex" Heero's voice cracked from going too high.

"What if you still had it?"

"I would take out my gun and shoot you" Losing the train of thought Heero started to look around the room.

Duo, however, cracked up. "Hey remember when we managed to get it off him?"

"You did NO such thing. . . A soldier NEVER gives up his gun!" Heero exclaimed...he had begun to show emotion in his old age...

"I said when we managed to get it off you...IMPLYING...um...what was I implying?" Duo asked scratching his head looking to Trowa for help. Trowa had grown old as well, but he was probably one of the sharpest of the five.

"I DO NOT BELONG HERE" Wufei howled in anger, "This is retarded...Where is Sally? SALLY! WOMAN STOP PLAYING...GET ME OUT." he hollered in anger.

The four other faces of the pilots dropped...Sally had contracted a fatal disease years before, and had passed away.

Realizing this after he said Wufei's face fell for a moment, but it was quickly up again, "Baka...get away from me woman...I can SIT MYSELF DOWN!" he snapped grabbing a chair and sitting down.

Quatre turned his blue eyes towards him in sympathy...

"Don't look at me like that you-you-weakling. I wasn't the one who LOST MY GUN!"

***

"Did you get it?" Duo whispered as he ruffled through Trowa's closet. Even though Heero was in the next room with the door shut, Duo had a doomed feeling about the prank they were about to play...

"Why are you whispering?" Wufei demanded as he produced the gun, "Of course I got it." he said annoyed that Duo even had to ask.

"Hello I don't want to be AROUND when HEERO wakes up and finds his pride and joy missing..." he laughed at the thought, "The soon to be murder evidence in the death of Relena Peacecraft."

Wufei glanced at him, "That boy is never going to kill that annoying blonde girl. I have never met such an annoying woman in my life... peace this...peace that... " Wufei snorted as a bright smile slid across Duo's face, "JACKPOT" he said pulling out Trowa's clown costume.

"I hope ol' Trowa boy won't mind us borrowing this..."

~

"DUO...WUFEI... over here!" a voice called to them as they both sweatdropped at the loud voice. They had just closed Trowa's door to find Quatre waving at them, "Is Trowa in there?" He called again down the hall.

"Ah that baka better shut up! He'll wake Heero!" Wufei hissed as he took off in a mad dash for Quatre whose eyes widened at the incoming Gundam pilot. Duo stared after them, but quickly his attention was diverted as Heero's door flung wide open, at that moment, he was the one who resembled the God of Death.

"Oh Shit" Duo screeched as he took off after Wufei.

"WHERE IS MY GUN" Heero hollered, his eyes steel as he saw the three off in the distance...

"DUO! WUFEI! QUATRE!" he yelled again as he then took off after them.

Duo grabbed Quatre's hand as Wufei ran past Quatre..."COME ON LETS GO"

"But...but I didn't do anything!" The blonde exclaimed, "Duo...duo what's going on?" he asked as he caught up to Duo's pace.

Quatre looked frantically around. What did Duo do now? And how did he manage to suck Wufei in too? Great now I'm part of it, Quatre realized as a frantic Trowa wait. Trowa? Quatre took a double look.

"You BAKAS! OMAE O KORUSU!" Heero shouted down the hall.

"Yeah right! Find your gun first clown boy!" Wufei shouted down the hall. This was payback.

Heero started to run after the three down the hall but to no avail. He fell over. "Trowa!" Heero screamed in frustration and agony. "How do you walk in these things?"

Trowa sleepily came to the door. "Uhhhuhhhack," He sounded. "What are you doing in my costume?" Trowa kneeled down and frantically tried to peel it off. "Look you broke it here and here," He said pointing to various spots.

"Notfault." Heero replied glaring at the empty spot down the hall. "Those baka's are going to paydearly."

"Catherine's going to pay. Look at this knife scratch! I never noticed it but the knife struck me! And I thought I was safe in her hands" Trowa muttered shaking his head.

"Trowa go get my outfit. I'm going in." Heero announced.

A few minutes later Trowa came back. Empty handed. "Not there."

"They took my spandex too? What am I supposed to wear?" Heero asked bewilderedly.

"Here." Trowa tossed some garments at him. (which looked a bit like spandex, after all they are Trowa's jeans..)

Much later (when Heero finally managed to get out of the costume and Trowa finally managed to get over the costume) the two went hunting once again

***

The four boys were chuckling at the matter while Heero just did his best at his death glare. "That never happened." Heero said but sounded less convinced than before.

"Right, right. I remember now." Quatre said. "You two barged in on us in my bedroom and" He lost the trail of thought.

"You were so mad." Duo reveled in the memory. It had been one of his best pranks ever. "You took the gun and shot us over and over even though you knew that there were no bullets!"

Trowa snorted as he too remembered this. "Do you still remember where the secret space was that Heero put his gun?"

"Of course." Wufei said. He had somehow managed to get the annoying nurse away for a while so he could eat his breakfast in peace.

"Never happened, never happened." Heero muttered in denial, much like the way he muttered omae o korosu when he was younger

"How did you get Wufei to participate in that?" Quatre asked. "I've been meaning to ask you that for so long now but the opportunity never came up. Heero was always around."

Duo froze thinking about the question, "I sorta remember that he just joined in when I said that I was going to do that"

"It was pay back to Heero."

"Why what'd he ever do to you?" Quatre asked.

Wufie turned to Quatre, "You don't REMEMBER?" he demanded.

"Um...er...no?" Quatre said helpless.

"I remember..." Trowa said a smile playing on his lips... "I can't remember what night it was but it was after one of the battles...and well...the alcohol and-"

Wufei sent a look of scorn towards Trowa, " Now the boy can talk" he snorted cutting him off.

In an instant Duo's face lit up and Heero's face went down on the table with a thump, "this is ridiculous," he mumbled.

"HEY I REMEMBER!" Duo exclaimed, "How could I forget?"

***

"How could you have forgotten!" Trowa hissed at Duo as they watched Heero bouncing off the walls in Hilde's apartment.

It was the night before Trowa's 21st birthday, and Duo thought it would be a good idea to get drunk one last time before Trowa was actually "legal."

Trowa could hear Duo's rant echoing in his ear, "Come on Tro boy! It'll be fun...Drinking isn't as fun anymore when you are actually LEGAL"

"How did I let him get me into this... " Trowa thought as he once again turned his attention, "I said LEAVE THE PUNCH ALONE. Heero can't handle alcohol very well... how could you have forgotten THAT?" Trowa asked as Heero knocked over a glass.

Heero's not to often seen smile turned to Trowa, "Opps sorry 'bout that Tro." he said sheepishly as Heero's eyes latched onto Wufei.

"WWWWUUUUUFFFFFFFYYYYYY" He exclaimed! Wufei's eyes brightened in alert, "keep the drunk away from me!" he exclaimed as Quatre just stared at the two...a worried expression on his face, "Uh Trowa? I think that this...well um..." he said trying to tell Trowa that he thought they should send everyone home. Trowa nodded, "Yea. Duo" Trowa insisted with a warning look, "Take Heero home"

Duo threw up his hands, "ME! Why me?" he wailed falling onto the couch.

"WHY? THIS WAS YOUR IDEA!" Quatre and Trowa yelled at the same time.

Wufei glared and gave in. "You weaklings...I will take Heero home."

"I don't need help." Heero drawled, as Wufei dragged him to the car.

"Yes you do." Wufei said.

"Hey- what happened? Wufei how did you manage to make two of yourself?"

"You're obviously drunk, and after only five cans" Wufei muttered. "Are you serious you never drank before you met Duo I mean us?"

"I drank. I drink water and soda and milk and juice and other yummy drinks."

"Really." Wufei tossed Heero into the car making sure he was strapped in.

Driving over to Heero's place was a disaster. How impossible that the perfect soldier can come to this, Wufei thought the whole way home, he actually smiled for longer than a couple seconds! In fact he's smiled this whole time! From the back Wufei thought he heard "mission accepted" but couldn't be sure

"Oh oh stop!" Heero shouted disrupting Wufei's concentration on the road. "I want to visit Relena!"

"Not now Heero!" Wufei shouted angrily back. "You're in no condition to go to her house."

Several minutes later found Wufei driving down the road with Heero finally quite.

"Here stop here!" Heero said.

"This is not her house." Wufei stated.

But Heero was already out the door.

"Wait up! Don't go in there!"

"Relena!" Heero shouted around the house. It was light up but seemed rundown. A building that would definitely not have the queen of the world in it. Heero disappeared inside leaving Wufei with no choice but to follow.

"Heero! Stop it!" Wufei ran screaming after Heero as he went through another door.

"Hi baby." Wufei froze, meeting the woman who greeted him at the door. "Welcome to my whore house."

"Uh. Uh." Wufei stuttered.

"Oh I got to go to the bathroom!" Heero said crazily, bouncing back out of the room. He closed the door behind him.

Click.

Wufei turned frantically tugging at the knob. "Open it up Heero!"

"I cant I'm in the bathroom!" Heero said. "I'm using it and you can't come in!"

In horror Wufei turned to greet the girls. "I guess we're locked in here for the night." Said another female.

"Onna onna stay back" Wufei said.

"Are you sure?" a redhead asked approaching Wufei.

"Are you questioning me Woman?" He exclaimed, "This is not an HONORABLE profession. Get some clothes on" he insisted crossing his arms.

"HEERO" he exclaimed as he knocked on the door again.

This time no answer.

"Heero?" he called again.

"I think your friend might have passed out...too bad... he might have been fun" the redhead smiled seductively at Wufei, "but..."

"No. NO I want OUT NOW," he said as he reached for his katana.

***

Heero groaned, "That never happened. And besides Duo, that was stupid."

"Hey man, I thought that...God that was a long time ago... " Duo began losing his train of thought again.

"So Wufei...What happened?"

"WHAT HAPPENED? Nothing happened! Nothing at all! ..." Wufei exclaimed staring at Duo.

"Whoa Whoa ssssoooorrrriiiieee!"

"Those were years ago...things sure have changed..." Trowa mumbled as he stirred his orange juice absently.

"I have NOT changed. I am still a MAN!" Wufei insisted.

"AN OLD MAN" Duo laughed, but quickly quieted down as Wufei reached for his katana.

"You STILL carry that around?" Quatre asked in disbelief, "surely we are at a time of peace...there is no need for that."

"Peace this...and peace that! You almost sound like Relena" Wufei snapped.

"That sure did get annoying...Hey Heero did you and Relena ever...ya know?" Duo asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

Hitting Duo in the back of the head, Heero only glared at him, unsuccessfully.

"That's none of your business..." Heero snapped.

"Well I don't think so... cause I remember finding Relena in a compromising situation with Quatre..." Trowa began...a smile playing on his lips.

"Tttrrrooooowwwaaa" Quatre exclaimed, his eyes big, "Oh no...! It isn't as it sounds...!"

"This might actually prove to be interesting, Go on Trowa" Wufei encouraged.

"What? Wait! When did this happen?" Heero demanded snapping out of his sulk.

"Uh...er...It's getting hot in here. I think its time for my nap... "Quatre said fanning his face from embarrassment, "Really...Heero..."

***

"I just don't understand!" Relena moaned, her composure completely gone as she stared at Quatre. Quatre had come to ask Relena to join him, Trowa, Duo and Heero for dinner, but had found her in a disheveled state.

"Don't understand what?" Quatre asked as he took a seat next to her.

"Look at me," she demanded grabbing his face and turning it towards her.

Surprised Quatre didn't protest but just complied.

"Am I UGLY?" she whimpered, "Tell me the truth!"

"Allah, why would you think that?" he asked.

"Because...Just tell me! Am I beautiful? I mean you are beautiful Quatre, and beautiful people know other beautiful people so am I?"

"Uh...I have never seen you act this way before Relena."

"Quatre tell me!" she wailed.

"Is this about Heero?" he asked feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"No No. AM I? " She demanded standing up and facing him.

"Uh...Did you have anything to drink?" he asked.

"QUATRE" she hollered.

Sighing Quatre looked down at his hands.

"Quatre?" she asked, quieting down.

"Miss Relena...I do believe you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met." he said honestly, blush deepening his cheeks.

***

"YOU TOLD RELENA THAT!" Heero yelled at Quatre, surprised Quatre didn't realize that he had been reliving the memory aloud.

"Oh Oh. . .Heero I can EXPLAIN!" Quatre began in a feeble attempt to spring up; he just managed to fall down.

"Quatre are you all right?" Trowa asked as he offered him his hand.

"Don't kill him yet Heero! I want to know what happens" Duo exclaimed grabbing his friends arm to keep him sitting down.

"Yea...I agree." Wufei said nodding.

Quatre blushed a deeper scarlet, "No. I don't think Miss Relena would appreciate me telling this." he began but the look of the other four pilots told him that was not the correct answer.

"Ah..."

***

"You do Quatre? Really?" she asked sitting down next to him.

"Well yes I do...but I mean..."

"Oh Quatre! Now that I know I'm beautiful, I can go after Heero again! Help me plot." Relena pulled out a pen and paper. "Now what kind of stuff does Heero do now a days with the war over and all?"

"Relenado you I mean are you well"

Relena stopped jabbering. "What?"

"It's just that I want to ask you if you would like to go on a date someday." Quatre blurted.

***

"WHAT?" Heero screamed, as loud as he possibly could (which wasn't very loud) "And the girl never told me?"

"Women" Wufei shook his head, causing his pony tail to release some of the strands of hair. "And I couldn't believe you got sucked in when Relena asked you out!"

"Wufei you're pony tail is coming undone." Quatre pointed out.

"Don't stop there and try to change the subject." Duo insisted.

***

"Oh you want to go on a date?" Relena asked.

"Well hehe yeah."

"Sorry I'm a little booked up! See the next couple weeks I have meetings as the representative and the off time I have chasing Heero. So if you could wait a bit?"

"Oh. Uh. Well. Nevermind." Quatre said taking his words back.

"Okay."

***

"At least SHE stayed loyal." Heero said, standing up depending heavily upon his cane Heero limped over to Quatre.

"I CAN EXPLAIN!" Quatre said frantically.

Heero paused a moment to allow Quatre this simple pleasure.

"I was only testing if she was really your type or not. See Heero all in your best interests."

"My best interests?" Heero asked confusedly. Apparently he had forgotten what he was doing once again.

"How many times does that make?" Wufei whispered.

"I think that was just his 14th." Trowa replied.

Heero sat down again. "I'm too old to be doing that now." He muttered to himself. "Must continue with the mission and forget all else."

"Bah." Duo spat. "The doctors dies long ago. Remember?"

"They still live!" Heero said.

"Right. That's why we went to their funeral." Trowa said sarcastically.

"Trowa I think you are the one confused..." Heero muttered.

"I agree." Duo said vaguely cross.

"I am not confused, "Trowa said his eyes narrowed, "I am the only one left in here with their sanity" he pointed out.

"No you're not. I am SANE" Wufei objected.

"Wait I thought you said that you walked in on them? In a compromising position as you put it" Duo exclaimed, "I thought we were going to get some real entertainment.

"I did walk in on them...Quatre downplayed the whole thing. As I remember he didn't take it all THAT well!" Trowa pointed out.

"Tro-" Quatre began but was quickly quieted by the nurse coming back in.

"Wufei" she began as she handed him a cup of water, "Its time for your meds now"

"I DO NOT NEED MEDS" Wufei exclaimed jumping up too fast for his body to balance~ he toppled over with a thud.

Duo covered his mouth to control his laughing, "The Great Chang Wufei...is on his ass"

"Sally...Sally!" Wufei called, "Help me up!" he exclaimed.

The nurse sighed and pulled him up.

"Thank you Sally." he said as he turned to see the nurse, "You're NOT sally! Where is Sally!" Wufei demanded.

"Uh sir..." she began but he threw his hands off and went down the hall calling for her.

Quatre watched after them..." You know it's only been three years...of course he is having a hard time adjusting."

"Yea we all did " Duo mumbled trailing off in a stream of conscience..."they were so good together..."

***

"Woman why are we here?" Wufei demanded as Sally pulled him into the house Duo shared with Hilde.

"To visit Wufei...its what friends do." she said pointedly as Wufei crossed his arms, "I never said Duo was any friend of mine...and that brat he married is almost just as annoying."

Sighing Sally shrugged.

Hilde answered the door, "Wufei! Sally! Hi. Come on in! Duo is inside. . Er...occupied?"

"He is playing that stupid video game again, isn't he?" Wufei demanded.

Hilde hid a smile and nodded, "He is."

"Where is he? I'll show him how much better I am than he is." Wufei demanded. Sally and Hilde giggled and showed Wufei the way.

"So how is it." Hilde said softly once Wufei was out of hearing range.

"The doctors say it's curable."

"But then again"

"We know the doctors always say that." Sally and Hilde laughed a bit for talking about something so serious.

"Sally what did they say the percent was?"

"It's a 50-50 chance."

"So that's pretty good ne?"

"I guess so." Sally sighed.

"But then again"

"The doctors always say that too." The two laughed again.

"What are you two talking about in there?" Duo called.

"Oh nothing just gossiping!" Hilde called back.

A disapproving voice was heard floating by. "Women"

"So when are you going to tell Wufei?" Hilde asked.

"I-I don't know. It's just that he's wanted children I can tell but I'm afraid that I won't be able to help him with any."

"That's no excuse Sally. Hiding it is much harder on the poor man. Their getting old you know." Hilde said.

"I know" sighing Sally broke away. It was just all too soon and all too much to handle.

"Ah ha! So the great Chang Wufei was beaten by the God of Death!" Duo cried out jumping up from their position on the floor as he began a "victory" dance.

"Baka..." Wufei snarled as he jumped up, " You didn't defeat me." he stated calmly.

"WHAT?" Duo exclaimed. Sweatdrop.

"No. The control panel couldn't keep up with me."

Falling onto the floor Duo hit his forehead, "Ahhh"

~

"Come Sally we are leaving" Wufei said as he walked towards the door.

Sally looked away from Hilde, hiding her worry.

But Wufei caught it.

"Sally come."

Before she could say anything Duo came careening from the living room hollering, "I did so win! I SOOO WIN! Come on Wufei! Rematch! Rematch!"

Wufei snorted and stared at his fellow pilot, "This ranting idiot believes he won."

"I DID too!" Duo said with a pout.

"Uh maybe it is time we go...I'll call you Hilde" Sally said allowing Wufei to lead her out of the house.




"Wufei..." Sally began slowly as her eyes were glazed over by the lights of the city. "What?" he asked his tone not irritated or harsh for a change.

"I have something to tell you..." looking down at her hands she tried to control the tears.

"Tell me?" he questioned not liking where this was going he glanced over her to see her near tears and realized that something was really wrong.

"Wufei...I...I" she stumbled through her own words as she looked out the window again, resting her forehead against the cool glass she sighed, "Wufei...Something is wrong with me." Wufei snorted, his heart churned, but he wouldn't show it, "Onna I could have told you that!"

"NO Wufei...something...I'm ill...I think...I might...I could die." the last part barely came out as a whisper.

"Die?" he echoed pulling the car over and stopping it.

"Yea...The doctor told me a few days ago...and well~ I mean its curable Wufei! And I am a fighter!" she began ranting, trying to say anything that could comfort him...or maybe comfort her.

Wufei stared long and hard at the only woman he ever let inside him, she loved him for who he was, arrogance and all, and what had he done in return? Not loved her enough.

"Oh Onna..." he whispered saying it for the first time in tenderness as he pulled her nearer to him and held her, "I will fight with you. If I can save a world, I will save you."

"Wufei..." she said crying quietly into his shoulder, "I don't want to be saved by you, just loved." she said turning her tear stained face to his eyes, "just love me."

***

"Well there is no sense in mourning over what can't be changed." Heero said quietly.

"I agree..." Trowa said quietly as he pulled his old body up..."You know we are going to die soon..."

Duo glanced at Trowa...mourning in his eyes, "The God of death doesn't die..." he mumbled.

"SHUT UP DUO" Heero, Trowa, Quatre hollered.

Sighing he looked at the three, "I didn't want to die young. But I don't want to die like this. In a nursing home...without my ol' buddy...and without my Hilde... my beautiful beautiful Hilde..."

***

"Hilde you're not leaving." Duo screeched as she rushed around their bedroom throwing things into a bag, "The hell I'm not Duo Maxwell! I am TIRED, TIRED of waiting for you to ...to do something!" she hollered at him as she reached for her bag.

Duo looked at her, "Hilde if you leave..."he said his voice low.

She turned to stare at him, "If I leave what?" she snapped.

Didn't he love me enough, she thought.

"If you leave now...You'll never understand how much I love you..."

"Fine tell me how much you love me now." Hilde demanded. "You and your big mouth Duo Maxwell. I'm not sure if I should believe you anyway."

"I-I Hilde, I was waiting for the right moment!" Duo stuttered in surprise. Things weren't supposed to happen this way, he thought.

"I'm tired of waiting for you all the time. I've other things to get to in my life and if this isn't the right moment then there will never be one." Hilde continued to toss things into the bag. Her hope had flared but Duo quickly crushed it.

"I'm not ready to tell you!" Duo exclaimed.

I wasn't going to really leave but it seems like I have to, Hilde thought. After talking with Sally I realize that life's too short to be waiting around like this. I've got my own dreams "You're more stubborn than Wufei, Duo." Hilde stormed to the door.

"Wait!" Duo rushed over to Hilde grabbing her by the arm. "Please, just wait."

"I'm giving you one minute," Hilde said, glancing at her watch.

"Look" Duo muttered in embarrassment. He's embarrassed, Hilde noted. If he's embarrassed after all these years "I love you Hilde. I don't know how else to show it! Hilde what did I do wrong?" Duo pleaded with a look in his eyes of pure hopelessness.

"How else to show it" Hilde repeated thoughtfully. "You didn't show it enough that's what." She jerked her hand out of Duo's grasp and headed out the door. With out glancing back she yelled, "I'll send you an address to ship my other stuff to. Don't touch it." She never looked back again. And because of this Duo missed the tears of sadness that Hilde left streaming down her cheek, to permanently mark her soul with.

***

"What happened to Hilde?" Quatre asked softly.

"I-I wish I knew" Duo trailed off. Lost in his own thought Duo once again replayed the scene in his mind, differently so Hilde would stay. The only problem was that this was fantasy and reality was much different. "But I still am a god."

"I wish he would get over himself." Wufei muttered.

"You should too." Heero remarked.

Wufei looked at Heero indignantly. "And you aren't too full of yourself too?" He asked questioning.

"I got over myself long ago."

***

"Heero! Please stop and listen to me!" Relena called.

She's after me again, Heero thought. How many times do I have to tell her that I'm not the one for her? How many times does she have to keep coming after me? How many times do I have to look back?

He didn't stop. He kept walking.

Relena leaned against the wall, her chest heaving, her heart filling...with an uncontrollable ache...

"Was I just a victim of circumstance? " she asked his silent step as he disappeared around a bend.

"No... Just a fool who fell in love" she answered herself, her tears falling.

Heero exhaled the minute he turned the bend in the corridor.

Involuntarily his body leaned against the wall. "What's wrong with you?" he demanded cursing himself... "You are OVER love...she deserves better. Not a psycho maniac" he berated himself.

Hanging his head in angst he could hear, in his being her sobs of pain. . . I did this...he thought, during the war I had an excuse to not push her away...but now I can undo this. Now she can have a real life.

His skin crawled with goosebumps as their few intimate moments together flashed in his mind...teasing him and cursing him at once. The love he was giving up. The heart he was breaking. The soul he was losing, "Oh Relena..."

Heero stared at the white envelope in his hand. Months had gone by, and Relena had stopped. He didn't hear her voice on the phone; he didn't see her face searching for his. She had dropped out of his life. Like he had asked. Each night, he dreamed of her touch...of her kiss. Of anything that could for a moment, bring her close to him.

Opening it slowly he was surprised as he pulled out a second envelope to it. His names was written elegantly in her handwriting, "Relena... " he murmured. Pausing for a moment he searched himself, would he take her back? Were they really better off without one another? Running his fingers over her handwriting he felt tears climb to his eyes, reminding himself that even the 'perfect soldier' would need someone...and possibly someone...not the masses...but SOMEONE would need him too "You've won... " he told her silently, for the first time releasing himself to her.

Opening the second envelope expecting to see a letter of devotion, like so many times before, and finally ready to accept it...But he didn't.

A card embroidered with silver writing stared at him in the face...

Relena was getting married...she had found someone.

"Oh Heero...we weren't intimate lovers...and we weren't even friends...we just came to an end...the end of love." Relena thought as she stared at her wedding dress...the soft satin...and diamonds..."This was what you wanted wasn't it?" she asked him quietly, the vbreeze floating in through the open window, "the end of love..."

Heero dropped the invitation as he stared out the window to catch the remains of the day...the remains of what might have been. A breeze brushed against his face as he imagined for a moment it was Relena's sweet breath against his skin.

***

The four pilots stared at Heero in silence.

None had known. None would have guessed. Sadness radiated from Duo for his friend. He had lost more in the war than any of the others. He had lost his hope...he had lied the whole time. Fighting for a cause he didn't ever believe would come to pass. And when it did...Heero was shocked. And by the time he was able to accept love and hope...he lost the one who was his soul mate.

"Heero..." he began but Heero silenced him with a wave, "that was a long time ago."

"Time doesn't live in ones heart...the pain goes on forever" Trowa said quietly.

Quatre glanced at Trowa...Trowa...the ever perfect gentleman...out of all of them the one who had ended up alone.

Trowa's gaze shifted from Heero out towards the sinking sun, streaking the sky in shades of pink and yellow...pink... the soft color of her cheeks...

***

Pushing her midnight hair out of her face Adriana peered at Trowa closely. He didn't stir under her stare but his eyes didn't waiver for a moment.

Before he could say anything a bright smile filled her face, "AH HA!" she exclaimed hopping up from her position on the couch.

His eyes widening he sat up straighter, "What? What are you talking about? " He demanded as he pulled her down into a sitting position, "Don't jump on the couch. Quatre will freak out."

Giggling she sat cross legged and stared at him intently, "I know. I know your secret! Quatre was right!" she pronounced taking Trowa's hands in hers.

His insides quaked, panic running through him, did she know? Did she really know he loved her?

"You're in love!" she pronounced her black eyes vibrating with excitement.

"I-I-What?!" he exclaimed pulling his hands from her.

"You are! It's in your eyes! Quatre has suspected for awhile. . And he's right! Come on Trowa...who is she? Huh?" Adriana asked jumping up from her position on the couch, striking a pose she batted her eyelashes, "is she beautiful? A supermodel?" pacing around Adriana wrinkled her nose in playful concentration, "Is she perfect for you Trowa? Perfect for the perfect Gundam Pilot?" she asked as she rushed to him and kneeled down in front of him peering up at him through her curtain of dark lashes.

His throat tight, his voice squeaked, "I don't know what you are talking about..." he managed out.

"She is, isn't she?" Jumping up she turned to the direction of the French doors opening into the living room.

Quatre walked into the room, a welcomed smile on his face, "Trowa! Good to see you" he said approaching his long time friend. Trowa stood up from his position on the couch as he smiled at him.

"Quatre love...you were right the whole time...Trowa is in love with someone..." Adriana turned her liquid dark eyes to Trowa, "Its in his eyes..."

A bright smile filled Quatre's face, "Oh Trowa! That's great!"

Trowa's heart cringed in pain as he plastered a smile on his face, "Quatre...Yea...I... I was in love with someone...and I still am. But she doesn't...doesn't need me."

"Oh Trowa come on you won't know until you try!" Adriana whipped her head around causing her loose locks of hair to whip around with her.

"She's right you know." Quatre added. Trowa's always so shy. It would be wonderful to see him with someone intimately.

Adriana turned back to Quatre. "Maybe we should show him how good it is to be in love." She said mischievously. This darker side to her always seemed to warn trouble but so far it had done nothing serious. So far.

"Trowa you're missing out on something so wonderful!" Quatre was interrupted as Adriana moved in to kiss him.

She pulled away and looked at Trowa, a glint of nothing less than love for Quatre in her eyes. "It's wonderful Trowa. You should go for it no matter what."

"Is Trowa okay?" Quatre said, pulling out of Ariana's arms. "Perhaps you were a bit too spontaneous?" He added. Trowa appeared in shock.

"I'm okay." Trowa breathed but with no force behind it. His mind couldn't focus. She's not mine. Quatre's my best friend. I can't ruin that for something I don't even know I can get. I can't ruin that for the world. Quatre trusts me and I won't ruin that. Yet no matter how many times Trowa tried his thoughts always turned back to Quatre's fiancee, her lithe body, her soft hair, the wonderful way she always managed to get him to smile. But he always remembered every time his heart was torn apart whenever she said love. Love for Quatre. And every time she watched them kissing without ever being aware

***

"So you mean." Now it was Quatre's turn to be in shock, years later. Immediately his health decreased and he became more raspy than usual. "I didn't know Trowa. I'm so sorry."

"No need to be."

"I am as well." Wufei said, causing a slight surprise among the other old men. "Women do that to you. You should watch out."

"So it appears that you were one of the luckier ones Wufei." Duo muttered bald plate gleaming in the light, reflecting the sorrows being told at this table. Out side the bright sunny day in no way at all mirrored the inside of the nursing home.

"And Quatre the luckiest." Heero said. So many secrets, all being revealed at their time of death. Perhaps splitting up and going on their own way had been a mistake. But it's too late now, Heero thought.

"Lucky...no... Heero the wedding...it wasn't postponed like I said it was..." Quatre sighed.

***

He sat in silence. The breeze touching his face...the buzz from the garden carrying itself over to him, reminding him of what he was trying so hard to get through...

'A few more hours' he told himself.

His heart bled in his soul as he wrung his hands together, "get it together Trowa."

~

"You're beautiful...absolutely beautiful," Iria said, a smile vivid on her face. Adriana turned in her wedding dress, noting to herself how much Iria looked like Quatre.

"Thanks..."she mumbled rubbing her stomach, "Eck. I am so nervous!"

Iria hugged her soon to be sister in law, "I have something to tell you... " she said.

Adriana raised and eyebrow as Iria pulled her over to the chair, "You have made...Quatre...the happiest I have ever seen him. Thank you. I thought that him...well him being a Gundam pilot and all...well you've given him a new lease on life...and I can't ever tell you what that has meant to me."

Adriana's eyes teared, her insides quivered, she never saw her Quatre as a Gundam pilot, the bearer of men's deaths. Hundreds of them. It was a part of him that she wasn't sure if she could ever accept. Looking away from Iria Adriana stood up, "yes...well..." she said her voice trailing off.

"That part of his life is done Iria..." Adriana said finally turning to her with a bright smile on her face, "it's time for peace."

Iria nodded, "Yes... for now. Adriana...once a Gundam pilot. Always a Gundam pilot."

Adriana nodded solemnly.

"Come...I am sorry. We shouldn't be talking about this on your wedding day!" she said hugging her.

Adriana managed a laugh; "yes well something's can't be avoided" but thought 'no matter how much I want them to be.'

Adriana moved through the halls, her satin white wedding dress gathered in her gloved hands as she burst out into the open air.

Feelings of suffocation threatened to send her into a panic attack, "calm down" she told herself as the setting sun welcomed her dark eyes.

Her eyes were drawn to a long figure sitting under the weeping willow.

Narrowing her eyes, she noticed the familiar figure, the familiar soul.

"Trowa?" she called as she moved towards him. Careful to not let an inch of her dress touch the deep green earth.

"Great now you're hearing things" he told himself irately as he heard Adriana's voice float through the air.

"Trowa" Adriana said again as this time she let her dress trail after her, ignoring the threat of stains as she placed a careful gloved hand on his shoulder.

Surprised Trowa jumped up and spun around to see Adriana, clothed in her wedding dress staring intently at him.

"Trowa? Are you all right?" she asked as she took his hand in hers, trying to calm him down. He looked like a deer caught in headlights.

He nodded slowly, imprinting her image in his mind. The last time she could have been his. The last time before she was Mrs. Quatre Winner.

"I'm fine... " he breathed as he turned from her and glanced towards the last dying of the lights...pink and yellow.

Adriana studied him closely, he looked so sad.

Then it hit her all at once.

Tears filled her eyes, her heart ached.

"Oh Trowa..." she whispered as she instinctively wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.

Surprised at this he just looked down at her small body clinging to him. It felt right. It felt like a dream.

"I am so sorry." was all she could mutter, and as she felt his arms encircle her waist all her butterflies and nervousness filtered away with the last dying of the light.

"Hey there buddy...are you ready?" Duo questioned clapping Quatre on the back. Quatre smiled brightly at him, "of course. I am marrying the most wonderful person I have ever met."

"Well good...cause you are going to have to be in high spirits to deal with Dorothy out there...she is kinda losing it." Duo said with a laugh.

Quatre rubbed his forehead... a frown crossing his features.

"Are you nervous?" Heero asked.

"No... If this was wrong. Then I'd be nervous. But I know she is right for me. I don't have a single doubt about her. I've never loved anyone...anyone like I know I love her...the possibility for me to love her even more."

"I think I am going to be sick" Wufei murmured excusing himself.

Trowa's heart wretched as he unlatched himself from her. Knowing that would be the one and only time she would ever cling to him.

Adriana smiled sadly at him, "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me?" was all she could ask.

"How?" he said as he stared down at her, grief etched in his face.

"I love Quatre, Trowa. I do. He is so...beautiful. But I won't do this. I won't drive a wedge between the two of you. The brotherhood of Gundam pilots goes deeper than any love he and I could share. Of any love any of you could share with a lover," kissing him lightly on a cheek her smile reached of pain as she pulled away, "Help Quatre now...be there for him. Let him grieve ok?" she said stepping away from him slowly, "But please...Trowa... don't forget to grieve for us too. For what could have been, if you had just told me before." with that Adriana stepped towards the limo and let herself in. It pulled away from the curb and disappeared.

***

"She loved you?" Quatre said, his eyes dark and forlorn.

"No... No she didn't love me Quatre...She loved you. She loved all of us. But she only loved you." Trowa said as he studied his old friend.

"Her heart was too big" Quatre said.

"I'm sorry Quatre." Trowa said. Suddenly standing up he clutched at his heart. "I'm sorry I ruined it for you."

"Trowa!" Quatre cried.

"I'm sorry I kept it away." The old man fell to the ground. "I'm sorry I made her leave."

"No Trowa don't talk like that! Don't say things like that!" Quatre rushed to Trowa's side cradling his head. "Adriana was right Trowa, she was right. What would you do if we had married?"

"I would" Trowa looked into Quatre's eyes the tears just about to brim over. "Kill myself."

The nurses arrived surrounding the two, causing the moment to be shattered with bustle.

"Take him away! To his room!" The nurses were busy, and took Trowa from Quatre's arms.

"No! Wait!" Quatre screeched in his old mans voice. However the nurses were used to louder tones and took no heed of one mans plea. "Please. Wait." His voice dying down Quatre looked down the hall that Trowa disappeared to.

"Quatre. You in there?"

Quatre nodded to himself, forgetting that the door was closed- and the voice on the other side couldn't see. When no one entered he replied, "Yes." Since Trowa had been taken away Quatre could feel the pain in his heart and once Trowa had died he felt the tug at it too. It's my turn now, Quatre thought.

The opening door revealed a stricken Duo. How time flies and during the course it changes so drastically, Duo noted. For just a few hours ago they had been sitting at breakfast joking away. And now they were one less and grieving. Another burden on our hearts, Duo thought morosely. Hobbling in to the room Duo was surprised at Quatre's condition. "Quatre Are you okay?" Duo asked.

"Yes." Quatre replied, and the air of a passing man was released over the room. "It's my turn."

"No. No it's not!" Duo refused to believe.

"Don't make it harder on me."

Kneeling down Duo cradled Quatre's head, much the way Quatre had done for Trowa. "But why do you have to go?" Still delirious in his old age, Duo asked senseless questions, wasting the last few moments Quatre had.

"I didn't get to tell him." Quatre mumbled.

"Tell him what? Who?"

"Trowa. I didn't get to tell him I love him."

"But he knows that!"

"I wish that he didn't get taken away so soon. I wanted to tell him that Adriana made the right choice." Quatre broke down in a fit of coughing.

"But you did! You did!" Duo said, while trying to soothe Quatre's throat.

"He needed to know that I forgave him. He needed to know that if he had killed himself I would have died too." As you are now, Duo thought. Are their bonds really so strong? Are Heero and I as close as this?
"I want him to know that he would have killed me by killing himself, and Adriana saw that. And that she is right. I could never love anyone" Quatre choked, as if the words were there for so long but never managed to get out. "I could never love anyone more than him. He was my brother. The only one I had."

Such an old wound opened again and it is indeed bleeding profusely. "Quatre" Duo breathed, why is this happening now? Of all times! Duo clutched Quatre close.

"So you see. I have to go. To tell Trowa this. In the next world." The sun still radiated from Quatre's eyes but as Duo watched they dulled to those of a dead one's.

"Good bye." Duo whispered, letting go of Quatre. "I shall see you two there too. Soon."

Wufei swept by the room, for his was down the hall. "How's Quatre?" He asked as Duo closed the door behind him.

"You're too late. He's gone."

Wufei stared hard at Duo, "Maxwell you are lying" he said through clenched teeth.

"No... No I'm not." he mumbled as he turned away from Wufei. Pushing Duo aside Wufei let himself into Quatre's room. Quatre. Still. Pale. Approaching the bed side slowly Wufei's eyes widened as he knew Duo spoke the truth, "This isn't fair" he cursed, his hand balled into a fist, "He was the best of us. The only one who was human. Who was NOT his Gundam...he never identified himself by being a Gundam Pilot. He as human first."

~

"Trowa..." Heero breathed as he sat at his old friends bedside, Trowa's face still. Finally at peace. The erasure of all the pain, hurt, and hate that had molded him when he was young, and the soft kiss of love from his friends that had saved him. Heero's heart ached. He was so tired. So tired. And so sad. His tears the only company in the room. The great Heero Yuy. In tears. "Come home with your shield...or on it. God speed" he whispered gently in Trowa's ear as he then stood up and walked towards the window, pulling himself onto the windowsill. "Mission accomplished."

"HEERO" Duo screeched as he rushed as fast as his body could take him to the window. In an instant of his heartbeat he knew what had happened. Heero had flown one last time. Tears gripping his soul Duo's legs gave out as he fell to the ground, "I don't...I don't want to be the God of Death anymore. I don't want to be anything but human...Give us OUR LIVES BACK" Duo screamed at a non-existent God. He had never believed in God. "I hate you." Duo said, his voice low, "is this what you do? Make me hate you? To acknowledge you? You clever ol' bastard...Took everything away from me...void me of my life...just to make me accept your existence? Now I know. You better fucking take me too." Duo pulled himself up to see the medics covering Heero's body, "DO YOU HEAR ME GOD? DO YOU?"

Wufei stared at Duo's back as he cursed the maker who made Duo a God in some sense. Made each of them God's. The givers and takers of lives. The five Gundam Pilots. There is no peace for a God. There is no rest.

Duo leaned against the wall, his breath heavy. sweat beading on his brow, his heart in shambles... "And finally God...you loathsome creature...I thought of you. I'm ready. Bring me Peace."